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Tips for Starting a Meditation Practice in the New Year

It’s the beginning of a new year, so lawyers may be thinking about new years goals and resolutions. For many people, this might include the goal of exploring mindfulness or starting a meditation practice.

If this is your intention for the year, I think it’s a great one. But all of us know that noble intentions in January sometimes fade by February. How can you start a meditation practice in January that has the hope of lasting the year and beyond?

That’s why I wrote this piece. In this post, I will share some tips intended to help you explore meditation and turn it into a real practice.

Establish Meditation as a Habit

My first advice for lawyers exploring meditation is to start small. That isn’t only because it’s kinder to yourself. It’s also much easier to do something repeatedly if it takes less time.

The biggest problem many lawyers and professional have with meditation is finding the time to practice. Given this, it is essential to not overwhelm yourself at the beginning.

I started my meditation practice over a decade ago at 1 minute per day because that is all I could handle. Though I was quickly able to add minutes on as the days went by, this small increment of time meant I had very few excuses to skip practice.

This meant that I quickly established a habit of meditating every day. If you want the benefits of meditation, making the practice regular is important. To do this, start with short sessions but aim for regular, ideally daily, practice. If you need any more help on brainstorming meditation as a habit, download this free worksheet.

Focus on Building Skills Instead of Being “Perfect” at Meditation

Now, you may be worried that even if you make meditation a habit, you still don’t know what you are doing. So you may be worried about doing the practice wrong or wasting your time.

I have shared basic meditation instructions on this blog and posts about a variety of different meditation practices, including breath practice, body scan, joy, and loving-kindness. At the beginning, though, I would not worry so much about being right in meditation.

Of course, no lawyer wants to waste their time. But the mistakes in meditation are often the best teachers. Meditation is not a thought exercise. It is an experiential practice. You learn how to do the practice by meditating.

At the beginning, then, the object is not to be perfect but instead to cultivate some basic skills. These include the following:

Patience with yourself;
Focus (including which focal point works for you);
Learning what calms and soothes you;
Connecting with bodily sensations;
Noticing when you are thinking;
Redirecting attention; and
Self-kindness.

Image of author Claire E. Parsons with quote from post "Of course, no lawyer wants to waste their time. But the mistakes in meditation are often the best teachers. Meditation is not a thought exercise. It is an experiential practice. You learn how to do the practice by meditating."

Don’t Expect to See Quick Progress in Meditation

Many lawyers start a meditation practice because they want the benefits they have read about in research studies. They want to feel less stress, they want to be able to focus on demand, and they want more happiness and kindness.

Then they sit down in meditation and they feel stressed because they can’t focus. They feel tired and bored. Their feet fall asleep, their knees and back hurt. All of this is bound to make any reasonable lawyer think the practice doesn’t work.

But here’s the thing: the benefits of meditation often don’t show up in the practice itself, at least not right away. After a while, practice should come to feel a bit more enjoyable and soothing in itself. At first, though, you are still building skills. Expecting to see mastery in your practice is like expecting not to struggle at all when you start a new exercise routine.

This means that you should give yourself some time (four to eight weeks) before you look for any benefits to emerge. And if those benefits emerge, they probably will show up outside of meditation first. These might include things like rushing less, a reduction in the physical signs of stress, or less reactivity.

Though benefits very likely will emerge with consistent meditation practice, be cautious about your expectations. Don’t expect immediate results and look for the benefits in life first before they show up in meditation practice.

Keep Your Practice Simple

One of the problems that knowledge seekers like lawyers may encounter at first is that they can’t decide which mindfulness practice to explore. The list of skills mentioned above may suggest that you must master all forms of meditation in order to gain benefits. Allow me to set the record straight.

While it is great to explore a variety of practices, ultimately simplicity is ideal. Keeping your practice simple will reduce decision fatigue. This means that there is less chance that your actual practice time will be delayed or derailed by too many planning questions.

Over the years, I have done a variety of practices with and without guiding. Eventually, though, I settled into a simple routine that consists mostly of breath focus practice, open awareness, and loving-kindness. I generally don’t do formal body scan practices, but I enjoy them on occasion if I have a special need to relax or calm my body.

Based on this, it is great to explore and shop around with practices at first. After a few days or weeks, though, it is best to settle on the practice that allows you to relax and focus the most. This will allow you time to build proficiency with the practice, so that you can experience benefits and build confidence.

As the months and years go on, you can always adjust your practice. In fact, you may need to do so to address specific issues like increased stress, sleepiness or spacing out, or just to refresh your practice.

Image sharing five tips for lawyers starting a meditation practice as shared in the blog post

Don’t Go It Alone

I offer my last bit of advice with a strong sense of humility. When I started meditating, I practiced totally on my own. I had no teacher or community and at first hid my practice from my family.

It was not until years later that I realized the error in this approach. When I attended my first retreat, I was amazed at how supportive it was to meditate with other people. I couldn’t believe how helpful a few minutes of chatting with a teacher was.

Though many lawyers pride ourselves for our independence, we do best when we remember that humans are social animals. When we humans want to make real habit change, social support is the way to go. If you want to make meditation a lasting part of your life, finding a teacher or community should be a priority.

Now, as I said above, time is often a challenge for lawyers. I am no stranger to this. To be sure, meditation can be learned and practiced on your own and you should not feel ashamed at all about that. If, however, you have any options to meditate in a group, learned from a trained mindfulness teacher, or go on retreat, it will support your practice.

For anyone in the legal profession looking for such a community, the Mindfulness in Law Society provides a highly accessible option.

Conclusion

These are my tips for starting a meditation practice in the new year. They are offered to help busy people like lawyers be kind to themselves while forming a habit that can last. Regardless of the goals you set, I wish you luck in the new year and hope you find whatever practices support you and your community best.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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5 Years of Blogging: Lessons Learned for Mindful Lawyers

Cover image for blog post with picture of birthday cake with candle in shape of number five and title "5 Years of Blogging: Lessons Learned for Mindful Lawyers"

I am really proud to say that I just celebrated five years of blogging. I started this blog in 2020 with little more than a vague notion that I wanted to write about mindfulness for lawyers. I was not sure I would be able to keep the blog going, but I did.

Here are the most surprising lessons I learned along the way.

1. Start with a Vision and Let the Plan Emerge.

Many people start a new goal and think a clear plan is an essential first step. I don’t disagree with this, but this could be an impediment for something new. When I started this blog, I knew a lot about mindfulness but I knew almost nothing about blogging.

What made me start was more of a vision. I knew that my mind was active and I need a place to share my thoughts. I also knew a lot about mindfulness and loved sharing about it. From experience, I also knew that there was a need for practical and accessible instruction for lawyers on the subject.

I did chart out a rough plan to get started. I planned to post weekly and created a few categories of posts to get me started, including:

Mindfulness Basics – posts teaching basic concepts and practices
Mindfulness in Action – posts illustrating how mindfulness works in practice
Brilliant Recommendations – book reviews and resource recommendations
Mind and Body – posts discussing body-based practices
Compassion Practices – posts emphasizing compassion and kindness.

At first, I stuck to this framework and I have on average stuck to my goal of writing weekly. Over time, I added more categories, resources, and meditations.

In other words, sometimes a vision is all you need to get started and a clearer plan can emerge with time.

2. Blogging Takes Some Discipline.

When I tell people that I practice law, teach mindfulness and manage a blog, they always comment on my discipline. While I have sometimes been skeptical about discipline, they do have a point.

In truth, much like mindfulness practice, discipline will not sustain a long-term habit like blogging. But that doesn’t mean it’s not important at all. Much like with mindfulness, I needed discipline to keep coming back to the practice.

There have been so many days when I did not feel like writing or told myself I could not think of a good idea. Then I made myself sit down for a little bit and at least try to write. And you know what? A blog post emerged. Over time, I kind of started to like this. I found it pretty magical.

That magic could not have happened without the small amount of discipline it took me to sit down and try. Discipline is not everything and should not be everything for a habit you mean to last for years but it matters.

3. Blogging Needs to Be Fun.

I have written before about the fact that mindfulness practice should ideally become at least a little bit enjoyable. Even with all the discipline in the world, I never would have kept blogging for 5 years if I wasn’t having some fun.

I love writing. It makes my mind feel better. It allows me to get some of my copious thoughts out of my head and provides much needed mental space. I also love sharing about things that light me up, whether it is mindfulness practices, good movies or music, or stories of amazing people.

There is no doubt that blogging is a ton of work. It required a lot of effort and time. But it also was fun for me to share my story and things I love and to watch something I built grow over time. Good habits require discipline for sure, but the best ones are also fun.

Image that says "celebrating five years of sharing mindfulness for lawyers! Thank you to our guest bloggers, readers, followers, and friends."

4. Good Habits Grow with You.

For good habits to stay fun, though, they have to change along with you. The thing about this blog’s five-year anniversary that makes me the most proud is that it really has grown with me. Change is something that most lawyers deal with frequently.

In the last five years, though, I experienced a lot. I had two job changes, I wrote 2 books and edited a treatise, and my daughters went from little kids to pre-teens. Because of this, I had to keep my blogging flexible.

There were times when I had to pause or take a break from writing. There were times when I wrote more because I had the energy. Part of the reason I think I made it to five years is that I let the blog have this level of flexibility.

5. The Best Habits Sustain You.

This is the thing that most lawyers don’t believe when I tell them. Blogging and writing in general give me more energy than they take. People always ask me how I find the energy to keep a blog going. Some of the answer is that creating things creates energy for me.

As I said, this blog has been with me through a lot of change. Some of the times in the last five years have been really hard. Though this blog takes a lot of effort, it also sustained me during those hard times.

For one thing, having a way to share beneficial things helped me avoid hopelessness when the the world was a challenging place. As a practical matter, much like I have written about when it comes to meditation, all the time I spent writing was time that I didn’t spend agonizing over work or my life.

In this way, writing on the blog gave me something to focus on besides the heavy parts of my life. Sure, I have to come back and face those parts eventually. But I could usually face them with a clearer mind and a fuller heart after spending a little time writing.

Conclusion

There are the lessons I have learned after blogging about mindfulness for five years. I am so glad that I got started and kept going even on the days that I wasn’t sure I could. Just like my mindfulness practice, writing helps me stay mentally healthy and teaches me so much. Thanks to all the lawyers, readers, followers, and friends who have supported the blog. It’s been a great five years and I hope I get to celebrate many more anniversaries in the future.

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The Power of Small Joys for Busy Lawyers

My habits and routines have suffered a bit as the holidays approach. By Friday last week, I felt the prickly tingle on my skin that I have come to recognize as a physical sign of stress. I knew that I needed to prioritize rest over the weekend.

Fortunately, Saturday morning brought sunshine and higher temperatures. It was a lovely respite from the extreme cold and snow that had been common in recent weeks. You better believe that I took advantage of the situation by taking a long walk outside.

That’s why this post is about making small joys like these priorities in a busy life.

Small Joys Can Be Significant

I write a lot about dealing with negative thoughts, situations, and emotions on this blog. That’s not because I enjoy being negative. Instead, it’s because a huge piece of mindfulness practice is cultivating skill in the face of difficulty.

But if you focus your entire mindfulness practice on difficulty, it’s likely that you won’t want to practice very long. As I have written before, mindfulness practice can be enjoyable. In fact, it’s better when we enjoy practice because it helps us feel safe and relaxed. That’s when the mind and heart can open.

This is why I recommend orienting to joy and other positive emotions as much as possible. This is true in meditation practice, but it is even more important in life. Our brains are wired to be negative by nature, but we can train ourselves to reorient towards the joyful moments that happen every day.

We can learn to look for the ordinary and small joys that arise in life and notice how good they feel. If this seems too small, remember that life is a collection of moments. Our brains naturally notice and remember the dark moments. We can create balance and equanimity in life by intentionally noticing and savoring the small joys that arise too.

Small Joys Are Important for Lawyers

Now, busy lawyers are bound to object, saying that they don’t have time for things like this. One of the best things about prioritizing small joys is that it doesn’t have to take any extra time. In the example above, the walk outside did not cost me any extra time. I was already going to exercise. I just made the decision to increase my enjoyment by exercising outside in the sunshine.

These small shifts have big consequences for lawyers. Yes, we are often busy and our minds are often devoted to very important things. But this is an argument in favor of prioritizing small joys instead of against it.

If you are often busy and dealing with stressful things, as lawyers often are, doesn’t it make sense to have some small moments for lighter things? We lawyers often defer gratification for our own needs to support others. It is just common sense that, some of the time, we can please ourselves.

And for busy people like lawyers, it makes even more sense to start with small joys that arise in everyday life. We may not always have time for a vacation or the money to treat ourselves with a gift. In most cases, we can afford a few minutes for a small pastime or indulgence we really like.

Image sharing the 3 steps to lawyers can use to savor small joys as shared in the blog post.

How Lawyers Can Stop and Smell the Roses

If you are anything like me, you may be worrying that you don’t know how to recognize joy, let alone prioritize it. Many of us lawyers get out of the habit of checking in with our own needs and wants. This may happen for a variety of reasons, so if possible avoid judging yourself.

If this sounds like you, a simple way to make joy a priority in your life is to start to notice the things you really like. An easy way to do this is to slow down and pay extra attention to daily routines. What foods do you like the most? What counts as an ideal shower or bath for you? How exactly do you like your bedroom to be at night for sleep? What makes a conversation with someone else really good?

These are just a few examples, but the common theme for them is that they are focused on how you care for your body. As I have written before, emotions are often bodily experiences. So if we want to know what small things bring us joy, it helps to pay attention to our bodies and what helps us care for and soothe them.

How to Make the Most of Small Joys

Once you have started to identify and look for small joys, the next step of course is to prioritize them. In my view, lawyers can prioritize small joys by learning to savor. The word “savoring” is often used with regard to food and our sense of taste, but it can be broader.

In fact, positive psychologist, Rick Hanson, says that we can savor an experience by bringing full attention to it in our minds and bodies. Hanson’s process for savoring joys is one I now use frequently. It includes the following three steps:

Notice and define the thing that is bringing you joy. Using the example from above, I really loved the walk outside because the sunshine was energizing. My body felt light and free being outside and I felt how warming and invigorating the sunshine was during my walk.
Savor it and allow it to last 20 to 30 seconds. Again, using the example from above, every time on my walk I noticed something pleasant, such as the feeling of the sunshine, I let it be there. I kept my attention with it for as long as it remained.
Allow the positive feelings to expand or permeate your body and soak them in. Continuing with the example from above, as I walked I let the relaxation and the new energy spread through my body as I walked. Perhaps I felt the sun on my face, but I let the warmth and energy spread all the way down to my toes during the walk.

Conclusion

Life for most lawyers is not all about joy. It also includes difficulty, stress, and conflict. This is why making the most of small joys is not trivial or frivolous for lawyers. Instead, it is an important practice that can support mental health and lead to a richer, more vibrant life.

Even if savoring small joys is not a current habit, this post offers some small practices to help you make it a regular part of life. Hopefully that means you will take advantage the next time you are presented with a chance to take a walk outside on a nice day.

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Mindfulness Explained: A Guide for Busy Lawyers

I’ve been blogging about mindfulness for almost five years. Today, I realized that I have never done a post explaining what mindfulness is. I’m going to correct that in this post and explain why it matters for lawyers.

Understanding what mindfulness is can help you see the benefits it offers. In this post, I will define mindfulness, explain how it differs from but relates to meditation, and identify the benefits that mindfulness practices produce.

Mindfulness Defined

Mindfulness is a faculty of the human mind. It is something that most humans have – even lawyers. It is the ability to be intentionally and nonjudgmentally aware of your present circumstances.

The definition I use most often when I teach mindfulness is one from researcher Jon Kabat-Zinn. I like this definition because it has clear elements that many lawyers would appreciate. According to Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness is:

awareness
that arises through paying attention
on puprose
in the present moment
nonjudgmentally.

What the Definition Means for Lawyers

No self-respecting lawyer would take the definition of a word at face value. If you are new to mindfulness practice, this is a great trait to have. When it comes to mindfulness practice, you may quickly see that the most common practices are aimed at training up each of these individual elements.

You may think awareness is natural and easy. To some degree it is, but most of are not used to paying attention to our awareness on purpose. Most of us are also not accustomed to doing so in the present moment and nonjudgmentally.

The reality for most of us is that we have access to and experience with mindfulness. If you stop and notice these times, you may notice that moments infused with mindfulness are among your happiest and most meaningful.

But in everyday life, it is often the case that one or more of these elements of mindfulness is missing. That may be due to a busy schedule, life difficulties, too much technology, or a special condition such as a history of trauma or ADHD. As such, most lawyers and people may need help putting the pieces together.

Image sharing definition of mindfulness share in the post "awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally"

Is Meditation Required?

This is where meditation comes into the picture. Meditation and mindfulness are not the same thing. However, meditation and other practices, like yoga or pranayama, help us train mindfulness.

Much like with physical exercise, practices like meditation help us practice each of the elements from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition. Some practices help us gain consciousness of our awareness. Some practices help us train the capacity to keep our attention in the present moment. And some practices help us reduce our habits of judging and reacting to every aspect of life.

Many teachers correctly note that meditation and mindfulness practices cultivate, grow or build mindfulness. In my view, though, the better way of seeing this is to say that these practice remove barriers to mindfulness. By practicing breath focus, body scan, loving-kindness or open awareness, you are letting the clarity of mindfulness shine through. It’s almost like refining a diamond to make it brighter and clearer (hence the name of this blog).

The Benefits for Lawyers

Understanding mindfulness as a collection of skills may help lawyers understand how the benefits of practice emerge. Many lawyers consider mindfulness practice because they want the benefits that research have shown are possible. These include things like reduced stress, better focus, improved physical and mental health, and even more happiness.

Many of these benefits emerge, though, not from merely experiencing mindfulness as a state. Instead, they happen when we can cultivate mindfulness as a personal trait.

As I have written, there are numerous benefits from having a regular period in your day for mindfulness practice. These include clarity about your values and intention, resting your nervous system, and getting in touch with your feelings. These periods of calm are essential for lawyers who are often busy and in stress situations.

But as you rest in mindfulness practice, you also build skills. Slowly and surely over time, you build patience, self-compassion, focus for increasing periods of time, steadiness amidst adversity, and emotional awareness. It is through this regular practice and training that mindfulness becomes a trait.

In this way, mindfulness does not make the normal stresses of life go away. It does not make the challenges lawyers face disappear. Consistent mindfulness practice, though, may help you respond to and even see the challenges and stresses of life and work differently.

Image with a quote from the post that says "Benefits don’t emerge from merely experiencing mindfulness as a state. Instead, they happen when we cultivate mindfulness as a personal trait. "

How Lawyers Can Get Started with Mindfulness

If you want to get started with mindfulness practice, here are some of my top pieces of advice:

start small and focus on establishing consistency;
find a teacher or explore resources, such as my book or many of the books reviewed on this blog, that can give you a roadmap and helpful tips;
find a supportive community, such as the Mindfulness in Law Society events;
another option would be to visit your local dharma or zen center for retreats, events, and courses
discipline is important but don’t be too serious and learn to play with mindfulness practice;
be kind to yourself in meditation or mindfulness practice and let yourself enjoy it; and
don’t forget that movement and mindfulness work very well together.

Conclusion: The Benefits of Mindfulness Come from Practice

In short, mindfulness is a faculty of mind. You have mindfulness already or you wouldn’t have gotten as far as you did. With some practice and training, you can find a regular time for respite in your daily life and make mindfulness a more reliable trait to support your life and work.

As shared in this post, you can get started with practice with small and simple steps. The first step, though, is the hardest and the most important: getting a mindfulness practice started. The good news is that this blog has tons of teachings, meditations, and resources that can help.

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Mindfulness and Your Top 5 Mental Patterns Revealed

Even if you aren’t a Spotify user, you probably heard about the Wrapped year-end reviews last week. Wrapped is a feature that summarizes the year in audio for Spotify users. It lists your top artists, top songs, and this year even provides a listening age.

As I heard friends and contacts share stories about this, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if our minds had a similar feature. What would it be like if, each year, we got a list of our top 5 mental patterns?

What If You Got a Yearly Report of Your Mental Patterns?

What if our minds generated some kind of fun video for us to watch and play back our inner audio over the past year? I can’t decide if I would want to watch this video or not. When it comes to music, it can be fun to reflect on the albums and songs that made your year. Thoughts and emotions, though, can be another matter.

In truth, learning about your mental patterns and repetitious thoughts is one of the principal benefits of mindfulness practice. Once you practice meditation enough, you can generate your own mental version of the Spotify Wrapped.

Mindfulness Can Help You Identify Your Top 5 Mental Patterns

Mindfulness practice may help you learn what your top 5 mental tendencies are. For instance, after more than 10 years of meditation, I know that my top 5 usually includes: (1) planning; (2) worrying; (3) wondering; (4) spacing out; and (5) writing. Seriously, my mind is often writing when I meditate whether I am trying to write something or not.

You start to catch repetitious nasty internal phrases. Again, mine include: (1) you aren’t good at this; (2) you will fail; (3) nobody likes you; (4) I’m so embarrassed; and (5) why doesn’t everyone recognize how amazing I am?

Meditation may even help you learn that emotional reactions are part of larger patterns. All my years meditating have helped me see that my top 5 challenging emotions are: (1) anxiety; (2) fear; (3) doubt; (4) anger (that’s hiding anxiety); and (5) loneliness/alienation.

On the flip side, mindfulness practices also helped me see that my top 5 positive emotions are: (1) generosity; (2) humor; (3) compassion; (4) courage; and (5) creativity. This means that sometimes meditation can help us see and embrace our wholesome qualities.

Image listing an example of top 5 mental patterns revealed by mindfulness practice as shared in the blog post

Seeing the Mental Patterns Is Hard but Worthwhile

Unlike the Spotify Wrapped, which usually may be fun or at least funny to see, reckoning with these inner mental and emotional patterns can more of a gut check. Even so, it is worth it because awareness that something has become a pattern provides important information.

1. You Can Take Them Less Personally.

First, seeing your patterns with mindfulness helps you to take things less personally. In the moment, our thoughts and feelings can seem to be really big and important. Mindfulness practice helps you see these incidents as part of a pattern. This helps you zoom out in terms of perspective. You can see an incident as a data point and watch for where your reaction leads instead of being mired in all the messy details.

2. You See How You Can Change the Pattern.

Second, this broader perspective produced in meditation can create the clarity needed to change the pattern. As I have written before, it is exceptionally hard to change habits and patterns. Yet, one of the things that can help us do so is by taking a good clear look at where they lead. Mindfulness can help us see this and it gives us the opportunity to take the steps to make a change.

3. You Gain Motivation to Change the Pattern.

Finally, seeing the reaction or behavior as a pattern helps you appreciate its impact. As I mentioned, changing habits is hard work. It takes discipline and thoughtfulness and a whole lot of self-compassion. In many cases, it can feel daunting even to try to make a change. But, when you see that something is part of a pattern, you can see that it’s not just a singular incident.

In this way, you can see the connection between your singular reaction and the broader state of your life. You can see how your behavior today leads to the circumstances you will face tomorrow and potentially for months and years to come.

Mindfulness Can Help You See Patterns and Change Your Life

As I shared above, I have always struggled with fear and anxiety. It arose in nearly every situation for me. To be honest, it still arises in many situations today. Mindfulness practice helped me see that my anxiety was not just the product of my immediate conditions, but was instead part of a bigger pattern.

Once I saw this, I was in a position to see how much anxiety detracted from my life and kept me from the things I wanted. This was a painful acknowledgement, but it is what motivated me, in very slow and small steps, to change.

For this reason, it is understandable why we all love to hear about our top song, artist, and album lists at the end of the year. Reflecting on our patterns can be a fun thing to do in the case of our music and media choices. It can remind us of the songs that made our years great or helped us cope with a challenging year.

Image that asks the sort of scary question "what would your top 5 mental patterns of the year be?"

At the Year End, Consider Noting Your Top 5 Mental Patterns Too

In the case our minds, taking stock of our patterns can be an interesting exercise too. When it comes to mental patterns and inner reactions, though, seeing things clearly can be a bit more complex. Unlike the Spotify Wrapped, noting the top thoughts or patterns that consume our mental energy can be a bit more challenging.

Even so, I think it is still worth it. Most of us will forget our Spotify Wrapped within a week after we see them each December. Once mindfulness practice helps you see your mental patterns, though, it is hard to forget what they are. It not only opens up new possibilities for change. It also creates a little more space for self-kindness.

At the end of the year, while you are compiling your top lists, it may be interesting to consider your top 5 mindfulness lists too. What occupied your mind most this year? What mental patterns were the most frequent for you? What common phrases played in your mind on a loop?

I don’t promise that reflecting in this way is as fun as seeing your Spotify Wrapped, but when viewed with mindfulness and self-compassion, it may open up fresh possibilities for the new year.

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How Lawyers Can Use Self-Compassion for Growth

December can be hit or miss for lawyers depending on how your year was. It can be a big celebration if you had a lot of growth. But it can be a struggle if the year did not quite go as you had hoped. In both cases, self-compassion is in order.

Now, you may think it’s odd that I say self-compassion is important if you achieved your goals. If so, jump down to point 2 below. Most of us understand innately why self-compassion might help when we fail to achieve our goals.

The struggle, of course, is in remembering to use employ it. That is why I am reminding you about it here (and trying to remind myself in the process). If self-compassion is a struggle for you, know that you aren’t alone. But keep reading because this post has some tips and a good resource to help you learn more.

Lawyers Should Be Cautious about Raising the Bar

One of the reasons that I am thinking about this now is that I did not achieve all my goals this year. It was a great year for me. I achieved many of the goals I had set for myself. Sadly, I did not achieve them all and one significant personal project fell by the wayside.

When you are a high achiever, like many lawyers are, it can be really easy to expect that you will achieve all your goals. This can cause you to forget that many of our goals are challenging and subject to conditions outside of our control. What this means is that accomplishing the goals we set for ourselves is not always something we can realistically expect.

How can we reflect on the year in a way that keeps our standards high, but doesn’t continuously raise the bar to unhealthy levels?

Assess Your Growth with Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the tool that can help us find balance here. As I have written before, self-compassion has three simple steps: (a) mindfulness; (b) common humanity; and (c) self-kindness.

Contrary to popular belief, these steps are not about being “easy” on yourself. Instead, they are about being fair to yourself. Self-compassion is about not judging yourself more harshly than you would judge someone else.

Even if you struggle with self-compassion, using the three steps in your year-end reflection can help you take a balanced and accurate view.

Step 1: Mindfully Review the Data

The first step – mindfulness – does not require meditation though that can help. Instead, mindfulness here refers to awareness. To review your year with self-compassion, you would review the data of what transpired.

To do this, you might ask questions like these:

What did you accomplish this year?
How did you use your time?
How do you feel about the year?
What happened during the year that was unexpected or out of your control?

When you ask these questions, be as objective and neutral as you can be. It may help to review your calendar and any relevant data points to ensure your reflections are based on accurate data.

Step 2: Celebrate the Victories

In a normal year, the odds are that the questions above will elicit both positive and negative recollections. Though it may be easy to do, I encourage you to not gloss over the positive parts.

One part of self-compassion that lawyers easily forget is enjoying positive things. If you achieved goals or hit milestones, by all means, celebrate them.

If you struggle to even recognize the positive things you did, as some lawyers might, you can try to reflect on these questions:

What did you do well?
What personal or professional growth did you experience?
What goals did you achieve or what habits did you make last?
What makes you proud about the last year?

This is not an exercise of selfishness or arrogance. In fact, one benefit of reflecting on achievements is that it inevitably leads to reflection of the people and supports who helped you along the way. If these arise, share your celebration by expressing gratitude or praising the people who deserve it.

Step 3: Identify the Areas of Growth

Of course, the biggest struggle for many of us is with the goals we did not achieve. These dreaded “areas of growth” can easily make us feel defeated or hopeless. As people who come to expect high performance, lawyers often don’t know how to process failure when it comes.

This is where self-compassion is really essential. Mindfulness can help us get clear about the things that did not go as we had hoped. The second step, common humanity, is what can help us stay clear and avoid judging ourselves too harshly.

To identify the areas of growth from the year, we can ask ourselves these questions:

What projects did you not get to?
On what goals did you fall short?
What problems or struggles did you encounter?
What things or experiences are missing in your life and work?

After we identify these items, the key is to remember that we are human and that most humans are imperfect. Most humans do not always achieve 100% of their goals 100% of the time. Then, instead of beating ourselves up, we might reflect on the things that were struggles for us and consider what we need to recover or move forward.

Use Self-Compassion to Set New Year Goals

As I have written before, self-compassion is not just for reflecting at the end of the year. It can also help you apply more self-kindness when you set goals for the new year.

This may help you find motivation to start strong with a new habit. It could help you learn to stop procrastinating on one of those nagging projects that you’ve avoided for too long. It can even make sometimes heart-wrenching resolutions, like checking unhealthy habits or weight loss, feel less painful.

If you are looking to set high goals or form healthier habits in the new year, don’t forget about self-kindness and honoring your human needs.

Where Lawyers Can Learn More

Image for webinar event shared in the blog post that is called "recharge your legal mind: year end reflection for growth in the new year"

If you want to learn more about this topic, you are in luck. I will be presenting a webinar for CLE credit on this subject for the Knowledge Group on December 12, 2025 at 12 PM EST. The session will be available on-demand after that date as well.

I will be speaking about Self-Compassion for End of Year Self-Reflection and Goal-Setting. Fellow lawyers and mindfulness teachers, Ron Wilcox and Alexandra Echser-Rasmussen will offer session on mindfulness practices and self-care.

If you would like to join the session, you can connect with me on LinkedIn and send me a message for a 50% off code.

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Mindfulness Techniques That Help Lawyers Break Out of Stress Cycles

Stress can build quickly in the legal profession, often trapping lawyers in exhausting cycles of overthinking, pressure, and emotional fatigue. In fact, a Reuters study found that 66% of lawyers said their time in the profession had harmed their mental health. Another 46% reported they were considering leaving entirely due to stress or burnout.

Mindfulness offers a practical, accessible way to interrupt those patterns. Grounding the mind, easing tension, and finding brief moments of clarity help lawyers break free from reactive stress loops. These practices help them reconnect with their work from a place of balance and control.

In this article, we’ll explore simple mindfulness techniques that support this shift.

Recognizing Stress Triggers Before They Spiral

Recognizing stress triggers early is one of the most powerful ways lawyers can stop stress cycles before they take over. Mindfulness helps by bringing attention to the first signs of tension. It also highlights the subtle moments when the body or mind signals that something is off.

The Mayo Clinic suggests starting by identifying what reliably causes your stress. What makes you feel tense, irritated, or suddenly overwhelmed? Do you notice headaches or stomach discomfort without a clear medical cause? Is your focus slipping or your sleep disrupted?

By observing these cues with curiosity instead of judgment, lawyers can catch stress at its earliest stages. They can then take mindful action before it spirals into a full cycle of pressure and reactivity.

Grounding Techniques That Instantly Calm the Nervous System

Grounding techniques help the nervous system settle quickly by directing attention away from spiraling thoughts and back into the present moment.

One simple option is slow, intentional breathing where you inhale deeply, pause briefly, and then exhale longer than you inhaled. This signals the body to relax and reduces the intensity of stress. Another method is physical grounding, like placing your feet on the floor or pressing your palms together.

The Cleveland Clinic also recommends the 3-3-3 technique, which means noticing three things you can see, hear, and touch. It may be a tree outside the window, a book on your shelf, or a photo on your desk. Pay attention to colors, textures, and small details. Then repeat the process for sounds and physical sensations.

These practices create an immediate feeling of steadiness and help lawyers regain control during high-pressure moments.

Mindful Reflection Practices for Long-Term Stress Reduction

Mindful reflection helps lawyers break long-term stress patterns by creating space to understand what truly affects their well-being. Simple practices such as journaling, a mindful review of the day, or intentional decompression routines create space to slow down. They also help you notice what triggered stress and how you responded.

Approaching these reflections with curiosity rather than judgment builds resilience and prevents the same stressful cycles from repeating.

Reflection can also inspire long-term professional growth, especially when lawyers explore new ways to shape their careers through flexible learning paths. This can include options like pursuing an online Juris Doctorate program. Such opportunities help lawyers grow their skills, broaden their practice options, and align their careers with their goals.

Cleveland State University notes that an online JD program requires 90 credits and includes experiential learning. The best thing is that it can be completed part-time in just over three years.

Using Mindful Pauses to Interrupt Negative Thought Loops

Using mindful pauses is one of the most effective ways for lawyers to interrupt negative thought loops before they intensify. A mindful pause can be as simple as stopping for a moment and taking a slow breath. It also involves observing what is happening in your mind without getting pulled into it. This brief reset creates enough space to choose a calmer response instead of reacting automatically.

Verywell Mind also suggests shifting your focus through healthy distractions when thoughts feel especially persistent. Stepping outside, moving your body, getting absorbed in a project, or reading for a few minutes can all help. Even activities like tai chi or karate can clear the mind. These small pauses redirect mental energy and break the momentum of stress-driven thinking.

Body Awareness Practices That Release Tension and Promote Focus

Body awareness practices help lawyers release built-up tension and return to a state of steady focus during demanding workdays. These techniques involve checking in with physical sensations rather than ignoring them, which is something many attorneys unintentionally do while rushing between tasks.

Noticing tightness in areas like the jaw, shoulders, or lower back is an important first step. It gives you the chance to gently relax those spots with slow breathing or simple stretches. Even simple actions like rolling the shoulders, loosening the neck, or unclenching the hands can reduce stress immediately.

Bringing attention back to the body also quiets mental noise. The result is clearer thinking and more thoughtful, deliberate responses. This renewed physical awareness supports better concentration and more grounded decision-making.

Emotional Labeling to Reduce Overwhelm and Reclaim Control

Emotional labeling is a simple but powerful mindfulness practice that helps lawyers reduce overwhelm and regain a sense of control. Instead of getting swept up in stress, you pause and name what you feel.

Labeling the emotion creates space and helps you understand what is happening inside. This shift calms the nervous system and interrupts the urge to react quickly or defensively.

By identifying emotions with honesty and without judgment, lawyers can navigate challenging situations with more clarity, stability, and confidence.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can mindfulness help lawyers who struggle with chronic stress or anxiety?

Yes, mindfulness can help lawyers. It trains the mind to stay present, reduces overthinking, and calms the nervous system. With regular practice, lawyers often feel more grounded, clearer in their decisions, and better able to manage ongoing pressure.

What mindfulness techniques work best during high-stakes legal work?

Breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and brief mindful pauses work best during high-stakes legal work. These practices steady the mind, reduce tension, and help lawyers stay focused and composed. Even a few slow breaths or a quick sensory check can restore clarity in demanding moments.

How do I know if my mindfulness routine is actually working?

You’ll know your mindfulness routine is working when you notice small but consistent shifts. These may include calmer reactions, better focus, improved sleep, or less tension during stressful moments. You may also find it easier to pause before responding and recover more quickly from stressful situations.

Breaking the Cycle With Mindful Awareness

Mindfulness gives lawyers practical tools to step out of stress cycles and return to a steadier, more grounded way of working. Even small practices can create meaningful shifts in focus, clarity, and emotional balance.

By integrating these techniques into daily routines, lawyers can strengthen their resilience and navigate their profession with greater ease and confidence.

Author bio: Writer by day, dream catcher by night. Marchelle Abrahams cut her teeth during the infancy of the internet when the dial sound of the modem was more than a soundbite at a rave. Not a Millennial and not a Boomer, Marchelle is an in-betweener, making her a special breed of human. As a qualified journalist, Marchelle believes her superpower is stringing a few words together and people reading them. That, and the ability to take her kids on with her unique brand of gnarly comebacks.

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Why Lawyers Need Support in Tough Cases

I’m presenting a new CLE for Lawline today on dealing with difficult people in law practice. This is something that most lawyers come to experience at some point in their practice.

As I wrote last week, I have practiced with and against many fine lawyers in my years of practice. In fact, the majority of the attorneys I have worked with have been wonderful people.

Unfortunately, though the attorneys who have behaved badly are among the minority in my experience, they have created more than their fair share of stress and difficulty.

Difficult People in Law Practice

Even so, in the presentation I make an effort to separate the people from the behavior. I focus instead on offering strategies rooted in mindfulness and compassion that can help support one’s mental health and well-being when dealing with difficult cases.

I will share more about this in the CLE, but in case you can’t watch or attend, I offer the most important point here. The single best thing lawyers can do to support themselves when dealing with a difficult opposing counsel or party is to get help.

Lawyers Deserve Support with Difficult Cases

I’m sorry if that is a let down but it’s true. Lawyers tend to be independent people. We are accustomed to solving other people’s problems. As a result, we can sometimes exaggerate how many problems we can handle on our own.

But when I say “get help” here, I don’t mean to imply that lawyers can’t handle a difficult case on their own. In fact, most of us probably do this regularly. What I mean instead is that, for those really difficult cases involving counsel or parties with whom you struggle, getting some support can really help.

Social Support Is Essential for Lawyers

Remember that lawyers are humans first. The most effective and healthy way to process and manage stress is to get social support. If you are dealing with a difficult opposing counsel, client, or party in a case, you deserve support from colleagues, family, and friends.

This support may just be good for you. It also may be essential for ensuring that lawyers make good judgments about the case. In difficult times, even the most seasoned lawyers may struggle to see issues objectively when an opposing counsel has made their life miserable for months on end.

In this way, getting support from a trusted colleague or your firm’s ethics or general counsel may help you ensure your choices are strategic and not reliatory. This can help you stay true to your values in difficulty and stress instead of forgetting them due to high emotions.

How Lawyers Can Get Support for Their Cases

Some lawyers may struggle with asking for help. I know that I used to be like this. In recent years, though, I have drastically changed my approach. This is in part because I have learned that I often solve problems faster, most effectively, and with less pain when I do.

Dealing with difficult counsel, clients, or parties can create a lot of problems for lawyers. This can include extra work or overwhelm. It can also include dealing with big feelings, ranging from anxiety, frustration, anger, or even sadness. It can also include confusion about strategy and doubt or imposter syndrome about one’s own abilities.

In this way, you can start asking for help by seeking support or delegating work tasks if possible. You can also ask for help just by asking a trusted colleague or friend to listen while you share your feelings. Where possible, it can be a wonderful support to talk over a case with a fellow lawyer to get perspective and strategy ideas.

Getting Help Can Make Dealing with a Difficult Case Bearable

Of course, you know that getting help when dealing with a difficult case, opposing counsel, or party does not solve the whole problem. Getting help does not make all the stress go away. Social support does not mean lawyers can avoid the people or cases who make their law practice hard.

In my experience, though, getting some help and support does one really important thing. It makes dealing with the difficult case bearable. It makes the situation less lonely. It often reduces overwhelm. It can sometimes inspire confidence and newfound motivation to handle the matter effectively and stay true to your values.

If you are dealing with a difficult case, check out the new CLE on Lawline for tips and strategies for navigating it well. But if you can’t make it, follow my next best advice. Don’t handle the case entirely on your own. Get social support and help as you navigate the difficult case.

Image of founder Claire E. Parsons with details of Lawline CLE called "Dealing with Difficult People: Mindfulness Strategies for Lawyers"

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Five Reasons Kindness Is Essential for Lawyers

In honor of World Kindness Day, I am giving a talk this week on the power of kindness for lawyers and legal professionals. Many lawyers are skeptical of kindness, at least in relation to our work. We worry that kindness will be viewed as weakness by others and lead to passivity in ourselves.

Clearly, I don’t have illusions that I can convince an entire profession on this point, but I don’t think I have to do any convincing. If you pay attention to what kindness really is, you will see that it is powerful and essential for lawyers today. Here are five things to consider as you explore this for yourself.

1. Kindness Is Rare for Lawyers and Therefore Precious.

As a general matter, I have had mostly positive experiences with other lawyers. In general, I have experienced that lawyers are polite and professional in most settings. Real kindness, on the other hand, is more rare.

As discussed below, law practice is often challenging and filled with stress. This both makes kindness more essential and also more challenging. As most of us know, the difference between a difficult and unbearable situation is kindness. I cannot tell you how much of a difference it makes to work with an opposing counsel who is kind. We communicate more effectively and work through problems more efficiently as a result.

Though I know that many clients think they want a bulldog lawyer, I have found those types of litigators to often be ineffective. Therefore, if you want to really show power, calm, control, and courage in law practice, being kind is the way to go.

2. Kindness Is Essential in Difficult Times.

I have written before that kindness is an essential trait for difficult times. Lawyers, of course, are usually dealing with difficult times. We are literally paid to manage other people’s problems. This means our stock and trade is dealing with people going through really hard situations.

If lawyers are to weather these storms, we must learn skills for caring for ourselves and others. Sometimes this may include tending to our own fears, worries, and hurts. Sometimes it may mean patience with a stressed or unskillful opponent. And sometimes it may mean showing calm courage for our scared clients.

Either way, kindness is essential for lawyers because it helps us and our clients navigate challenging situations.

3. Kindness Is An Antidote to Fear and Aggression.

Because stress and conflict is a big part of law practice, fear and aggression unfortunately are too. This can be hard for our clients, but it is definitely hard for lawyers. One of the reasons that kindness is so powerful is that it helps people feel safe or at least safer.

In this way, kindness is an antidote to fear and aggression. It is a way that we can calm our own nerves and built trust and safety with those around us. Kindness may not make fear and aggression disappear entirely but it can help us create a sense of steadiness and comfort during emotional upheaval.

This can help lawyers focus more squarely on the relevant issues and avoid creating additional fights.

Image sharing the five ways that kindness is essential for lawyers as shared in the blog post

4. Kindness Builds the Connections that Lawyers Need.

Related to the feeling of safety is trust. Most lawyers know that relationships are at the core of law practice. Relationships permeate what we do as lawyers, including those with our firm, opposing counsel, and clients.

Kindness is a way to build trust because it is how we demonstrate care and concern for others. One of the reasons that litigation is so difficult is that trust is often lacking between parties and legal counsel as well. This is one reason that kind and professional speech is so important in litigation contexts.

When trust is lacking, it is easy to misunderstand each other and overreactions are bound to occur. Kindness is a way to cut through this animosity and rebuild the trust that is so essential to our working relationships.

5. Kindness Looks Soft but Feels Like Power.

The best and final argument I can make for kindness is not an argument at all. That’s because the best argument for kindness is in the experience of it. Lawyer struggle with kindness because it is easy to misunderstand.

In many situations, kindness has a softness to it. When we feel kindly towards someone, we may feel a softening of our hearts and a sense of generosity towards them. When someone is kind to us, we may notice a quiet, soothing voice and a non-threatening posture.

Next time you offer or experience kindness, though, I urge you to pay closer attention. Though kindness undoubtedly has a softness to it, it often also includes stability, calm, courage, and support. In this way, even though kindness may look soft to an observer, it often feels powerful to those who give and receive it.

In truth, kindness is power because it offers us the possibility of transforming a situation or building a connection with a little bit of courage, presence, and an open heart.

Don’t Take My Word for It. Try This for Yourself.

Here’s the truth: you probably already know how essential kindness is. Most of us wouldn’t have gotten as far as we have without kindness in our lives. Even so, most of us would love to have more kindness in our lives. If you are nervous about showing more kindness in your life or work, you aren’t alone. Kindness takes courage, discipline, and patience.

But when you pay attention, you may notice that it feels really good and usually leads to even better results. That’s what this post was really about anyway. I hope it helps you know where to look and to look for when it comes to kindness in your life and work. The more you study and notice kindness, the more you will want to experience and share it with others.

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How Mindfulness Helps Break Mental Patterns

Seeing your mental patterns clearly is one of the biggest benefits of a mindfulness practice. I experienced this recently and the results of a few minutes of meditation were so pronounced that I had to write about it. I had a big attack of anxiety about a party with my law firm. Despite this beginning, the night was actually really fun. I had an amazing time and ended up singing “Pink Pony Club” in front of my colleagues without the slightest feeling of fear.

So what changed? How did I go from social anxiety to social butterfly in the course of a night? The long story is that I have practiced mindfulness for more than a decade. The short answer relevant to this particular situation is that I spotted my mental pattern.

This post will share some steps for recognizing and navigating challenging mental patterns with mindfulness and self-compassion.

What Are Mental Patterns?

People new to meditation are likely to notice that the mind generates a lot of thoughts. If you keep meditating long enough, you eventually will see that thoughts are often not original. Many of the same thoughts repeat themselves or fall into categories.

These can fall into a wide array of categories, but many people have a select few that dominate their minds. Some examples include obsession with planning, a recurrent theme of self-doubt, or even a preoccupation with past harms or slights.

One of my most obnoxious mental patterns is the anxiety that arises around social settings. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to shake the fear of being rejected in a social situations. This can make it hard to enjoy myself during the networking events and parties that lawyers often have to attend.

Clearly, taken to the extreme or left unchecked, patterns like this can cause us to feel shame, and miss out on connection, opportunities, and fun. This is why learning to recognize and navigate mental patterns is one of the most important power moves that mindfulness practice can offer.

The Problem: Mental Patterns Can Be Tricky

Here’s the problem with well-worn mental patterns: we often don’t recognize them for what they are. Many lawyers are too busy to pay close attention to our thoughts and feelings. We also are often intent on projecting an image of strong self-assuredness.

So, when nasty mental patterns arise, they can be hard to spot. These patterns don’t announce themselves. Instead, they slink in through the back door of your mind and whisper awful things about you and your life. They have the bleakest and most savage view of every situation.

In my case, the pattern revealed itself by creating little worries about nearly everything associated with the event. My mind criticized the outfit I had selected. It worried about whether my shoes would be too uncomfortable. It offered concerns about whether I would be too tired to have fun. It presented me with mental imagery of me standing alone in a crowded room with nobody to talk to.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Image with quote from blog post that says "mental patterns don't announce themselves. Instead, they slink in through the back door of your mind and whisper awful things about you and your life."

Mindfulness Can Help You Recognize Mental Patterns

After a while of these nagging thoughts, I started to zoom out and get some perspective. Instead of seeing the thoughts as individual rational reflections, I saw them for what they were. These thoughts were the manifestation of my social anxiety.

This hardly sounds like good news, right? I know it is counterintuitive to feel relief that a litany of negative self-talk is *just* one’s anxiety. Even so, there is a very practical benefit to be had from recognizing that the worrisome thoughts are part of a pattern.

An implicit idea underlying all of my nasty thoughts was the idea that I was not good enough and would never be good enough. This is a constant lie that anxiety tells me. But when I saw the mental pattern as just my social anxiety talking, I realized that it was not the voice of reason. I stopped believing it for a moment and that gave me enough space to break free.

The Practice: Holding the Toxic Mental Pattern in Mindful Awareness

When I created enough space, I saw that I was struggling. So I did the thing that I have trained myself over years to do: I took a pause.

It is not a fun to sit and let nasty thoughts just bounce around in your mind. I am sure that this is why so many people say that they can’t meditate. Trust me, I get it. It truly sucks.

Over the years, however, I have learned something cool. If you can sit and let the thoughts bounce around in your mind, they don’t hurt so much. Sometimes the thoughts change. Sometimes other insights arise to counter them. Or sometimes the thoughts just bounce around until they lose energy and they just stop or disappear.

With this experience, I knew that I should just meditate for a few minutes and let the thoughts do whatever they wanted. I let them wash over me and thrash around. All the while I kept returning my focus to my breath or softening and relaxing my body.

Finally, the big insight came that I was nervous about the party. My thoughts weren’t truths. They were signs of my fear. They were signals that I wanted to connect with people, but was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do so.

The Red Flag: Don’t Judge Yourself

In years past, noticing a childlike vulnerability like this in myself might have made me feel worse. But in my case, this was actually the path forward. Years of mindfulness practice, has taught me a lot about self-compassion. That has helped me cultivate a healthy dose of caution when it comes to self-judgment.

Instead of feeling like a loser about my anxiety, I recognized that I just needed some self-assurances. I needed to take care of my fear. First, I offered myself some perspective by reminding myself that this was supposed to be fun instead of a test. Then I remembered that I did not have to stay at the party for any specific period and could leave if it wasn’t fun.

Finally, I drew on common humanity to remember that I was probably not the only person who had these fears. I recalled that social situations are hard for a lot of people and that we had several other new people in the firm. In reality, most of us were too busy, but we made the effort to attend the party because connection matters.

Image sharing the four steps to break mental patterns with mindfulness as shared in the blog post: recognize, hold it in awareness, use self-compassion, and disobey the pattern.

The Result: Being Brave Enough to Break the Pattern

The final step of the process is to break the pattern. Once you see the pattern, investigate it, and take care of yourself, the only way to get out of a pattern is to disobey it.

I won’t lie. This is really hard. If you are new to mindfulness practice, it may not always be possible to get out of mental patterns so easily or you may have to take baby steps. As someone who has practiced mindfulness for more than a decade, I have learned that part of changing my patterns is acceptance.

Life experience helps me run a quick cost benefit analysis whenever my anxiety flares up. I know that fear, worry, and nerves are often going to be part of many social activities I undertake. So I sit with them, take care of my fear, and then make the brave choice to proceed anyway.

Before the party, all my anxious thoughts were attempted roadblocks. They were concocted objections and warnings trying to convince me to skip the party. Life experience has taught me that the best way to silence those thoughts was to take their power. I did that by ignoring them. I just decided to go to the party and be afraid. A few minutes in at the party, I wasn’t afraid anymore.

Conclusion: Mindfulness Practice Is One Way to Check Mental Patterns

Don’t get me wrong here. There are a lot different types of mental patterns. All of us cannot necessarily expect to face those mental patterns on our own. We all deserve the support of trusted friends, medication, and other mental health treatment to face down our most challenging mental patterns, including those relating to anxiety. Even so, one of the great blessings of mindfulness practice is that it can help you support yourself and build the skills to check, disrupt, and break free from some of the mental patterns that hold you back.

This post is just one example of how this can be done, but once you learn a process that works for you it can help you many times over the course of your life. I hope that, like I was able to do in the example shared here, you can recognize difficult mental patterns before they keep you from doing the things you want to do in life.

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