Letter from the Future: Lessons from 300 Blog Posts

Editor’s Note: I’m proud to celebrate 300 posts this week, but I’m also finalizing the edits on my new book. I was at a loss about how to recognize the occasion, so I researched some of my old posts. When I reached the 10-year anniversary of my mindfulness practice, I wrote this post with a letter from my future self. It made me proud to read it and I decided to write another. This letter is written to myself back in December 2020 when I launched the blog. Please enjoy and if you are thinking of starting writing and need a pep talk please reach out to me!

Dear Claire,

This is you from the future again. I know I wrote you a few years ago. I found that letter again recently and liked it so much that I decided to write a new one. Sorry if this is annoying. I promise I won’t start texting you or messaging you on LinkedIn.

Instead, I’ll keep my messages restricted to milestone moments. You have another one this week. You hit 300 posts on this blog! Can you believe it?

How Did 300 Blog Posts Happen?

I bet you can’t. I know when you started this blog in 2020 you weren’t sure what would happen. You didn’t know much about blogging. You just liked writing and and mindfulness and needed a a place to put your words.

Remember how you used to worry that you were making a big mistake by starting a blog? You were always so worried that you would run out of time or ideas.

Way back when, even before the blog, do you remember how you worried about whether you could write one blog post a month? For the last six years, you have been writing almost 1 post every week. And you have written and edited books along the way too?

You Managed the Blog Week by Week

It’s pretty amazing what can happen when we let it. Isn’t it?

I hope that I’m not making your head spin by talking about 300 blog posts. I know you are new to this whole blogging thing and taking it week by week. Claire, I want you to know that is exactly how you should take it.

Your schedule, like the schedules of other lawyers, is irregular. It can change on a dime. It will change wildly as you go through two job changes, raise kids, and become a popular speaker.

The blog may seem hard to manage now at the beginning, but just wait until you have even more things to manage. But don’t be scared. I’m not trying to warn you here. Instead, I’m saying that you will grow.

Writing Became a Calling

Writing isn’t a chore for you. It’s not a job. It’s something that is a part of you. Or at least eventually it will become that way. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and use an arguably cheesy term here. Writing for you is a calling.

For many years, Claire, you refused that call. You doubted yourself, and told yourself you were too busy. You believed the lie that, as a lawyer, you were only allowed to bill hours. Or you fell prey to the related lie that any free time should be devoted exclusively to your children.

But somehow, you pushed through all that crap. Somehow you saw the truth that those lies swirling in your head were just doubt. They were the same doubts you’d had your whole life.

Blogging Became an Essential Practice

I won’t lie to you. This blog does not make those doubts go away. I actually just wrote a post about doubt last week. It’s still alive and well. But you know what? You have learned that writing a blog post is a great way to work through big emotions.

In addition, Claire, you should know that the doubt arose because you are editing your first novel. Yes, you wrote a novel or at least a fable about mindfulness. This means that doubt keeps arising because you continue to take risks and try new things.

How were you able to try writing fiction, which was very new to you? You were able to do that because you haven’t just been training the skill of writing all these years. Instead, you have been training discipline, self-confidence, and listening to your inner voice.

Quote that says "Thank you for reading" to celebrate writing 300 blog posts about mindfulness for lawyers

Just Keep Writing, Even When It’s Hard

I know that this blog is still new to you, Claire. I know you aren’t sure where it’s headed. I’m writing to tell you it’s headed in a good direction. You just have to keep writing.

Will it be easy? Absolutely not. You will write many – if not most – of the posts last minute. You will lack motivation and inspiration some weeks and sometimes feel like you are just going through the motions. Some weeks, you will skip writing a post because you just can’t deal with it. Sometimes it will feel pretty lonely.

But of course, you know that’s okay. You have already learned how to get off track and came back, over and over again, with your meditation practice. So don’t stress when that happens. Don’t worry that the magic you found in writing will somehow leave you.

Instead, you’ll take breaks. You’ll live life for a while. And the ideas will come back when you are ready. And you will have so much fun.

Blog Posts Can Lead to Good Things

You’ll also meet people through your writing. People will find you on the internet and reach out to chat. You will make friends by showing up as yourself in your posts. You will also discover the writing will make networking and marketing your law practice so much easier.

Claire, let’s be honest, I can’t tell you that the blog will make you famous. I can’t say it will make you rich. I don’t promise that it will always be fun and you’ll never wonder if it’s too much work.

But I can say one thing with absolute confidence. People don’t do something 300 times because they get nothing out of it. They do a thing 300 times for a reason. You kept writing post after post because it was good for you. You kept writing because it brought you joy.

I know you probably feel unsure now at the beginning. It’s okay to feel unsure. It’s no big deal if you don’t have a clear plan. Just keep writing.

Thank you for trusting yourself and the rest of the world for starting this blog. Thanks for taking the time to build something new. It’s been a fun ride over these years. I can’t wait to see how many more we get!

With gratitude, Your Future Self

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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How to Manage Doubt: Mindfulness Tips for Lawyers

As a mindfulness teacher, writer, and lawyer, I am no stranger to doubt. I used to regard it with fear and loathing. Now, I see it as my faithful friend. No matter what I do and how much I meditate, I can’t make doubt give up on me.

While that is oddly comforting in a way, it’s also super annoying. Even worse, this mental pattern of mine likes to show up at the worst possible times. If I am doing anything remotely challenging, new, or courageous, doubt chimes in at strategic moments to throw me off balance.

I’m currently working on finalizing the manuscript for my first work of fiction that I plan to publish later this year. Right on schedule, I had an attack of self-doubt this weekend.

Knowing that I am not alone with this mental habit and that my fellow lawyers share this trait, I will share the steps that I took to address my self-doubt attack.

Recognize When Doubt Arises.

Many of us know that naming emotions is really helpful. It can provide needed distance and clarity about our experience. This can help us avoid over-identifying with our fleeting emotional experiences.

This is essential for doubt. One problem with this state of mind is that it isn’t simple. Instead, doubt is a often a complex combination of emotions and thoughts. The emotions can distract, dis-empower, and stun us, while the thoughts pretend to the be the voice of reason.

As I have written before, though, doubt is a mental pattern that can rob us of motivation and courage when we need it most. This is why seeing doubt for what it is – as a mental pattern – can really help.

This may require patience to allow for sufficient time for self-investigation. However, I have come to learn that the feelings of fear, vulnerability, and overwhelm plus a series of despairing and negative thoughts are the calling cards of doubt for me. Another strong sign is that they usually show up when I about to do something meaningful, challenging, or innovative.

When I can name this melange of suckiness as doubt, I take the first step towards recovery. Though this doesn’t feel good, at least my guard is up and I know it’s time to fight back.

Image listing the 5 mindfulness tips to help lawyers handle doubt as shared in the blog post

Lawyers May Need a Self-Care Check.

Though I’m a lawyer, I’m still a mindfulness teacher. So when I say “fight back” I use that term metaphorically. As a younger and more foolish person, my doubt would sometimes prompt me to pick fights or argue to discharge the energy created by my fear.

My older, wiser self has learned that the better way to fight doubt is to disarm it. Instead of racing to discharge the fearful energy, I put it to good use by taking care of myself.

One of the most essential steps when it comes to doubt is to do a basic audit of my self-care needs. From experience, I know that doubt comes up for me when I feel overwhelmed, afraid, tired, or isolated. Most often this happens for practical reasons.

If I am working on a big project, I may not be sleeping well. I may also be skimping on social contact. Or I may be striving in pursuit of a goal and wearing myself out.

Returning to the basics of my self-care practices, including good nutrition, rest, exercise, and social support, helps put me in a better position to face whatever challenges come up in life. They also remind me that support and care, rather than force and pressure, are the best ways to achieve the goals I set for myself.

Don’t Face Doubt Alone.

If doubt were a person, it’s ride or die best friend would be shame. These two emotional besties have worked a number on me over the years. As an introvert who loves to overthink, they kept me on the ropes until I learned a tried and true strategy for driving a wedge between them.

That strategy is asking for help. Look, I know that lawyers and other professionals may hate doing this. As competent and highly skilled people, we may see ourselves as helpers. We may feel awkward and terrible when we have to “burden” someone else with our problems.

But here’s the thing. It’s hard to challenge doubt on your own. It’s even harder when shame jumps in and make you feel like you have to hide your feelings of vulnerability. One of the only ways to cut through this is to stop hiding by asking for help.

The biggest shift I have made to get over my attacks of self-doubt is that I now share my feelings with a friend, colleague or loved one. In the past, I used to try to deal with these emotions all on my own. Though meditation is a formidable tool, social support works better and faster.

Image sharing quote from the post which says "If doubt were a person, it's ride or die best friend would be shame. Drive a wedge between these emotional besties by getting help."

Engage Mindfulness and Allow Your Feelings.

Once you feel ready to face them, it also helps to just feel the feelings that come up with doubt. I suggest this after getting social support because these feelings can be overwhelming, but you can decide what works best for you.

Sometimes with doubt, there can be an inclination to ignore it or push it to the side. As I mentioned, these feelings can be dis-empowering and vulnerable. It can seem like they are getting in the way of our goals and the vision we have for our lives.

Even so, I have found it worthwhile to honor my feelings even when they are inconvenient and annoying. The most common way I do this is in my meditation practice where I have time and space to let the emotions rise, crescendo and fade away. Though this experience is often intense and unpleasant, I find that allowing them as they are inspires courage.

When I give myself a moment to feel fear, face anxiety, and wade through overwhelm, I remember that I am strong enough to hold all of these things. I also remember that none of these emotions last forever and that I can find calm, stability, and kindness again. Once I experience them and let them deliver whatever message they have for me, I can move on with my life.

Return to Your Place of Strength.

Another benefit of feeling emotions, even the tough ones, is that they help to clarify what matters most. As someone with anxiety, feelings of fear are common for me. I used to be afraid of these feelings until I finally flipped them on their head.

One magical day, I realized that a lot of my fear and anxiety was a confused way of expressing deep longing. I was often afraid of being alone or being judged, which signified my desire for connection. I was regularly anxious about making a mistake, which revealed my deep desire to produce good in the world and avoid harming others.

When I was able to feel the fear, I could finally see what was hiding beneath it. The things hiding there were my deepest values and the things I wanted most in life. These things didn’t make the fear and doubt go away, but they made my struggle worth it.

In other words, when doubt comes up, the answer isn’t to banish it away. The answer is not to pretend that it isn’t there. Instead, it works better to acknowledge that risk is inherent to life and connect with the values that make the risk feel worthwhile.

By reconnecting with our values and deep aspirations, we can find strength, motivation, and courage even in the face of doubt.

Picture of post author, mindfulness teacher, and lawyer Claire E. Parsons with quote "When I was able to feel the doubt, I could finally see what was hiding beneath it. The things hiding there were my deepest values and what I wanted most in life. This didn't make the fear and doubt go away, but they made my struggle worth it."

Doubt Is Challenging But Mindfulness Can Help You Face It.

Doubt is a common affliction for many lawyers and professionals, but it does not have to be something that holds you back. With mindfulness and self-compassion, you can learn how to recognize and care for yourself in the face of doubt. Doing so takes time, patience, and is best with social support. The good news is that it may also help you harness the strength, confidence, and motivation you need to keep pursuing goals and building the life you want.

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Why Lawyers Should Prioritize Joy and Practices to Help Them Start

I admit it. The word “joy” used to make me cringe a little bit inside. For a while, it was plastered on the walls of so many homes along with signs reading “Live. Laugh. Love.” and showed up in the titles of countless self-help books.

The frequency with which I saw that term used, often inaccurately, gave me the distinct and bizarre impression that “joy” was somehow omnipresent, yet also mythical and unattainable. After all, how could conflict, unhappiness, and social problems be so prevalent when everyone seemed hellbent on praising joy?

Don’t Let the Misuse of the Word Fool You. Joy Is Powerful.

More recently, though, I have come around to the “joy” camp. The transition had nothing to do with all those signs and books. Instead, it happened when I started to study suffering and the response to it. When I learned about compassion practices and saw their impact in my life, I realized something I had previously overlooked: joy is powerful.

The overuse of the word had made joy seem frivolous and meaningless, but when I feel it—especially in response to suffering—it is nothing short of magic. Joy has a potential to connect us in good times and to bind us, to ourselves and others, in hard times.

Image of celebrating professionals with quote that says "Joy has the potential to connect us in good times and to bind us, to ourselves and others, in hard times."

Joy Is More than an Emotion.

Many of us may think that joy is an emotion that simply arises without warning and lasts only a moment. This is true but also incomplete. We can cultivate joy and in so doing, cultivate compassion and a greater sense of well-being. For many of us, joy may seem like a temporary and elusive state because we aren’t accustomed to staying present with the experience of strong emotions.

Regardless of the type, emotions are sensory experiences in the body. Even positive emotions like joy can feel uncomfortable, if not overwhelming, so we may unconsciously register them as stress that induces a mental flight reaction. For this reason, many of us may need to learn to sit with and savor even positive emotions.

Joy Can Be a Practice and Meditation Can Help.

This is just one of the reasons why meditation practice can be so powerful, because it may provide a rare opportunity to experience emotions in the body.

Whether in meditation or otherwise, sensing emotions as they are cultivates a capacity to accept the true and full experience of life. This can mean greater courage to accept the hard parts of life, as well as welcoming in those joyful emotions that provide a respite from our struggles and energize us to keep going.

As a result, savoring the good aspects of life and taking the time to celebrate can be some of the most powerful things that lawyers can do to improve our mental health for the long-term.

Image with quote from post that says: Savoring the good aspects of life and taking the time to celebrate can be some of the most powerful things that lawyers can do to improve our mental health for the long-term."

Why Lawyers Should Learn to Savor Joy.

Despite this, many lawyers and other professionals may worry that savoring victories and positive experiences may lead to resting on one’s laurels, apathy, or cause a reduction in drive. Leading self-compassion researcher, Kristin Neff, has found that, while this is a common fear, it isn’t true.

Self-compassion is not an impediment to a good work ethic; it is positively correlated with attainment of goals. Far from causing people to lack ambition, self-compassion practices, including savoring joy, result in higher motivation, more courage in taking risks, and increased stamina to persist through difficulty.

Simple Ways to Savor Joy.

Some simple ways to savor joy in life are to remind yourself to mentally “check in” during a good time. Notice what you hear, feel, taste, smell, and see and notice what that experience causes you to feel in your body. For instance, if you are playing with your kids, hear them laugh, see them smile, and notice what reaction those things elicit in you.

You can also be on the lookout for joy in your daily activities. One of my favorite savoring activities is to watch the kids run to the parents at daycare pickup time. Watching their love and excitement turns what might have been wasted time into a joy break for myself and it prepares me to greet my own kids with love.

Image showing that self-compassion practices, including savoring joy, are linked to increased motivation,courage, and persistence,

Lawyers Can Even Savor and Share Joy at Work.

In the work setting, one simple way to savor experiences is to acknowledge a win and congratulate your team. When the praise is directed to you, you could practice savoring joy by learning to simply say “thank you” when you receive a compliment and allowing the warm feelings just wash over you, instead of deflecting or talking to hide your embarrassment. If you struggle with paying or giving compliments, a simpler place is to establish a habit of internally congratulating yourself for a job well done.

For example, after a difficult deposition, you might reflect on how you handled yourself and appreciate the discipline, organization, and restraint you showed in hard circumstances. These practices generally don’t take much time, but research suggests that the cumulative effect over time can yield major benefits for your motivation, outlook, stamina, and capacity to handle difficult moments.

Prioritizing Joy Makes Life Better.

So, does this mean that I am telling you to go put a big “joy” sign on your wall? Not quite, unless hanging a sign like that reminds you to cultivate joy in your own life. The object here isn’t the performance of joy or convincing others that you feel joyful. Instead, the power of joy comes in when we fully experience it and prioritize it in our lives.

Because when we open to joy, in all its overwhelming glory, we’ll find courage, energy, and strength care for our families and ourselves, serve clients, and make more joy for the rest of the world. So, I don’t care if you put a big “joy” sign on your wall, as a long as you make space for it in your heart.

Image with quote: "The power of joy comes in when we fully experience it and prioritize it in our lives."

Here’s a Guided Meditation to Help Lawyers Practice Joy

If you want to experience the power of practicing joy for yourself, check out this new guided meditation. This ten-minute guided meditation walks lawyers (and anyone else who wants to try it) through the process of noting and experiencing joy in the body. The first reason to do this practice is that joy feels good. It may be a great way to rest and relax.

In addition, though, lawyers may find this practice beneficial for other reasons. First, as a practice that trains sustained attention in a directed way, it is a practice that cultivates mindfulness. Second, the practice is also likely to cultivate wisdom. It’s hard to do this practice and not have insights about what causes joy for you, so you can get more of it in your life.

You can check out the meditation here or find it on my YouTube channel:

Are There Other Ways for Lawyers to Practice Joy in Meditation?

The answer to this is a definite “yes.” The direct experience of joy in the practice shared above is one way to cultivate it. Other options include:

Embedding a joy practice into your normal meditation session as offered in this guided practice;
Practicing and reflecting on gratitude;
Cultivating mudita or appreciative joy for other people. This may sound weird but the best way to increase your odds of happiness is to learn to feel happy for others.
Practicing joy by showing it on your face with this smile meditation.

There are so many ways for lawyers to bring more joy into life and meditation. Try them all out to see which one you enjoy the most.

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Five Reasons to Stop Judging Yourself for Using Guided Meditations

Image of woman meditating with headphones on in a living room with title of post "Five Reasons to Stop Judging Yourself for Using Guided Meditations"

When I speak to lawyers about mindfulness, I’m sometimes asked about guided meditations. I’m not sure why, but some people have the idea that using guided meditation is somehow not “real” meditation. Allow me to set the record straight: that’s not true.

At least, I don’t think it’s true. Don’t get me wrong. There are advantages to meditating without guiding. I have written about that before. But the fact that unguided meditation offers benefits does not imply that guided meditation is somehow not enough.

If you are giving yourself a hard time about this, keep reading. Here are five reasons why guided meditation is a valid way for lawyers to practice meditation.

1. Guided Meditations Can Help You Explore and Learn Various Practices

I don’t rely on guiding too much in my personal practice anymore, but as a beginner I used them as much as I could. The reason for this was that I did not have very much experience with different practices. And even when I found practices that I loved, like loving-kindness, I hadn’t memorized all of the steps.

After a few years, that changed but only because I had used been practicing so much in recorded mindfulness sessions. That’s my point here.

Guided meditations can help lawyers explore and learn various meditation practices. While I do recommend a simple approach to meditation in general, exploration is great for lawyers too.

Mindfulness is a trait and a tool for life. The best way to figure out what styles and practices support you the most is to experience them. Guided meditations offer this to lawyers and other professionals who want to learn.

2. They Can Help You Keep Your Session on Schedule

One of the biggest issues that prevent lawyers from meditating more is time. A great thing about most guided meditations is that they have built-in timers. Most recorded practices cue you when you are done, so you don’t overstay your session.

This is a real issue with meditation because it is a practice that can encourage spacing out or falling asleep. Because most lawyers access guiding in the form of audio recordings, the end of the practice will usually wake you up.

Some apps, including Peloton, also allow you to put your practice on your calendar. You can select your practices for the week and schedule them so you don’t miss a sit. This is huge for lawyers, who are often motivated by our calendars.

Image of person meditating with headphones on listing 5 Reasons Why Guided Meditations Are Great for Lawyers as discussed in the post

3. Guided Meditations Can Make Practice More Enjoyable

The best kind of meditation is the one that you will do consistently. Based on this, it makes sense to enjoy your time meditating at least a little bit.

Guided meditations can do this in several ways. They may offer background music or soundscapes that can block out distracting sounds. This is important if you live in a noisy part of town or with people or pets who don’t always keep quiet.

The voice of another person guiding you make make practice feel less lonely. Along the same lines, the voice of another person may be soothing and help you relax. If you use meditations from someone you know and trust, following their guiding may help you feel more confident in your practice.

This may help you rest in your practice instead of feeling like you are working too hard. Meditation is hard enough on its own. Using guiding to make it a bit easier is not a cop out. It can be a smart way for lawyers to sustain their practice.

4. Lawyers May Need Practice Accepting Support

If you don’t like the idea of guiding in meditation, it could be possible that you have some issues around accepting help. This is common for many lawyers and it was definitely an issue for me.

The good news, though, is that you can learn to work out of this mindset. Independence is a wonderful virtue. If you are exploring mindfulness, though, I bet you already have this trait. Meditation will not take it away, but it may help you see the various ways in which you do better when you have the right support.

A guided meditation is a tool to support mindfulness practice. It works just like a mat, block, and blanket support a yoga practice. If you use props for yoga or another physical fitness practice, you are likely to see that they don’t detract from practice. Instead, they often make practice better.

Trust me, learning this lesson in meditation is one that translates into life. This is yet another reason why lawyers can feel good about using guiding to support their mindfulness practice.

Image of man meditating outside in headphones with social media post that says "Lawyers, avoid coming up with reasons why your mindfulness practice is not good enough. Using a guided meditation is real meditation."

5. Trained Teachers Offer Guided Meditations for a Reason

As a final attempt to convince you that there is nothing wrong with supporting your practice with guiding, I will appeal to authority. If you take a meditation course or attend a retreat, you are very unlikely to practice in silence on your own the entire time. Instead, most teachers offer some sort of guided meditation.

If you search the internet, you will easily find guided meditations from some of the best meditation teachers in the world. This includes people like Sharon Salzberg, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Thich Nhat Hahn, Pema Chodron, Ethan Nichtern, and more.

Along the same lines, I offer several guided meditations for lawyers on this blog. And I guide virtual sessions for lawyers with the Mindfulness in Law Society at least once a month.

Trained teachers offer these practices because they encourage students to practice and learn. Implicit in this is the idea that using guided meditations is still meditation.

Bottom Line: There Is Nothing Wrong with Using a Guided Meditation

If you are taking the time to practice mindfulness, please do not be hard on yourself. Be wary against listing all the reasons why your practice is not good enough. Practice is hard enough, especially for busy people like lawyers.

As long as the guiding is helping you practice, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just keep practicing and doing what works for you. You can always explore other styles of practice over time if needed, but you shouldn’t feel pressure to do so. Using guided meditations is a legitimate way for lawyers and everyone else to practice mindfulness.

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How Lawyers Can Practice Body Scan Meditation

It’s been a while since I recorded a new guided meditation for lawyers, but I just recorded a new body scan practice. I like doing them. It’s just been busy with other projects lately, including editing my upcoming book.

This week, though, I am pleased to be offering an introduction to mindfulness course for my law firm. This course will track the practices taught in my first book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer. Week 2 of the course for lawyers and legal professionals will be about body scan meditation.

As I will explain in this post, there are numerous ways to do body scan meditation. I prepared a new guided meditation to offer a different option: one that starts in the bottom of the body and moves up. This post will share the new practice, as well as explain its advantages and potential risks for some populations.

What Is Body Scan?

As I have written before, body scan meditation is the practice of systematically scanning through the body to feel sensations. This is not a practice of thinking about the body or its parts. Instead, the practice is to intentionally direct your attention to sense the body.

To many, it may seem only natural to start a body scan from the top of the body and work your way down. After all, many lawyers live in our heads so that is often a great place to start.

The point of doing this practice is to build awareness of and familiarity with sensations in the body. This is essential for several reasons. One is that our emotions often register as sensations in our bodies. Another is that body awareness can help us to remember that there is life outside of the thoughts in our head.

Finally, learning to linger in sensations in the body, is an important way to cultivate mindfulness as a trait. Bodily sensations offer us a direct and tangible link to our present moment reality.

Image sharing 5 ways that lawyers can try body scan meditation as shared in the blog post

Options for Practice

Because body scan meditation is about feeling sensations in the body, there are multiple ways to do the practice. This can include but is not limited to:

Top down: head to toe;
Bottom up: toe to head;
Sides of the body: left and then right or vice versa;
Categories of body parts: limbs, torso, head, etc.:
Cycling approach: jumping from one part of the body to another; or
Varieties of sensation in the body: examples include temperature, pressure, space, relaxation.

In addition, these practices can be further modified and customized by adding different techniques. Some body scan practices might be quick, including a simple check in with body sensations. Other body scans might be lengthy and lingering, including deep exploration of bodily sensations.

Finally, it is also possible to add movement or pressure to body scan to foster awareness of sensation or relaxation. Progressive muscle relaxation is commonly paired with body scan. With this strategy, you may tense and relax muscles as you move through each body part. As another option, some people move their hands to rest on the bodily areas to help themselves feel sensations more strongly.

Advantages of Bottom Up Body Scan for Lawyers

Many lawyers would hear these options for body scan and ask which meditation style is the best. My answer, as always, is that the real question is which one is best for you. The only way to truly know this is to explore different practice styles and learn which one supports you most.

This is why I recorded a bottom up body scan guided meditation to allow for another option to try. The reason to explore this practice is that it can provide a faster route to relaxation. Many lawyers, myself included, are often stuck in our heads. We think a lot and habitually live in our thoughts as a result.

Starting a body scan at your toes or feet may help you feel relaxed and grounded more quickly. It also may help draw your mind out of your thoughts and into your body faster.

In my normal sitting practice, I tend to use a top down approach to body scan as a matter of habit. However, if I struggle with sleeplessness, I more often start a body scan in my toes. It often helps me relax, remember how good it feels just to lie down, and avoid thinking so I can get back to sleep.

Image with warning that says "Bottom up body scan may offer advantages for many lawyers but it can present risks for those very new to meditation, with severe anxiety, or past trauma."

Warnings and Potential Risks

Importantly, though, there are some potential risks for any mindfulness practices that draw you quickly into your body. Because emotions register in the body, a faster connection to the body can imply the potential for overwhelm. For this reason, some people may struggle with starting a body scan meditation at their toes and may do better with a top down approach.

This includes people who are very new to meditation, people who have severe anxiety, or anyone with a history of trauma. If that is you, it does not mean that meditation or body scan is off limits. Instead, it may mean that a top down approach may be preferred or that you should consult a healthcare provider or trained teacher first.

The real question with any mindfulness practice is whether you can feel safe, supported, and alert so that you can do the practice. If this is true for you, then bottom up body scan meditation is one to try.

Where to Try the Bottom Up Body Scan Meditation

You can try the Bottom Up Body Scan Guided Meditation on the Brilliant Legal Mind YouTube channel here:

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Laughing Through Meditation: Lessons from Josh Johnson

I have always been a big fan of stand-up comedy and recently this world has collided with my love of mindfulness. It’s now becoming common for comics to talk about meditation in their sets. Most of the time, I can turn my meditation teacher brain off for long enough to get a good laugh out of them.

But when one of my favorite comics, Josh Johnson, took on meditation I couldn’t resist writing about it. I’m a huge fan of Josh Johnson. I’ve seen his tour, watched his comedy special on HBO, and love his appearances on the Daily Show. Johnson is an excellent storyteller and can make you laugh at the tiniest things.

Recently, my husband sent me one of Johnson’s short clips where he talks about trying meditation. It’s quick and hilarious. You should watch it just to laugh. The other good news is that Johnson’s bit points to several very real struggles in meditation practice.

For those of you who want to laugh and learn, this post walks through Josh Johnson’s two-minute clip on meditation. Then it offers teachings to address the problems he mentions.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up When Your Mind Wanders in Meditation

Johnson starts off his bit by correctly mentioning the teaching that you should avoid beating yourself up when your mind wanders from the breath. Of course, he exaggerates the teaching for comic effect. He says that “you should not, you cannot” beat yourself up when your mind wanders.

In reality, this teaching is offered because it is common for people to berate themselves when their minds wander in meditation. It happens to all of us. For this reason, the teaching is not a prohibition like Johnson implies. Rather, it is a guidepost and an invitation to learn self-compassion.

Stated in a more precise way, the teaching really is that meditation is much easier and more effective when you have a kind inner attitude. If you notice yourself getting upset or engaging self-criticism, that’s okay. There is no need to feel like a failure or criticize that. Instead, the answer is just to recognize that you are doing something hard and go back to the breath.

Image with quote that says "meditation pro tips: don't try too hard. Don't expect a clear mind."

Don’t Expect to Have a “Calm Mind”

About 25 seconds into the clip, Johnson correctly describes the practice of bringing one’s attention back to the breath repeatedly during meditation. But he ends it by saying that the goal or the expected end result is a “calm mind.”

Johnson is doing comedy here, so he doesn’t explain what he means by a “calm mind.” If you watch on, though, you can tell that he is equating a calm mind to a clear mind. Stated more directly, this means a non-thinking mind.

In fact, this is not necessarily the goal of meditation.

Some traditions may make this the goal and some teachers even talk about “clear minds” on occasion. For many teachers and traditions (myself included), though, meditation is not about removing thoughts. It does not make thoughts magically disappear and they are not off limits during practice.

Instead, the goal is making peace with thoughts, getting clarity about them, and creating wisdom around them.

Don’t Try Too Hard When You Meditate

With this foundation laid, Johnson dramatically declares that he’s “Going to try to meditate.” He closes his eyes and assumes a stern posture to show how serious he is about it.

Again, this is clearly for comic effect. Even so, it raises a really important point. Johnson is suggesting that good meditation is about being super serious. He’s suggesting that it’s fundamentally about discipline.

If you watch, pause the clip at about 37 seconds and take a look at it. You can see Johnson sitting with his eyes closed tight, appearing like he is trying to force himself to concentrate. Aside from the comic value, this is how a lot of lawyers think meditation is supposed to look.

As I have written before, relaxation, play, and even joy are better approaches. Why? Because you will focus best and learn the most when you are relaxed instead of trying too hard. Discipline matters insofar as you do the practice. But, once you do, ease up, relax, and crack a smile.

Image with quote about meditation that says "Focusing on the breath is not the same as thinking about the breath."

Lotus Pose Is Not Required in Meditation

Next, Johnson attempts the hilarious and impressive feat of demonstrating getting himself into lotus pose while sitting on a stool. This is for laughs and to show how awkward he felt forcing himself this pose for meditation.

Johnson quickly notes, though, that he struggles because he’s not as flexible as he used to be. Then he says his leg fell asleep. Anyone who has meditated for even a few minutes has had these same struggles.

Here’s the truth: meditation can happen in almost any posture. Using a cushion or sitting with legs crossed can be great, but they aren’t required. You can meditate in a chair or you can do so standing or lying down or even walking. Any posture works as long as you feel safe, relaxed, supported, and can stay alert.

In addition, you are allowed to move when you meditate. If your leg falls asleep, the classic teaching is to just notice it. But if it is distracting or uncomfortable enough to really bother you, you are allowed to move. It’s truly okay.

Focusing on the Breath Is Not Thinking about the Breath

Johnson next hilariously showcases a subtle misunderstanding of the directions for breath focus practice. Once he gets himself into position, he says that the object is to “just think about your breath.” He exaggerates this by saying you should “hold onto the ideas of your breath; that’s how you stay present!”

Some teachers and traditions may differ on this, but meditation is not thinking about the breath. Instead, breath focus meditation is about keeping one’s attention with the breath. I teach this to mean feeling the physical sensations of the breath. Other ways of practice also include noting the cycles or parts of the breath.

Thinking about the breath is different than feeling the breath and observing its aspects. When you think about the breath, your awareness is principally in the mind. But when you feel sensations of the breath, your awareness is in the body.

As Johnson comically demonstrates, this distinction matters a lot. All of his thinking about the breath leads inevitably to a long train of thoughts about everything but his breath. This is why it makes a difference to know what your anchor is in meditation. If you know the anchor very precisely, it is easier to stay with and return to your anchor.

Image with quote that says "You probably aren’t doing meditation wrong. The practice is hard. Struggles may be signs you are doing it right. You just might need some support."

What to Do When You See that Your Mind Wandered

Perhaps the funniest part of the clip is when Johnson demonstrates his wandering mind. He goes off on a tangent for about a minute sharing his anxiety about world events. As you can hear, the audience immediately gets it. This is a very relatable thing.

Mind wandering is exactly what you can expect to experience if you try meditation. When you start to notice it, it can be just as hilarious as the mental rant Johnson shared in his clip.

And he announces in dramatic form at the two-minute mark of the clip, “I wandered.” Of course, this is a comedic reckoning. Johnson uses it to show that his pursuit of a calm mind was futile all along and to laugh at himself.

Here’s the thing: the moment where you notice the mind wandering is not a failure. It doesn’t mean you are doing the practice wrong. It means you are doing the practice right because you have seen that your mind is wandering.

In that moment, Johnson woke up from his anxious mental rant. He stopped it. That’s a good thing and a powerful thing once it becomes a trait. The problem was, he didn’t stay with the practice and return to his breath. He judged (in hilarious fashion) the mental pattern. The teaching, of course, is just being kind and going back to the breath.

You Probably Aren’t Doing Meditation Wrong

Of course, Johnson doesn’t do that, at least not in the clip. Instead, he says that “I went ahead and I stopped meditating.” Over the laughter of the audience, he explains that he at least stopped for the time being “Because I was doing it wrong.”

As mentioned above, I think Johnson should give himself more credit. For one thing, his joke make me and lots of other people laugh. In addition, I think he was doing meditation just fine. I don’t think he was truly doing the practice wrong. Instead, as mentioned above, he may have had some expectations about practice that made him think he was doing it wrong.

In addition, the truth is that meditation is not an easy practice to sustain. It’s a simple practice to learn, but it can be hard to sustain. This is because it forces us to confront uncomfortable thoughts and sensations for extended periods of time. For these reasons, struggles in meditation don’t mean you are doing it wrong or it doesn’t work. Struggles can sometimes indicate the opposite.

You Can Always Try Again Later

Johnson says he may try meditation again in the future. Of course, trying again is the only way to learn the practice and see what works best for you.

Because all the struggles Johnson pointed to are common issues, here are a few tips that may make meditation practice a bit easier if you ever decide to start or start again:

Start small;
Make your practice enjoyable;
Find a community;
Find a teacher; and
Consider finding some resources or taking a course.

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Can Lawyers Be Convinced that Laziness Does Not Exist?

You can’t ignore a book with a title like Laziness Does Not Exist. It’s bold. Many lawyers might argue that it’s controversial. As soon as I heard it, I knew I had to read it.

Most of you probably aren’t surprised that a mindfulness teacher was interested in a book about laziness. After all, I encourage other lawyers to spend more time doing nothing in this blog on a weekly basis.

But, of course, idleness is not something we lawyers take to easily. As I will share in this review, I loved Laziness Does Not Exist (“LDNE”) by Devon Price because it helps us unpack why we dislike and fear laziness so much. (paid link) It also offers sound practices for gradually unwinding our individual and societal issues around laziness.

Keep reading to learn more about why I liked the book so much and what it may offer to you.

The Book Offers Deep Insights for Lawyers who May Fear Laziness.

Despite it’s seemingly simple title, LDNE is more than an argument about the nonexistence of laziness. Instead, it’s more of a conversation about our cultural and individual feelings about work and effort. It posits that a collection of values around work and productivity have congealed into “the laziness lie.”

These assumptions, asserting that passivity is bad and activity is good, often manipulate us all into a pattern of overwork. As a mindfulness practitioner and teacher, I was already attuned to many red flags of this nature. For instance, I understand that rest is essential and not a reward for good behavior. I have written many times before about the connection between overwork, exhaustion, and striving for perfection. And I have even talked about the idea that doing nothing can sometimes be a power move.

Even so, as I read LDNE, I was repeatedly impressed by how much Price offered deep insights on these subjects. He didn’t skim the surface by making a generic plea for us to appreciate the importance of self-care. Instead, he went deep in explaining how laziness got such a bad rap in our culture. Then he invites each of us to explore how our own fear of being regarded as lazy causes each of us to overwork, whether at work, with our personal habits, or even in our relationships.

In various ways, the book is full of insights. It reframes fundamental issues that will change your mind, whether you start off believing in laziness or not.

Image of question that asks lawyers how often do you call yourself or someone else lazy?

It Also Shares Useful Tips to Help Lawyers to Set Boundaries.

More significantly, the insights in LDNE weren’t offered just to produce “aha” moments. Instead, they are intended to help each of us give ourselves a break. LDNE does this by offering a variety of useful strategies and practices to get oneself out of the grind created by the laziness lie.

Most relevant to lawyers, these include tips and strategies for managing one’s work day and work life. For instance, it explained that small breaks at work can actually boost productivity.Th

Quite correctly, though, the tips are not just restricted to work. In this age of political polarization and upheaval, I found the chapters four and five to be the most useful. In these chapters, Price discussed the traps we can set for ourselves when we get too invested in world and political events or when we try to maximize our achievement even in our leisure time.

I found these chapters useful because I have struggled with both of these things. Despite my busy and stressful law practice, I have still found it a challenge to not take on every social cause as my personal mission. It also can be tough for lawyers to turn our competitive and goal-oriented personas from work when he get home.

This can cause us to track and document on social media every activity in our lives to the point where we leave ourselves no place to rest. It was helpful that the chapters both offered permission and practical strategies to gradually find more ease with these life activities.

A summary of the book review shared in this article of Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price

Encourages compassion and understanding for yourself and others

Perhaps my favorite thing about LDNE is that the overall mission of the book is one that encourages greater compassion and understanding for oneself and others. In the end, the big message that you may get from reading LDNE is that calling someone, including yourself, lazy is often the result of failing to look closely or clearly at a situation.

Price encourages us all to stop reflexively calling ourselves or others lazy when we struggle. Instead, he asks us to look more closely to understand what may be causing the problem. In many situations doing so may help us identify a very logical reason why effort, work, and motivation are a challenge.

But I also appreciated that LDNE also addressed the reality that many of us, especially lawyers, tend to criticize ourselves more than anyone else for alleged laziness. Though I would not call LDNE a self-help book, it does offer some helpful strategies in this regard. It wisely discussed the value of meditation, simply feeling one’s feelings, and even writing about one’s experiences as helpful ways of confronting our own personal hang-ups and self-judgments when it comes to laziness.

Laziness Does Not Exist Is a Good Read for Lawyers

Overall, Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price is an easy to read, insightful, and well-structured book that will change your mind. It will help you identify the ways that worries about laziness come up in your own life and work. It may help you develop strategies to work a little less in ways that aren’t consistent with your values. But the end goal isn’t lazy at all. It is courage to look more clearly at the world, yourself, and other people so that you can act with greater kindness and compassion.

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Upcoming Lawyer Events for Mindfulness and Compassion

I’m relaxing on family vacation this week, but I realized I have two great events coming up next week. Lawyers interested in mindfulness and attorney well-being may like to hear about them. In fact, both events are raising money for good causes so I hope you will check them out.

This post will share details about each of the events and provide the details for how lawyers can register and participate.

Will Work for Food

The first event coming up next week ticks all the boxes. It covers an interesting topic, it’s aimed lawyers, and it is for a good cause. Will Work for Food – the New Possibilities Hour is an initiative of my friend, Jean Lawler and other dispute resolution professionals. Jean is a great lawyer but she spends much of her time mediating cases now.

She started Will Work for Food with friends to educate people about the mediation process and raise money for charity in the process. To do this, she brings in experts from various fields to talk and teach about an issue that comes up in mediation.

The Topic: Anger in Conflict Resolution

Jean and her friends saw my past working and writing on anger management and asked me to talk about that. Anger is definitely something that can get in the way at mediation. For that reason, Jean and I will talk about how mindfulness can help us manage it and even harness the energy of anger for good.

This session will be an interview about anger, and how it shows up in law practice and conflict resolution. We’ll also discuss what mindfulness offers in terms of anger management and why it’s a whole lot more than a few breathing strategies. Instead, you might be surprised to learn that anger may have some hidden benefits.

Why Lawyers Should Watch

It is free to watch and participate in this session, but Will Work for Food encourages everyone watching to donate to food banks. As a big fan of cooking myself, I elected to support the humanitarian work of renowned Chef, Jose Andres, at World Central Kitchen.

I like World Central Kitchen because it sends food and volunteers to where it is needed most urgently around the world. WCK goes to locations hit by natural disasters, war and conflict, and even disease.

Of course, my episode will only be a drop in the bucket in addressing hunger on a worldwide basis. But Will Work for Food has already raised over $1 Million since it started in 2020. Join us to be a part of that impact.

When and How Lawyers Can Join or Watch

The live event is online on June 25th at 8 AM PST / 11 PM EST. You can find register for the event on Zoom or watch live on LinkedIn. If you join live, you can engage and ask questions in the comments or chat.

If you wish to catch the interview later, you can find the recording on LinkedIn or view it on the Will Work for Food website.

Thriving in Law Summit

This Summit is organized by lawyer and coach, Gina Steele. It is a 4-day Virtual Online Event designed specifically for legal professionals looking to transform their practice and their lives. Have you ever looked at a conference schedule that looked great but you didn’t have the time to attend?

This event is different. It boasts an array of wonderful speakers on a range of topics relating to lawyer well-being. But it gives you the flexibility to decide when and how to watch. Topics include mindfulness, compasion, communication, time management, and more.

The Topic: Compassion for Lawyers

My session is entitled “Becoming a Badass Lawyer: How Self-Compassion and Compassion Towards Others Helps Lawyers Succeed and Thrive.” In this one-hour interview, Gina asks me to break down how and why lawyers should cultivate compassion for self and others.

We discuss the impediments to compassion that are inherent to law practice, but also strategies and practices for removing those blockages. I also share studies and stories that help lawyers see that greater compassion and less stress are real possibilities for them.

Why Lawyers Should Register

This Summit is intended for lawyers who want to:

energize their law practice;
learn new ways to manage stress;
optimize their workday; and
be inspired.

Like the event above, the Thriving in Law Sumit is also supporting a good cause. Our society faces a critical gap in access to justice. For many underserved and marginalized communities, competent legal representation is out of reach. Lincoln Law School is working to close this gap by transforming determined, hardworking adults into practice-ready, ethical advocates. Those who donate to Lincoln Law School will have access to the Summit videos for a year.

When and How Lawyers Can Watch

The Summit runs from June 25-28, 2026. Each day, all scheduled interviews will be available at 9:00 am PDT/12:00 pm EDT and will remain available until the end of day June 30, 2026. You can register through Gina’s website here and get access to all the videos next week.

This means that you can watch the videos on your own time in a way that fits your schedule.

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Why Lawyers Should Keep Meditation Simple

Keeping things simple is not always easy for lawyers to do. We often like to learn all the things and know all the tricks. When it comes to meditation, I had this problem at first too.

I was so astounded that meditation helped me manage overthinking and anxiety that I had to figure out why. Part of that meant learning about all the mindfulness practices I could to try to put the puzzle pieces together.

This kind of exploration is not bad, but at the end of the day it did not change my daily meditation practice much. After more than a decade, my daily mindfulness routine looks a lot like it did at the beginning.

As I have learned, this is a good thing. Keeping your practice simple is one of the best ways to make it last and to get benefits from meditation. Here are few reasons why.

A Simple Meditation Practice Reduces Decision Fatigue

As I have written before, my practice is truly very simple because I usually sit in silence. At first, I used guided meditations, so I am not shaming it if you do. The reason I quit, though, was that I got sick of trying to find a meditation for practice every day.

This blog illustrates that there are tons of modalities to use to make up a mindfulness practice. But, if you had to pick a practice every day, actual practice might get derailed by decision fatigue.

This is a real concern for lawyers. We rely on discernment every day to help clients make decisions. Delayed gratification is built in our jobs. If our rest time also requires the use of the same mental faculties, it may not really feel like rest.

This is why keeping things simple is essential for mindfulness practice. Once we adopt a single practice or a set regimen, we don’t have to decide. All we have to do is the mindfulness practice itself.

Image of social media post with quote that says "Decision fatigue is a real concern for lawyers. Avoid this by keeping your meditation practice simple. Do the same routine every day and there’s no decision to make. All you have to do is the practice."

Keeping Mindfulness Simple Supports Relaxation without Effort

Another advantage of a simple approach to meditation is that it makes relaxation much easier. If you do the same practice most days, you will more quickly come to associate the practice with calm.

For example, if you do breath focus practice every day, your mind and body will eventually adjust. You may notice that you quickly, and nearly automatically, relax. This may help you enter the meditative state with more ease.

As I have written before, finding enjoyment in your meditation practice is important. Many lawyers think meditation is about discipline and to some degree this is true. But if meditation is mostly discipline, it will be harder to do.

Most lawyers try meditation to manage stress and build happier lives. To that end, it makes sense to build a practice that supports as much relaxation and rest time as possible. This is why keeping your practice siple is important. It lets you spend more time in relaxation and spend less time trying to relax.

A Simple Meditation Practice Builds True Mastery

Meditation is not only good for lawyers because it is a practice we can do that can help us calm down. The most beneficial aspect of mindfulness comes when we don’t have to rely on a practice. By that, I mean meditation can actually help you go take mindfulness from practice to trait.

While there are many ways to practice mindfulness, most of us know that different practices may lead to different results. In this way, spreading your time thin across many different practices may result in a shallow understanding of any one practice.

Picking one or just a few practices when you meditate gives you the chance to go deep. It allows you to build mastery in skills in a way that a more eclectic practice does not. This is because you get more time and more practice repetitions to build experience and wisdom.

Image with mindfulness tip shared in the blog post that says "Doing the same practice or set of practices consistently supports effortless relaxation and calm. Don’t work too hard in meditation. Keep it simple."

You Can Explore Other Mindfulness Practices as Needed Over Time

Now, if your mind is screaming that monogamy in meditation practice is boring or leaves too little room for exploration, calm down. Keeping your meditation practice simple does not mean that it can never change.

Remember that meditation is a practice for life. Ideally this means that you will practice mindfulness for many years, including up to the rest of your life. Having meditated for over a decade, I can say that exploration and shifts in practice are essential.

You can keep your mindfulness practice fresh by trying new things. This is why I have used and teach everything from body scan to loving-kindness to open awareness on this blog. In addition, new challenges in life often emerge that may affect our practice. For instance, if health reasons cause sitting meditation to be a struggle, we might want to try walking meditation or yoga instead.

Even after shifting my practices many times over the years to account for changes in myself or my life, simplicity has been the one constant for me. I have tried and will keep trying all the practices out there. But at the end of the day, I know I can always come back to my simple practice of focusing on my breath or just sitting and letting things arise and fade away.

Exploration is a wonderful way to learn about mindfulness but it is also wonderful to have a stable and consistent practice that feels like home.

Image sharing quote discussed in post that says "Meditation is a practice for life. There will be time to explore and try new things. Most days, it’s best to keep it simple."

Conclusion: Keep Meditation Simple

In short, if you want a strong meditation practice, it is not necessary to have an elaborate one. It is not necessary to know every mindfulness practice there is. It is not even necessary to find the “best” possible style of meditation.

Instead, what works best for lawyers with busy schedules and too many decisions to make at work, is to find the best practice for you. That means the practice that you want to return to day after day. In general, that means a simple practice which includes one or a select few mindfulness practices built into a daily or near daily routine.

Keeping your meditation practice simple won’t make it boring. It will invite relaxation with less effort, build true mastery, and let you spend your time cultivating mindfulness instead of debating what practice to use.

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Cultivating Equanimity: A Lawyer’s Guide to Feedback

I have had a few encounters with feedback recently. Most lawyers (and most people for that matter) have a love-hate relationship with feedback. We know we need it to learn and grow, but actually hearing it can be a double-edge sword.

When an appraisal is positive, we may feel proud and feel validated. But when the assessment is middling to negative, we can feel deflated, defeated, and hurt.

Can mindfulness help lawyers navigate receiving feedback? You bet. This post will explain how and offer some steps to help you implement it for yourself.

Feedback and The Eight Worldly Winds

Feedback seems like a fact of modern life. Even if you aren’t looking for a rating of yourself, you may find it by doing the most basic things. Most lawyers have LinkedIn profiles that allow others to recommend them. If you avoid LinkedIn, you probably still use some social media that allows people to rate how they like your posts or comments.

This constant evaluation can be troubling for sure, but it isn’t new. In fact, humans have always rated, judged, and reacted to each other. If you doubt me, you might consider the Buddhist teachings on the eight worldly winds.

These include:

Praise and blame
Gain and loss
Pleasure and pain
Success and failure

Of course, these are the manifestations of impermanence in everyday life. Good things come and go and so do bad things. Nothing lasts forever, they each blow around us, much like the wind.

Cultivating Equanimity Helps

To say that these things are “like the wind” is not to suggest that we can simply ignore them. Sure, we may not notice when a gentle breeze rolls by, but any of us can get knocked or slowed down by a storm or hefty gust.

And that’s the point of the teaching of the eight worldly winds: we can’t control them but we can learn how to live with them. The way to live with these worldly winds of life is equanimity. For more on this as applied to giving and receiving feedback, check out the book Confidence by Ethan Nichtern.

Equanimity is a trait that implies relative stability and calm amidst changing circumstances. It does not mean apathy or numbness. Instead, it means acceptance and skillful navigation through pleasant, neutral, and difficult situations.

Part of the skill here, though, can be hard but essential to learn. That part is clinging or resistance. Most people, including us lawyers, usually cling to the pleasant things but resist the bad things.

Image listing 4 mindful steps
to help lawyers accept feedback with equanimity as shared in the blog post

Why Feedback Is Hard for Lawyers

This is where feedback can be challenging. Even though many of us claim to be above such things, most lawyers care deeply about our reputations and social status. There is good reason for this too. Our reputations matter to the success of our law practices and can even affect our ability to serve our clients.

As a result, it is only natural that lawyers would crave, cling to and strive for positive ratings of our performance or character. On the other hand, we will also dislike, actively avoid, and resist negative evaluations. Or we may try to block all these feelings and live with a buried sense of imposter syndrome.

Given this, it may sound unattainable that any lawyer could ever bring a sense of equanimity to getting feedback. But the truth is that we can build this trait, just like we can build the traits of mindfulness and compassion.

Steps for Responding to Feedback with Equanimity

As I have written before, meditation practice goes a long way in cultivating the trait of equanimity. Every time you bring your wandering mind back to the breath or pause before scratching an itch, you are building patience. In each tiny moment like this, you are creating equanimity by choosing to not react in a huge way to every issue that comes along.

Even so, some types of feedback may require a bit more attention and skill. After years of meditation, I am the first to say that feedback still can get to me. All of us may need a framework to help us navigate reviews, ratings and assessments of ourselves with kindness and skill. Here are the steps that help me.

1. Don’t Argue or Gush

Because feedback is so likely to activate our egos, one of the easiest ways to get stuck with it is by arguing with or wallowing in it. Negative ratings may push us to argue the facts underlying it or challenge the intent or credibility of the reviewer. Positive ratings may have the opposite effect, causing us to obsess and puff up the meaning or importance of the assessment.

This is why one of the best ways to promote equanimity and your own sanity is to just receive the feedback for exactly what it is. Don’t add on to it or try to diminish it unfairly. As much as you can, just hear it or see it for what it is.

2. Allow Your Feelings

Of course, receiving feedback is bound to produce feelings. Equanimity does not mean blocking or resisting your feelings. Far from it. True equanimity means accepting your feelings for what they are. That means giving yourself the time and space you need to allow your feelings without doing violence to yourself or others.

That means you can feel hurt or angry or defensive when you receive a negative rating. It also means you are allowed to feel happy, grateful, and proud when someone praises you or your performance.

The important thing to understand, though, is that these feelings, like all feelings, are temporary. Let them come and let them go and recognize that no amount of good or bad feedback will make any feelings last forever.

Image with quote from blog post that says "Mindfulness is not a magic pill that can make the worldly winds of life go away. But with time and practice, it may help you cultivate equanimity an essential trait for navigating ups and downs in life and work."

3. Keep Perspective

Another thing that makes feedback challenging is that we don’t always request or consent to it. To make things worse, much of the feedback we receive may be offered thoughtlessly or unskillfully.

As I mentioned, lawyers may be subject to many kinds of feedback that are brief, perfunctory, and casual. Even when an evaluation is more thorough and well thought out, it still remains a singular data point rather than a final referendum on our character. One of the ways that we can help ourselves not get hooked with every rating or review is to keep them in perspective.

Primarily, I do this by putting it in a context by considering the following factors:

Was the feedback relevant, timely, and offered with good intent?
Did I explicitly or implicitly request the assessment?
Did the review provide useful and practical information or did it appear to rate me as a person?
Was the assessment consistent with other assessments I have received or was it an outlier?
Would I provide feedback like the rating I received to someone whose growth and development mattered to me?

This is a rough outline of questions that help me put feedback in perspective. More “yes” answers to these questions suggest feedback that deserves more of my attention. If I answer most or all of the questions in the negative, that is a strong sign I just need to move on and let go.

4. Learn What You Can and Move On

Even though they can challenge us, evaluations from others really can help us learn and grow. In truth, not everyone will tell you what they really think. This is why, most of the time, feedback can be valuable even if we have to take it with a large grain of salt.

For this reason, the last step before moving on is take whatever lessons you can from the evaluation. With skillfully offered feedback that you have requested, this may be easy. You may get practical ideas about how to adjust or improve.

For ratings that are more generic or less skillful, the lesson may be as simple as slow down, choose your words carefully, or you can’t please everyone. In short, if there is a message in the feedback that you need to hear, take it, reflect on it, and then move on.

Conclusion

In the end, there is no secret recipe for being unbothered and unaffected when lawyers get feedback. That’s because mindfulness practice is not about checking out on life, but being more present in it. All of us are wired to crave praise and resist and reject blame. We want people to like us and think well of us and we don’t want them to tell us negative information about ourselves or our performance.

Mindfulness is not a magic pill that can make the worldly winds of life go away. But with time and practice, it may help you cultivate equanimity an essential trait for navigating ups and downs in life and work. By using the steps offered in this post, I hope you can bring equanimity to your next encounter with feedback.

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