Category Archives: Mindfulness Basics

How I Learned to Love Walking Meditation

Picture of feet walking on a path outside with blog post title "How I Learned to Love Walking Meditatin"

I have noticed something strange recently with my mindfulness practice. Out of nowhere, I started doing more walking meditation. To my complete surprise, I actually like it. This is quite a shock because I have historically not enjoyed this practice at at all. I usually only tried it on retreat.

Many other mediators share my aversion to walking meditation. It is a practice that feels strange to do. In addition, the usefulness of it may seem unclear. Even so, mindful movement remains an essential tool in the self-care toolkit.

This post explains why and how I came around to the practice and how you can explore it for yourself.

What Is Walking Meditation?

As I have explained before, walking meditation is not just taking a walk. Instead, it is a practice intended to cultivate mindfulness as you move. With this practice, you are encouraged to pay close attention to the act of walking.

Practice instructions usually include selecting a safe space of about 10 to 20 feet to pace slowly back and forth. As you take each step, your attention should be with the sensations in your body, often specifically in your feet.

The movement of your body is the focal point for this style of meditation. In this way, as you take a step with your left foot, you are encouraged to feel and notice that. Similarly, as your weight shifts and you take a step with you right foot, your attention follows along.

As always, if your mind wanders the practice is simply to notice it and return to your steps.

Why Walking Meditation Can Be a Challenge

Though the practice is simple, many people new to meditation find it challenging. One reason is that it feels awkward. Lawyers tend to take ourselves seriously, so this is hard for us. In addition, as a practical matter, you may feel wobbly walking very slowly. If you try the practice in a group, doing it it in front other people may make you feel self-conscious.

Another challenge is that your mind may wander even more with movement. Focusing on the breath is hard, but we often do that with eyes closed and minimal distractions. When you walk, safety generally requires you to open your eyes and be aware of your surroundings. Since there are more distractions, focus may be more difficult with walking meditation.

Finally, I have also struggled at times to find motivation with this practice. With sitting meditation, my intention was apparent but I sometimes regarded walking meditation as a second best practice. I did the practice just to move because it could not sit all day. In this way, it can be hard to truly engage with in the process of cultivating mindfulness through walking.

Image listing six situations to try to walking meditation as shared in the blog post

How Lawyers Can Use Walking Meditation Outside of Retreat

Despite all my misgivings, I have come around to walking meditation. Sure, many experiences with retreat have helped the practice feel more natural to me. Even outside of retreats, though, I keep finding reasons where I need to walk and meditate instead of just sit. As you can see, these situatiosn are common ones that other lawyers are likely to experience.

Here are several examples:

Tips for Lawyers Trying Out this Mindfulness Practice

If after reading this list, you want to add more movement to your mindfulness practice, here are some tips for getting started.

First, start with small doses. Though lawyers tends to be very disciplined, don’t force yourself to do lengthy periods at first. Don’t assume that you can or should do walking meditation for the same duration as your sitting practice. Instead, notice how your mind and body feel as you practice. Then select a practice period that works for you. This will help you learn the practice without developing a strong aversion to it.

Next, let the practice support you. Mindfulness shouldn’t be an extra chore or item on your to-do list. Lawyers are already busy enough. Instead, it can and should be a practice that supports your life. As the examples above illustrate, look for ways that walking meditation can help you deal with life. That will provide intrinsic practice motivation and may give you a chance to learn about the practice and yourself.

Finally, as I always say, play with it and have fun if you can. Meditation is an important practice but that doesn’t mean it has to be serious business. You are encouraged to smile and relax. You are allowed to laugh at yourself if you wobble. A playful mind is an open mind, so keep things light if you can.

Image listing 3 tips for lawyers trying walking meditation including start small, let the practice support you, and play/relax/have fun.

This Practice Is an Important Tool in Your Mindfulness Toolkit

For many lawyers and professionals, myself included, walking meditation is an acquired taste. It may take several attempts or several years until we feel like we can do the practice well. Even so, variety and options are essential for any lasting mindfulness practice. Walking meditation is a great way for lawyers to cultivate mindfulness in times when they can’t sit or don’t want to simply sit. It’s a practice that can take time to learn. Once you do, though, you may learn to love it.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Understanding Boredom: How Mindfulness Can Help

Image of a lawyer looking disengaged in front of laptop with title of post "Understanding Boredom: How Mindfulness Can Help"

I’ve been grappling with boredom recently. This may surprise you, but I hate being bored. Yes, I know I meditate daily and teach mindfulness. My role is to help other people face restlessness as they learn meditation.

But I have to be honest. Like most lawyers, I prefer being active and engaged. I want to be juggling many things. I like having a lot to do. When I don’t have enough stimulation, I struggle.

This is a common problem for many lawyers and professionals. The good news is that mindfulness can help. This post will explain what is going on when we are bored and offer a few steps to help you cope.

What Is Boredom?

Have you ever stopped to really take notice of what is happening when you’re bored? For most of us, the answer to this question is a clear “no.” Who would ever look closer when they feel restless?

The reason we don’t do this is that restlessness usually arises when we are sick of our present situation. For this reason, boredom can manifest is several ways. It can trigger anger, frustration, sadness, or even depression or low energy. All of these emotions arise to tell us we want a change–any change–from our present situation.

On the other hand, when we decide something is boring there is always a judgment. When we are bored, we have implicitly decided that a situation or pastime to be inadequate. The source of this alleged deficiency could be anything at all. Regardless of what it is, when you’re bored, there is some aversion to your current situation.

Recognize When Boredom Arises

The first step to dealing with restlessness is to recognize when it arises. Sometimes this is obvious. Sometimes it’s not. Most of us know the classic signs when we find things tedious. These can include fidgeting, distractibility, evasive behaviors, and even agitation.

We can also have more subtle reactions to being bored. This can be an issue for lawyers because we often deal with dry and tedious subjects at work. Some of us may train ourselves to not pay attention when we experience boredom.

Even though a situation without much going on seems like it should be safe to ignore, it’s not . Chronic boredom can lead to other problems, including mental health challenges, and risky behaviors. It can also be a symptom of bigger concerns.

Is Boredom Really Bad?

When you see that you are bored, the first thing you may want to do is seek out something more stimulating to do. If that’s an option, go ahead and take it as long as the activity is a safe and healthy one.

If your restlessness doesn’t dissipate so quickly, though, you may need to dig deeper. This may first require you to clarify what is making you feel bored. This may sound a sit silly but it’s a literal question. As I said earlier, when we feel bored we are implicitly judging a situation, task, or aspect of our lives. In doing so, we are assuming that something is wrong or bad.

But is it truly always bad when we encounter a situation that is less stimulating? To be honest, many lawyers (myself included) probably need a slower pace from time to time. Even so, we may not enjoy it when slower times arrive. This can be from habit, anxiety relating to productivity or billable hours, or any number of reasons.

So one really simple question to ask when you are bored is this: is it truly bad? In other words, separate the facts, the reality of less activity and stimulation, from the judgment that less stimulation is inherently bad.

Image with mindfulness check for lawyers about boredom which asks if a period of less stimulation or activity is truly a bad thing?

Can Lawyers Accept the Gift of Extra Time?

Boredom can be very hard for lawyers because our time is literally money. If things slow down at work, it can create real worries about financial issues and the health of our firms. Even so, law practice ebbs and flows just like other things in life. If we never slow down, that can create huge problems in our health, personal life, and eventually at work.

In periods where I have been bored, I have usually come to see those times as gifts. I won’t lie to you and tell you that I did so swiftly or gracefully. No, in general I have whined and complained for far too long until finally accepting that things were outside of my control.

When I did, though, I usually saw that the slow period was a great opportunity. It gave me a chance to focus on business development efforts, tackle projects I had put off at home, spend time with family, or cultivate hobbies that mattered to me like writing. Or perhaps the slowness was just a chance to catch up on much needed rest.

Taking advantage of the gift of time in this way is only possible when we let go of our judgments. In this way, at least bringing a sense of neutrality to the experience of boredom can help us move past it.

Let Go of Judgment to Identify the Real Issue

Sometimes, though, it isn’t enough to simply reframe a lack of stimulation as an opportunity. That’s because stimulation and activity are human needs. If in response to the question above about whether the situation is truly bad, your answer is “yes” then you should address the problem.

The good news is that taking the time to separate habitual reaction from practical need will help you do that. If your restlessness is a function of temporary preference, it may be easily resolved by simple patience.

When the situation lasts longer, you may have to evaluate personal needs and craft a plan for meeting them. This could mean having a conversation at work about tasks, work load and priorities. It could also mean looking at your personal life to consider whether you need to plan more engaging activities for yourself.

Either way, taking a closer look at boredom is what can help us determine how to meet our own needs. This can mean feeling the emotions that arise when we are bored and evaluating the circumstances that lead to restlessness. Doing these things can help us meet our own needs and address the culprit underlying our restlessness.

Boredom Is Tough for Lawyers but Mindfulness Can Help

Boredom is a challenging experience for lawyers since they are accustomed to being busy and engaged in life and work. Mindfulness can help us look closer at this tricky experience to learn about ourselves, meet our own needs, and cultivate comfort with a slower pace.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Five Reasons to Stop Judging Yourself for Using Guided Meditations

Image of woman meditating with headphones on in a living room with title of post "Five Reasons to Stop Judging Yourself for Using Guided Meditations"

When I speak to lawyers about mindfulness, I’m sometimes asked about guided meditations. I’m not sure why, but some people have the idea that using guided meditation is somehow not “real” meditation. Allow me to set the record straight: that’s not true.

At least, I don’t think it’s true. Don’t get me wrong. There are advantages to meditating without guiding. I have written about that before. But the fact that unguided meditation offers benefits does not imply that guided meditation is somehow not enough.

If you are giving yourself a hard time about this, keep reading. Here are five reasons why guided meditation is a valid way for lawyers to practice meditation.

1. Guided Meditations Can Help You Explore and Learn Various Practices

I don’t rely on guiding too much in my personal practice anymore, but as a beginner I used them as much as I could. The reason for this was that I did not have very much experience with different practices. And even when I found practices that I loved, like loving-kindness, I hadn’t memorized all of the steps.

After a few years, that changed but only because I had used been practicing so much in recorded mindfulness sessions. That’s my point here.

Guided meditations can help lawyers explore and learn various meditation practices. While I do recommend a simple approach to meditation in general, exploration is great for lawyers too.

Mindfulness is a trait and a tool for life. The best way to figure out what styles and practices support you the most is to experience them. Guided meditations offer this to lawyers and other professionals who want to learn.

2. They Can Help You Keep Your Session on Schedule

One of the biggest issues that prevent lawyers from meditating more is time. A great thing about most guided meditations is that they have built-in timers. Most recorded practices cue you when you are done, so you don’t overstay your session.

This is a real issue with meditation because it is a practice that can encourage spacing out or falling asleep. Because most lawyers access guiding in the form of audio recordings, the end of the practice will usually wake you up.

Some apps, including Peloton, also allow you to put your practice on your calendar. You can select your practices for the week and schedule them so you don’t miss a sit. This is huge for lawyers, who are often motivated by our calendars.

Image of person meditating with headphones on listing 5 Reasons Why Guided Meditations Are Great for Lawyers as discussed in the post

3. Guided Meditations Can Make Practice More Enjoyable

The best kind of meditation is the one that you will do consistently. Based on this, it makes sense to enjoy your time meditating at least a little bit.

Guided meditations can do this in several ways. They may offer background music or soundscapes that can block out distracting sounds. This is important if you live in a noisy part of town or with people or pets who don’t always keep quiet.

The voice of another person guiding you make make practice feel less lonely. Along the same lines, the voice of another person may be soothing and help you relax. If you use meditations from someone you know and trust, following their guiding may help you feel more confident in your practice.

This may help you rest in your practice instead of feeling like you are working too hard. Meditation is hard enough on its own. Using guiding to make it a bit easier is not a cop out. It can be a smart way for lawyers to sustain their practice.

4. Lawyers May Need Practice Accepting Support

If you don’t like the idea of guiding in meditation, it could be possible that you have some issues around accepting help. This is common for many lawyers and it was definitely an issue for me.

The good news, though, is that you can learn to work out of this mindset. Independence is a wonderful virtue. If you are exploring mindfulness, though, I bet you already have this trait. Meditation will not take it away, but it may help you see the various ways in which you do better when you have the right support.

A guided meditation is a tool to support mindfulness practice. It works just like a mat, block, and blanket support a yoga practice. If you use props for yoga or another physical fitness practice, you are likely to see that they don’t detract from practice. Instead, they often make practice better.

Trust me, learning this lesson in meditation is one that translates into life. This is yet another reason why lawyers can feel good about using guiding to support their mindfulness practice.

Image of man meditating outside in headphones with social media post that says "Lawyers, avoid coming up with reasons why your mindfulness practice is not good enough. Using a guided meditation is real meditation."

5. Trained Teachers Offer Guided Meditations for a Reason

As a final attempt to convince you that there is nothing wrong with supporting your practice with guiding, I will appeal to authority. If you take a meditation course or attend a retreat, you are very unlikely to practice in silence on your own the entire time. Instead, most teachers offer some sort of guided meditation.

If you search the internet, you will easily find guided meditations from some of the best meditation teachers in the world. This includes people like Sharon Salzberg, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Thich Nhat Hahn, Pema Chodron, Ethan Nichtern, and more.

Along the same lines, I offer several guided meditations for lawyers on this blog. And I guide virtual sessions for lawyers with the Mindfulness in Law Society at least once a month.

Trained teachers offer these practices because they encourage students to practice and learn. Implicit in this is the idea that using guided meditations is still meditation.

Bottom Line: There Is Nothing Wrong with Using a Guided Meditation

If you are taking the time to practice mindfulness, please do not be hard on yourself. Be wary against listing all the reasons why your practice is not good enough. Practice is hard enough, especially for busy people like lawyers.

As long as the guiding is helping you practice, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just keep practicing and doing what works for you. You can always explore other styles of practice over time if needed, but you shouldn’t feel pressure to do so. Using guided meditations is a legitimate way for lawyers and everyone else to practice mindfulness.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Laughing Through Meditation: Lessons from Josh Johnson

Image on stand-up comic's stool on stage with article title "Laughing Through Meditation: Lessons from Josh Johnson"

I have always been a big fan of stand-up comedy and recently this world has collided with my love of mindfulness. It’s now becoming common for comics to talk about meditation in their sets. Most of the time, I can turn my meditation teacher brain off for long enough to get a good laugh out of them.

But when one of my favorite comics, Josh Johnson, took on meditation I couldn’t resist writing about it. I’m a huge fan of Josh Johnson. I’ve seen his tour, watched his comedy special on HBO, and love his appearances on the Daily Show. Johnson is an excellent storyteller and can make you laugh at the tiniest things.

Recently, my husband sent me one of Johnson’s short clips where he talks about trying meditation. It’s quick and hilarious. You should watch it just to laugh. The other good news is that Johnson’s bit points to several very real struggles in meditation practice.

For those of you who want to laugh and learn, this post walks through Josh Johnson’s two-minute clip on meditation. Then it offers teachings to address the problems he mentions.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up When Your Mind Wanders in Meditation

Johnson starts off his bit by correctly mentioning the teaching that you should avoid beating yourself up when your mind wanders from the breath. Of course, he exaggerates the teaching for comic effect. He says that “you should not, you cannot” beat yourself up when your mind wanders.

In reality, this teaching is offered because it is common for people to berate themselves when their minds wander in meditation. It happens to all of us. For this reason, the teaching is not a prohibition like Johnson implies. Rather, it is a guidepost and an invitation to learn self-compassion.

Stated in a more precise way, the teaching really is that meditation is much easier and more effective when you have a kind inner attitude. If you notice yourself getting upset or engaging self-criticism, that’s okay. There is no need to feel like a failure or criticize that. Instead, the answer is just to recognize that you are doing something hard and go back to the breath.

Image with quote that says "meditation pro tips: don't try too hard. Don't expect a clear mind."

Don’t Expect to Have a “Calm Mind”

About 25 seconds into the clip, Johnson correctly describes the practice of bringing one’s attention back to the breath repeatedly during meditation. But he ends it by saying that the goal or the expected end result is a “calm mind.”

Johnson is doing comedy here, so he doesn’t explain what he means by a “calm mind.” If you watch on, though, you can tell that he is equating a calm mind to a clear mind. Stated more directly, this means a non-thinking mind.

In fact, this is not necessarily the goal of meditation.

Some traditions may make this the goal and some teachers even talk about “clear minds” on occasion. For many teachers and traditions (myself included), though, meditation is not about removing thoughts. It does not make thoughts magically disappear and they are not off limits during practice.

Instead, the goal is making peace with thoughts, getting clarity about them, and creating wisdom around them.

Don’t Try Too Hard When You Meditate

With this foundation laid, Johnson dramatically declares that he’s “Going to try to meditate.” He closes his eyes and assumes a stern posture to show how serious he is about it.

Again, this is clearly for comic effect. Even so, it raises a really important point. Johnson is suggesting that good meditation is about being super serious. He’s suggesting that it’s fundamentally about discipline.

If you watch, pause the clip at about 37 seconds and take a look at it. You can see Johnson sitting with his eyes closed tight, appearing like he is trying to force himself to concentrate. Aside from the comic value, this is how a lot of lawyers think meditation is supposed to look.

As I have written before, relaxation, play, and even joy are better approaches. Why? Because you will focus best and learn the most when you are relaxed instead of trying too hard. Discipline matters insofar as you do the practice. But, once you do, ease up, relax, and crack a smile.

Image with quote about meditation that says "Focusing on the breath is not the same as thinking about the breath."

Lotus Pose Is Not Required in Meditation

Next, Johnson attempts the hilarious and impressive feat of demonstrating getting himself into lotus pose while sitting on a stool. This is for laughs and to show how awkward he felt forcing himself this pose for meditation.

Johnson quickly notes, though, that he struggles because he’s not as flexible as he used to be. Then he says his leg fell asleep. Anyone who has meditated for even a few minutes has had these same struggles.

Here’s the truth: meditation can happen in almost any posture. Using a cushion or sitting with legs crossed can be great, but they aren’t required. You can meditate in a chair or you can do so standing or lying down or even walking. Any posture works as long as you feel safe, relaxed, supported, and can stay alert.

In addition, you are allowed to move when you meditate. If your leg falls asleep, the classic teaching is to just notice it. But if it is distracting or uncomfortable enough to really bother you, you are allowed to move. It’s truly okay.

Focusing on the Breath Is Not Thinking about the Breath

Johnson next hilariously showcases a subtle misunderstanding of the directions for breath focus practice. Once he gets himself into position, he says that the object is to “just think about your breath.” He exaggerates this by saying you should “hold onto the ideas of your breath; that’s how you stay present!”

Some teachers and traditions may differ on this, but meditation is not thinking about the breath. Instead, breath focus meditation is about keeping one’s attention with the breath. I teach this to mean feeling the physical sensations of the breath. Other ways of practice also include noting the cycles or parts of the breath.

Thinking about the breath is different than feeling the breath and observing its aspects. When you think about the breath, your awareness is principally in the mind. But when you feel sensations of the breath, your awareness is in the body.

As Johnson comically demonstrates, this distinction matters a lot. All of his thinking about the breath leads inevitably to a long train of thoughts about everything but his breath. This is why it makes a difference to know what your anchor is in meditation. If you know the anchor very precisely, it is easier to stay with and return to your anchor.

Image with quote that says "You probably aren’t doing meditation wrong. The practice is hard. Struggles may be signs you are doing it right. You just might need some support."

What to Do When You See that Your Mind Wandered

Perhaps the funniest part of the clip is when Johnson demonstrates his wandering mind. He goes off on a tangent for about a minute sharing his anxiety about world events. As you can hear, the audience immediately gets it. This is a very relatable thing.

Mind wandering is exactly what you can expect to experience if you try meditation. When you start to notice it, it can be just as hilarious as the mental rant Johnson shared in his clip.

And he announces in dramatic form at the two-minute mark of the clip, “I wandered.” Of course, this is a comedic reckoning. Johnson uses it to show that his pursuit of a calm mind was futile all along and to laugh at himself.

Here’s the thing: the moment where you notice the mind wandering is not a failure. It doesn’t mean you are doing the practice wrong. It means you are doing the practice right because you have seen that your mind is wandering.

In that moment, Johnson woke up from his anxious mental rant. He stopped it. That’s a good thing and a powerful thing once it becomes a trait. The problem was, he didn’t stay with the practice and return to his breath. He judged (in hilarious fashion) the mental pattern. The teaching, of course, is just being kind and going back to the breath.

You Probably Aren’t Doing Meditation Wrong

Of course, Johnson doesn’t do that, at least not in the clip. Instead, he says that “I went ahead and I stopped meditating.” Over the laughter of the audience, he explains that he at least stopped for the time being “Because I was doing it wrong.”

As mentioned above, I think Johnson should give himself more credit. For one thing, his joke make me and lots of other people laugh. In addition, I think he was doing meditation just fine. I don’t think he was truly doing the practice wrong. Instead, as mentioned above, he may have had some expectations about practice that made him think he was doing it wrong.

In addition, the truth is that meditation is not an easy practice to sustain. It’s a simple practice to learn, but it can be hard to sustain. This is because it forces us to confront uncomfortable thoughts and sensations for extended periods of time. For these reasons, struggles in meditation don’t mean you are doing it wrong or it doesn’t work. Struggles can sometimes indicate the opposite.

You Can Always Try Again Later

Johnson says he may try meditation again in the future. Of course, trying again is the only way to learn the practice and see what works best for you.

Because all the struggles Johnson pointed to are common issues, here are a few tips that may make meditation practice a bit easier if you ever decide to start or start again:

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Why Lawyers Should Keep Meditation Simple

Image of post-it note that says "keep it simple" with title of blog post "Why Lawyers Should Keep Meditation Simple"

Keeping things simple is not always easy for lawyers to do. We often like to learn all the things and know all the tricks. When it comes to meditation, I had this problem at first too.

I was so astounded that meditation helped me manage overthinking and anxiety that I had to figure out why. Part of that meant learning about all the mindfulness practices I could to try to put the puzzle pieces together.

This kind of exploration is not bad, but at the end of the day it did not change my daily meditation practice much. After more than a decade, my daily mindfulness routine looks a lot like it did at the beginning.

As I have learned, this is a good thing. Keeping your practice simple is one of the best ways to make it last and to get benefits from meditation. Here are few reasons why.

A Simple Meditation Practice Reduces Decision Fatigue

As I have written before, my practice is truly very simple because I usually sit in silence. At first, I used guided meditations, so I am not shaming it if you do. The reason I quit, though, was that I got sick of trying to find a meditation for practice every day.

This blog illustrates that there are tons of modalities to use to make up a mindfulness practice. But, if you had to pick a practice every day, actual practice might get derailed by decision fatigue.

This is a real concern for lawyers. We rely on discernment every day to help clients make decisions. Delayed gratification is built in our jobs. If our rest time also requires the use of the same mental faculties, it may not really feel like rest.

This is why keeping things simple is essential for mindfulness practice. Once we adopt a single practice or a set regimen, we don’t have to decide. All we have to do is the mindfulness practice itself.

Image of social media post with quote that says "Decision fatigue is a real concern for lawyers. Avoid this by keeping your meditation practice simple. Do the same routine every day and there’s no decision to make. All you have to do is the practice."

Keeping Mindfulness Simple Supports Relaxation without Effort

Another advantage of a simple approach to meditation is that it makes relaxation much easier. If you do the same practice most days, you will more quickly come to associate the practice with calm.

For example, if you do breath focus practice every day, your mind and body will eventually adjust. You may notice that you quickly, and nearly automatically, relax. This may help you enter the meditative state with more ease.

As I have written before, finding enjoyment in your meditation practice is important. Many lawyers think meditation is about discipline and to some degree this is true. But if meditation is mostly discipline, it will be harder to do.

Most lawyers try meditation to manage stress and build happier lives. To that end, it makes sense to build a practice that supports as much relaxation and rest time as possible. This is why keeping your practice siple is important. It lets you spend more time in relaxation and spend less time trying to relax.

A Simple Meditation Practice Builds True Mastery

Meditation is not only good for lawyers because it is a practice we can do that can help us calm down. The most beneficial aspect of mindfulness comes when we don’t have to rely on a practice. By that, I mean meditation can actually help you go take mindfulness from practice to trait.

While there are many ways to practice mindfulness, most of us know that different practices may lead to different results. In this way, spreading your time thin across many different practices may result in a shallow understanding of any one practice.

Picking one or just a few practices when you meditate gives you the chance to go deep. It allows you to build mastery in skills in a way that a more eclectic practice does not. This is because you get more time and more practice repetitions to build experience and wisdom.

Image with mindfulness tip shared in the blog post that says "Doing the same practice or set of practices consistently supports effortless relaxation and calm. Don’t work too hard in meditation. Keep it simple."

You Can Explore Other Mindfulness Practices as Needed Over Time

Now, if your mind is screaming that monogamy in meditation practice is boring or leaves too little room for exploration, calm down. Keeping your meditation practice simple does not mean that it can never change.

Remember that meditation is a practice for life. Ideally this means that you will practice mindfulness for many years, including up to the rest of your life. Having meditated for over a decade, I can say that exploration and shifts in practice are essential.

You can keep your mindfulness practice fresh by trying new things. This is why I have used and teach everything from body scan to loving-kindness to open awareness on this blog. In addition, new challenges in life often emerge that may affect our practice. For instance, if health reasons cause sitting meditation to be a struggle, we might want to try walking meditation or yoga instead.

Even after shifting my practices many times over the years to account for changes in myself or my life, simplicity has been the one constant for me. I have tried and will keep trying all the practices out there. But at the end of the day, I know I can always come back to my simple practice of focusing on my breath or just sitting and letting things arise and fade away.

Exploration is a wonderful way to learn about mindfulness but it is also wonderful to have a stable and consistent practice that feels like home.

Image sharing quote discussed in post that says "Meditation is a practice for life. There will be time to explore and try new things. Most days, it’s best to keep it simple."

Conclusion: Keep Meditation Simple

In short, if you want a strong meditation practice, it is not necessary to have an elaborate one. It is not necessary to know every mindfulness practice there is. It is not even necessary to find the “best” possible style of meditation.

Instead, what works best for lawyers with busy schedules and too many decisions to make at work, is to find the best practice for you. That means the practice that you want to return to day after day. In general, that means a simple practice which includes one or a select few mindfulness practices built into a daily or near daily routine.

Keeping your meditation practice simple won’t make it boring. It will invite relaxation with less effort, build true mastery, and let you spend your time cultivating mindfulness instead of debating what practice to use.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Cultivating Equanimity: A Lawyer’s Guide to Feedback

Image of rating system on a set of stairs with title of blog post "Cultivating Equanimity: A Lawyer's Guide to Feedback"

I have had a few encounters with feedback recently. Most lawyers (and most people for that matter) have a love-hate relationship with feedback. We know we need it to learn and grow, but actually hearing it can be a double-edge sword.

When an appraisal is positive, we may feel proud and feel validated. But when the assessment is middling to negative, we can feel deflated, defeated, and hurt.

Can mindfulness help lawyers navigate receiving feedback? You bet. This post will explain how and offer some steps to help you implement it for yourself.

Feedback and The Eight Worldly Winds

Feedback seems like a fact of modern life. Even if you aren’t looking for a rating of yourself, you may find it by doing the most basic things. Most lawyers have LinkedIn profiles that allow others to recommend them. If you avoid LinkedIn, you probably still use some social media that allows people to rate how they like your posts or comments.

This constant evaluation can be troubling for sure, but it isn’t new. In fact, humans have always rated, judged, and reacted to each other. If you doubt me, you might consider the Buddhist teachings on the eight worldly winds.

These include:

  • Praise and blame
  • Gain and loss
  • Pleasure and pain
  • Success and failure

Of course, these are the manifestations of impermanence in everyday life. Good things come and go and so do bad things. Nothing lasts forever, they each blow around us, much like the wind.

Cultivating Equanimity Helps

To say that these things are “like the wind” is not to suggest that we can simply ignore them. Sure, we may not notice when a gentle breeze rolls by, but any of us can get knocked or slowed down by a storm or hefty gust.

And that’s the point of the teaching of the eight worldly winds: we can’t control them but we can learn how to live with them. The way to live with these worldly winds of life is equanimity. For more on this as applied to giving and receiving feedback, check out the book Confidence by Ethan Nichtern.

Equanimity is a trait that implies relative stability and calm amidst changing circumstances. It does not mean apathy or numbness. Instead, it means acceptance and skillful navigation through pleasant, neutral, and difficult situations.

Part of the skill here, though, can be hard but essential to learn. That part is clinging or resistance. Most people, including us lawyers, usually cling to the pleasant things but resist the bad things.

Image listing 4 mindful steps to help lawyers accept feedback with equanimity as shared in the blog post

Why Feedback Is Hard for Lawyers

This is where feedback can be challenging. Even though many of us claim to be above such things, most lawyers care deeply about our reputations and social status. There is good reason for this too. Our reputations matter to the success of our law practices and can even affect our ability to serve our clients.

As a result, it is only natural that lawyers would crave, cling to and strive for positive ratings of our performance or character. On the other hand, we will also dislike, actively avoid, and resist negative evaluations. Or we may try to block all these feelings and live with a buried sense of imposter syndrome.

Given this, it may sound unattainable that any lawyer could ever bring a sense of equanimity to getting feedback. But the truth is that we can build this trait, just like we can build the traits of mindfulness and compassion.

Steps for Responding to Feedback with Equanimity

As I have written before, meditation practice goes a long way in cultivating the trait of equanimity. Every time you bring your wandering mind back to the breath or pause before scratching an itch, you are building patience. In each tiny moment like this, you are creating equanimity by choosing to not react in a huge way to every issue that comes along.

Even so, some types of feedback may require a bit more attention and skill. After years of meditation, I am the first to say that feedback still can get to me. All of us may need a framework to help us navigate reviews, ratings and assessments of ourselves with kindness and skill. Here are the steps that help me.

1. Don’t Argue or Gush

Because feedback is so likely to activate our egos, one of the easiest ways to get stuck with it is by arguing with or wallowing in it. Negative ratings may push us to argue the facts underlying it or challenge the intent or credibility of the reviewer. Positive ratings may have the opposite effect, causing us to obsess and puff up the meaning or importance of the assessment.

This is why one of the best ways to promote equanimity and your own sanity is to just receive the feedback for exactly what it is. Don’t add on to it or try to diminish it unfairly. As much as you can, just hear it or see it for what it is.

2. Allow Your Feelings

Of course, receiving feedback is bound to produce feelings. Equanimity does not mean blocking or resisting your feelings. Far from it. True equanimity means accepting your feelings for what they are. That means giving yourself the time and space you need to allow your feelings without doing violence to yourself or others.

That means you can feel hurt or angry or defensive when you receive a negative rating. It also means you are allowed to feel happy, grateful, and proud when someone praises you or your performance.

The important thing to understand, though, is that these feelings, like all feelings, are temporary. Let them come and let them go and recognize that no amount of good or bad feedback will make any feelings last forever.

Image with quote from blog post that says "Mindfulness is not a magic pill that can make the worldly winds of life go away. But with time and practice, it may help you cultivate equanimity an essential trait for navigating ups and downs in life and work."

3. Keep Perspective

Another thing that makes feedback challenging is that we don’t always request or consent to it. To make things worse, much of the feedback we receive may be offered thoughtlessly or unskillfully.

As I mentioned, lawyers may be subject to many kinds of feedback that are brief, perfunctory, and casual. Even when an evaluation is more thorough and well thought out, it still remains a singular data point rather than a final referendum on our character. One of the ways that we can help ourselves not get hooked with every rating or review is to keep them in perspective.

Primarily, I do this by putting it in a context by considering the following factors:

  • Was the feedback relevant, timely, and offered with good intent?
  • Did I explicitly or implicitly request the assessment?
  • Did the review provide useful and practical information or did it appear to rate me as a person?
  • Was the assessment consistent with other assessments I have received or was it an outlier?
  • Would I provide feedback like the rating I received to someone whose growth and development mattered to me?

This is a rough outline of questions that help me put feedback in perspective. More “yes” answers to these questions suggest feedback that deserves more of my attention. If I answer most or all of the questions in the negative, that is a strong sign I just need to move on and let go.

4. Learn What You Can and Move On

Even though they can challenge us, evaluations from others really can help us learn and grow. In truth, not everyone will tell you what they really think. This is why, most of the time, feedback can be valuable even if we have to take it with a large grain of salt.

For this reason, the last step before moving on is take whatever lessons you can from the evaluation. With skillfully offered feedback that you have requested, this may be easy. You may get practical ideas about how to adjust or improve.

For ratings that are more generic or less skillful, the lesson may be as simple as slow down, choose your words carefully, or you can’t please everyone. In short, if there is a message in the feedback that you need to hear, take it, reflect on it, and then move on.

Conclusion

In the end, there is no secret recipe for being unbothered and unaffected when lawyers get feedback. That’s because mindfulness practice is not about checking out on life, but being more present in it. All of us are wired to crave praise and resist and reject blame. We want people to like us and think well of us and we don’t want them to tell us negative information about ourselves or our performance.

Mindfulness is not a magic pill that can make the worldly winds of life go away. But with time and practice, it may help you cultivate equanimity an essential trait for navigating ups and downs in life and work. By using the steps offered in this post, I hope you can bring equanimity to your next encounter with feedback.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Tips for Starting a Meditation Practice in the New Year

Image of lawyer meditating in a group with the title of the blog post "Tips for Starting a Meditation Practice in the New Year"

It’s the beginning of a new year, so lawyers may be thinking about new years goals and resolutions. For many people, this might include the goal of exploring mindfulness or starting a meditation practice.

If this is your intention for the year, I think it’s a great one. But all of us know that noble intentions in January sometimes fade by February. How can you start a meditation practice in January that has the hope of lasting the year and beyond?

That’s why I wrote this piece. In this post, I will share some tips intended to help you explore meditation and turn it into a real practice.

Establish Meditation as a Habit

My first advice for lawyers exploring meditation is to start small. That isn’t only because it’s kinder to yourself. It’s also much easier to do something repeatedly if it takes less time.

The biggest problem many lawyers and professional have with meditation is finding the time to practice. Given this, it is essential to not overwhelm yourself at the beginning.

I started my meditation practice over a decade ago at 1 minute per day because that is all I could handle. Though I was quickly able to add minutes on as the days went by, this small increment of time meant I had very few excuses to skip practice.

This meant that I quickly established a habit of meditating every day. If you want the benefits of meditation, making the practice regular is important. To do this, start with short sessions but aim for regular, ideally daily, practice. If you need any more help on brainstorming meditation as a habit, download this free worksheet.

Focus on Building Skills Instead of Being “Perfect” at Meditation

Now, you may be worried that even if you make meditation a habit, you still don’t know what you are doing. So you may be worried about doing the practice wrong or wasting your time.

I have shared basic meditation instructions on this blog and posts about a variety of different meditation practices, including breath practice, body scan, joy, and loving-kindness. At the beginning, though, I would not worry so much about being right in meditation.

Of course, no lawyer wants to waste their time. But the mistakes in meditation are often the best teachers. Meditation is not a thought exercise. It is an experiential practice. You learn how to do the practice by meditating.

At the beginning, then, the object is not to be perfect but instead to cultivate some basic skills. These include the following:

  • Patience with yourself;
  • Focus (including which focal point works for you);
  • Learning what calms and soothes you;
  • Connecting with bodily sensations;
  • Noticing when you are thinking;
  • Redirecting attention; and
  • Self-kindness.
Image of author Claire E. Parsons with quote from post "Of course, no lawyer wants to waste their time. But the mistakes in meditation are often the best teachers. Meditation is not a thought exercise. It is an experiential practice. You learn how to do the practice by meditating."

Don’t Expect to See Quick Progress in Meditation

Many lawyers start a meditation practice because they want the benefits they have read about in research studies. They want to feel less stress, they want to be able to focus on demand, and they want more happiness and kindness.

Then they sit down in meditation and they feel stressed because they can’t focus. They feel tired and bored. Their feet fall asleep, their knees and back hurt. All of this is bound to make any reasonable lawyer think the practice doesn’t work.

But here’s the thing: the benefits of meditation often don’t show up in the practice itself, at least not right away. After a while, practice should come to feel a bit more enjoyable and soothing in itself. At first, though, you are still building skills. Expecting to see mastery in your practice is like expecting not to struggle at all when you start a new exercise routine.

This means that you should give yourself some time (four to eight weeks) before you look for any benefits to emerge. And if those benefits emerge, they probably will show up outside of meditation first. These might include things like rushing less, a reduction in the physical signs of stress, or less reactivity.

Though benefits very likely will emerge with consistent meditation practice, be cautious about your expectations. Don’t expect immediate results and look for the benefits in life first before they show up in meditation practice.

Keep Your Practice Simple

One of the problems that knowledge seekers like lawyers may encounter at first is that they can’t decide which mindfulness practice to explore. The list of skills mentioned above may suggest that you must master all forms of meditation in order to gain benefits. Allow me to set the record straight.

While it is great to explore a variety of practices, ultimately simplicity is ideal. Keeping your practice simple will reduce decision fatigue. This means that there is less chance that your actual practice time will be delayed or derailed by too many planning questions.

Over the years, I have done a variety of practices with and without guiding. Eventually, though, I settled into a simple routine that consists mostly of breath focus practice, open awareness, and loving-kindness. I generally don’t do formal body scan practices, but I enjoy them on occasion if I have a special need to relax or calm my body.

Based on this, it is great to explore and shop around with practices at first. After a few days or weeks, though, it is best to settle on the practice that allows you to relax and focus the most. This will allow you time to build proficiency with the practice, so that you can experience benefits and build confidence.

As the months and years go on, you can always adjust your practice. In fact, you may need to do so to address specific issues like increased stress, sleepiness or spacing out, or just to refresh your practice.

Image sharing five tips for lawyers starting a meditation practice as shared in the blog post

Don’t Go It Alone

I offer my last bit of advice with a strong sense of humility. When I started meditating, I practiced totally on my own. I had no teacher or community and at first hid my practice from my family.

It was not until years later that I realized the error in this approach. When I attended my first retreat, I was amazed at how supportive it was to meditate with other people. I couldn’t believe how helpful a few minutes of chatting with a teacher was.

Though many lawyers pride ourselves for our independence, we do best when we remember that humans are social animals. When we humans want to make real habit change, social support is the way to go. If you want to make meditation a lasting part of your life, finding a teacher or community should be a priority.

Now, as I said above, time is often a challenge for lawyers. I am no stranger to this. To be sure, meditation can be learned and practiced on your own and you should not feel ashamed at all about that. If, however, you have any options to meditate in a group, learned from a trained mindfulness teacher, or go on retreat, it will support your practice.

For anyone in the legal profession looking for such a community, the Mindfulness in Law Society provides a highly accessible option.

Conclusion

These are my tips for starting a meditation practice in the new year. They are offered to help busy people like lawyers be kind to themselves while forming a habit that can last. Regardless of the goals you set, I wish you luck in the new year and hope you find whatever practices support you and your community best.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Five Tips for Mindful Walking to Enhance Well-Being

Image of woman walking in a park with title of blog post "Five Tips for Mindful Walking to Enhance Well-Being"

Unintentionally over the last several months, I formed a nice self-care habit. Whenever I have time, I take a mindful walk after dinner. I wouldn’t call this walking meditation because it’s not quite so slow or focused. But I wouldn’t say it’s clearly outside of the realm of meditation either.

That’s because my mindful walking habit has become a real support for me. It helps me when my mind is busy, my spirits are low, or if I just need to move a little bit and enjoy a nice day.

If you want to try a making mindful walking part of your routine, this can tell you how. Here are the five key elements of a mindful walk.

1. Leave Your Phone at Home While Walking

This one is not a hard and fast rule. There’s no shame in using your phone for safety or to listen to a workout video or music to support your walk. Talking with a friend on your phone while you walk is also a great way to support a healthy habit.

If you don’t need it, though, I encourage you to leave your phone at home. One reason is that most of us are bombarded by screens in daily life. For that reason, taking a walk without your phone may feel really good. I leave my phone at home to avoid the temptation of looking at it and distracting myself from the walk.

In this way, the first way to to make your walk mindful is to leave your phone at home when you walk out the door.

2. Try Walking with No Destination

Another important thing to leave out of mindful walking is a destination. Sure, you can select a destination for a walk if you like, but it helps to leave the route open-ended.

Next time you walk somewhere, notice what happens when you walk with a destination. In my experience, having a set goal in mind means that the end location takes over. To really let the walk be about the journey, let the destination go.

If, like me, you don’t have the ability to walk “nowhere” easily, you can make this very simple. Pick the easiest two-way route you can and stick to that route. Over time, getting to your goal won’t be the thing; experiencing the walk will be the the most essential piece.

In short, if you want to take a mindful walk, it helps to let the destination go and just walk.

3. Take Your Time as You Walk

It should come as no surprise that the next aspect of mindful walking is slowing down. Most people these days rush through life. Most lawyers and professionals feel a constant state of time urgency.

One of the simplest things you can do to manage stress is to start to notice this tendency to rush. An easy way to do that is to start slowing down routine activities when you have the time. Most often, we walk for functional reasons and we forget how good it can feel to get outside and move.

It’s not necessary to move at a snail’s pace to make space for mindful awareness with walking. But it helps if you can move slowly enough that you feel like you are savoring the experience of walking. Next time you take a walk, try to consciously take your time and notice what a difference it makes.

Image of person walking in woods with overly of listing of five tips for mindful walking as shared in the blog post

4. Mindfully Observe Your Surroundings

I know that we all don’t live or work close to what most of us would call nature. We may live near busy streets or urban areas with lots of activity. Though natural spaces are ideal for mindful walking, they are not necessarily essential.

Mindfulness isn’t just about trying to achieve a peak state or perfectly calm state. Instead, it’s about awareness with things as they are. As you walk, pay attention to your surroundings. Notice all the sensations. If you can walk near a natural setting, take full advantage of it.

Sounds like water rushing and bird song are shown to lower stress levels because they signify safety. Whether I have nature sounds or not, paying attention to surroundings is great for mindful walking because it helps me reconnect with my body and get out of my thoughts.

5. Let the Thoughts Come and Go

Speaking of thoughts, my last tip is that you don’t have to fight them off during mindful walking. Inevitably as you walk, thoughts will arise. That’s no problem. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed at mindful walking. It just means you are human.

The good thing about thoughts when I am walking, though, is that it’s a bit harder to get sucked into them. When I walk, I am more in touch with my body because it is moving. There’s also a big wide world of space that makes any thoughts in my mind feel a little bit smaller.

Just as in meditation, you don’t have to clear your mind to take a mindful walk. Instead, with some time and patience, you can learn to let the thoughts come and go.

Give Mindful Walking a Try

Mindful walking can be a supportive way to get some movement, enjoy outdoors, reduce stress, and cultivate mindfulness. If you want to make mindful walking a habit, give these five tips a try.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Managing Sleepiness in Your Meditation Practice

Image of sleepy woman trying to meditate with title from blog post "Managing Sleepiness in Your Meditation Practice"

Most people who meditate long enough will eventually face the problem of sleepiness. For those new to practice, it can actually be a good a sign. Sleepiness can signify that the body and mind are relaxing, which is a good thing.

Severe or persistent drowsiness, though, can create some problems. You can’t cultivate mindfulness or compassion in meditation if you can’t stay awake. I have been dealing with sleepiness a lot lately. In fact, I just went on a seven-day retreat and sleepiness was my biggest challenge.

Here are the things that I learned on retreat that helped me deal with sleepiness in meditation.

1. Identify the early signs of sleepiness.

Once full on sleepiness sets in, it can be nearly impossible to correct it. That’s why it helps to identify your early signs of sleepiness. These can be subtle, so it may take some trial and error. Even so, sleepiness happens at some point for all of us. This means that you are bound to get plenty of time to practice this.

The early signs of sleepiness may vary for us all. For me, though, I notice a lack of energy, tired eyes, and a general droopiness in my body. My shoulders might slump and my head might lean forward ever so slightly. If I am clear enough, I usually also notice mental haziness.

One of the clearest signs is a subtle ripple of energy that starts in my face and radiates down my body. When I notice this, it is like an alarm that tells me to immediately take some of the actions identified next to wake up.

2. Ways to Wake Yourself Up.

When you feel sleepiness come on, one or a combination of these steps may help you wake up.

1. Remove your sweater or blanket.

Temperature control is huge for meditation. To avoid sleepiness, a slightly cool room is ideal. Removing your sweater or blanket to cool your body down may help you wake up.

2. Sit or stand up.

It can be hard or even awkward at times to move during meditation. Sometimes it is the right call. If you are falling asleep when you practice, sitting or standing up can help. Walking meditation is always an option if you need movement to raise your energy levels.

3. Lift Your Head.

This one is subtle, but sometimes sleepiness happens because we unwittingly let our heads bow. This can block our airways slightly and may simulate our experience during sleep. Raising your head so your eyes are level with the horizon may clear your airway and wake you up.

4. Open Your Eyes

What do all sleeping people hate the most? They hate it when you turn on the lights. If sleepiness comes when you meditate, open your eyes. You may also consider practicing in a room with some light to keep yourself alert during practice.

5. Try breathwork

Many people think that the breath calms us down, but this isn’t totally true. It can also energize us. Focusing on the inhale during meditation may offer more energy. Using a pranayama technique briefly, like box breath, may force your mind to get active and wake you up.

6. Connect with Your Intention

Sleepiness in meditation is hard. It would feel so good to just succumb to the siren call of the impromptu power nap. Struggling through that temptation is rough. When this happens to me, I recall my intention for practice. I meditate daily precisely for moments like these. I want to build skills for navigating inner challenges with more grace and kindness. Remembering this usually helps me focus and wake up.

7. Shift to a more active style of practice.

I recommend keeping your daily meditation practice very simple, but it also helps to have a few options at your disposal. One reason is that some meditation styles are more active than others. Open awareness practice or even breath focus may induce relaxation and eventually sleepiness. Something more active, like body scan, noting practice, or even one of the heart practices may energize your mind and body.

Image listing 7 ways to handle sleepiness in meditation that were shared in the blog post

3. Be Sure that You Aren’t Unconsciously Causing or Just Ignoring Sleepiness.

If you have tried all the strategies above and sleepiness persists, you may need to dig dipper. Ask yourself the following questions if drowsiness continues when you meditate.

A. Are You Sleeping Enough?

Most Americans do not get enough sleep. This is specifically true for lawyers as well. There are many reasons for this but the pervasiveness of screens is a common culprit. If you can’t stay awake during meditation, it is worth asking yourself if you just need some rest. Focusing on quality sleep will improve your meditation practice and overall health.

B. Are You Trying too Hard?

Another common problem for many professionals, especially lawyers, is unconscious overwork. Some of us may habitually try hard. We may be so used to striving that we do it in meditation. This may be true even after years of practice and instruction that reminds us to avoid striving.

Trying too hard can induce sleepiness for the simple reason that it wears our minds out. While sleepiness may be a sign indicating a need for more focus, it can also indicate a need to relax too. You can do this by bringing in an attitude of play and lightness into practice. You can also try giving yourself breaks in practice by shifting the practice type or taking small breaks within your practice.

C. Is there an underlying medical condition you should explore?

Sometimes sleepiness can be a sign of an underlying medical or mental health condition. If the sleepiness persists despite interventions, it may be time to talk to your care provider. Meditation is just one means of taking care of ourselves. A doctor or mental health care provider can help you ensure that all of your needs are met.

4. Learn about Acceptance and Self-Compassion.

Even if you do all the things right, the odds are that sleepiness still may happen during meditation. Meditation is not about controlling your body or your mind. Instead, it’s about learning to work with your body and your mind better.

As discussed above, sleepiness in meditation gives you a chance to see what strategies energize and deplete you. When all those fail, though, sleepiness can give you a chance to practice something arguably more important. It can give you a reason to practice acceptance and self-compassion.

You can’t always be energized. You can’t always be “on.” Your mind does not always want to focus. Your body may not always want to sit. Practicing self-kindness in the midst of this lack of control is part of meditation. Though I know exactly how frustrating this can feel, I can also say that this life skill is very helpful to have.

Conclusion

Fatigue or drowsiness during meditation is a very human thing. It does not mean that you are a bad meditator or the practice isn’t right for you. Instead, sleepiness is a normal challenge for most meditators. Learning to manage sleepiness in meditation can build skills and teach you about yourself.

To deal with problems in meditation practice, including sleepiness, check out the Pause and Begin Again ebook. This free resource offers tips for starting and restarting a meditation practice and facing common challenges.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Why Lawyers Need Mudita Practice for Greater Joy

Image of a woman showing appreciation with a title of the blog post "Why Lawyers Need Mudita Practice for Greater Joy"

As a writer and a lawyer, I love it when the sound of a word fits its meaning. “Mudita” is one of those words. It is a Pali and Sanskrit term that refers to sympathetic or appreciative joy. In Buddhist teachings, mudita is one of the four essential heart practices. This post will explain why it’s also essential for lawyers.

What Is Appreciative Joy or Mudita?

Mudita practice is about cultivating joy for the happiness of others. As one of the four heart practices, mudita supports the cultivation of kindness, equanimity, and compassion. As a meditation practice, mudita has a structure similar to loving-kindness. It involves bringing people and groups to mind and conveying kind wishes.

Because mudita focuses on the well-being of others, though, it is the one practice that does not start with oneself. Instead, typically, mudita starts with a loved one and mentor and then extends out to neutral and difficult people. This is because mudita practice, if you give it some time, is likely to create joy in you.

The phrases for mudita practice are also similar to those used for loving-kindness, but with slight edits. Instead of sending simple kindness and well-being, the phrases are tailored to evoke appreciate at the well-being of others. Some examples include:

  • May you be happy;
  • May your happiness continue;
  • May you appreciate your joy;
  • I am happy for your.

Benefits of Mudita Practice

I’ll talk more about why lawyers specifically might want to consider adding mudita practice to their routine below. As a general matter, practicing appreciative joy has many benefits. The most common reason that someone would want to practice mudita is to reduce self-centered thinking.

To a certain degree, most of us are self-centered. This is more of an observation than a criticism. Part of being human is the reality that our minds get stuck on ourselves. Individualism in western culture and technology don’t help this either.

These two things can combine to alienate us from others. They can also present the illusion that the happiness or success is a threat to us. Given this, even the best of us might need to get intentional about expanding our horizons. Mudita practice can help you reconnect with others and reconsider what real happiness is.

Image showing the benefits of mudita meditation practice for lawyers

Can You Train Yourself to Feel Joy for Others?

Now, you may wonder if you can really train yourself to feel authentic joy for other people. This is a fair question. Most of know that we can’t boss our emotions around.

Though this is true, mudita practice is not about forcing yourself to feel anything. Just like with loving-kindness, the practice is not about feeling joy on demand. Instead, it is better to think about mudita practice as one of orientation.

The point is to direct your attention and intention towards open-heartedness and generosity. You can’t and shouldn’t try to make yourself feel joy for someone else’s good fortune. But you can practice wishing people true happiness and see how it makes you feel.

At first, this practice is likely to feel awkward, strange, or like nothing at all. If you keep practicing, though, you may notice a shift. You may see that you can feel genuine happiness for others. And you may also see the circle of people you can feel happiness for can expand to include people you never expected.

Why Mudita Practice Is Good for Lawyers

Most busy people, like lawyers, are encouraged constantly to “make time for self-care.” This is because lawyers spend most of their work day thinking of others. Why should they want to spend time in meditation focusing on the well-being of others?

One reason is that, while lawyers are often serving others, they are not often intentionally practicing joy. Law practice is often embroiled in conflict and stress. As a result, redirecting attention to happiness and joy can feel pretty good.

In the same way, lawyers are often in competition with others. Some of us have literal opponents in litigation or a hostile transactional matter. It’s not uncommon for lawyers to feel a sense of competition for business reasons with other lawyers.

In this way, mudita might be a nice respite from the competition. It can remind us that our own success is not the only way for us to find happiness. In short, it can help us reflect on and literally feel that connection is our best source of joy.

Want to Try Mudita? Here’s a Guided Meditation.

If you are revved up about appreciative joy and want to try a mudita practice, you are in luck. You can try this practice here:

And if you want to try another option, you can check out this one I liked from One Mind Dharma.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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