For the first time in a few years, I am looking forward to a relatively easy Well-Being Week in Law. In case you didn’t know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The first week of the month is appropriately dedicated to promoting well-being in the legal profession. As a mindfulness teacher, this is often a busy week for me.
But, as a school lawyer too, this time of year is otherwise hectic for me. I have a few nice events lined up this week, which I share below. In addition, I am looking forward to some rest after a busy April and a lot of speaking engagements.
Guiding Meditation with the Mindfulness in Law Society
The first event for the week is easy and enjoyable for me. On Wednesday, May 6th at 5 PM, I will guide the virtual sit for the Mindfulness in Law Society. I have been involved with the Mindfulness in Law Society for a few years now. Having worked with the group for so long, I now get a strong sense of community from it.
If you have never attended one of the virtual sits before, Well-Being Week in Law is a great week to try it out. For one thing, it is very beneficial to support your meditation practice with sitting in community. In addition, the Mindfulness in Law Society virtual sits are free to attend, easy to access, and led by trained teachers.
To access the sessions, you can find more details and the link to join on my events page. Even if you are very new to meditation practice, the session this week will be perfect at beginners and refreshing for experienced meditators. Since my personal theme this week is keeping things simple and taking it easy, I’ll be guiding a practice with built in breaks.
If you are a lawyer, law student, law professor, or work for a court system or law firm, please join the session.
Interview for the Thriving in Law Summit
On Friday, I will also be talking about one of my favorite topics: self-compassion with fellow lawyer and coach, Gina Steele. Gina asked me to record an interview with her for her Thriving in Law Summit. I love the title she selected, “Becoming a Badass Lawyer: How Self-Compassion and Compassion Towards Others Helps Lawyers Succeed and Thrive.”
In the session, Gina and I will discuss how essential self-compassion and compassion for others are to law practice. We’ll also discuss how real lawyers in the midst of stress and busy lives can cultivate compassion.
In case you are struggling with conference season like I have been, you may be pleased to know that the Thriving in Law Summit is virtual and free to attend. You must register for access at the link above or on my events page.
How I Plan to Support My Own Well-Being
As a school lawyer, it’s too busy right now for me to take any time off next week. I will be trying my best to take it easy this week otherwise. I still have one more conference later this month. I’ll be ending the month in Boston to speak at the DRI Employment and Labor Law Seminar.
In the intervening weeks, I am making a point to rest as much as I can. This week, I plan to work at home a few days. This will leave me some extra time to do the restorative activities that help me recharge. Most certainly, in addition to meditation, this will include cooking, getting outside, exercise, and lots of sleep. If I am lucky, I may find the energy to do some writing, including on my forthcoming novel.
However, you plan to spend the week, I hope it is one that supports your well-being and the wellness of those around you.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Lawyers can learn a lot about mindfulness from reading. I wouldn’t have started this blog if that weren’t true. But there really is no substitute for good conversations when it comes to learning how mindfulness really works. That’s why I am thrilled this week to share the latest podcast interview I did.
Odette Ansell is a lawyer in Canada and she started the Non-Billable Hours Podcast to share wisdom about how lawyers can craft thriving lives. I sat down with her recently to talk about my mindfulness practice and how it has supported my law practice over the years.
I really like the episode and not just because Odette made it fun and let me talk about my next book. What I liked most was that her questions really helped me explain how mindfulness practice works for lawyers. Here are a few of the highlights.
Lawyers Can Start a Mindfulness Practice at One Minute a Day
Most podcast interviews asked me how I got into mindfulness. Because the interviewer for this podcast was another lawyer, she asked me about the details of my practice. In the interview, I shared that I started meditating at one minute a day.
This is absolutely true because it was all I could tolerate at the time. This is also the way I teach mindfulness to other lawyers now. I stress the importance of starting small. In addition, I teach the one-minute method in my first book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer.
The biggest impediment to regular meditation practice for most lawyers, myself included, is lack of time. But in the midst of such business we often assume that small amounts of time don’t make a difference.
As I explain in the podcast, starting small has many advantages. And the reality is that even small practices done over time can change our lives. When it comes to meditation, it definitely changed mine.
How Mindfulness Helps with Anxiety
One of my favorite parts of the interview was when Odette and I talked about mindfulness and anxiety. It took me years to face my own anxiety because I believed for too long in the power of my own thinking.
Many lawyers find themselves in this same problem. We are smart people and thinking solves many problems for us. So, when we get scared about something, it is only logical to use the skill we know so well, right?
Though it was painful for me to see this, I ultimately learned the truth. As I shared on the podcast, anxiety is not something you can really solve with thinking. In fact, sometimes the thinking makes it worse. As I experienced, trying to solve anxiety with thinking just led to unhealthy overthinking.
Instead, what has helped me more is letting myself feel the fear behind the anxiety. Truly this means feeling the physical sensations because emotions often register in the body. Then I can care for the emotions and employ self-compassion. It’s only then that my thinking becomes clearer and more helpful.
Mindfulness and Facing “What If” Questions
Another favorite part of the interview was when Odette asked me about the dreaded “what if” questions that arise for lawyers. She shared a worry about appearing before a strict judge and most lawyers can resonate with that.
The strategy I shared in the interview was to answer the “what if” question instead of fearing it. As I wrote here when I faced anxiety with public speaking, it can help to get super practical about these questions.
Sometimes we ask ourselves these “what if” questions as if it’s game over if one thing goes wrong. That’s almost never true. In truth, we sometimes can entertain these worrisome thoughts and forget that lawyers are trained problem solvers.
As I have written before, it can sometimes help to “quantify the suck.” If I am calm enough to think practically, this means I answer the “what if” questions and think through what I would actually do if the worst happened. When I am practical, this reminds me that I have skills, resilience, and people who can help me if I need it.
Simple Ways for Lawyers to Start Meditation
To end the interview, Odette asked me how lawyers can get started with mindfulness. I shared in the interview that lawyers should not feel like they have to be “true believers” to get started. In fact, skepticism about meditation can sometimes be a blessing when it is held in moderation.
On the other hand, though, if you enjoy meditation practice it is much more likely that you will want to do it consistently. For those lawyers new to meditation practice, it really helps to be easy and gentle with oneself. This can include some time sitting outside on a nice day or even a movement practice like walking meditation.
How to Listen to the Podcast Episode
If you want to listen to the podcast episode, you have several options. You can listen to it here on:
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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After a slow February, the first two weeks of March have been intense at work. This is a common situation for lawyers. Things escalate quickly and we can struggle to keep up. This happened to me this week, which ended with two consecutive twelve-hour days. By Friday, I desperately needed rest.
Luckily for me, I shifted into recovery mode immediately. Years of mindfulness practice and law practice have taught me how to do this. For many lawyers, though, it can be hard. We can struggle to turn off our minds and leave our cases behind.
In this post, I’ll explain why taking advantage of down time is essential and offer some ways to truly rest your body and mind.
Why Lawyers Need to Learn to Rest When We Can
Most people recognize that humans need rest to live happy and healthy lives. At the same time, most lawyers are also experts at setting their personal needs aside to address client needs first. For many lawyers, this can become a never-ending cycle that leaves little room for rest.
In reality, though, if you learn to rest efficiently, you may see that quality rest is not entirely dependent on gobs of free time. While our bodies certainly require a minimum number of hours of sleep, other forms of rest during our waking hours may be more flexible.
This means that we can learn to use found time or small windows of time for rest activities. Now, if my use of the word “rest activity” here sounds odd, I will explain why an activity done to aid rest makes sense below. Because lawyers often don’t have much free time or control our schedules, it makes sense for us to learn to rest when we can.
It’s also true that other things may distract us from our need for recovery. Of course, I am talking here about our phones. But in some situations things like alcohol or shopping or even TV might serve the same function.
Even though these tendencies may be very human, they can do us a disservice because they can keep us from learning to truly rest. In this way, lawyers may have to be intentional about shifting into rest mode. We also may have to be intentional about identifying the activities that help us rest.
Lawyers May Do Best with Options for Rest
On this blog, I share a lot about meditation. For those with some experience with the practice, meditation absolutely can be a wonderful way to rest. Even better, meditation offers us the chance to rest their nervous system while cultivating mindfulness. This trait is essential for modulating and identifying the need to recharge.
After a decade of meditation practice, I have learned that you can’t just demand that your mind stop on a dime. Instead, for me, the mind calms down a lot quicker if I help my body relax. Here are the five most common activities, besides meditation, that can help you rest.
Option 1: Physical Activity
I know that physical activity may not be the first thing to come to mind when you think of rest. But it’s really a good choice when you think about it. Though rest often means a lack of activity, for lawyers physical movement may help us refresh ourselves.
Many lawyers sit in an office in front of a screen or on the phone much of the day. As a result, by the end of the day, our bodies may be screaming for movement rather than sleep. Physical activity is good for our bodies and minds. It also does not always have to be vigorous to be beneficial.
At the end of a long day or work week, some yoga or a light walk outside may be enough to regulate ourselves. In many situations, I find that some physical activity restores my energy rather than depleting it. In addition, it returns focus and attention to the body rather than to purely mental activity.
For all of these reasons, physical activity is a great option for lawyers who need to recover some energy.
Option 2: Get Outside
In the same way, getting outside is another important rest activity for lawyers. When the weather permits, this option can be paired with physical activity. But even without movement, just sitting outside is healing to us.
When we get outside, though, we instantly see that there is a much wider world outside of our minds. I often find that just being outside helps me create some space around my thoughts so they don’t feel so big. This helps me let go a little bit and find some rest and solace.
Option 3: Make Something
I know when you are low on energy, creativity may be the last thing on your mind. Even so, I often turn to it as a means of restoring my energy. Simple crafts, cooking, writing, and even a little bit of housework are restorative for me.
This is why making something, whether it is a craft or a meal, is an important rest activity.
Option 4: Social Connection
One thing about law practice that not enough people talk about: it can be lonely. Yes, lawyers deal with people all day but loneliness is possible in the midst of in person contact.
Assuming this doesn’t come up in options 1 to 4 or those options are not available, you can always just rest by doing something easy, light, and fun. Turn on a stupid movie. Dance to silly music. Blow bubbles. Play with your dog. You can even scroll for a bit if you stick to cute animal videos or their intellectual equivalent.
Clearly this kind of activity is frivolous and it does not serve any useful purpose. That’s the point. I’m not telling you to devote large amounts of time to these kinds of activities. But sometimes short bursts of silliness can help us relax and let go of our troubles for a bit.
Lawyers often deal with serious matters and we usually at risk for taking ourselves too seriously. Sometimes we need to remember that everyone needs a little bit of time to play and joke around. This is one reason that fun is an important thing to remember when you need a rest.
Conclusion: Rest Means More Than Just Doing Nothing
Many lawyers are told that they need to take time for themselves and make time for rest. But not all of us really know what that means. Even though I am a meditation teacher, I think rest can mean more than just doing nothing. instead, lawyers with active minds may have to get intentional about the activities that truly help them recharge. In this post, I shared some activities that renew my energy and I hope they help you renew yours.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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This week, I traveled to a conference out of town. Due to the storms on the east coast, my flight was delayed and stressful. As I scanned my phone trying to find a way to make this situation less awful, I found a new documentary on Netflix that combines my two favorite things: mindfulness and cooking.
I quickly downloaded both episodes of The Philosopher’s Kitchen Jeong Kwan to watch during my flight. It did more than eat up some travel time. It was beautiful, refreshing, and full of reminders that even the busiest of lawyers can appreciate. Consider this post my recommendation for you to watch the show. Here’s why I loved it.
What Is The Philosopher’s Kitchen and Who Is Jeong Kwan?
In case you are unfamiliar, Jeong Kwan is a South Korean Buddhist nun and world-famous chef. She is an icon of Korean Buddhist Temple cuisine. This may sound like a small niche which appeals only to people like me who love mindfulness and cooking in equal measure.
In fact, Jeong Kwan’s skill in the kitchen has been praised for years. She was featured in Season 3 of Netflix’s Chef’s Table and has influenced numerous Michelin Star winning chefs. As you can see in The Philosopher’s Kitchen, Jeong Kwan clearly embodies her values as a Buddhist nun in her cooking.
The meals she prepares are vegetarian, used with local and often foraged ingredients, simple, and crafted with time and close attention. Watching Jeong Kwan work was certainly a nice change of pace for most lawyers. Here are the four mindfulness lessons I learned from the series.
1. Mindfulness and Simplicity
In mindfulness practice, one of the most common teachings you are bound to receive is to keep things simple. Of course, mindfulness practice often shows us lawyers that simplicity is easier said than done.
In our culture and profession, simplicity takes discipline and even courage. We are regularly encouraged to upgrade and increase, rather than scale back and reduce. The thought process underlying this tendency, of course, is that more is better.
Jeong Kwan shows us that this assumption is often wrong. Her dishes are simple in technique and execution. They usually contain only a few ingredients, usually rice, vegetables or tofu and they rely heavily on a small combination of seasonings.
Even so, Jeon Kwan makes food that people relish and enjoy. She demonstrates that food does not have to be complicated to be good and that simplicity allows the beauty of ingredients to shine through. This simple approach is a nice reminder for lawyers who so often deal with complexity.
2. Limits Can Be Blessings
Another thing that stands out is how Jeong Kwan navigates limits. Many lawyers and, most Americans for that matter, don’t like limits. We sometimes see them as burdens or difficulties.
In the culinary world, limits are not always seen as positive either. How often have you seen a menu that boasts about size or quantity? How often have you been tempted by “endless” offerings or a long list of toppings? We all have. But if we are being honest this is not always healthy and it can get old.
In The Philosopher’s Kitchen, Jeong Kwan has many limits. She avoids meat and strives to avoid even killing plants in her dishes. She uses what is in season and available. She also does not use certain staples, such as garlic and onion, which are believed in Temple Cuisine to disturb the mind.
As you can see in the show, though, Jeong Kwan uses her values and training in mindfulness to greet these limits with creativity and a smile. She shows that it is possible to make delicious food with few ingredients if you appreciate each one.
3. Resourcefulness
One of the reasons that Jeong Kwan is able to handle the limits in her kitchen so well is that she is remarkably resourceful. As you would expect for someone living in Korea, Jeong Kwan is a master of fermented food. She is shown making her own soy sauce (ganjang), danjang (fermented soy bean paste), and kimchi.
But even the byproducts of these staples gets put to use. Jeong Kwan grinds the crystals formed in the soy sauce barrels into an umami-laced salt. She dries and then rehydrates greens into a special dish. And during the lean winter months, Jeong Kwan makes heavy use of seaweed to craft a variety of dishes for her temple community.
In mindfulness practice and in the kitchen, I have learned to frequently remind myself that “everything is workable.” Jeong Kwan shows with her cooking how this is really true.
4. Take Your Time
Of course, the biggest difference between Jeong Kwan and lawyers like us is time. As a Buddhist nun, Jeong Kwan’s life is certainly very different from the lives of most lawyers. In fact, the reason she is able to be so creative and skillful with limited ingredients is that she has a huge advantage: time.
But this distinction is not a criticism of the show. To the contrary, this difference may be the biggest reason why lawyers may want to watch it. Lawyers are in general time poor.
The Philosopher’s Kitchen most likely won’t convince you to adopt Buddhist Temple Cuisine at home. But it might encourage you to slow down in the kitchen a little bit and make better use of the time and ingredients you have.
The Philosopher’s Kitchen Is an Enjoyable and Valuable Watch for Lawyers Interested in Mindfulness
Even if you aren’t obsessed with mindfulness and cooking like me, The Philosopher’s Kitchen Jeong Kwan on Netflix is a good watch. It shows a different way of life that many lawyers may enjoy as a nice change of pace. Despite the clear differences between Jeong Kwan’s lifestyle and our own, the show also offers inspiration for small ways we can all incorporate traits from our mindfulness practice into our everyday lives.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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A funny thing happened over the last few years: I wrote a novel. This was never something I had intended to do. As a blogger, of course, I love writing. But as a lawyer, my focus is usually on the facts. I generally didn’t spend my time dreaming up stories.
But then one day, I noticed that I had dreamt up a story. I have a special place in my heart for A Christmas Carol. And I have attended a meditation retreat around the New Year several times. At some point, the two things merged a story about a lawyer who goes on retreat came to mind.
I didn’t quite know what to do with this idea at first or if I would do anything with it at all. Eventually, though, I sat down and let myself write. Then I decided that I liked what I had written well enough to keep working on it. Now, my plan is to publish this little novel by the holidays.
How did I go from nebulous idea to official project? As you may have guessed, mindfulness sure helped. Here are the five ways that mindfulness helped me write my first novel.
1. Mindfulness Helped Me Recognize the Idea.
It’s really hard to recognize a good idea or even be aware that you are having an idea in a crowded mind. Many lawyers try mindfulness with the notion that they will get a clear mind – one with few or at least fewer thoughts. After more than a decade of meditation practice, that hasn’t exactly been my experience.
I don’t feed all the thoughts and give them energy now. This means that I have a lot more mental space. I can see individual thoughts more clearly. This leaves room for wisdom about which ones are significant.
When it comes to ideas, this really matters. New ideas don’t often yell at us and demand our attention. Instead, they often whisper. When the novel started coming to me, it was very subtle. I would get a flash of a scene that might last only a few minutes. After a few weeks, I realized that this was a pattern and I started to take note.
Without clear, nonjudgmental awareness, I would have easily missed these tiny moments of inspiration. Because my mindfulness practice had honed this trait, though, I was able to see it and let the idea emerge.
2. Mindfulness Practice Gave Me the Patience to Let the Novel Emerge.
As you may have noticed by now, this book has taken a long time to unfold. It began coming to me late in 2022 but I didn’t recognize it until the next year. I started writing it early in 2023, but then didn’t finish until the very end of 2024. In 2025, I thought about publishing but then got sidetracked by my hectic law practice and copious speaking engagements. Only now in 2026 did I decide once and for all that I was going to publish the novel.
My point should be obvious by now: writing takes time. You can’t force an idea to emerge. Creativity doesn’t flow when you exert too much control. After years of writing, I have learned that I have to let inspiration guide me. As a practicing lawyer and mom too, I have also learned that I have to pick my battles in terms of creative ventures.
If there is one thing that breath focus meditation will teach you, it is patience. There have been countless times when I wanted to quit meditating when I was tired or bored or just over it. I won’t lie. Sometimes I did quit. But many times, maybe most, I continued on. In the moment I didn’t always know why.
Now, I know why not quitting matters. All those times, I was practicing patience. I was practicing keeping an open heart and a calm mind when things took longer than I preferred. In the moment, I wasn’t sure my effort was worth it, but I am sure now. Patience is an essential trait for a writer and I am glad mindfulness practice helped me cultivate it.
3. Meditation Gave Me Plenty of Experience Dealing with Doubt and Resistance.
If you are anything like me, the odds are that you will have an initial wave of pride after completing a new project. Soon enough, though, it may be followed by a wave of self-doubt and resistance. When I finished writing the novel, I had both.
Normally, I can breeze right through it. But this doubt enlisted a friend: resistance. Do you ever have times when you just put things off? Or stubbornly refuse to do things you know you should? That’s resistance.
It can be a huge impediment to creative pursuits, like writing, and also moving forward in life. My resistance lied to me. It told me that I was too busy to focus on a novel. It worked with my doubt to convince me that nobody would read it anyway and continued effort would be a waste of time.
So, what did I do? Like in my meditation practice, I just kept paying attention. For a while, the doubt and resistance worked and the novel faded into the background. But when things calmed down in my life and law practice again, the novel came back to my mind. I realized that I cared about it enough to face the doubt and deal with the resistance. Because of my mindfulness practice, I knew that I could.
4. Mindfulness Taught Me Trust Myself, an Essential Trait for Writing a Novel.
I have written a few times before that mindfulness practice builds confidence. This isn’t in the brazen or brash kind of way. Instead, I think it comes from really knowing yourself. When you study yourself closely, you learn what works better for you and that helps you face life on your terms.
Writing is a deeply personal thing, even when the story you share is a made up one. Years of writing has helped me slowly build the courage to share my own story in this blog and elsewhere. It’s allowed me to see that I can be okay if nobody reads my writing or if people don’t react as I had hoped.
In part, this is because I often feel pride and joy in the act of writing and sharing itself. And, as a bonus, some people have read my writing and it has helped me make friends and build community.
Make no mistake. When you write, it is intimate and vulnerable. Because mindfulness helped me know myself so well, I developed good instincts about sharing. I learned I could trust myself and trust others too. That trust helped me see the book in terms of possibilities rather than fears.
5. Self-Compassion Helped Me Craft a Plan to Finish and Publish the Novel.
Did I mention that I have never written fiction before? So that means I was writing a novel without knowing how to write a novel. I was an English major in college but I have never so much as taken a creative writing course.
How did I let myself write a novel with no road map? Well, in a word, I used self-compassion, which may be the very best trait derived from my mindfulness practice. Years of writing has taught me that the first draft does not have to be good. Instead, it just needs to be out. I have to allow the messy mind dump so I can see what I have.
When I first read the draft, I needed self-compassion again. Rather than looking at it with an eagle eye, I paid attention to how I felt. I wasn’t looking for plot holes or typos. I was looking to see if I laughed or cried. Fortunately, I did both.
Finally, after languishing for more than a year, my last act of self-compassion was to enlist some help. I asked some friends to beta read the draft. I got some editing help. And I made a plan to get this project done this year. After all, haven’t I written before that success on long-term goals requires adequate support?
Now that I have some support, I have a real plan for publishing the novel in time for the holidays this year.
Mindfulness Helped Me Write My Book. What Could It Help You Do?
Mindfulness practice offers many wonderful benefits, including reduced stress, less rumination, improved health, and better relationships. I experienced all of those things. But when you hear about those benefits, you don’t always understand what it means in terms of a real life. As I shared in this post, all those wonderful traits from my mindfulness practice helped me pursue something I love: writing.
Most recently, it even helped me keep writing when a project I didn’t anticipate or ask for came up. My mindfulness practice helped me write my first novel. Now, I’d love to know, hear about, or see what mindfulness practice helps you do.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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In January, my habit tracker showed nice long streaks for meditation. I was laser focused on starting the year strong and practiced mindfulness each day. Now, it’s halfway through February and my meditation practice is a bit of a mess. What is a lawyer to do?
Well, this lawyer is a mindfulness teacher who has been meditating for over a decade. This is not my first rodeo when it comes to a less than perfect meditation practice.
In case you are wondering, here are the three proven steps I will take to get my meditation practice back on track. I also offer three supports you can consider if you need a little bit more help getting your own habit back in order.
1. Lawyers Are Busy, So Don’t Panic or Beat Yourself Up.
The first thing that many people do when they notice a habit slipping is to beat themselves up. I encourage you to avoid this trap. Yes, meditation is an important practice. Yes, it offers many benefits.
These truths can easily cause high achievers like lawyers take their practices very seriously. And that seriousness can lead to self-criticism and even spiraling when the habit is not easily maintained.
Don’t take the bait. Instead, be practical and realistic. For most lawyers and professionals, it is not realistic to expect perfection with any healthy habit. Instead, it makes more sense to think about what we do most days.
If you criticize yourself every time you miss, that won’t motivate you to get back to practice any more quickly. Instead, it will induce hopelessness and shame. This is why the best thing you can do when you notice your meditation habit slipping is to avoid panic and self-judgment.
2. Identify the Impediment to Meditation Practice
When you can bring some neutrality to the situation, it is possible to next review the situation practically. Looking at things from a place of self-compassion, it is easier to see that most of us don’t skip on healthy habits because we are undisciplined or don’t care.
This might include schedule changes or a hectic period at work. It could also include events in your personal life that create a resistance to practice. Even though meditation can be a great way to process complex emotions or care for yourself, doing so during tough times can be a challenge. Acknowledging this kind of resistance as a human reality may help you work through it.
Ultimately, most people don’t skip meditation because they don’t care about the benefits. Instead, problem-solving the issue from the habit formation level may help you figure get your practice back on track.
3. Come Back to Meditation Practice
In truth, you don’t need the first two steps every time you miss a meditation session or get off track with practice for a few days. Instead, the more efficient route may be to just come back to meditation practice.
This may be the most essential lesson from basic breath practice: you can always begin again. Just like there is always another breath to note, there is always another day to come back to meditation.
You don’t have to apologize or make amends. You just start practicing again the same way you did the very first time. That’s the beauty of meditation. It’s always there for you when you need it even if you have been away from practice for a while.
If you have missed practice for a long time, it may be best to ease back into it. I suggest starting small to give yourself time to rebuild the habit. But you may find that you can increase your time more quickly than you could when you were new to practice. Either way, there is no need to rush because meditation is a practice for life.
In the end, the way to maintain a consistent habit is to not give up on the habit when you miss a day, a week, or longer. The best way to get back on track is to just come back to meditation practice.
But What If The Steps Above Aren’t Enough?
After more than a decade of meditation, I can tell you that sometimes getting back to practice is easy and sometimes it is hard. In the easy cases, the three steps above or just step three alone are enough.
For hard cases, you may need some more support. Sometimes we stop meditating due to massive schedule or life changes, personal loss or difficulty, or even health-related conditions that make practice a challenge.
If you are really struggling to get back to regular meditation despite a desire to do so, you may consider the following three steps to support yourself.
1. If Needed, Reflect on What Meditation Offers to Your Life.
When I need motivation to get my habits back on track, I instinctively look to my intention. If your meditation practice is struggling, one way to help yourself recover is to consider if your intention has changed.
This happens with meditation from time and time and it may not be a bad sign. When I first started meditating, my fundamental aim was dealing with stress. I just wanted to rest and find some relief from all my copious thoughts.
The reality is that most lawyers don’t meditate to get really good at meditation or because we think we will become enlightened. Instead, we do it because we want benefits in our lives outside of meditation.
For this reason, it can help to reflect every so often on the ways that meditation supports your life. Once you are clear about your reasons for practice, it may be easier to bring yourself back to regular practice.
2. If Needed, Get Support from a Meditation Teacher or Community.
If you are struggling with your meditation practice, a great way to refresh it is to get some support. Taking a course, doing a retreat, or finding a meditation group can help you get needed direction. It can also make the practice feel less lonely and more fun.
So, if you practice is struggling, a great way to bring it back it get help from a teacher or a community.
3. If Needed, Here’s a Worksheet to Help You Rework Your Meditation Habit.
For major life or schedule changes, you may also need to rethink how meditation fits into your life. That is something that most lawyers and professionals can expect to do from time to time.
Even subtle schedule changes cause by shifts in family or work obligations can throw wrenches into our normal systems. Instead of thinking of yourself as an undisciplined failure as noted above, it makes more sense to think practically about how the system works.
Conclusion: Meditation Is a Practice for Life, So Lawyers Can Expect Times of Ebb and Flow.
If you meditate for long enough, you are bound to face disruptions with your normal habits. This is a reality that most lawyers and professionals will face as they navigate life and work changes and busy lives. If you meditation practices gets off track, you can use the steps and supports identified in this post to recover.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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As I have written before, the best way to learn about mindfulness is with friends. In a recent podcast, I got to talk about mindfulness with a fellow lawyer and good friend, Jamie Jones. Jamie is the President of the Arkansas Bar Association and I got to know her through a professional association.
As in many interview, Jamie first asked me to trace my history with mindfulness. I explained that I stumbled upon the practice in a time of need after dealing with years of anxiety, overthinking, and depression.
Despite starting very small, at 1 minute a day, mindfulness practice quickly helped me. It not only helped me develop tools for managing stress. It also helped me cultivate self-compassion and ultimately confidence. All of these things helped me move forward in my work and life.
One of my favorite parts was when I explained how mindfulness practice can help lawyers cultivate the skill of dealing with thoughts. So many lawyers focus on the idea that their mind must be clear in meditation.
The real gold of the practice, though, happens when you develop skills for navigating thoughts. During the podcast interview, I explained how this works in practice.
The Most Important Pieces for Lawyers
The reason that this matters for lawyers, of course, is that we don’t want to waste our time. Lawyers have so much on our plates that it can feel really overwhelming or even foolish to try something that might not work.
Sure, mindfulness practice may feel confusing and lonely at first. There are resources and groups to help.
Sure, mindfulness practice can feel sometimes like we aren’t any good at it. I discuss in the interview, though, that being good at meditation is really not the issue. In fact, I explain how even an imperfect meditation practice can do a lot of good.
Try Mindfulness with the Bonus Podcast Episode
Another great thing about the podcast is that I also recorded a bonus meditation. Jamie did not just want to share information about mindfulness with members of the Arkansas Bar, she also wanted them to try it.
When I teach people new to mindfulness practice, I often recommend body scan practice as a great place to start. I do this for several reasons.
As I have written before, body scan is often relaxing and engaging. It is also a great skill for lawyers to cultivate because it can help us avoid being stuck in our minds and thoughts.
In addition, developing familiarity with the body offers many practical benefits. This can include a better awareness of the physical signs of stress, which in turn can engender wisdom about self-care.
For all of these reasons, body scan is a foundational practice and a great place to start for lawyers exploring mindfulness.
Where and How Lawyers Can Listen to the Podcast
To listen to the podcast, you can find it on the ArkBar on Air Podcast website here. You can also find it on your favorite podcast platforms, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Castro, Castbox, and Goodpods.
The interview is found in Episode 8: Mindfulness for Lawyers. This is where you will learn about how to start a mindfulness practice and keep it going. You will also learn about the benefits of mindfulness practice.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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I didn’t get a new post written last week. This time, my schedule is not to blame. I was home due to the massive snowstorm that plowed through my community and much of the United States. Instead, my only excuse was that I struggled to write because I was troubled by the news.
My point here is not to take a position on the events in the news. I do that via appropriate means in other ways. It is important to address the reality that the news cycle recently has been hard on almost all of us. In this post, I will share a mindfulness strategy that has helps me deal with the news: titration.
Two common solutions for lawyers trying to deal with the news.
There are two common forms of mental health advice when it comes to the news cycle. One camp suggests avoidance and self-preservation. The appeal of this school of thought is obvious. The news cycle recently and often in general is filled with violent images and stories of conflict.
Though these stories stir our emotions, they often relate to things outside of our control. This is a recipe for empathic overwhelm. Based on this, some people argue that we should turn off the news, stay off our phones, and focus on self-care.
Others take the opposite view. They tell us that we are scared and concerned for a reason. They urge us to find ways to act, to call our senators, raise our voices, make donations, or even attend meetings or protests.
This path does not offer the respite of the first, but it promises a greater sense of agency in the world. It also offers a use for all of the energy we are bound to feel watching conflict play out on the news. It could even help us feel less alone and more engaged in our community, especially it leads us to in-person experiences.
Can mindfulness offer lawyers a middle path?
As indicated above, there is wisdom in both of the approaches stated above, but there are also downsides. For lawyers, the downside of the self-care route may be that it could inspire guilt. It could also be really hard to actually relax and rest for too long, knowing that turbulence is happening in the world.
The downside of the engagement approach, of course, is that many lawyers may not feel safe to do so. Client opinion or law firm policies may prevent us from engaging with social or political issues as much as lawyers might like. Some lawyers may not have the energy or mental space to even face the news, let alone engage civically or politically in response to it.
Given the pros and cons for each approach, the mindfulness teacher in me reflexively looks for a middle way. After some struggle this weekend, I think I finally found my answer. The issue is not a true dichotomy between self-care and engaging with the world in turbulent times. Instead, it is possible to do both. A practice called “titration” provides a useful model.
The Mindfulness Practice of Titration
Titration is a mindfulness practice that allows us to approach difficult experiences slowly, gradually, and in manageable doses. A very common way of using this strategy in meditation practice is in response to powerful emotions or difficult bodily sensations.
The classical mindfulness directive is to allow the difficult experience to arise and be fully present with it. But for truly powerful emotions or painful sensations, though, this advice can leave us overwhelmed. For people with trauma or other conditions, this advice may be impractical.
Out of self-compassion and wisdom, then, we can instead learn to titrate by noticing small bits of the experience over time. To do this, you might notice the challenging emotion or sensation for a few moments. Instead of simply staying with that difficult experience, though, you would then shift attention to something pleasant or neutral as a means of rest and recovery.
When you feel ready again, you can return attention to the area of difficulty. This strategy is called pendulation, a specific variety of titration, because it helps you take small doses of a difficult experience instead of taking it in all at once.
Titration offers us the ability to face the difficulties of life on our terms. It marries courage with self-kindness. It balances stability with flexibility. It gives us a real strategy for caring for our minds, hearts, and bodies as we engage with a sometimes challenging world.
This means I am allowed to be afraid because I have faith that I can manage it when it arises. If I can be afraid, that means I can do the things in life and work that I need to do. This translates to faith in myself and great confidence for managing my life.
How to apply the concept of titration to a challenging news cycle.
I know it sounds weird to say this, but you can apply titration to the news and world events too. With this practice, you can take the wisdom of the people advocating rest and self-care and combine it with the necessity of engaged citizenship.
With this approach, you do not have to shield yourself entirely from the news during difficult times. You can scroll social media, listen to or watch the news for the purpose of obtaining information. As you do, though, it is best to monitor yourself for how the news is affecting you.
Another strategy that I like is to take some small but productive action in response to what I see on the news. I may make a donation, research ways to offer help, or find ways to support a worthy cause. Then after I have done my part, I let go of the issue and turn my attention elsewhere.
Given how engrossing TV news and social media can be, it may be wise to schedule breaks or plan activities to avoid overwhelming yourself. This may mean scheduling time with other people, getting outside, or just leaving your phone out of arm’s reach.
Conclusion
There is never a lack of challenging information waiting for us on the news and social media. When times are particularly difficult, it can be tempting for lawyers and other professionals to take an all or nothing approach. We can either be sucked in by the neverending news cycle, which may lead to overwhelm. Or we can be tempted to check out in the pursuit of self-preservation.
This post is not intended to tell you how you should respond to the social and political issues you see on the news. Instead, it explains one strategy, titration, that may provide a way to balance self-care and engaged citizenship as we face turbulent times.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Sometimes other lawyers tell me that they are interested in trying meditation but they are skeptical. With this question, people are suggesting that their doubts get in the way of trying the practice.
I get why these questions arise. Lawyers tend to be a skeptical bunch. We don’t like to waste our time. If we try something, we want o have some assurances that it will be worth it.
In reality, though, skepticism is not a true impediment to meditation practice. It actually supports it. Here are a few reasons why.
Skepticism Defined.
Before I explain why skepticism can support a meditation practice, it’s important to define what I mean. When I talk about skepticism here, I am talking about a state of being unsure or having doubts.
This is different from certainty or having one’s mind made up. Clearly, if someone truly believed that meditation would not be helpful to them, that would be an impediment to practice. In that case, you would expect that the person would be very unlikely to try meditation. Even if they did, they would not be interested in looking at it clearly.
Skepticism, on the other hand, is not certainty. Instead, it is a state of having doubts, being unsure, or being confused. Most lawyers do not enjoy states like these, but they are actually really useful for meditators.
Why Skepticism Can Be Good for Meditation
Most lawyers even remotely interested in meditation have probably heard the term “beginner’s mind.” This term, made most famous by the Zen teacher and author of the seminal book, Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind, generally refers to looking at things with fresh eyes (paid link).
This sounds beautiful and alluring and it is often what attracts many people to meditation. But let’s be real. How often do you exhibit beginner’s mind in ordinary life? How often do you see things with truly fresh eyes?
Most of us do not. In fact, this is one reason that new meditators are often instructed to “get curious” about their mundane life experiences. Curiosity is the state where we stop assuming we know and we look deeper.
Skepticism Encourages Curiosity
This is where skepticism can actually come in handy. I said earlier that lawyers are skeptical people. And why is that? Well, in part it is because we are used to drilling down deeply into the facts and evidence. We do this because we often need a good grasp of the facts before we can help our clients.
Lawyers don’t often think of it this way, but that skill is curiosity. As we go digging into the facts, we have an open mind as we search for the truth.
This same skill can and ideally should come into play with meditation. Let’s say that you are unsure that meditation will work for you. How could you actually answer that question for yourself?
Well, you might become an amateur scientist and set up your own little meditation experiment. You’d give meditation a try, try to make it as enjoyable as possible, and pay extra close attention to how it affected you. Why would you be able to pay close attention? Because you aren’t sure about something but want to get some answers.
An Example for Lawyers from Real Life
I know you think that this is just hooey that a meditation teacher would tell you to try to get you to meditate. But in truth, skeptical is exactly how I was when I started meditating. As I have written before, I did not start meditation with certainty that it would do any good.
Instead, I started meditation out of desperation. I was a young associate and a new mom with a two-week trial coming up. I was so busy I could not see straight. I was also exhausted because my daughter was still not sleeping through the night.
I was filled with anxiety, constantly overthinking and exhausted. I first started mediating in one-minute sessions because it was all I could handle. I didn’t start practicing because I knew it would help. I started meditating because nothing else had.
As I learned to sit for longer periods of time, I was looking with an eagle eye for any signs that it didn’t help. I didn’t find them. Instead, what I found was a reduction in the physical signs of stress, less overthinking, and a practice that I could rely on when life was hard.
Experts Also Say Skepticism Can Support Meditation
Okay, I get it. I’m talking to skeptics here. Perhaps anecdotal evidence is not enough to convince you. In that case, my closing argument is that the masters of meditation say that skepticism can support meditation.
I mentioned the Zen school of meditation already. This school is famous for using states like confusion and bewilderment to achieve the beginner’s mind mentioned above. Why would confusion ever be useful in meditation? Of course, it is because we look closer and get more curious when we are confused.
If we keep skepticism from hardening into a misguided variety of certainty, it can work the same way. In truth, skepticism truly is a variety of confusion. We are often skeptical about things that we don’t fully understand. When we get curious and look closer, that’s how we can build understanding.
This is why Jon Kabit-Zinn, the founder of mindfulness-based stress reduction, wrote in Full Catastrophe Living that skepticism is a good trait for new meditators (paid link). Kabat-Zinn is a researcher of mindfulness who has worked with thousands of new meditators over the decades. And he says that skepticism is no impediment to meditation practice. Instead, he says it can help.
Conclusion: You Can Stay Skeptical
So what does this mean for you? First, it means that there is nothing wrong with being skeptical about meditation. It’s human, normal, and arguably healthy. Second, it also means that meditation and skepticism are not incompatible. Lawyers don’t have to become true believers before they explore mindfulness. Instead, being less than totally convinced might actually be better. Third, if you are interested in meditation but are still skeptical, there is one good way to resolve your confusion. Give meditation a good faith effort, pay close attention, and see what happens.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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It’s the beginning of a new year, so lawyers may be thinking about new years goals and resolutions. For many people, this might include the goal of exploring mindfulness or starting a meditation practice.
If this is your intention for the year, I think it’s a great one. But all of us know that noble intentions in January sometimes fade by February. How can you start a meditation practice in January that has the hope of lasting the year and beyond?
That’s why I wrote this piece. In this post, I will share some tips intended to help you explore meditation and turn it into a real practice.
Establish Meditation as a Habit
My first advice for lawyers exploring meditation is to start small. That isn’t only because it’s kinder to yourself. It’s also much easier to do something repeatedly if it takes less time.
The biggest problem many lawyers and professional have with meditation is finding the time to practice. Given this, it is essential to not overwhelm yourself at the beginning.
I started my meditation practice over a decade ago at 1 minute per day because that is all I could handle. Though I was quickly able to add minutes on as the days went by, this small increment of time meant I had very few excuses to skip practice.
This meant that I quickly established a habit of meditating every day. If you want the benefits of meditation, making the practice regular is important. To do this, start with short sessions but aim for regular, ideally daily, practice. If you need any more help on brainstorming meditation as a habit, download this free worksheet.
Focus on Building Skills Instead of Being “Perfect” at Meditation
Now, you may be worried that even if you make meditation a habit, you still don’t know what you are doing. So you may be worried about doing the practice wrong or wasting your time.
Of course, no lawyer wants to waste their time. But the mistakes in meditation are often the best teachers. Meditation is not a thought exercise. It is an experiential practice. You learn how to do the practice by meditating.
At the beginning, then, the object is not to be perfect but instead to cultivate some basic skills. These include the following:
Patience with yourself;
Focus (including which focal point works for you);
Learning what calms and soothes you;
Connecting with bodily sensations;
Noticing when you are thinking;
Redirecting attention; and
Self-kindness.
Don’t Expect to See Quick Progress in Meditation
Many lawyers start a meditation practice because they want the benefits they have read about in research studies. They want to feel less stress, they want to be able to focus on demand, and they want more happiness and kindness.
Then they sit down in meditation and they feel stressed because they can’t focus. They feel tired and bored. Their feet fall asleep, their knees and back hurt. All of this is bound to make any reasonable lawyer think the practice doesn’t work.
This means that you should give yourself some time (four to eight weeks) before you look for any benefits to emerge. And if those benefits emerge, they probably will show up outside of meditation first. These might include things like rushing less, a reduction in the physical signs of stress, or less reactivity.
Though benefits very likely will emerge with consistent meditation practice, be cautious about your expectations. Don’t expect immediate results and look for the benefits in life first before they show up in meditation practice.
Keep Your Practice Simple
One of the problems that knowledge seekers like lawyers may encounter at first is that they can’t decide which mindfulness practice to explore. The list of skills mentioned above may suggest that you must master all forms of meditation in order to gain benefits. Allow me to set the record straight.
While it is great to explore a variety of practices, ultimately simplicity is ideal. Keeping your practice simple will reduce decision fatigue. This means that there is less chance that your actual practice time will be delayed or derailed by too many planning questions.
Over the years, I have done a variety of practices with and without guiding. Eventually, though, I settled into a simple routine that consists mostly of breath focus practice, open awareness, and loving-kindness. I generally don’t do formal body scan practices, but I enjoy them on occasion if I have a special need to relax or calm my body.
Based on this, it is great to explore and shop around with practices at first. After a few days or weeks, though, it is best to settle on the practice that allows you to relax and focus the most. This will allow you time to build proficiency with the practice, so that you can experience benefits and build confidence.
As the months and years go on, you can always adjust your practice. In fact, you may need to do so to address specific issues like increased stress, sleepiness or spacing out, or just to refresh your practice.
Don’t Go It Alone
I offer my last bit of advice with a strong sense of humility. When I started meditating, I practiced totally on my own. I had no teacher or community and at first hid my practice from my family.
It was not until years later that I realized the error in this approach. When I attended my first retreat, I was amazed at how supportive it was to meditate with other people. I couldn’t believe how helpful a few minutes of chatting with a teacher was.
Though many lawyers pride ourselves for our independence, we do best when we remember that humans are social animals. When we humans want to make real habit change, social support is the way to go. If you want to make meditation a lasting part of your life, finding a teacher or community should be a priority.
Now, as I said above, time is often a challenge for lawyers. I am no stranger to this. To be sure, meditation can be learned and practiced on your own and you should not feel ashamed at all about that. If, however, you have any options to meditate in a group, learned from a trained mindfulness teacher, or go on retreat, it will support your practice.
For anyone in the legal profession looking for such a community, the Mindfulness in Law Society provides a highly accessible option.
Conclusion
These are my tips for starting a meditation practice in the new year. They are offered to help busy people like lawyers be kind to themselves while forming a habit that can last. Regardless of the goals you set, I wish you luck in the new year and hope you find whatever practices support you and your community best.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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