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Five Reasons to Stop Judging Yourself for Using Guided Meditations

Image of woman meditating with headphones on in a living room with title of post "Five Reasons to Stop Judging Yourself for Using Guided Meditations"

When I speak to lawyers about mindfulness, I’m sometimes asked about guided meditations. I’m not sure why, but some people have the idea that using guided meditation is somehow not “real” meditation. Allow me to set the record straight: that’s not true.

At least, I don’t think it’s true. Don’t get me wrong. There are advantages to meditating without guiding. I have written about that before. But the fact that unguided meditation offers benefits does not imply that guided meditation is somehow not enough.

If you are giving yourself a hard time about this, keep reading. Here are five reasons why guided meditation is a valid way for lawyers to practice meditation.

1. Guided Meditations Can Help You Explore and Learn Various Practices

I don’t rely on guiding too much in my personal practice anymore, but as a beginner I used them as much as I could. The reason for this was that I did not have very much experience with different practices. And even when I found practices that I loved, like loving-kindness, I hadn’t memorized all of the steps.

After a few years, that changed but only because I had used been practicing so much in recorded mindfulness sessions. That’s my point here.

Guided meditations can help lawyers explore and learn various meditation practices. While I do recommend a simple approach to meditation in general, exploration is great for lawyers too.

Mindfulness is a trait and a tool for life. The best way to figure out what styles and practices support you the most is to experience them. Guided meditations offer this to lawyers and other professionals who want to learn.

2. They Can Help You Keep Your Session on Schedule

One of the biggest issues that prevent lawyers from meditating more is time. A great thing about most guided meditations is that they have built-in timers. Most recorded practices cue you when you are done, so you don’t overstay your session.

This is a real issue with meditation because it is a practice that can encourage spacing out or falling asleep. Because most lawyers access guiding in the form of audio recordings, the end of the practice will usually wake you up.

Some apps, including Peloton, also allow you to put your practice on your calendar. You can select your practices for the week and schedule them so you don’t miss a sit. This is huge for lawyers, who are often motivated by our calendars.

Image of person meditating with headphones on listing 5 Reasons Why Guided Meditations Are Great for Lawyers as discussed in the post

3. Guided Meditations Can Make Practice More Enjoyable

The best kind of meditation is the one that you will do consistently. Based on this, it makes sense to enjoy your time meditating at least a little bit.

Guided meditations can do this in several ways. They may offer background music or soundscapes that can block out distracting sounds. This is important if you live in a noisy part of town or with people or pets who don’t always keep quiet.

The voice of another person guiding you make make practice feel less lonely. Along the same lines, the voice of another person may be soothing and help you relax. If you use meditations from someone you know and trust, following their guiding may help you feel more confident in your practice.

This may help you rest in your practice instead of feeling like you are working too hard. Meditation is hard enough on its own. Using guiding to make it a bit easier is not a cop out. It can be a smart way for lawyers to sustain their practice.

4. Lawyers May Need Practice Accepting Support

If you don’t like the idea of guiding in meditation, it could be possible that you have some issues around accepting help. This is common for many lawyers and it was definitely an issue for me.

The good news, though, is that you can learn to work out of this mindset. Independence is a wonderful virtue. If you are exploring mindfulness, though, I bet you already have this trait. Meditation will not take it away, but it may help you see the various ways in which you do better when you have the right support.

A guided meditation is a tool to support mindfulness practice. It works just like a mat, block, and blanket support a yoga practice. If you use props for yoga or another physical fitness practice, you are likely to see that they don’t detract from practice. Instead, they often make practice better.

Trust me, learning this lesson in meditation is one that translates into life. This is yet another reason why lawyers can feel good about using guiding to support their mindfulness practice.

Image of man meditating outside in headphones with social media post that says "Lawyers, avoid coming up with reasons why your mindfulness practice is not good enough. Using a guided meditation is real meditation."

5. Trained Teachers Offer Guided Meditations for a Reason

As a final attempt to convince you that there is nothing wrong with supporting your practice with guiding, I will appeal to authority. If you take a meditation course or attend a retreat, you are very unlikely to practice in silence on your own the entire time. Instead, most teachers offer some sort of guided meditation.

If you search the internet, you will easily find guided meditations from some of the best meditation teachers in the world. This includes people like Sharon Salzberg, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Thich Nhat Hahn, Pema Chodron, Ethan Nichtern, and more.

Along the same lines, I offer several guided meditations for lawyers on this blog. And I guide virtual sessions for lawyers with the Mindfulness in Law Society at least once a month.

Trained teachers offer these practices because they encourage students to practice and learn. Implicit in this is the idea that using guided meditations is still meditation.

Bottom Line: There Is Nothing Wrong with Using a Guided Meditation

If you are taking the time to practice mindfulness, please do not be hard on yourself. Be wary against listing all the reasons why your practice is not good enough. Practice is hard enough, especially for busy people like lawyers.

As long as the guiding is helping you practice, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just keep practicing and doing what works for you. You can always explore other styles of practice over time if needed, but you shouldn’t feel pressure to do so. Using guided meditations is a legitimate way for lawyers and everyone else to practice mindfulness.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Laughing Through Meditation: Lessons from Josh Johnson

I have always been a big fan of stand-up comedy and recently this world has collided with my love of mindfulness. It’s now becoming common for comics to talk about meditation in their sets. Most of the time, I can turn my meditation teacher brain off for long enough to get a good laugh out of them.

But when one of my favorite comics, Josh Johnson, took on meditation I couldn’t resist writing about it. I’m a huge fan of Josh Johnson. I’ve seen his tour, watched his comedy special on HBO, and love his appearances on the Daily Show. Johnson is an excellent storyteller and can make you laugh at the tiniest things.

Recently, my husband sent me one of Johnson’s short clips where he talks about trying meditation. It’s quick and hilarious. You should watch it just to laugh. The other good news is that Johnson’s bit points to several very real struggles in meditation practice.

For those of you who want to laugh and learn, this post walks through Josh Johnson’s two-minute clip on meditation. Then it offers teachings to address the problems he mentions.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up When Your Mind Wanders in Meditation

Johnson starts off his bit by correctly mentioning the teaching that you should avoid beating yourself up when your mind wanders from the breath. Of course, he exaggerates the teaching for comic effect. He says that “you should not, you cannot” beat yourself up when your mind wanders.

In reality, this teaching is offered because it is common for people to berate themselves when their minds wander in meditation. It happens to all of us. For this reason, the teaching is not a prohibition like Johnson implies. Rather, it is a guidepost and an invitation to learn self-compassion.

Stated in a more precise way, the teaching really is that meditation is much easier and more effective when you have a kind inner attitude. If you notice yourself getting upset or engaging self-criticism, that’s okay. There is no need to feel like a failure or criticize that. Instead, the answer is just to recognize that you are doing something hard and go back to the breath.

Image with quote that says "meditation pro tips: don't try too hard. Don't expect a clear mind."

Don’t Expect to Have a “Calm Mind”

About 25 seconds into the clip, Johnson correctly describes the practice of bringing one’s attention back to the breath repeatedly during meditation. But he ends it by saying that the goal or the expected end result is a “calm mind.”

Johnson is doing comedy here, so he doesn’t explain what he means by a “calm mind.” If you watch on, though, you can tell that he is equating a calm mind to a clear mind. Stated more directly, this means a non-thinking mind.

In fact, this is not necessarily the goal of meditation.

Some traditions may make this the goal and some teachers even talk about “clear minds” on occasion. For many teachers and traditions (myself included), though, meditation is not about removing thoughts. It does not make thoughts magically disappear and they are not off limits during practice.

Instead, the goal is making peace with thoughts, getting clarity about them, and creating wisdom around them.

Don’t Try Too Hard When You Meditate

With this foundation laid, Johnson dramatically declares that he’s “Going to try to meditate.” He closes his eyes and assumes a stern posture to show how serious he is about it.

Again, this is clearly for comic effect. Even so, it raises a really important point. Johnson is suggesting that good meditation is about being super serious. He’s suggesting that it’s fundamentally about discipline.

If you watch, pause the clip at about 37 seconds and take a look at it. You can see Johnson sitting with his eyes closed tight, appearing like he is trying to force himself to concentrate. Aside from the comic value, this is how a lot of lawyers think meditation is supposed to look.

As I have written before, relaxation, play, and even joy are better approaches. Why? Because you will focus best and learn the most when you are relaxed instead of trying too hard. Discipline matters insofar as you do the practice. But, once you do, ease up, relax, and crack a smile.

Image with quote about meditation that says "Focusing on the breath is not the same as thinking about the breath."

Lotus Pose Is Not Required in Meditation

Next, Johnson attempts the hilarious and impressive feat of demonstrating getting himself into lotus pose while sitting on a stool. This is for laughs and to show how awkward he felt forcing himself this pose for meditation.

Johnson quickly notes, though, that he struggles because he’s not as flexible as he used to be. Then he says his leg fell asleep. Anyone who has meditated for even a few minutes has had these same struggles.

Here’s the truth: meditation can happen in almost any posture. Using a cushion or sitting with legs crossed can be great, but they aren’t required. You can meditate in a chair or you can do so standing or lying down or even walking. Any posture works as long as you feel safe, relaxed, supported, and can stay alert.

In addition, you are allowed to move when you meditate. If your leg falls asleep, the classic teaching is to just notice it. But if it is distracting or uncomfortable enough to really bother you, you are allowed to move. It’s truly okay.

Focusing on the Breath Is Not Thinking about the Breath

Johnson next hilariously showcases a subtle misunderstanding of the directions for breath focus practice. Once he gets himself into position, he says that the object is to “just think about your breath.” He exaggerates this by saying you should “hold onto the ideas of your breath; that’s how you stay present!”

Some teachers and traditions may differ on this, but meditation is not thinking about the breath. Instead, breath focus meditation is about keeping one’s attention with the breath. I teach this to mean feeling the physical sensations of the breath. Other ways of practice also include noting the cycles or parts of the breath.

Thinking about the breath is different than feeling the breath and observing its aspects. When you think about the breath, your awareness is principally in the mind. But when you feel sensations of the breath, your awareness is in the body.

As Johnson comically demonstrates, this distinction matters a lot. All of his thinking about the breath leads inevitably to a long train of thoughts about everything but his breath. This is why it makes a difference to know what your anchor is in meditation. If you know the anchor very precisely, it is easier to stay with and return to your anchor.

Image with quote that says "You probably aren’t doing meditation wrong. The practice is hard. Struggles may be signs you are doing it right. You just might need some support."

What to Do When You See that Your Mind Wandered

Perhaps the funniest part of the clip is when Johnson demonstrates his wandering mind. He goes off on a tangent for about a minute sharing his anxiety about world events. As you can hear, the audience immediately gets it. This is a very relatable thing.

Mind wandering is exactly what you can expect to experience if you try meditation. When you start to notice it, it can be just as hilarious as the mental rant Johnson shared in his clip.

And he announces in dramatic form at the two-minute mark of the clip, “I wandered.” Of course, this is a comedic reckoning. Johnson uses it to show that his pursuit of a calm mind was futile all along and to laugh at himself.

Here’s the thing: the moment where you notice the mind wandering is not a failure. It doesn’t mean you are doing the practice wrong. It means you are doing the practice right because you have seen that your mind is wandering.

In that moment, Johnson woke up from his anxious mental rant. He stopped it. That’s a good thing and a powerful thing once it becomes a trait. The problem was, he didn’t stay with the practice and return to his breath. He judged (in hilarious fashion) the mental pattern. The teaching, of course, is just being kind and going back to the breath.

You Probably Aren’t Doing Meditation Wrong

Of course, Johnson doesn’t do that, at least not in the clip. Instead, he says that “I went ahead and I stopped meditating.” Over the laughter of the audience, he explains that he at least stopped for the time being “Because I was doing it wrong.”

As mentioned above, I think Johnson should give himself more credit. For one thing, his joke make me and lots of other people laugh. In addition, I think he was doing meditation just fine. I don’t think he was truly doing the practice wrong. Instead, as mentioned above, he may have had some expectations about practice that made him think he was doing it wrong.

In addition, the truth is that meditation is not an easy practice to sustain. It’s a simple practice to learn, but it can be hard to sustain. This is because it forces us to confront uncomfortable thoughts and sensations for extended periods of time. For these reasons, struggles in meditation don’t mean you are doing it wrong or it doesn’t work. Struggles can sometimes indicate the opposite.

You Can Always Try Again Later

Johnson says he may try meditation again in the future. Of course, trying again is the only way to learn the practice and see what works best for you.

Because all the struggles Johnson pointed to are common issues, here are a few tips that may make meditation practice a bit easier if you ever decide to start or start again:

Start small;
Make your practice enjoyable;
Find a community;
Find a teacher; and
Consider finding some resources or taking a course.

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Can Lawyers Be Convinced that Laziness Does Not Exist?

You can’t ignore a book with a title like Laziness Does Not Exist. It’s bold. Many lawyers might argue that it’s controversial. As soon as I heard it, I knew I had to read it.

Most of you probably aren’t surprised that a mindfulness teacher was interested in a book about laziness. After all, I encourage other lawyers to spend more time doing nothing in this blog on a weekly basis.

But, of course, idleness is not something we lawyers take to easily. As I will share in this review, I loved Laziness Does Not Exist (“LDNE”) by Devon Price because it helps us unpack why we dislike and fear laziness so much. (paid link) It also offers sound practices for gradually unwinding our individual and societal issues around laziness.

Keep reading to learn more about why I liked the book so much and what it may offer to you.

The Book Offers Deep Insights for Lawyers who May Fear Laziness.

Despite it’s seemingly simple title, LDNE is more than an argument about the nonexistence of laziness. Instead, it’s more of a conversation about our cultural and individual feelings about work and effort. It posits that a collection of values around work and productivity have congealed into “the laziness lie.”

These assumptions, asserting that passivity is bad and activity is good, often manipulate us all into a pattern of overwork. As a mindfulness practitioner and teacher, I was already attuned to many red flags of this nature. For instance, I understand that rest is essential and not a reward for good behavior. I have written many times before about the connection between overwork, exhaustion, and striving for perfection. And I have even talked about the idea that doing nothing can sometimes be a power move.

Even so, as I read LDNE, I was repeatedly impressed by how much Price offered deep insights on these subjects. He didn’t skim the surface by making a generic plea for us to appreciate the importance of self-care. Instead, he went deep in explaining how laziness got such a bad rap in our culture. Then he invites each of us to explore how our own fear of being regarded as lazy causes each of us to overwork, whether at work, with our personal habits, or even in our relationships.

In various ways, the book is full of insights. It reframes fundamental issues that will change your mind, whether you start off believing in laziness or not.

Image of question that asks lawyers how often do you call yourself or someone else lazy?

It Also Shares Useful Tips to Help Lawyers to Set Boundaries.

More significantly, the insights in LDNE weren’t offered just to produce “aha” moments. Instead, they are intended to help each of us give ourselves a break. LDNE does this by offering a variety of useful strategies and practices to get oneself out of the grind created by the laziness lie.

Most relevant to lawyers, these include tips and strategies for managing one’s work day and work life. For instance, it explained that small breaks at work can actually boost productivity.Th

Quite correctly, though, the tips are not just restricted to work. In this age of political polarization and upheaval, I found the chapters four and five to be the most useful. In these chapters, Price discussed the traps we can set for ourselves when we get too invested in world and political events or when we try to maximize our achievement even in our leisure time.

I found these chapters useful because I have struggled with both of these things. Despite my busy and stressful law practice, I have still found it a challenge to not take on every social cause as my personal mission. It also can be tough for lawyers to turn our competitive and goal-oriented personas from work when he get home.

This can cause us to track and document on social media every activity in our lives to the point where we leave ourselves no place to rest. It was helpful that the chapters both offered permission and practical strategies to gradually find more ease with these life activities.

A summary of the book review shared in this article of Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price

Encourages compassion and understanding for yourself and others

Perhaps my favorite thing about LDNE is that the overall mission of the book is one that encourages greater compassion and understanding for oneself and others. In the end, the big message that you may get from reading LDNE is that calling someone, including yourself, lazy is often the result of failing to look closely or clearly at a situation.

Price encourages us all to stop reflexively calling ourselves or others lazy when we struggle. Instead, he asks us to look more closely to understand what may be causing the problem. In many situations doing so may help us identify a very logical reason why effort, work, and motivation are a challenge.

But I also appreciated that LDNE also addressed the reality that many of us, especially lawyers, tend to criticize ourselves more than anyone else for alleged laziness. Though I would not call LDNE a self-help book, it does offer some helpful strategies in this regard. It wisely discussed the value of meditation, simply feeling one’s feelings, and even writing about one’s experiences as helpful ways of confronting our own personal hang-ups and self-judgments when it comes to laziness.

Laziness Does Not Exist Is a Good Read for Lawyers

Overall, Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price is an easy to read, insightful, and well-structured book that will change your mind. It will help you identify the ways that worries about laziness come up in your own life and work. It may help you develop strategies to work a little less in ways that aren’t consistent with your values. But the end goal isn’t lazy at all. It is courage to look more clearly at the world, yourself, and other people so that you can act with greater kindness and compassion.

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Upcoming Lawyer Events for Mindfulness and Compassion

I’m relaxing on family vacation this week, but I realized I have two great events coming up next week. Lawyers interested in mindfulness and attorney well-being may like to hear about them. In fact, both events are raising money for good causes so I hope you will check them out.

This post will share details about each of the events and provide the details for how lawyers can register and participate.

Will Work for Food

The first event coming up next week ticks all the boxes. It covers an interesting topic, it’s aimed lawyers, and it is for a good cause. Will Work for Food – the New Possibilities Hour is an initiative of my friend, Jean Lawler and other dispute resolution professionals. Jean is a great lawyer but she spends much of her time mediating cases now.

She started Will Work for Food with friends to educate people about the mediation process and raise money for charity in the process. To do this, she brings in experts from various fields to talk and teach about an issue that comes up in mediation.

The Topic: Anger in Conflict Resolution

Jean and her friends saw my past working and writing on anger management and asked me to talk about that. Anger is definitely something that can get in the way at mediation. For that reason, Jean and I will talk about how mindfulness can help us manage it and even harness the energy of anger for good.

This session will be an interview about anger, and how it shows up in law practice and conflict resolution. We’ll also discuss what mindfulness offers in terms of anger management and why it’s a whole lot more than a few breathing strategies. Instead, you might be surprised to learn that anger may have some hidden benefits.

Why Lawyers Should Watch

It is free to watch and participate in this session, but Will Work for Food encourages everyone watching to donate to food banks. As a big fan of cooking myself, I elected to support the humanitarian work of renowned Chef, Jose Andres, at World Central Kitchen.

I like World Central Kitchen because it sends food and volunteers to where it is needed most urgently around the world. WCK goes to locations hit by natural disasters, war and conflict, and even disease.

Of course, my episode will only be a drop in the bucket in addressing hunger on a worldwide basis. But Will Work for Food has already raised over $1 Million since it started in 2020. Join us to be a part of that impact.

When and How Lawyers Can Join or Watch

The live event is online on June 25th at 8 AM PST / 11 PM EST. You can find register for the event on Zoom or watch live on LinkedIn. If you join live, you can engage and ask questions in the comments or chat.

If you wish to catch the interview later, you can find the recording on LinkedIn or view it on the Will Work for Food website.

Thriving in Law Summit

This Summit is organized by lawyer and coach, Gina Steele. It is a 4-day Virtual Online Event designed specifically for legal professionals looking to transform their practice and their lives. Have you ever looked at a conference schedule that looked great but you didn’t have the time to attend?

This event is different. It boasts an array of wonderful speakers on a range of topics relating to lawyer well-being. But it gives you the flexibility to decide when and how to watch. Topics include mindfulness, compasion, communication, time management, and more.

The Topic: Compassion for Lawyers

My session is entitled “Becoming a Badass Lawyer: How Self-Compassion and Compassion Towards Others Helps Lawyers Succeed and Thrive.” In this one-hour interview, Gina asks me to break down how and why lawyers should cultivate compassion for self and others.

We discuss the impediments to compassion that are inherent to law practice, but also strategies and practices for removing those blockages. I also share studies and stories that help lawyers see that greater compassion and less stress are real possibilities for them.

Why Lawyers Should Register

This Summit is intended for lawyers who want to:

energize their law practice;
learn new ways to manage stress;
optimize their workday; and
be inspired.

Like the event above, the Thriving in Law Sumit is also supporting a good cause. Our society faces a critical gap in access to justice. For many underserved and marginalized communities, competent legal representation is out of reach. Lincoln Law School is working to close this gap by transforming determined, hardworking adults into practice-ready, ethical advocates. Those who donate to Lincoln Law School will have access to the Summit videos for a year.

When and How Lawyers Can Watch

The Summit runs from June 25-28, 2026. Each day, all scheduled interviews will be available at 9:00 am PDT/12:00 pm EDT and will remain available until the end of day June 30, 2026. You can register through Gina’s website here and get access to all the videos next week.

This means that you can watch the videos on your own time in a way that fits your schedule.

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Easy Celebration Tips for Busy Lawyers

I teach and write about the importance of celebration for lawyers, all the time. But I’ll be honest, it can sometimes be hard to do. Last week, I finished a critical case and I was fortunate to have the chance to celebrate right away. It made a huge difference in my outlook and energy levels.

This experience reminded me how simple but essential celebration can be for lawyers. As a result, I decided to share my experience to show that celebration doesn’t have to be something that is time-consuming, expensive, or difficult. Instead, it can be a simple sharing of experience with colleagues.

If, like me, you struggle to celebrate all your achievements, to keep yourself motivated in your law practice. This post will identify why celebration is essential for lawyers and the key ingredients of a good celebration.

Why Is Celebration Important for Lawyers?

The reason that celebration is important for lawyers is the same reason that it is hard for us to do. Lawyers are busy people who deal with difficult things. Our work involves risky situations, stressful cases with clients, and a lot of time in the office. We may also feel pressure because so many other people depend on us.

So when a case ends or a deal is done, lawyers can forget to take the time to feel good about it. We may move on to the next case or just go home and rest, but we don’t look back. Instead, lawyers often keep looking forward.

Over time, this can mean that lawyers experience a lot of negative things without much balance. We devote our attention and energy to things that stress us out. But we may miss many of the good things that come along the way.

Celebration is essential to remind us that there are also good parts of law practice. We may have clients that we care about, people in our law firms that we enjoy, and staff and the team members who impress us. If we don’t take the time to celebrate, we don’t reap the rewards of all these beneficial aspects of work. Due to the negativity bias in the brain, lawyers need explicit reminders of good things like these.

What Was My Big Celebration?

You may be wondering what my big celebration was. In reality, it wasn’t that big at all. My practice group has weekly conference calls, where we all meet on Teams to discuss our cases and workload. Because it was the end of our busy season, one of the practice group leaders decided that we should all share a drink. Some of us chose to drink mocktails, and some of us actually had a cocktail.

Fortunately, the day of the event, the leaders sent out an email reminding us of the special occasion for this call. A few hours before it happened, I resolved a major case that had caused problems and stress for my practice and client. So of course, I decided to rush out and buy some champagne to celebrate with my colleagues on the call. And let me just say, it was a lot of fun. It made me feel good about my practice and close to my team. It made me realize that the struggles we go through as lawyers are worth it. It really made a difference to my energy levels and outlook.

Image with quote that says "Celebration is essential for lawyers for the same reason it is hard for us."

The Key Ingredients of the Celebration

You may be wondering what made this simple celebration so great? The key ingredients I have identified are as follows:

first, it was planned in advance,
second, it involved a shared experience, and
third, it included an element of fun
fourth, it did not require extra work.

These items are easy to comprehend but I will explain why each was so essential me and why it may matter to other lawyers.

1. Lawyers May Need to Plan to Celebrate

The first element, planning, matters because it shows it was a priority. Planning is also a practical necessity, so we could make a point to be there and participate. In addition, we were reminded of the event the day of, so we didn’t forget to do something special. This reminded everyone that celebration and connection with each other were important.

I know sometimes it feels odd to plan out a celebration or even a small time to connect with colleagues. While impromptu gatherings can be nice, it is not something that busy lawyers can rely on. Instead, people with busy calendars need a plan. If you prioritize celebration, show you value it by planning it out.

2. Celebration Requires a Shared Experience

The second element, the shared experience, is of course the most essential. Even though it is non-billable time, most of my team make the time to come to our practice group meetings. This is in part because we like to talk to each other and hear from each other. We work in separate offices across a few states and don’t always get to see each other face-to-face.

All of us can celebrate victories and wins and getting through difficult times by ourselves. Doing so in the practice group meeting meant we got to do it together, and that made it better. As much as lawyers are around people every day, let’s not forget that loneliness and isolation are common for us.

For this reason, any chance to bring lawyers together for real community is a good thing. This is why a shared experience is essential to celebration.

Image listing 4 essential ingredients of celebration for lawyers shared in the article

3. Celebration Should Be Fun

The third element, fun, should also not be overlooked. Fun had to be added in this situation, because if it wasn’t, it would just be another practice group call. If we didn’t add something fun, it wouldn’t be special. It would be another work meeting and not a celebration. In this case, the drink made the call more fun and took it in the realm of celebration.

I have written about alcohol before, and so we had to make sure that the cocktail element didn’t overshadow the intent. For this reason, I was glad the group did not put pressure on anyone to participate in a way that was not fun for them. The leaders in my group did this by telling everyone the could bring a cocktail or mocktail as their drink.

Regardless of whether their drink contained alcohol, everyone had fun with their drinks. Some even came up with creative names for their drinks or used a special glass. I decided to add a personal charcuterie board to my champagne. Everyone had a good time explaining whatever they chose to drink.

The point here is that celebration needs to be fun. Do something a little different or special to note the occasion and lighten the mood and it can turn a meeting into a celebration.

4. Lawyers Don’t Have Time for Extra Work

The fourth element: it did not require extra work. No one had to prepare anything or make time for an extra meeting on their calendar. Instead, we used the time already available and just decided to dedicate some of it to celebration. This increased the chances that we could all participate and really celebrate the occasion.

Sometimes law firms and companies get into trouble because they try to do celebratory events, which require a lot of work from their employees. Sometimes this effort is worth it, and sometimes it is not. When you’re planning celebrations at your office, be sure that it isn’t forced fun. Make it real fun that doesn’t require too much work or force participation at the detriment of the people who will enjoy it.

Celebration Should Be a Habit for Lawyers Instead of a Rarity

Here is my big point with this post. I shared this simple experience about a celebration for at work to show how simple it can be. Sometimes lawyers don’t celebrate because we think we’re too busy, and we think we don’t have the energy. This post shares an example of a way to celebrate with other lawyers in the office that doesn’t take extra time or extra work.

Of course, lawyers may not be able to celebrate every tiny thing or do it every day. But if we keep these tips in mind, we can make celebration a regular occurrence in our places of work and lives. And the more we make connection, happiness, joy a priority, the happier and healthier we may become.

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Cultivating Equanimity: A Lawyer’s Guide to Feedback

I have had a few encounters with feedback recently. Most lawyers (and most people for that matter) have a love-hate relationship with feedback. We know we need it to learn and grow, but actually hearing it can be a double-edge sword.

When an appraisal is positive, we may feel proud and feel validated. But when the assessment is middling to negative, we can feel deflated, defeated, and hurt.

Can mindfulness help lawyers navigate receiving feedback? You bet. This post will explain how and offer some steps to help you implement it for yourself.

Feedback and The Eight Worldly Winds

Feedback seems like a fact of modern life. Even if you aren’t looking for a rating of yourself, you may find it by doing the most basic things. Most lawyers have LinkedIn profiles that allow others to recommend them. If you avoid LinkedIn, you probably still use some social media that allows people to rate how they like your posts or comments.

This constant evaluation can be troubling for sure, but it isn’t new. In fact, humans have always rated, judged, and reacted to each other. If you doubt me, you might consider the Buddhist teachings on the eight worldly winds.

These include:

Praise and blame
Gain and loss
Pleasure and pain
Success and failure

Of course, these are the manifestations of impermanence in everyday life. Good things come and go and so do bad things. Nothing lasts forever, they each blow around us, much like the wind.

Cultivating Equanimity Helps

To say that these things are “like the wind” is not to suggest that we can simply ignore them. Sure, we may not notice when a gentle breeze rolls by, but any of us can get knocked or slowed down by a storm or hefty gust.

And that’s the point of the teaching of the eight worldly winds: we can’t control them but we can learn how to live with them. The way to live with these worldly winds of life is equanimity. For more on this as applied to giving and receiving feedback, check out the book Confidence by Ethan Nichtern.

Equanimity is a trait that implies relative stability and calm amidst changing circumstances. It does not mean apathy or numbness. Instead, it means acceptance and skillful navigation through pleasant, neutral, and difficult situations.

Part of the skill here, though, can be hard but essential to learn. That part is clinging or resistance. Most people, including us lawyers, usually cling to the pleasant things but resist the bad things.

Image listing 4 mindful steps
to help lawyers accept feedback with equanimity as shared in the blog post

Why Feedback Is Hard for Lawyers

This is where feedback can be challenging. Even though many of us claim to be above such things, most lawyers care deeply about our reputations and social status. There is good reason for this too. Our reputations matter to the success of our law practices and can even affect our ability to serve our clients.

As a result, it is only natural that lawyers would crave, cling to and strive for positive ratings of our performance or character. On the other hand, we will also dislike, actively avoid, and resist negative evaluations. Or we may try to block all these feelings and live with a buried sense of imposter syndrome.

Given this, it may sound unattainable that any lawyer could ever bring a sense of equanimity to getting feedback. But the truth is that we can build this trait, just like we can build the traits of mindfulness and compassion.

Steps for Responding to Feedback with Equanimity

As I have written before, meditation practice goes a long way in cultivating the trait of equanimity. Every time you bring your wandering mind back to the breath or pause before scratching an itch, you are building patience. In each tiny moment like this, you are creating equanimity by choosing to not react in a huge way to every issue that comes along.

Even so, some types of feedback may require a bit more attention and skill. After years of meditation, I am the first to say that feedback still can get to me. All of us may need a framework to help us navigate reviews, ratings and assessments of ourselves with kindness and skill. Here are the steps that help me.

1. Don’t Argue or Gush

Because feedback is so likely to activate our egos, one of the easiest ways to get stuck with it is by arguing with or wallowing in it. Negative ratings may push us to argue the facts underlying it or challenge the intent or credibility of the reviewer. Positive ratings may have the opposite effect, causing us to obsess and puff up the meaning or importance of the assessment.

This is why one of the best ways to promote equanimity and your own sanity is to just receive the feedback for exactly what it is. Don’t add on to it or try to diminish it unfairly. As much as you can, just hear it or see it for what it is.

2. Allow Your Feelings

Of course, receiving feedback is bound to produce feelings. Equanimity does not mean blocking or resisting your feelings. Far from it. True equanimity means accepting your feelings for what they are. That means giving yourself the time and space you need to allow your feelings without doing violence to yourself or others.

That means you can feel hurt or angry or defensive when you receive a negative rating. It also means you are allowed to feel happy, grateful, and proud when someone praises you or your performance.

The important thing to understand, though, is that these feelings, like all feelings, are temporary. Let them come and let them go and recognize that no amount of good or bad feedback will make any feelings last forever.

Image with quote from blog post that says "Mindfulness is not a magic pill that can make the worldly winds of life go away. But with time and practice, it may help you cultivate equanimity an essential trait for navigating ups and downs in life and work."

3. Keep Perspective

Another thing that makes feedback challenging is that we don’t always request or consent to it. To make things worse, much of the feedback we receive may be offered thoughtlessly or unskillfully.

As I mentioned, lawyers may be subject to many kinds of feedback that are brief, perfunctory, and casual. Even when an evaluation is more thorough and well thought out, it still remains a singular data point rather than a final referendum on our character. One of the ways that we can help ourselves not get hooked with every rating or review is to keep them in perspective.

Primarily, I do this by putting it in a context by considering the following factors:

Was the feedback relevant, timely, and offered with good intent?
Did I explicitly or implicitly request the assessment?
Did the review provide useful and practical information or did it appear to rate me as a person?
Was the assessment consistent with other assessments I have received or was it an outlier?
Would I provide feedback like the rating I received to someone whose growth and development mattered to me?

This is a rough outline of questions that help me put feedback in perspective. More “yes” answers to these questions suggest feedback that deserves more of my attention. If I answer most or all of the questions in the negative, that is a strong sign I just need to move on and let go.

4. Learn What You Can and Move On

Even though they can challenge us, evaluations from others really can help us learn and grow. In truth, not everyone will tell you what they really think. This is why, most of the time, feedback can be valuable even if we have to take it with a large grain of salt.

For this reason, the last step before moving on is take whatever lessons you can from the evaluation. With skillfully offered feedback that you have requested, this may be easy. You may get practical ideas about how to adjust or improve.

For ratings that are more generic or less skillful, the lesson may be as simple as slow down, choose your words carefully, or you can’t please everyone. In short, if there is a message in the feedback that you need to hear, take it, reflect on it, and then move on.

Conclusion

In the end, there is no secret recipe for being unbothered and unaffected when lawyers get feedback. That’s because mindfulness practice is not about checking out on life, but being more present in it. All of us are wired to crave praise and resist and reject blame. We want people to like us and think well of us and we don’t want them to tell us negative information about ourselves or our performance.

Mindfulness is not a magic pill that can make the worldly winds of life go away. But with time and practice, it may help you cultivate equanimity an essential trait for navigating ups and downs in life and work. By using the steps offered in this post, I hope you can bring equanimity to your next encounter with feedback.

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How to Accept a Lack of Control: Mindfulness for Lawyers

Acceptance is one of the hardest aspects of mindfulness training for lawyers to learn. Or at least this has been the hardest part for me. Many lawyers, myself included, are control freaks and for good reason.

Attorneys have immense power to shape the destiny for clients. You can solve a problem with a phone call. You can craft a strategy that may protect your client’s life, family, or business. You have specialized training and experience that positions you to see subtle things that others miss.

Inevitably, though, situations arise in which your control is limited. This can be shocking, frustrating, and painful for lawyers. The good news is that mindfulness practice is directed at helping us accept things in life we cannot control. This post explains how.

Breathe and pause

When lawyers face a situation beyond our control, it can trigger a variety of emotional responses. We may feel frustration, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, helplessness, or anxiety. We may worry what our clients or firm will think and feel like we are letting everyone down.

These experiences are challenging in themselves, but more significantly can derail our legal strategy if they are left unchecked. Ever seen a fellow lawyer react emotionally and make unforced errors as a result? As a litigator, I have seen this too many times.

The first step for dealing with a lack of control as a lawyer is to take a pause. When you notice the emotions rising, in the form of body tension, heat in your face and neck, or rapid spiraling thoughts, stop what you are doing.

Take a few moments to sit. If you have a mindfulness practice, using a mindfulness practice, such as breath focus, may also help. Notice that you are escalated and take some time to soothe yourself and calm down. If you are very escalated, a walk or mindful movement practice may help too.

Allow your feelings

Once you have calmed down sufficiently, the next step is to allow your feelings. When lawyers confront a lack of control in our cases, it can sometimes raise an inconvenient secondary problem: a lack of control over our emotions.

The thing is, though, that emotions aren’t really things we are supposed to control. From the perspective of mindfulness, we can’t force ourselves to feel any certain way or to stay calm and never feel at all.

Instead, the better approach is to honor our emotions so we can understand the wisdom they have to offer. The key is to do this without letting them force us into harmful actions.

Practices to Help Lawyers Allow Emotions

To that end, when emotions arise for lawyers, it is important to learn to allow them in a safe and kind way. One approach that works for me is to simply feel them in the body. Usually when I can do this, I can recognize the emotion better and keep my mind from spiraling too much.

Another great approach is to use a practice like RAIN that can help you allow and investigate emotions calmly. If I am struggling with self-judgment about my emotions, I invoke the self-compassion step common humanity to remind myself that all lawyers experience difficulties in cases from time to time.

For complex emotions, you may need some additional time to reflect, seek help from friends, or even write to understand how you feel. Though this step can be hard to do, it is one that can help lawyers care for themselves while maintaining stability in a challenging situation.

Image that shares the four mindfulness steps to help lawyers accept a lack of control that were shared in the article

Reflect on past experiences

When lawyers face a lack of control in our cases, our own emotions are only half of the problem. Even once we have returned to calm, we still have to craft a strategy for continuing to serve our clients in the midst of a complex situation.

One problem that can arise when you approach the limits on your control as a lawyer is that your mind may begin spinning false stories. It may tell you that the situation is hopeless. It may shame you or attempt to blame others. It can get stuck in outrage and scheming about revenge.

The antidote to this that works for me is to remember my past experiences. As a seasoned lawyer, I am fortunate (or unfortunate?) to have a collection of memories where my own control was limited in past cases. And you know what? My clients and I got through those situations just fine.

In many ways, law practice is about being flexible enough to navigate situations with clients in rapidly changing circumstances. Reflecting on past times where I did this successfully helps me remember how creative, resourceful, and resilient I am when needed. It inspires hope, determination, and calm.

For newer lawyers who don’t have a ready bank of memories like this, it may help instead to seek counsel and support from more experienced lawyers. Another option that I sometimes use is to look to stories from other inspirational lawyers from contemporary times or history.

Shift Attention to What You Can Control

Lawyers sometimes misunderstand what “acceptance” means in the context of mindfulness practice. People misinterpret it frequently to mean resignation, apathy, or giving up. While in some ways, surrender is a part of acceptance that does not mean succumbing to helplessness.

Wisdom and discernment are also part of acceptance. Sure, acceptance in law practice means truly acknowledging that there are some aspects of our client matters that we cannot control.

Lawyers can’t control what a judge, hearing officer, or other party does. In some situations, we can’t even control our clients. The best we can do is counsel and advise, but clients ultimately make their own choices.

But the fact of limits on our control does not mean that we have no control. When we accept a lack of control in one area, the good news is that it allows us to direct our attention more specifically to what we can control.

Image with definition of "acceptance" shared in the article which is "A mindfulness concept lawyers often misunderstand to mean resignation, apathy, or giving up. It includes wise and discerning surrender to present facts with the aim of identifying and refocusing attention and effort on things within one’s control."

How to Shift Attention to What You Can Control

This for lawyers is the gold buried underneath all the angst that a lack of control creates. When we can wade through the frustration, anxiety, and anger, we can see more clearly that we still have some power.

Shifting attention to what we can control as a lawyers is how we reclaim that power. In my opinion, this is the space where we can offer the most value to clients. Though there are roadblocks, we may recall the things still within our power to move through or around those roadblocks.

Some ways to do this include answering questions like this:

What is the best strategy I can create to navigate the setback in this case?
What things are still within my power to help and guide my client?
What resources, including other staff, are within my power to help and guide my client?
Assuming I could still achieve a great result for my client despite the difficulty so far, how might I achieve it?
What unique skills, traits, or assets do I have as a lawyer to help my client in this situation?

A Lack of Control Is Not Easy to Accept but It Is Essential to Learn

Let’s face it. Lawyers will never enjoy it when they encounter a lack of control in their cases. Mindfulness practices, however, can help us find acceptance and peace in navigating such situations for our clients. By learning take a pause, honor our emotions, reflect on our values and experience, lawyers can return their focus to the things within their control. This can help us find stability and the courage to offer value to our clients in the times when it is needed most.

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Taking It Easy This Well-Being Week in Law

For the first time in a few years, I am looking forward to a relatively easy Well-Being Week in Law. In case you didn’t know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The first week of the month is appropriately dedicated to promoting well-being in the legal profession. As a mindfulness teacher, this is often a busy week for me.

But, as a school lawyer too, this time of year is otherwise hectic for me. I have a few nice events lined up this week, which I share below. In addition, I am looking forward to some rest after a busy April and a lot of speaking engagements.

Guiding Meditation with the Mindfulness in Law Society

Image showing dates when founder Claire E. Parsons is leading virtual sits for the Mindfulness in Law Society from May to August 2026

The first event for the week is easy and enjoyable for me. On Wednesday, May 6th at 5 PM, I will guide the virtual sit for the Mindfulness in Law Society. I have been involved with the Mindfulness in Law Society for a few years now. Having worked with the group for so long, I now get a strong sense of community from it.

If you have never attended one of the virtual sits before, Well-Being Week in Law is a great week to try it out. For one thing, it is very beneficial to support your meditation practice with sitting in community. In addition, the Mindfulness in Law Society virtual sits are free to attend, easy to access, and led by trained teachers.

To access the sessions, you can find more details and the link to join on my events page. Even if you are very new to meditation practice, the session this week will be perfect at beginners and refreshing for experienced meditators. Since my personal theme this week is keeping things simple and taking it easy, I’ll be guiding a practice with built in breaks.

If you are a lawyer, law student, law professor, or work for a court system or law firm, please join the session.

Interview for the Thriving in Law Summit

Banner for The First Annual Thriving in Law Virtual Summit, May 28–31, 2026, to help lawyers find ways to support their well-being.

On Friday, I will also be talking about one of my favorite topics: self-compassion with fellow lawyer and coach, Gina Steele. Gina asked me to record an interview with her for her Thriving in Law Summit. I love the title she selected, “Becoming a Badass Lawyer: How Self-Compassion and Compassion Towards Others Helps Lawyers Succeed and Thrive.”

In the session, Gina and I will discuss how essential self-compassion and compassion for others are to law practice. We’ll also discuss how real lawyers in the midst of stress and busy lives can cultivate compassion.

I have not known Gina for long, but I found her easy to grounded, easy to talk to, and real. Our conversation will be great for lawyers who want actionable steps for taking better care of themselves and others as they do difficult but important work.

In case you are struggling with conference season like I have been, you may be pleased to know that the Thriving in Law Summit is virtual and free to attend. You must register for access at the link above or on my events page.

How I Plan to Support My Own Well-Being

As a school lawyer, it’s too busy right now for me to take any time off next week. I will be trying my best to take it easy this week otherwise. I still have one more conference later this month. I’ll be ending the month in Boston to speak at the DRI Employment and Labor Law Seminar.

In the intervening weeks, I am making a point to rest as much as I can. This week, I plan to work at home a few days. This will leave me some extra time to do the restorative activities that help me recharge. Most certainly, in addition to meditation, this will include cooking, getting outside, exercise, and lots of sleep. If I am lucky, I may find the energy to do some writing, including on my forthcoming novel.

However, you plan to spend the week, I hope it is one that supports your well-being and the wellness of those around you.

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Compassion in Action: A Lawyer’s Experience with Bone Marrow Donation

Image of Tiffany Blackmon while making a bone marrow donation with title of blog post that says "Compassion in Action: A Lawyer's Experience with Bone Marrow Donation"

Fouder’s Note: I have written before about how we are the first people to benefit when we show compassion for others. This interview shows how true this is. I know Tiffany Blackmon through a Facebook group for lawyer moms. It was easy to see right away that Tiffany was civic-minded and had a generous spirit that exceeded the bounds of her law practice. Recently, I saw her post about making a life-saving bone marrow donation and I asked her to do an interview here. I hope you enjoy reading her story of courage and compassion.

Q: Tell me about yourself and your law practice.

I’ve represented clients in Social Security cases, worked in insurance defense, and served as a career law clerk before moving into my current role as General Counsel for Cascadia Health, the largest community-based behavioral health and substance use treatment services organization in Oregon.

In my current role, I oversee the legal, compliance, and housing departments within the organization, and enjoy the opportunity to work on a wide array of work, including privacy work, AI governance, and representing the organization in administrative hearings and other matters.

Outside of work, I stay busy raising 3 kids, and I’m an active volunteer with the PTA and Junior League of Portland. I enjoy traveling (working on visiting all 50 states before I turn 40!), trying new restaurants, and attending art and theatre events in my free time.

Q: How did you learn about and get involved with bone marrow donation?

I saw an article shared on social media about how the bone marrow donor registry needed an array of diverse donors. It explained that the markers used to match a donor and a patient are inherited based on ancestry- making it far more likely a patient will be compatible with a donor who is from the same ethnic background.

I thought that was really interesting, and started looking into the topic more. My research revealed that only 30% of patients have a family member who is a compatible donor, which is why registries are so necessary. After talking with family and friends about what I had learned and the donor registry, and decided to join the registry myself.

Getting on the registry was a simple process. I completed a form online, and received a box in the mail that only required swabbing my cheek and sending it back in. Over the years, I then received a couple check-ins over the years to confirm my contact information/interest, but no work was required on my end to remain on the registry.

Q: What was the bone marrow donation experience like for you?

It was a great learning experience. Reading all the materials that the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) sent, and talking with their staff helped me gain so much knowledge. It had been seven years since joining the registry before I was matched with a patient. It was exciting to receive the call that I had matched with someone after the long waiting period.

I went through the initial screening call, labs, and a physical exam before being cleared to donate. For the days leading up to the donation, a nurse came to my home to give me Filgrastim injections that are needed to help increase stem cell production. The side effects of the injections were not too severe for me, with just one day of more significant fatigue requiring a nap.

I traveled from Portland, OR up to Seattle, where I was scheduled to donate. NMDP coordinates the travel, and helps support you through the whole process. You’re able to bring a companion with you, and my mother was able to travel with me to help with transportation after the donation. We spent a day at the donation site (the donations typically take 4-6 hours, though mine took 8 hours). There was also some time to explore Seattle, a city I always love to visit. I was sore after the donation, but able to travel home the next day.

Image of lawyer Tiffany Blackmon with quote from interview that says "It felt impactful to be able to make a difference in this tangible way: bone marrow donation. How amazing is it that a few injections, and a few visits to medical offices on my part can save someone's life?"

Q: What did you gain from the experience of making a bone marrow donation?

It was a really positive experience to get to help someone else in such a significant way. When I explained to my kids what I was doing, I explained I was helping someone who we didn’t know, who was my dad’s age. They understood that I may be helping someone else’s grandpa, and they thought that was really cool. It was such a learning experience to get to talk through with them, and I think it had a positive impact on them and I hope inspires them to donate someday.

I’ve also enjoyed being able to connect with other donors, and learn about their experiences. It’s amazing to see how many people have donated to strangers-not just in our country, but all over the world. The staff are also passionate about the work, and that added to the experience, being able to be surrounded by a team of people who are all so dedicated to helping others is a unique and great experience to have.

Q: As a busy lawyer and parent, how did you find the time to do the donation?

NMDP works with you to schedule the donation, and my employer was supportive in helping me be able to fit the time off into my schedule. I worked from home when needed. One of the days I was too sore and fatigued from the injections to go into the office, so that really helped.

I have family members who live with chronic medical conditions, and have worked with numerous people with untreatable or incurable conditions. There are a lot of medical issues and other situations that we have no control over and cannot do anything about. Although there are still many ways I can’t make a difference, it felt impactful to be able to make a difference in this tangible way. How amazing is it that a few injections, and a few visits to medical offices on my part can save someone’s life?

Q: What is one lesson from the experience that you want other lawyers to know?

While it can be stressful to take time off of work to donate, or to impact community members in other ways, such as through volunteering, it is so worth it. It’s a great opportunity to get out of the office, meet other people who are positively impacting others in ways beyond what we see in the legal field, and remind ourselves that there is so much life outside of work.

Q: What resources relating to bone marrow donation do you want to share?

This page has a lot of great information available:Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) | Blood Stem Cell

NMDP has additional information available, and the details on how to join the registry: Join the donor registry | NMDP (Formerly Be The Match)

For expectant parents, cord blood can also be donated: Options for Umbilical Cord Blood Banking & Donation | Blood Stem Cell

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Mindfulness Insights for Lawyers from the Latest Podcast

Lawyers can learn a lot about mindfulness from reading. I wouldn’t have started this blog if that weren’t true. But there really is no substitute for good conversations when it comes to learning how mindfulness really works. That’s why I am thrilled this week to share the latest podcast interview I did.

Odette Ansell is a lawyer in Canada and she started the Non-Billable Hours Podcast to share wisdom about how lawyers can craft thriving lives. I sat down with her recently to talk about my mindfulness practice and how it has supported my law practice over the years.

I really like the episode and not just because Odette made it fun and let me talk about my next book. What I liked most was that her questions really helped me explain how mindfulness practice works for lawyers. Here are a few of the highlights.

Lawyers Can Start a Mindfulness Practice at One Minute a Day

Most podcast interviews asked me how I got into mindfulness. Because the interviewer for this podcast was another lawyer, she asked me about the details of my practice. In the interview, I shared that I started meditating at one minute a day.

This is absolutely true because it was all I could tolerate at the time. This is also the way I teach mindfulness to other lawyers now. I stress the importance of starting small. In addition, I teach the one-minute method in my first book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer.

The biggest impediment to regular meditation practice for most lawyers, myself included, is lack of time. But in the midst of such business we often assume that small amounts of time don’t make a difference.

As I explain in the podcast, starting small has many advantages. And the reality is that even small practices done over time can change our lives. When it comes to meditation, it definitely changed mine.

Image of Claire E. Parsons with quote from the podcast interview about mindfulness for lawyers that says "You can't solve anxiety by thinking."

How Mindfulness Helps with Anxiety

One of my favorite parts of the interview was when Odette and I talked about mindfulness and anxiety. It took me years to face my own anxiety because I believed for too long in the power of my own thinking.

Many lawyers find themselves in this same problem. We are smart people and thinking solves many problems for us. So, when we get scared about something, it is only logical to use the skill we know so well, right?

Though it was painful for me to see this, I ultimately learned the truth. As I shared on the podcast, anxiety is not something you can really solve with thinking. In fact, sometimes the thinking makes it worse. As I experienced, trying to solve anxiety with thinking just led to unhealthy overthinking.

Instead, what has helped me more is letting myself feel the fear behind the anxiety. Truly this means feeling the physical sensations because emotions often register in the body. Then I can care for the emotions and employ self-compassion. It’s only then that my thinking becomes clearer and more helpful.

Mindfulness and Facing “What If” Questions

Another favorite part of the interview was when Odette asked me about the dreaded “what if” questions that arise for lawyers. She shared a worry about appearing before a strict judge and most lawyers can resonate with that.

The strategy I shared in the interview was to answer the “what if” question instead of fearing it. As I wrote here when I faced anxiety with public speaking, it can help to get super practical about these questions.

Sometimes we ask ourselves these “what if” questions as if it’s game over if one thing goes wrong. That’s almost never true. In truth, we sometimes can entertain these worrisome thoughts and forget that lawyers are trained problem solvers.

As I have written before, it can sometimes help to “quantify the suck.” If I am calm enough to think practically, this means I answer the “what if” questions and think through what I would actually do if the worst happened. When I am practical, this reminds me that I have skills, resilience, and people who can help me if I need it.

Image that says "Anxiety Tip: if you are calm enough to be practical, just answer the 'what if' question. This can help you remember that you are creative, resilient, and have people who can help you."

Simple Ways for Lawyers to Start Meditation

To end the interview, Odette asked me how lawyers can get started with mindfulness. I shared in the interview that lawyers should not feel like they have to be “true believers” to get started. In fact, skepticism about meditation can sometimes be a blessing when it is held in moderation.

Even so, lawyers have to practice meditation to get benefits from it. To that end, I recommended that lawyers do what they can to make the practice pleasant. As I shared in the interview, difficulty in meditation practice is how we build skills and grow. This is good because it means we shouldn’t stress about making our practice perfect.

On the other hand, though, if you enjoy meditation practice it is much more likely that you will want to do it consistently. For those lawyers new to meditation practice, it really helps to be easy and gentle with oneself. This can include some time sitting outside on a nice day or even a movement practice like walking meditation.

How to Listen to the Podcast Episode

If you want to listen to the podcast episode, you have several options. You can listen to it here on:

Or you can you can listen to it on YouTube here.

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