Sometimes I have to remind myself that big projects come down to completing a million tiny steps. As I have shared before, I am working on a new book. It’s my first novel. My update is that I have finally settled on a title.
I will share that at the end to keep you in suspense. But for now, I am taking a moment to celebrate the milestone. The writing of this book has been much slower, and in some ways harder, than my first book. I keep finding that I need ways to motivate myself.
A Novel Is Written in a Series of Small Steps
So, today I am sharing a post about the importance of small steps. This is something that you would expect a mindfulness teacher to say. A meditation practice starts with a single breath. If you get off track, I teach that you just need to bring yourself back.
This same approach has been serving me well with this book. It took me over two years to write it and I had to keep letting the story come out, paragraph by paragraph.
I finally decided to publish the book earlier this year at a time when my law practice did not feel so busy. By the time that plan was up and running, so were all my cases. This means that I have had to literally find some stolen moments to do a Zoom call with my coach, read the feedback from beta readers, or fill out the form for my book cover.
Life Gets in the Way but I Keep on Writing
The good news is that this is very much like meditation. I keep getting distracted by other things in life and having to drag my attention back, even if only for a few moments.
Of course, this is hard and frustrating. Even though I love writing and enjoy learning about writing fiction, I’d be lying if I pretended there wasn’t a little voice of doubt that asked “what if you just quit? Would anyone care?”
Instead, I use it as an opportunity to recommit by answering the questions that doubt asks me. What if I just quit? Well, of course, the world would not end. Most other people would not notice or would be too polite to say anything. But I would know. I would care. I would be sad that I didn’t finish the project.
And so I keep looking for an extra few minutes here and there. I have committed myself again to finalizing the editing this summer so I can publish by the end of the year. It is sometimes hard to make myself take each of the tiny steps.
Milestones Build Momentum for Writing Success
Even so, the milestones are racking up. I am starting to see a clearer vision of how this book will come together. Now I have a title, a foreword, the beginnings of a cover, and some good feedback to guide my editing. Even more significantly, I also have some friends, a coach, and an editor to cheer me on and answer my questions when I am stuck.
By the end of this year, you will be able to read my second book called A New Year’s Present. It is a mindfulness fable for lawyers inspired by A Christmas Carol. I can’t wait to to see how it turns out and I hope you can’t wait to read it.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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I am a trial lawyer who writes but also a writer who tries cases. Which profession takes top billing turns on the day and hour. While law is my day job and literature my nighttime pursuit, the longer I toil at both jobs, the more I appreciate how they complement each other, rather than conflict.
My decades as a federal prosecutor and white-collar defense lawyer have made me a better writer. Likewise, the thousands of hours spent writing and rewriting have turned me into a better lawyer.
How Law Practice and Fiction Writing Came Together
The first hint of the synergy came in law school, when a professor noted that 99 percent of being a lawyer was picking the right word at the right time. That describes 100 percent of what makes a good writer.
Nowhere does my legal work lean more heavily on my writing style than in crafting a closing argument to a jury. The key is to remain clear, concise, and compelling.
Before every closing argument, I reread Elmore Leonard’s rules of writing, especially his golden rule: “When you write, try to leave out all the parts that readers skip.” In preparing a jury argument, I delete the parts that will cause a juror’s eyes to glaze over.
Jury argument mirrors the writing process. There is a sad but true saying that there are always three jury closings. There’s the argument a lawyer prepares; the one he delivers; and the one he wishes he had given.
About the New Novel
Chasing the Chameleon, which was published last week, is my third book in the Cash McCahill series and my fifth book to be published. By now, I have learned the hard lesson that each work is always three books: the novel I envisioned, the one I wrote, and the one I wished I had written.
Lawyers who write on the side are perhaps the fastest growing minority in the country. At any writers’ conference or book festival, a person can’t throw a hardback without hitting a writer-attorney. Every attorney I know is either writing a book or aspiring to do so, and there is no shame in that.
Inspiration for Lawyers Who Write
In my Mount Rushmore of attorney-authors are four titans who have scaled the heights of both professions: Sir John Mortimer, Scott Turow, John Grisham, and Erle Stanley Gardner.
Like barrister-author Sir John Mortimer and his enduring fictional creation Horace Rumpole, I was privileged to read law at Oxford. Mortimer enjoyed a distinguished career at the bar, occasionally defending authors and artists facing criminal charges of obscenity. He wrote more than fifty books and scripts but is remembered best for Rumpole, the rumpled, resilient barrister who practiced his trade at the Old Bailey in London.
The older I get, the fonder I grow of Rumpole the curmudgeon. His inner voice during witty but doomed arguments with his wife Hilda (“She Who Must Be Obeyed”) and pompous judges are priceless. There is nobility in his dogged efforts to defend the downtrodden.
Some Lawyers Truly Write What They Know
I later attended Harvard Law School during the tenure of Scott Turow, whose nonfiction book One L was published during my law school years. Turow went on to write thirteen fiction works, the most famous being his first novel: Presumed Innocent. No one is better at portraying the vicissitudes of a criminal trial and the tinderbox of emotions unleashed in the courthouse.
While I share no school ties with John Grisham, he graciously visited our home in Dallas to support a fundraiser for a charity for which his wife and mine serve on the board: Share Our Strength/No Kid Hungry. His success as a novelist is unmatched. Thirty-seven consecutive number one fiction bestsellers. More than 300 million books worldwide.
During the visit, I asked Grisham whether in the wake of his great success he ever missed the courtroom. He stared at me as if I were a madman and said no.
Much like Rumpole, however, I would miss the courtroom. Perhaps that is easy for me to say because I haven’t racked up the sales of Grisham or Turow. But trial work by day and writing fiction at night gives my life balance. One pursuit is largely public and performative. The other, mostly private and contemplative.
How Writing Works with Law Practice
The allure of the courtroom helps me understand why so many actors on both sides of the pond return to the stage, though a theatre gig pays far less than they could command for film. In a criminal trial, the lawyers play to a live audience, and the feedback from closing arguments may come in hours or days.
That leads to the fourth giant on my personal Mount Rushmore of attorney-authors: Erle Stanley Gardner. If Grisham is prolific, Gardner was super prolific. More than 300 million books sold under more than a dozen pen names. Among his 131 works of fiction are the mother lode: 82 full-length Perry Mason novels.
Gardner was a lawyer’s lawyer, often representing the poor and powerless, including Chinese and Mexican immigrants. He founded the Court of Last Resort to advocate for the wrongly convicted.
Yet, he still found time to create the most popular lawyer in fiction: Perry Mason. Mason is to fictional lawyers what Sherlock Holmes is to detectives. Both are brilliant knights who fight like hell for their clients and to discover the truth. In Gardner’s world of fiction, the truth is what frees Mason’s clients.
In real life, not so much.
This Lawyer Will Keep on Writing
As a kid, I spent countless hours watching black-and-white reruns of Perry Mason and reading the source material: the Mason novels. The experience inspired me to plant one foot in the law and the other in literature.
Gardner’s long run with Mason also inspired me to launch my Cash McCahill series, the third entry of which (Chasing the Chameleon) which was published last week. With 82 Mason novels, that means only 79 more Cash books to match Gardner’s otherworldly output.
Author Bio: Paul Coggins is a nationally prominent criminal defense lawyer and the former United States Attorney for the Northern District of Texas. He has published two Cash McCahill novels (Sting Like a Butterfly and Eye of the Tigress), with a third entry in the series (Chasing the Chameleon) to be published in March 2026. A fourth Cash book (Canary in the Courthouse) is in the works. You can follow Paul on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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A funny thing happened over the last few years: I wrote a novel. This was never something I had intended to do. As a blogger, of course, I love writing. But as a lawyer, my focus is usually on the facts. I generally didn’t spend my time dreaming up stories.
But then one day, I noticed that I had dreamt up a story. I have a special place in my heart for A Christmas Carol. And I have attended a meditation retreat around the New Year several times. At some point, the two things merged a story about a lawyer who goes on retreat came to mind.
I didn’t quite know what to do with this idea at first or if I would do anything with it at all. Eventually, though, I sat down and let myself write. Then I decided that I liked what I had written well enough to keep working on it. Now, my plan is to publish this little novel by the holidays.
How did I go from nebulous idea to official project? As you may have guessed, mindfulness sure helped. Here are the five ways that mindfulness helped me write my first novel.
1. Mindfulness Helped Me Recognize the Idea.
It’s really hard to recognize a good idea or even be aware that you are having an idea in a crowded mind. Many lawyers try mindfulness with the notion that they will get a clear mind – one with few or at least fewer thoughts. After more than a decade of meditation practice, that hasn’t exactly been my experience.
I don’t feed all the thoughts and give them energy now. This means that I have a lot more mental space. I can see individual thoughts more clearly. This leaves room for wisdom about which ones are significant.
When it comes to ideas, this really matters. New ideas don’t often yell at us and demand our attention. Instead, they often whisper. When the novel started coming to me, it was very subtle. I would get a flash of a scene that might last only a few minutes. After a few weeks, I realized that this was a pattern and I started to take note.
Without clear, nonjudgmental awareness, I would have easily missed these tiny moments of inspiration. Because my mindfulness practice had honed this trait, though, I was able to see it and let the idea emerge.
2. Mindfulness Practice Gave Me the Patience to Let the Novel Emerge.
As you may have noticed by now, this book has taken a long time to unfold. It began coming to me late in 2022 but I didn’t recognize it until the next year. I started writing it early in 2023, but then didn’t finish until the very end of 2024. In 2025, I thought about publishing but then got sidetracked by my hectic law practice and copious speaking engagements. Only now in 2026 did I decide once and for all that I was going to publish the novel.
My point should be obvious by now: writing takes time. You can’t force an idea to emerge. Creativity doesn’t flow when you exert too much control. After years of writing, I have learned that I have to let inspiration guide me. As a practicing lawyer and mom too, I have also learned that I have to pick my battles in terms of creative ventures.
If there is one thing that breath focus meditation will teach you, it is patience. There have been countless times when I wanted to quit meditating when I was tired or bored or just over it. I won’t lie. Sometimes I did quit. But many times, maybe most, I continued on. In the moment I didn’t always know why.
Now, I know why not quitting matters. All those times, I was practicing patience. I was practicing keeping an open heart and a calm mind when things took longer than I preferred. In the moment, I wasn’t sure my effort was worth it, but I am sure now. Patience is an essential trait for a writer and I am glad mindfulness practice helped me cultivate it.
3. Meditation Gave Me Plenty of Experience Dealing with Doubt and Resistance.
If you are anything like me, the odds are that you will have an initial wave of pride after completing a new project. Soon enough, though, it may be followed by a wave of self-doubt and resistance. When I finished writing the novel, I had both.
Normally, I can breeze right through it. But this doubt enlisted a friend: resistance. Do you ever have times when you just put things off? Or stubbornly refuse to do things you know you should? That’s resistance.
It can be a huge impediment to creative pursuits, like writing, and also moving forward in life. My resistance lied to me. It told me that I was too busy to focus on a novel. It worked with my doubt to convince me that nobody would read it anyway and continued effort would be a waste of time.
So, what did I do? Like in my meditation practice, I just kept paying attention. For a while, the doubt and resistance worked and the novel faded into the background. But when things calmed down in my life and law practice again, the novel came back to my mind. I realized that I cared about it enough to face the doubt and deal with the resistance. Because of my mindfulness practice, I knew that I could.
4. Mindfulness Taught Me Trust Myself, an Essential Trait for Writing a Novel.
I have written a few times before that mindfulness practice builds confidence. This isn’t in the brazen or brash kind of way. Instead, I think it comes from really knowing yourself. When you study yourself closely, you learn what works better for you and that helps you face life on your terms.
Writing is a deeply personal thing, even when the story you share is a made up one. Years of writing has helped me slowly build the courage to share my own story in this blog and elsewhere. It’s allowed me to see that I can be okay if nobody reads my writing or if people don’t react as I had hoped.
In part, this is because I often feel pride and joy in the act of writing and sharing itself. And, as a bonus, some people have read my writing and it has helped me make friends and build community.
Make no mistake. When you write, it is intimate and vulnerable. Because mindfulness helped me know myself so well, I developed good instincts about sharing. I learned I could trust myself and trust others too. That trust helped me see the book in terms of possibilities rather than fears.
5. Self-Compassion Helped Me Craft a Plan to Finish and Publish the Novel.
Did I mention that I have never written fiction before? So that means I was writing a novel without knowing how to write a novel. I was an English major in college but I have never so much as taken a creative writing course.
How did I let myself write a novel with no road map? Well, in a word, I used self-compassion, which may be the very best trait derived from my mindfulness practice. Years of writing has taught me that the first draft does not have to be good. Instead, it just needs to be out. I have to allow the messy mind dump so I can see what I have.
When I first read the draft, I needed self-compassion again. Rather than looking at it with an eagle eye, I paid attention to how I felt. I wasn’t looking for plot holes or typos. I was looking to see if I laughed or cried. Fortunately, I did both.
Finally, after languishing for more than a year, my last act of self-compassion was to enlist some help. I asked some friends to beta read the draft. I got some editing help. And I made a plan to get this project done this year. After all, haven’t I written before that success on long-term goals requires adequate support?
Now that I have some support, I have a real plan for publishing the novel in time for the holidays this year.
Mindfulness Helped Me Write My Book. What Could It Help You Do?
Mindfulness practice offers many wonderful benefits, including reduced stress, less rumination, improved health, and better relationships. I experienced all of those things. But when you hear about those benefits, you don’t always understand what it means in terms of a real life. As I shared in this post, all those wonderful traits from my mindfulness practice helped me pursue something I love: writing.
Most recently, it even helped me keep writing when a project I didn’t anticipate or ask for came up. My mindfulness practice helped me write my first novel. Now, I’d love to know, hear about, or see what mindfulness practice helps you do.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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I am really proud to say that I just celebrated five years of blogging. I started this blog in 2020 with little more than a vague notion that I wanted to write about mindfulness for lawyers. I was not sure I would be able to keep the blog going, but I did.
Here are the most surprising lessons I learned along the way.
1. Start with a Vision and Let the Plan Emerge.
Many people start a new goal and think a clear plan is an essential first step. I don’t disagree with this, but this could be an impediment for something new. When I started this blog, I knew a lot about mindfulness but I knew almost nothing about blogging.
What made me start was more of a vision. I knew that my mind was active and I need a place to share my thoughts. I also knew a lot about mindfulness and loved sharing about it. From experience, I also knew that there was a need for practical and accessible instruction for lawyers on the subject.
I did chart out a rough plan to get started. I planned to post weekly and created a few categories of posts to get me started, including:
At first, I stuck to this framework and I have on average stuck to my goal of writing weekly. Over time, I added more categories, resources, and meditations.
When I tell people that I practice law, teach mindfulness and manage a blog, they always comment on my discipline. While I have sometimes been skeptical about discipline, they do have a point.
In truth, much like mindfulness practice, discipline will not sustain a long-term habit like blogging. But that doesn’t mean it’s not important at all. Much like with mindfulness, I needed discipline to keep coming back to the practice.
There have been so many days when I did not feel like writing or told myself I could not think of a good idea. Then I made myself sit down for a little bit and at least try to write. And you know what? A blog post emerged. Over time, I kind of started to like this. I found it pretty magical.
That magic could not have happened without the small amount of discipline it took me to sit down and try. Discipline is not everything and should not be everything for a habit you mean to last for years but it matters.
I love writing. It makes my mind feel better. It allows me to get some of my copious thoughts out of my head and provides much needed mental space. I also love sharing about things that light me up, whether it is mindfulness practices, good movies or music, or stories of amazing people.
There is no doubt that blogging is a ton of work. It required a lot of effort and time. But it also was fun for me to share my story and things I love and to watch something I built grow over time. Good habits require discipline for sure, but the best ones are also fun.
4. Good Habits Grow with You.
For good habits to stay fun, though, they have to change along with you. The thing about this blog’s five-year anniversary that makes me the most proud is that it really has grown with me. Change is something that most lawyers deal with frequently.
There were times when I had to pause or take a break from writing. There were times when I wrote more because I had the energy. Part of the reason I think I made it to five years is that I let the blog have this level of flexibility.
5. The Best Habits Sustain You.
This is the thing that most lawyers don’t believe when I tell them. Blogging and writing in general give me more energy than they take. People always ask me how I find the energy to keep a blog going. Some of the answer is that creating things creates energy for me.
As I said, this blog has been with me through a lot of change. Some of the times in the last five years have been really hard. Though this blog takes a lot of effort, it also sustained me during those hard times.
In this way, writing on the blog gave me something to focus on besides the heavy parts of my life. Sure, I have to come back and face those parts eventually. But I could usually face them with a clearer mind and a fuller heart after spending a little time writing.
Conclusion
There are the lessons I have learned after blogging about mindfulness for five years. I am so glad that I got started and kept going even on the days that I wasn’t sure I could. Just like my mindfulness practice, writing helps me stay mentally healthy and teaches me so much. Thanks to all the lawyers, readers, followers, and friends who have supported the blog. It’s been a great five years and I hope I get to celebrate many more anniversaries in the future.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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I spoke to a group of new law students this week and someone asked the best question about mindfulness and ego. I loved it because it showed a lot of courage and insight. The student asked me if mindfulness practice and blogging or social media are at odds because they contribute to ego.
The short answer I gave him is that this certainly can be a problem but it doesn’t have to be. I explained that anyone who writes or uses social media must learn some skills with managing their ego. And I explained how mindfulness practice can help with that.
After leaving the session, though, the question was still in my mind. It pointed to some fundamental questions about mindfulness and ego that I thought others might be asking. So in this post, I will explore mindfulness and ego a bit more deeply.
What Is the Ego?
Many of us use the word “ego” in conversation but we may not take the time to define the term. A common dictionary definition is “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” Most of us wouldn’t argue that a healthy sense of self-esteem is a good thing.
This is why it may be helpful to look at the psychological and clinical meaning of the ego. The Cleveland Clinic explains that it is the “part of your personality that helps you make practical, rational decisions.” It also supports your ability to:
adapt to your environment;
regulate your emotions; and
feel like yourself.
Viewed in this more neutral light, you can see that ego is a part of the human psyche that may serve an important function.
Along the same lines, some people may benefit from a more robust sense of self rather than a diminished one. This can include people with particular sensitivities, including histories of trauma or neurodivergence.
But It Helps to Get Clear about Your Life
With that said, mindfulness practices can help you explore the role of ego in your own life. As I have explained before, mindfulness practices are likely to help you explore the very concept of the self. Practicing mindfulness can help you see that “the self” to which you have grown accustomed is not a stable or static thing at all.
Taking time in your day to be present with your thoughts and feelings can give you an opportunity to become aware of patterns in your life. This can give you greater ability to notice, check, or even change some patterns that may not be ideal for you. It may also help you see the ways in which you are not separate from, but instead integrally connected with, others.
In many cases, you are bound to find (much like I have) that the ego is a present driving force in life. You may notice when a need to feel important or especially loved or better than others pushes you in ways that are not wholesome for you or other people. And even better, you may see ways that you can take care of your feelings and find greater connection with others in your life.
In all of these ways, mindfulness can help you understand yourself better, including the role of ego in your life. It can help you become clearer about your place in the world, so that you can navigate relationships more ethically. This can be a truly wonderful and life-changing part of the practice, but it is important to balance this inquiry with self-compassion.
Mindfulness, Ego, and Social Media
Given this clearer understanding, I want to return to the law student’s question to illustrate the concepts more clearly. The student asked whether things like blogging and social media are contrary to mindfulness practice because they can contribute to ego.
The operative word in this question is “can”. Most of us know that social media can certainly contribute to one’s sense of self-importance. We know that, depending on how it is used, social media is also associated with adverse mental health consequences and sometimes abhorrent conduct. Even if you aren’t a blogger, you may see how that can have the same effect. But I will say from experience that those things aren’t universally true.
For some people, blogging and social media might lead to unhealthy states of mind, like social comparison or perfectionism. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that those struggles sometimes happened for me. But I have learned to recognize when a striving attitude is taking hold and to give myself a break. I have adopted an attitude of fun and play when it comes to writing and the use of social media. I’ve also let go of expectations. If I have a goal, it is to share ideas and connect with others.
And in truth, I have had to learn how to navigate the negative aspects of social media too. I have had to learn how to not fight with strangers on the internet. I have hard to learn to state my opinions with humility and respect for the viewpoints of others.
In addition, I will be honest that blogging and social media have inspired a lot of humility in me. I have written so many things that never get read. I have had times where people criticize my writing. I have faced imposter syndrome so many times when I see talented people who do things better than me. In all these ways, blogging and social media have provided at least as many checks on my ego as they have provided temptations for it.
What Does This Tell Us about Mindfulness, Ego, and Pursuing Goals?
Instead, mindfulness practice is really more about understanding ourselves more clearly so that we can engage in the world with greater kindness and skill. In this way, mindfulness practice is not inherently antithetical to the use of social media or to creating a robust body of work in the world.
The caveat here is that, of course, mindfulness practice should inspire you to watch the way you go about pursuing goals and crafting your body of work. It should cause you, at every turn, to consider the impact of these things on you as well as on the community around you.
If you practice mindfulness long enough, you inevitably will question yourself at times just like the law student questioned me. This part of the practice can sometimes be a gut check – or maybe an ego check – but it is one that has changed my life. And it is one that helps me stay honest on this blog and when I use social media. If you learn to make space for questions like these in your own mindfulness practice, they can change your life too.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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I have had a busy few months and it doesn’t look like things are going to slow down any time soon. When things get like this for me, I really appreciate the anchoring practices in my life to keep me steady. In case you don’t know what that means, this post will explain it and help you identify the practices that may serves as anchors for you.
What Is An Anchoring Practice?
Anchoring practices are the things we do in daily life that help us feel steady, nourished, focused, and in a state of flow. The practices that serve this purpose for me most frequently are meditation, exercise, writing, and cooking. You would think that in busy or turbulent times, these practices would be the first to go.
Over the years, though, I have noticed that the opposite is true. Rather than let these habits go when I am too busy, I rely on them even more. This is how the practices serve as anchors. They keep me grounded, steady, and calm enough to face life, busy and crazy as it is.
How to Identify Anchoring Practices for Your Life?
If you have practices in your life that serve the same purpose, you may be able to identify them very quickly. Many lawyers and professionals, though, don’t have time or reason to think this through. I find it helpful to have a framework for my well-being, though, because I can use it as a guide in times when I struggle or get stuck.
In case you need some help establishing or identifying potential anchoring practices for your own life, here are the four hallmark traits to consider.
1. You Genuinely Enjoy It.
For a practice to serve as an anchor for you, it needs to be something you will do consistently. To some degree, then, this means that you need to sincerely enjoy it. Does this mean that it will always be easy, risk free, or only feel good?
Not necessarily. When a practice becomes like that, you may get bored with it and it won’t keep your attention very well. A little bit of challenge and even some risk might be present in any good anchoring practice. But still there has to be something there that calls you back and draws you in again and again.
Another important thing about anchoring practices is that they allow you take your armor off. By this, I mean that you can really tell that something is an anchor for you if you feel like you can be yourself while doing it.
When you do the practice, there is no pretending or putting on a happy face or trying to appear professional. Instead, there is just you and the practice. It’s you as you are doing something you love.
Cooking is an anchoring practice for me because it allows my creativity and resourcefulness to shine. What activity in your life makes you feel like your most authentic self?
3. It Nourishes You.
Another reason that you may come back again and again to anchoring practices is that they always give you what you need. This is to say that they nourish you in some way.
In many cases, lawyers have most of our basic needs met. As people who tend to be time poor, however, some essential human needs may get neglected. For many lawyers, and professionals, then, the most beneficial daily habits may give us a chance to get what we don’t otherwise get at work.
A final feature about anchoring practices is that they create connections. As noted above, this may include a chance to get in touch with oneself. In general, though, practices that connect us to others or something bigger tend to be the ones that stick with us throughout our lives.
All of the practices I mentioned above have this connecting force too, but the one that exemplifies it most for me is writing. As I have shared before, I am an introvert and can easily get very lost in my own thoughts and experience. It has been hard for me over the years to share my ideas with others and it took me a long time to learn to be myself.
Though anchoring practices are not one size fits all, they have some essential features. If you are trying to identify or establish anchoring practices in your own life, look for these four things: (1) enjoyment; (2) authenticity; (3) nourishment; and (4) connection.
To explore this idea more, check out the Personal Well-Being Worksheet. It will help you identify the practices that support all aspects of personal well-being by guiding you through an assessment of basic needs.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
As a mindfulness teacher and blogger, the connection between mindfulness practice and writing comes up for me a lot. Though I have always been drawn to writing and I do it every day in my work as a lawyer, I didn’t always consider myself a writer. It took many years for it to emerge as a real passion and part of my life.
How Meditation Led to Writing
If I never started meditating, there’s a good chance that I never would have discovered this meaningful pastime at all. As I have explained before, meditation helped me create the mental space that was necessary to recognize some of my copious thoughts as ideas. Over time, I also cultivated self-compassion and became more aware of latent judgments, so I could get ideas on the page.
Then, finally all the time sitting in meditation and the benefits it imparted convinced me of something fundamental: using some of my time to please myself was worthwhile. This helped me get over all the fears about writing being a “waste of time” or “too much work” or that “nobody would care.”
The Interview Discussing Mindfulness and Writing
I was fortunate to get a chance to discuss all of these things and more with fellow writer and coach, Shonda Ramsey. I met Shonda online when I saw her searching for self-published authors. Writing my first book was a great experience and one that has led to many other wonderful opportunities in my life.
I was glad to get to talk to Shonda about it and explain how mindfulness and creativity are interconnected. I was also pleased to discuss the fact that writing, a traditionally lonely endeavor, was something that led me to cultivate greater community. In fact, I was proud to share that I got help from a book coach to make the leap from blogger to author quickly.
How to Watch or Listen to the Interview
If you are interested in writing or wonder what mindfulness can do to help you get more creative in life, check out the full interview on the Dear Indie Author podcast. You can listen online, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify or watch the interview on YouTube here:
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Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
Focusing on progress with mindfulness practice is not without its risks. It is easy to get sidetracked from the daily work of practice by obsessing about one’s growth and all the benefits practice has bestowed. If taken too far, this could lead to frustration and impatience or, on the other hand, arrogance and malaise.
Even so, it is worthwhile from time to time to consider progress and growth. As a blogger, I have intentionally celebrated milestones whenever possible to maintain my own motivation. I started this blog on my own and, though it has certainly helped me develop community, the daily work of writing can be a lonely business.
A Confluence of Milestone Moments
For this reason, I was fortunate over the last few days to have a confluence of milestone moments. Much like the recent eclipse, the conjunction of all of these things lining up together made me stop and take notice. So what were these milestone moments?
The first one is that this is the 200th post on the blog. As my fav Peloton instructor might remark on a milestone ride, nobody does anything 200 times by accident. This is a meaningful recognition for me since most of my experience with this blog felt like an experiment.
I enjoy building things. I’m meticulous by nature and I am comfortable going step by step. When I launched this blog in December, 2020, though, I didn’t have a clear idea about what I was building. At the time, the blog was an act of celebration and an acknowledgement of how much I enjoy writing.
Celebrating 200 Blog Posts
All this time, I have managed the blog while raising two girls, managing a law practice, and teaching mindfulness and compassion. Given this context, managing to generate content consistently often felt like a game of keeping a helium balloon in the air. I had to keep tapping away or the balloon would fall.
In fact, for a period I let the ball drop so that I could focus on writing my first book. Getting to 200 posts feels good because I was able to get back in the game. I’ve often been worried that life would happen and my writing would stop. Now I see that my writing is part of my life.
A Blast from the Past
The next item that spurred reflection was not truly a milestone, but instead a blast from my past. In 2020, just a few months before I launched the blog, a woman named Janice Windt profiled me for her blog about working moms. In the post, I shared about my history with postpartum depression and how cultivating self-compassion helped me heal and thrive.
Janice reached out last week to check in because she was reactivating the series. I checked the old post and saw the date–August, 2020. I immediately recognized this as the time just before I became certified as a meditation teacher and launched the blog.
It was pretty fun to catch up with Janice and send her an update on all that has happened in the last four years. Sometimes we don’t know how small steps might affect our lives when we take them. It was nice to have a chance to think about how much can come from putting a little energy and time into a new idea.
Sharing My Story with Friends
The last milestone moment is my favorite because it was celebrated with friends. I got to deliver a dharma talk for my local meditation community this past weekend. For those who aren’t familiar, this is lecture about Buddhism in community, similar to a homily at mass.
I was nervous to give the talk since I had been only an occasional visitor to the community and wasn’t sure how someone with a variety of influences might be received. As I spoke, though, my fears vanished. The group was engaged and we had such good discussion afterward.
The Call to Help Others
And what do you suppose was the theme of my talk? It was called “Stumbling onto the Bodhisattva Path.” It was inspired by The Way of the Bodhisattva by Shantideva, a classical poem that is well worth a read and in-depth study.
A bodhisattva is someone who trains in mindfulness and compassion in order to alleviate the suffering of others. Many of us who are brought up in the Christian faith may hear this and think it is essentially a saint. The point of my talk is that helping others is more ordinary and available to us all than we may think. It can even come as a surprise on the journey of life.
With this post, I am celebrating progress because hard work and dedication deserves a celebration. I won’t let this reflection distract me for too long from my daily work, though. The daily work of meditation, teaching, and writing is where I have found the connection that is my biggest reward.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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The Mindfulness in Law Society reached out and asked if I wanted to do a community event for the larger group. I have been guiding the virtual sits for about a year now and taught at the virtual retreat last fall. For this event, though, they didn’t want me to guide a meditation. They wanted me to teach.
When we did the meeting to plan this session, I expected they would have something in mind. To my delight and surprise, they didn’t have preconceived notions. Instead, the organizer and I discussed some of my recent speaking engagements and I told her about a Ted-style talk I had done on thought leadership for the FDCC. She saw my face light up and suggested that the topic relate to the intersection of writing and mindfulness.
I don’t claim to be an expert, but this experience and my mindfulness training has helped me develop some tips and best practices for creativity. On April 24th at 12 PM EST, I hope you will join me and the Mindfulness in Law Society online for a session where I’ll discuss this. I will share the top 5 ways that my mindfulness practice helped spur my creativity and I expect some other authors will join and share their tips as well.
This event is open to anyone in the legal profession, which includes lawyers (including those in law adjacent fields), law students, law professors, and support staff. Please join us or reach out if you have any questions. You can register here.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Can you help me understand something? Like seriously. I need someone else to explain this to me slowly and in small words. Why does writing about my dark times in life feel so good?
I have had these times in my life. Experiences that are just awful. So awful, in fact, that I don’t even want to acknowledge them when they are happening.
Then I survive them and time passes. And I find myself not just journaling about them, but publishing pieces about them. Every time I do this, it scares me. Every time, I think “This is going to be the last straw. This is going to be the one where people say I have gone too far.” But that last straw never seems to come.
Writing About Dark Times Feels Good
Instead, what happens is that I feel good. Damn good. So damn good that I repeat the cycle again. What is this? Can you help me identify this phenomenon?
Case in point. I just published an article for Above the Law – one of the most well read legal blogs on the internet. The topic of my article was loneliness. While a common affliction these days, especially for lawyers who rate themselves as the loneliest of professions, loneliness also commonly induces shame.
But at the time, the idea of saying to myself “I have no friends” was too painful to bear. Fast forward ten years, and I decided to tell the internet about it. The weird thing is that I don’t feel ashamed anymore. I feel fantastic. What gives?
Writing Can Help You Process Emotions
Now, you would be correct to point out that the response from my community has been heartening. I received nothing but positive comments and messages in response to my post. One contact on LinkedIn even offered to be my friend and a legal scholar of ethics dubbed me the Lawyer of the Week for my post.
Certainly, seeing the reality of what people really think juxtaposed against the tragedy of shame playing out in our minds can help us get perspective. But this isn’t a one-off scenario. At this point, this is a pattern for me.
Writing Is Sharing and That Means Confronting Shame
And, though I got similarly positive responses to those posts, the great feelings happened before any public response. The good feelings started when I decided to write. They climaxed when I wrote and cried my way through the editing process. And they continued as I hit send or publish on the piece.
Writing Can Be Scary at First But It Ultimately Feels Good
So what are these great feelings? If I had to offer one word, I would call it self-acceptance. Writing about our past experiences forces us to get clear about them. It forces us to recall what happened, acknowledge all the angst and fear there, and not look away.
In general, the form of story telling also calls on us to provide a narrative structure. It’s not enough to just say what we experienced; we next have to say where it took us and what we learned. That means we have to figure out the meaning of the experience.
When I have published the pieces about my dark moments, it’s like self-acceptance on steroids. I know that some people may judge me. I know that some people may criticize. I publish anyway. Usually, I have been motivated to do so because I know that I am not alone in dealing with the issue. For example, all of the dark experiences I have shared (depression, alcohol, loneliness, imposter syndrome) are things lawyers commonly face.
But when I share my story with these experiences, I highlight my story and take the risk that some might not understand. When I do, I remember how much of my life was spent tip-toeing around people who might not get me and I say to myself “not anymore.”
Writing Lets Us Share Our Story and Make Sense of It
So perhaps I have figured this out on my own. Writing about dark moments in life isn’t without pain or risk, but it feels damn good. It feels good to acknowledge your own experience and understand what it means. It feels good to own your story no matter what people might think.
Justice Louis D. Brandeis (the namesake for my law school) famously said “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants.” He wasn’t talking about mental health here but the saying still applies. If you are struggling with dark moments, try bringing in some light. Talk it out, write it out, share it with those you trust. Your story matters and acknowledging it can feel damn good.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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