Unlocking the Benefits of Open Awareness Meditation

“Just sit there.” This was some of the best meditation advice I ever got. When my meditation practice was still young, a teacher gave me this instruction during an interview on a retreat. I had been doing breath focus practice for a while and explained that I was rushing back to the breath. Though I didn’t know the term then, my teacher suggested that I try open awareness or open monitoring meditation.

On the very next sit, that is what I did and I quickly fell in love. As I will explain in this post, open awareness meditation has some disadvantages. But for me the advantages were clear. I had honed focus pretty well, but I needed to learn to relax and let go. If this sounds familiar to you, keep reading. In this post, I will briefly explain what open awareness practice is. I will also tell you how to do it. Finally, I will show you how to embed it in your meditation practice.

What Is Open Awareness Meditation?

As the instructions from my teacher indicated, the beauty of open awareness practice is its simplicity. With this style, you drop all specific focal points and just sit there. The thing is, of course, that you don’t merely sit there. Instead, you sit there and pay attention to whatever comes up in your awareness.

This includes thoughts, sensations in the body, emotions, and external stimuli. In short, with open awareness meditation the practice is to note all of your awareness. Ideally, you will also do so with mental clarity but without judgment.

Image of woman meditating with google search bar asking "how to do open awareness meditation" which is explained in the blog post

Why You Should Try Open Awareness Meditation?

Many people assume that focus is the primary benefit of meditation. That can be true for many people, but I don’t think it is true for all. Many people, including lots of lawyers, may have pretty strong focus skills already. As I learned, though, meditation can also impart other important traits.

These include things like relaxing, letting go, non-judgment and kindness. Open awareness helps to cultivate these things in particular because the practice literally invites everything into awareness. Nothing is off limits. It’s all part of the practice. As you practice welcoming everything in experience into awareness, you build patience, flexibility, equanimity, and self-kindness.

Potential Benefits of Open Awareness Meditation

Because all of us are different, the potential benefits of open awareness meditation are varied. With that said, I quickly experienced more access to insight when I started open awareness meditation. I also noticed an increase in intuition and creativity. When I allowed space in my mind, I became clearer about my life and more receptive to my own ideas.

I also soon started to understand myself better because I started to see my patterns in real time. Instead of merely focusing on the breath, I could see familiar narratives arise and fade. By watching this play out, some of those stories lost their power. These included my tendency to doubt myself and to do everything on my own. This made room for new wholesome ones, like self-compassion and opening to creative pursuits like writing.

Image of man meditating with benefits of open awareness meditation, including patience, flexibility, equanimity, and creativity, listed as an overlay on the picture

How to Explore Open Awareness Meditation

If this sounds attractive, you may next wonder how you can start exploring open awareness meditation. As I already mentioned, the classic way to start this practice is to start just sitting. Let go of all focal points, broaden the scope of your awareness, and see what comes up. For people with some experience with meditation, this can be a great way to explore a new style of practice.

Some may worry that this openness can cause confusion. However, there are ways to expand awareness more gradually. One choice is to try a noting practice, in which you note things that arise in experience. You can also try practices that categorize experience, such as a practice that focuses on feeling tones (neutral, pleasant, unpleasant). Shinzen Young also has a style called “see-hear-feel” that categorizes the visual, auditory, and sensory experiences that arise.

Dealing with Disadvantages or Problems

Now, some people may worry that their mind isn’t automatically open or won’t stay open for this practice. The easy answer is that starting with open awareness practice is not necessary. You don’t need to begin with it in order to do it. Instead, you can begin a meditation session with breath focus. You could also use a body scan or a mantra. Then transition to open awareness. This is what I have done for years, though the time I need to spend settling with a focus practice has decreased over time.

You may worry that open awareness could lead to dullness. It might also cause spacing out. This is something that happens to the best of us. One way to tackle this is to manage sleepiness. Watch your temperature, practice at a good time of day, and don’t try to meditate after a big meal. Another solution is to bring back in elements of focus practice to support mental clarity when needed. For example, if you find yourself spacing out you can energize the mind with a focus practice.

Conclusion: Open Awareness Meditation Is a Practice to Try

In truth, though, you can’t learn open awareness meditation from reading about it in a blog post. I wrote this post to encourage you to consider and explore the practice. The best way to learn about open awareness meditation and what it can do for you is try it yourself. To that end, I give you the same advice my teacher gave me years ago. Set a timer. Find a quiet safe space. Just sit there. See what open awareness meditation can do for you.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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What Is Body Scan Meditation and Why Should Lawyers Try It?

When people think of meditation, they typically think of the breath as the focal point. But in truth, meditation can use almost any focal point and the focal point doesn’t necessarily have to be a singular, stagnant object. One of the most beneficial practices that I incorporate in my routine is the body scan.

What Is Body Scan Meditation?

With this practice, the focus is on the sensations in the whole body, rather than exclusively focusing on the breath. Traditionally, this practice flows systemically through the body, flowing from one part or region of the body into the next.

Most commonly, body scan meditations start at the crown of the head and proceed down to other parts of the body until you reach the feet and toes. This is sometimes called a “top down” style of body scan.

There are a few reasons why teachers may commonly start the practice at the top of the head. It can be a trauma-informed risk mitigation strategy for those very new to practice, since trauma often affects the body. The theory here is that gradualism to cultivating body awareness is supportive to many students.

Similarly, starting at the top of the head may be a way to meet students where they are. This is because many of us new to mindfulness are accustomed to living life in our thoughts and brains.

Various Ways to Do a Body Scan.

There are, of course, many potential methods and starting points for body scans. For instance, you could start with the toes and work up or do a body scan that focuses on the chakras or plexuses along the spine.

Another way to start is by making a connection with your five senses and then branching out from there. Still other styles of practice, like yoga nidra, skip awareness from one body part to another rapidly. This can feel disorienting at first, but over time it may cause the mind to still and the body to relax.

Some body scan practices may also make use of progressive muscle relaxation, where one tenses the muscles and releases them. This is not required but can be a nice way to hasten relaxation or support the detection of body sensations if that is a challenge for you.

Regardless of the particular method you try, the object of a body scan meditation is to feel the sensations in the body and notice what you feel, rather than to think about the body.

Image of woman meditating with quote that says "body scan meditations typically start at the crown of the head and proceed down to other parts of the body"

Advantages of Body Scan Meditation.

Body scan meditation often feels more manageable to new meditators because the practice is more active than breath practice. Because the focus of body scan is to flow or cycle through sensations in the body, the mind has to work a bit more to stay focused on the sensations in the body. For this reason, it may not seem as hard to keep the mind engaged with the focal point as it does in the early phases of learning breath practice.

Even so, body scan builds focus, acceptance, and awareness like any other mindfulness practice. In this way, it can be a great alternative to breath-based practices if those present unique challenges for you.

In addition, in my experience, getting into the body is a great (perhaps the best) way to get out of your head. It is for this reason that resting in sensations during a body scan can be deeply relaxing even to new meditators and after relatively short periods of time.

Potential Challenges of Body Scan Meditation.

As mentioned above, body scan meditation can present some challenges. People with past trauma, whether diagnosed or not, should proceed gently and in small doses. Traumatic experiences can have lasting effects on the body even when we aren’t consciously aware of it. If you have concerns in this area, consult with a trauma-informed mindfulness teacher or your mental health support provider first.

Another challenge is that some people don’t feel much sensation when they do body scan. This can be normal for those new to the practice, since some of us may need some time to build awareness of bodily sensations. It also can be normal because there is a range of unique capacities when it comes to mindful awareness. If a lack of sensation is severe, chronic, or concerns you, though, you may talk to your doctor to ensure that your medical needs are being fully met.

Why Body Scan Meditation Is Great for Lawyers and Other Busy People

Body scan meditations are very useful for attorneys because they remind us to pay attention to and take care of our bodies. In law school, we learn to emphasize rationality in making decisions for our clients. While separating fact from emotion is critical, we lawyers are still human beings with human bodies.

To do our best for our clients, we need to understand and respect the limitations of our own bodies so we can fulfill our responsibility to our clients. As I’ve written before, emotions are sensations in the body, so body scan practices may also have the incidental benefit of building emotional intelligence and tolerance when powerful emotions arise.

Image of woman doing tree yoga pose on the beach with a quote that says "getting into the body is a great way to get out of your head"

Potential Benefits of Body Scan Meditation.

Even outside of emotions, however, the awareness that body scan practice engenders can have more fundamental benefits for lawyers and professionals. Some of the most common bodily issues that can impede us from doing our best work are represented in the acronym HALT, which stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired. These symptoms are fundamental to the human condition, but in our fast-paced world it is easy to skip lunch, push our emotions to the side, miss out on social opportunities, and deprive ourselves of sleep.

Body scan meditations are excellent for lawyers because they remind us that we are not merely brains filled with legal strategy, but people who must be fed, rested, and cared for. If you practice body scan meditation, you will develop the skills to notice the symptoms of various conditions and emotions in your body in the early and more subtle stages before they get to the point where they affect your performance, outlook, or demeanor. These skills are not only necessary to performing our responsibilities as lawyers, but they are also beneficial for anyone who wants to be a top performer in a high-stakes environment.

Image with quote that says "emotions are feelings in the body" which you may experience if you do body scan meditation

Body Scan Meditation Can Be a Building Block for Mindfulness Cultivation.

Finally, body scan is building block to support further growth in your meditation practice or just when dealing with the difficulties of life. When you start a meditation practice, it can seem like the focal point is the object of practice. As your practice advances, you may learn, however, that the focal point is really a tool. In other words, the point of practice is not just to focus on the breath or the sensations of the body. It is, instead, to build the skill of resting with the breath or the body.

If you can learn to do this with body scan practice, then you have one more tool at your disposal when meditation or life throws you curveballs. For example, perhaps troubling thoughts or overwhelming emotions come up during your practice. A meditator proficient in body scan might be able to shift focus to a less reactive part of the body, such as the feet, to rest from the experience until they find enough stability and calm to proceed with normal practice. You could also do this in life, if for instance you have a tense meeting with opposing counsel and need to keep your cool.

Image with pictures of people meditating that has the quote "body scan is a building block to support further growth in your meditation practice"

Conclusion: Body Scan Meditation Is an Excellent Practice for Lawyers and Professionals to Try.

In short, body scan is a simple practice to learn and may be more accessible to new meditators than other styles of practice. It offers many benefits that support a meditation practice and build coping skills for life. Lawyers in particular could stand to benefit from the practice, so give it a try.

To understand more how important body-based practices are to lawyers and how to add them into your routine, check out the Personal Well-Being Worksheet, Stress Management Workbook, and Coping Strategies Ebook.

To try body scan practice, check out our meditations that incorporate body scan techniques.

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4 Heart Practices that Lawyers Should Know

It’s Valentine’s Day this week, so it is only natural for my mind to be thinking about hearts. In this case, I am thinking about the heart practices or Brahma Viharas. I talk about loving-kindness practice here a lot because it is a wonderful practice for cultivating kindness and reducing judgment.

What are the Four Heart Practices?

In traditional Buddhism, though, loving-kindness is just 1 of the 4 heart practices that support good conduct and overall well-being. Each practice is unique but they all reinforce each other too. Lawyers or anyone who regularly deals with stress or conflict can gain a lot from working with them together.

Keep reading to learn more about the heart practices:

(1) loving-kindness;
(2) sympathetic joy;
(3) compassion; and
(4) equanimity.

Image showing four heart practices discussed in the post which are beneficial to lawyers: loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, compassion, and equanimity

1. Loving-Kindness

Loving-kindness or metta as it is traditionally called is done to generate friendliness and a good nature towards oneself and others. And when I say “others” here, I mean it as broadly as possible. As I have explained before, loving-kindness practice is done by bringing individuals and then groups to mind and sending them wishes of well-being.

Language here is flexible but the traditional phrases are:

May you be happy;
May you be healthy;
May you be safe;
May you be at peace.

Traditionally, this practice starts with oneself and expands outward to extend kindness to literally all beings.

There are many applications for this practice but the most common reason for doing the practice is to cultivate kindness for everyone, including you. With time, the practice serves as an antidote to judgment and anger, a foundation for greater mindfulness, and a gateway to the other heart practices.

Image explaining loving-kindness, one of the heart practices discussed in the post which is beneficial to lawyers

2. Sympathetic Joy

Sympathetic joy or “mudita” does not tend to get as much attention in my experience, but it is increasingly important these days. Anyone suffering from social comparison, jealousy, or in a competitive field can benefit from this practice. Yes, this of course means lawyers and most working professionals. That is because mudita is about cultivating joy in response to the well-being of others.

Mudita is commonly practiced with the same structure as loving-kindness but the phrases may be slightly different. Common sympathetic joy meditation phrases include:

May you be happy;
May your happiness continue;
May you appreciate your joy; and
I am happy for you.

As I discussed when I shared the interview of Tom Bussen, author of Enlightened Self-Interest, this practice can reduce jealousy, greed, and the impacts of living in a hyper-competitive culture.

Image explaining sympathetic joy, one of the heart practices discussed in the post which is beneficial to lawyers

3. Compassion

Compassion, or “karuna” as it is called in Sanskrit, is another essential heart practice. Unlike loving-kindness and sympathetic joy, compassion is about cultivating kindness in the fact of difficulty. As I have explained before, compassion isn’t truly an emotion but is instead a response to suffering.

Compassion is also distinct from empathy. It goes beyond merely feeling someone’s suffering, though common feeling is often part of the experience. Instead, compassion arises when we are aware of suffering and wish or act to do something to alleviate it.

I find that compassion is often specific to circumstances so I offer a variety of phrases that might work to practice compassion in meditation:

May you be free of suffering
May you be safe and well in the midst of all this
May you live with ease and with kindness in the midst of this
May you be at ease with the changing conditions of my life
May you open to this pain with gentleness and compassion
May all who experience this particular suffering be held in kindness
May the suffering of this world be met with compassion
I care about you.
Your suffering matters to me
I see your suffering; it is hard.

It would likely become unwieldy to try to use all of these phrases, so it may be better to select 3 or 4 and work with those. Over time, you can change or substitute in phrasing to suit your needs. In addition, practicing compassion in sitting meditation is only the start. With time, this practice may support more compassionate conduct in life.

Image explaining compassion, one of the heart practices discussed in the post which is beneficial to lawyers

4. Equanimity

Equanimity, or “upekkha”, is a trait that can be and often is cultivated with ordinary mindfulness practices. Put simply, it is non-reactive stability in the face of change, difficulty, and uncertainty. Learning to sit and be with experience when you do a practice like breath focus or body scan can help you cultivate a foundation of equanimity that supports overall mindfulness and well-being.

Equanimity is also important from a heart perspective, though, because it is essential for balancing kindness, joy, and compassion. Recall that kindness does not mean just being “nice” and compassion does not mean sacrificing oneself in all cases. Equanimity supports healthy boundaries and clarity about our role in a given situation or relationship.

Like compassion above, equanimity might be affected by context. Here are a selection of phrases that you could use to cultivate equanimity in meditation:

All beings are responsible for the suffering or happiness created by their own actions;
May you find peace exactly where you are;
No matter how I might wish things to be otherwise, things are as they are;
I care for you, but I cannot control your happiness and unhappiness;
May we all accept things as they are;
I wish you happiness but cannot make your choices for you; and
I can allow what is here and offer what is needed.

Image explaining equanimity, one of the heart practices discussed in the post which is beneficial to lawyers

Conclusion

When done on their own, each of the individual practices has much to offer lawyers and other professionals. Over time, though, exploring all of the practices together can strengthen and stabilize the heart, body, and mind. Relationships are an essential part of living a good life and the four heart practices, loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, compassion, and equanimity, can support us as individuals in relation to other people. As you think about hearts this Valentine’s Day, think about the four heart practices too.

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How to Craft Your Daily Meditation Practice

One of the most common questions I get as a meditation teacher is also my favorite question to ask other meditators. That question is “what does your meditation practice look like?” As a teacher, I know people are asking for guidance about what their practice should or could be.

When I am asking the question, though, I am not asking it to test the other person. Instead, I am asking it because someone’s daily practice can tell you a lot. I love seeing the variety of ways that people find to make meditation their own, so I enjoy hearing people talk about it.

Though certain lineages may have preferred meditation practices, there aren’t universally applicable rules that apply to all of us. In addition, even very experienced meditators may have to rethink or revamp their practice regimen from time to time. Here are some things to consider when crafting or reshaping your meditation practice.

1. Identify the Intention Behind Your Meditation Practice.

One of the reasons that I cannot offer a generally applicable “ideal” meditation practice is that I think meditation works best when it supports personal intentions. By this, I don’t mean that meditation must or should be a solely individualistic endeavor. I have said many times before that community is essential to meditation and that, ideally, meditation will help us engage more fully in our communities.

Even so, meditation is a long-term practice. If you are going to make the habit stick, it helps if it supports your life, values, and goals. As a result, an important first step in crafting a meditation practice is to consider your intention for meditating.

Do you want the health benefits? Do you want a time to rest? Do you want to learn better ways of managing stress? Do you want a time to check in with yourself? Do you want to relax so you can get better sleep? Whatever it is, identifying the purpose driving you can help you tailor a meditation practice.

Image with quote from the blog post that says "Meditation works best when it supports personal intentions."

2. Consider the Meditation Technique that Supports Your Intention.

Identifying your intention for practice is important because there are so many options for practice technique. Meditation practices come from a variety of spiritual lineages, secular disciplines, and include a seemingly endless number of techniques.

If your practice lasts long enough, crafting your meditation routine may include exploration of everything from breath focus, to body scan, mantra, loving-kindness, and beyond. Exploration is a great thing, but ideally your daily practice will become relatively simple, stable, and consistent.

Your specific purpose in meditating will help you decide which practice best supports your life. This may take some trial and error and experimentation. Pay attention to how you feel in practice and any changes that you may be experiencing in life. This can tell you if the practice is supporting your intention or not.

3. Decide the Frequency, Duration, and Setting for Your Meditation Sessions.

Once you have selected a practice, then you must decide how long, how often, and where to practice. Many people ask me for a minimum time they must practice to get benefits. Though I recommend starting small for those new to practice, ideally the duration of your sessions will grow over time. So, the real question is what amount of time will you, as a practical matter, meditate consistently?

That is because consistency is what transforms meditation from a pastime to a practice. As a practicing lawyer myself and a busy mom, I don’t claim to meditate every day without fail. But I meditate most days and strive for 30 minutes of daily practice. That period of time is sustainable for me long-term and it allows me to rest, connect with myself, and cultivate focus and stability.

In the same way, it helps to have a designated meditation spot which may include your meditation cushion or a comfortable chair. Meditation on the go is a necessary option for most lawyers and one I frequently use. With that said, a special spot can help to remind you of practice and settle more quickly when your meditation starts.

Image with quote that says: "People often ask for the “minimum” amount of time they must meditate to see benefits. A better question is: what amount of time will you, as a practical matter, meditate consistently?"

4. Don’t Forget to Ask for Help.

Still feel lost with all of the details regarding meditation practice? That’s normal. It could be a sign that you need some more exploration time to feel at ease in your practice. It could also be reason to consider getting more support for your practice.

Over the millennia, meditation has been taught in groups and with teachers. Technology has allowed us to learn the practice without these supports and I got my practice started without them. Whether you use guided meditations or prefer an unguided practice, starting with the help of an app (or this blog!) may be great for those of us who want to explore meditation before we commit.

For more in-depth understanding of the practices and the many shapes that meditation can take, you can always explore working with a meditation teacher, taking a course, or finding a community. Even if you meditate alone most of the time, getting help and support may instill confidence that you have a practice that supports your life.

Image that shares the 4 tips for crafting a meditation practice shared in the blog post

Conclusion

There are many effective ways that you can structure a daily or regular meditation practice. If you practice meditation for long enough, you are bound to find that your practice will shift and change with time. Whether you are new to meditation or are experienced and looking for a change, this post is offered to help you evaluate your daily practice to ensure it continues to benefit your life.

If you want some immediate help for your practice, check out the Resources page and our guided meditations. In particular, these downloads may be helpful in shaping a practice that works for you:

The Meditation Habit Worksheet may help you find ways to make your meditation practice easier to maintain;
Pause and Begin Again Ebook offers an overview of several practice types and solutions for common challenges;
The Heart of Loving-Kindness Practice Guide is an in-depth guide for metta meditation and its benefits; or
The Personal Well-Being Workbook may help you consider the role of meditation in your life.

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You Don’t Have to Be Good at Meditation

I have seen a lot of comments on social media lately where people express an interest in meditation but complain that they just aren’t “good” at it. My answer usually includes some variation of the following: you don’t have to be good at meditation to benefit from it.

For lawyers and other Type A personalities, this may sound like crazy talk. Many of us are trained to think that we have to earn our stripes with something before it can help us. In truth, meditation is a skill and mindfulness and compassion are traits that can be strengthened with practice.

Meditation isn’t about mastery.

In this way, there is a learning curve when it comes to meditation. Does that mean meditation is fundamentally or principally about “mastering” the practice and becoming good at it? Not in my humble opinion.

To the contrary, meditation is sort of a rigged deck. Most people who do the practice never consider themselves good at it. This is because meditation is hard. Paradoxically, the simpler the style of practice one does, the more challenging you may find it to be.

The brain is not wired to stay focused on a single thing for very long. The default mode network of the brain kicks in when we are not intensely occupied and it causes the mind to wander. Thus, when you meditate, you are going against the grain (or should I say against the brain?).

Struggle is part of the practice.

In some ways, meditation is like strength training because the practice, in part, is learning to struggle. Though I generally enjoy exercise, I struggled mightily to build a strength training regimen a few years back. The reason? Strength training is not fun; instead it is a lot of struggle. When I do cardio, I get to move and enjoy music. But strength requires me to push really hard against a lot of weight.

Eventually, I got over this by figuring out a schedule that works and motivates me to keep going. One thing that helped me was seeing how much the strength training helped me. After a few weeks, I noticed that yoga was easier, cardio felt better, and those heavy doors downtown didn’t feel quite so heavy.

Image with quote: "In some ways, meditation is like strength training because the practice, in part, is learning to struggle."

Don’t expect benefits in your meditation practice.

The same is true in meditation. You probably won’t notice huge benefits when you are struggling to focus on the breath in meditation. Since the practice is to notice when the mind wanders, it may feel like a struggle even if you are doing the practice right. But, during this practice time, this experience of struggle may be normal.

This is why some people may say they aren’t “good at” meditation. They see and feel the struggle and think that they aren’t making progress or feeling benefits. In reality, though, meditation isn’t where you will see the benefits most clearly. Just like with strength training, the real question is whether the practice is creating benefits in your life.

Look for the benefits of your meditation practice in your life.

Look for signs that you feel better, mentally or physically. Pay attention to whether you notice your mind wandering in real life and whether you can refocus. Over time, you may notice even more changes like:

less rushing;
greater kindness, including to yourself; and
enhanced ability to check and question your own thoughts and reactions;
more mental space;
enhanced awareness of emotions; and
increased ability to relax and rest.

Image with quote: Don’t look for signs that meditation is working in your practice. Look for them first in your life.

If meditation feels like it is all struggle, though, get some help.

This is not to say, of course, that you should just “suck it up” when it comes to meditation. After practicing for a while, you should expect that the practice may get a bit easier and I hope you can learn to enjoy it. If that doesn’t happen, though, you may have some options for helping yourself.

You could try modifying your practice to make it more enjoyable. If you have a past history of trauma or other special needs, modifying practice may be essential as an act of kindness to yourself. You could also try working with a trained teacher or finding a supportive community. Taking a course to learn more about mind-body practices might help you too.

Conclusion

In short, I would encourage you as much as possible to let go of the idea that you have to be good at meditation. That’s not the point. Meditation is not about proving yourself, but just being yourself. The question isn’t whether you are good at meditation but instead whether it is good for you. Though I hope that anyone who tries meditation eventually learns to enjoy it, the signs that the practice is working for you are more likely to show up in your daily life.

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Should You Enjoy Your Meditation Practice?

The other day, I made an audacious comment on social media. I posited that one “can and should enjoy meditation.” Now, this was on Threads, a platform with character limits. It was in response to someone else’s post about struggling with practice. When I made it, I assumed the comment was a pretty basic thing to say.

Despite my experience with social media, I was surprised when people responded to this with hostility. One person used actual profanity and another responded with a video, presumably to tell me I wrong.

The real issue here was probably that social media is not the best forum for clear communication. Even so, these surprising interactions got me thinking. Is it okay to enjoy your meditation practice? I think so. No longer shackled by character limits, I will explain why.

Expectations in Meditation Can Be Dangerous

The commenter who sent me the GIF of a meditation teacher telling me I was wrong had this point to make: looking to enjoy your meditation practice is often problematic. Meditation can lead to a reduction in stress, a more open mind, and heart, and many positive life changes. But it does so when we let it teach us.

Looking for meditation to be a certain kind of experience often blocks this. One of the biggest benefits of meditation is seeing things, ourselves, and the world clearly. It’s hard to see things clearly when you have a big goal in mind.

This is why, when I commented that one should enjoy meditation, I wasn’t saying that one should expect to enjoy meditation. Instead, what I meant was that if meditation becomes a regular part of your life, it really helps if you find something in it that you enjoy. In this way, it is good to be open to enjoying meditation practice while being watchful of expectations for your practice to feel a certain way.

Image with quote "Expecting your meditation practice to feel a specific way can lead to problems, but generally it’s a good thing to enjoy meditation."

Are You in Shape for Meditation?

The woman who reacted to my comment with hostility, I suspect, had a different problem. She expressed a lot of struggles with the practice itself. As I have written before, this can happen for a variety of reasons.

People new practice may have to build up a tolerance for it. I started at 1 minute day and even then found all the thoughts and feelings I had been ignoring most of my life to be overwhelming. Over time, I had to learn a lot about letting go and responding to myself with kindness instead of judgment.

The other piece of this, though, is that most of us are not learning meditation in an ideal way. Many of us may be learning from apps, books, or guided meditations. This is what I did, so I don’t knock it. However, I can’t tell you how much easier the practice got when I began working with teachers and developed a good community.

If your practice is far from enjoyable, consider whether you are still learning and whether you could support your practice more.

Every Session Won’t Be Enjoyable

Although I generally enjoy my meditation practice, the truth is that I frequently don’t. Sometimes I space out and barely notice it. Sometimes it is painful, physically or emotionally. And sometimes I resist doing it because I don’t want to face what is lurking in my mind and heart.

After years of practice I now know that this is just life. I normally love working out, practicing law, being with my kids, and writing. Depending on the circumstances, though, all of those preferred activities can become painful.

In the times when meditation, or any other healthy habit, feels hard, I usually have to adjust, simplify, and give myself a lot of grace. For this reason, the surprising thing is that I often learn and benefit as much from the hard times as I do from the experiences that feel great. So, of course, every meditation session won’t be enjoyable. That’s life and it’s okay.

In General, Enjoying Meditation Is a Good Thing

After you establish your practice and work through the initial hurdles, I hope that your meditation practice becomes generally enjoyable. When you pay attention, meditation can feel pretty good. For busy people, it may be nice to just stop and rest for a while. In addition, breathing deeply and relaxing the body can feel nice.

But enjoyment matters for practical reasons too. Just like exercise, meditation can’t affect you in a positive way if you don’t do it. Life experience teaches us all that we are a much more likely to repeatedly do an activity we enjoy. This is what I really meant when I said one “should” enjoy meditation.

This wasn’t a rule. Instead, it was a remark on practical realities. Meditation is much more likely to invite you to practice if you find something about it that you enjoy. In general, then, it is a good thing to enjoy your meditation practice.

Image with quote: "Meditation doesn't have to be painful to be effective."

But What If You Don’t Enjoy Meditation?

Now, what if you have been meditating for a while and you don’t enjoy meditation? This is something that is bound to come up for most of us, but what can we do about it?

If this were me, my first step would be to see if I can identify the issue. Sometimes things like the time or location we practice, the physical set up for our practice, or the style of practice can be the culprit. Making adjustments or finding better ways to support ourselves can work wonders.

Perhaps a better option might be to work with a teacher or find a meditation community. Years ago, a five-minute interview with a teacher on a retreat told me it was time to loosen my grip on focus practices and shift to open awareness. That led to insights I had never had before and turned my practice into a respite rather than a battleground.

You can also consider taking a break from practice for a while, trying another mind-body practice, or brainstorming ways to make you practice a bit more restful and enjoyable.

Conclusion

Meditation is not an easy practice, but I believe it is something that can and should generally be enjoyable to do. Many sessions will be tough and we should all watch out for expectations that our practice produce only blissful experiences. With that said, enjoying practice is a good thing because it may motivate us to practice. In addition, learning that and how to enjoy a practice like meditation can teach us a lot about life and ourselves.

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How to Be Sure Your Teacher Knows Meditation

Recently, I had a blast from the past when I did a guided meditation with Lil Jon. I had heard that Lil Jon, who I had known only as a rapper and producer, had released an album of guided meditations (paid link). When I saw Peloton offer a guided meditation with him, I decided to give it a shot.

I have to be honest that Chelsea Jackson Roberts, a renowned teacher of yoga and other mind-body practices, did most of the heavy lifting on this particular meditation. Lil Jon offered a few words, but he didn’t truly guide the practice. And this is when I started pondering.

How Do You Know If Someone Knows Meditation?

This post is not about yucking anyone’s yum when it comes to meditation. There are a lot of ways that people can come to offer guided meditations and spiritual teachings. If people like Lil Jon bring people to meditation with their enthusiasm, then that is a good thing.

With that said, many people offer practices and mindfulness tips on the internet without training or even a regular meditation practice. Some of these individuals, like Lil Jon admits on the first track of his album, are upfront about these things but some are not.

In case you are wondering how you can tell if a teacher is a good source for meditation advice, here are some questions to ask.

1. What is your personal meditation practice like?

Training and education are important for anyone who wants to teach, but regular practice is still essential. Even after more than 1000 hours of training in mind-body practice, I can easily say that most of what I know about meditation came from meditating. Meditation is something that can make an impact even if you only do it for a little while. Yet, it’s also a skill that is best kept sharp.

Where possible, learning about a teacher’s practice, including style, number of years, typical session length, and retreat experience, can help you decide if they can support you. If you want to make a practice a long-term habit, it really helps to be guided by someone who has created one for themself.

2. What is the lineage of your teaching?

Meditation can mean a lot of things. Even within Buddhism, there are numerous lineages of teachings and meditation practices. Outside of this, there are still more.

I have an eclectic background myself, so I don’t profess to tell you which lineage is best here. However, if you are working with a meditation teacher or using a lot of their meditations, it helps to know the source of their teachings. In general, quality teachers will be upfront about this. If they aren’t, ask a question or do some Googling.

Image with question that asks how you know whether a person offering guided meditations knows what they are doing

3. What teacher training have you done?

If there’s one thing I hate about the legal profession, it’s the elitism some people display about law schools. I’m not here to apply that same elitism to meditation teacher programs, in part because I have done a variety of trainings and benefitted from them all.

With that said, you ought to consider whether the teacher you are working with has any training in meditation itself. Many yoga teachers offer meditation, but many basic (200-hour) yoga teacher trainings don’t offer instruction in meditation.

Likewise, it helps to know how many hours of training overall your teacher has done. If you are able to investigate the course requirements, it may also help you determine if the teacher’s training is enough for you.

4. Do you have other training that informs your teaching or use of meditation practices?

One thing that irritates me about discussions of meditation on the internet is that they are often oversimplified. Well-meaning people suggest that meditation is easy or make claims about it’s benefits that aren’t always justified. Even more common is that people fail to account for the risks, counter-indications, and adverse effects that go along with meditation.

For this reason, it is good to know if your teacher can help you modify practice or ensure your safety if you have past trauma, neurodivergence, or other health concerns. It may also help to know if your teacher has any special training in things relating to meditation, including mental health, fitness, yoga, compassion, or other modalities.

An image listing the questions from the blog post intended to help you determine if your teacher knows meditation

5. Do you teach meditation in any way besides offering guided meditations?

There is a difference between teaching meditation and guiding meditation. With a good script, a person with a nice voice and calm demeanor could easily guide a pretty relaxing meditation. The problem is that such a person may not have the training to know which practice to offer when or how to watch a student or audience for signs of distress.

If you are confident in your own ability to select meditations that work for you and modulate yourself in practice, this may not pose much of a risk. However, there may be a limit on what such a person could offer if you have questions about practice or need more support as your practice evolves. If this concerns you, ask whether the person teaches, with explicit instruction or talks, in addition to guiding meditation.

6. What ethical or accreditation standards guide your teaching?

Lawyers have ethical rules that guide our conduct with clients. When it comes to spiritual teachers and guides, ethical standards are much less universal. Some yoga teachers may be subject to ethical rules if they are members of accrediting organizations like Yoga Alliance. Likewise, teachers who are also mental health providers or affiliated with a Buddhist organization are likely subject to ethical requirements.

Many other teachers, even certified teachers, may not be subject to any written ethical codes. Of course, this does not mean that such teachers are unethical or unqualified. It may mean, however, that you must ask to determine if the teacher’s ethical values align with your needs.

Conclusion

This post is not intended as an outline to cross-examine anyone who offers guided meditations. My goal is to make meditation more accessible and not to serve as a gatekeeper for meditation practice.

With that said, there are many people who offer meditation or talk about mindfulness concepts and not all of them have training or experience. I offer this post to help you get curious about the people who may be supporting your practice with teachings or guided meditations. Use the questions to satisfy your curiosity, meet your personal needs, and protect your safety.

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How to Meditate When You Can’t See Mental Images

If you aren’t a writer, artist, or meditation teacher, you may not have investigated how clear mental images are for you. I have long known that I am not a “visual person” but I didn’t realize how “not visual” I am until I tried to meditate. Mental imagery for me is, at best, hazy and short-lived and requires intentional effort.

Most people may not think this is a big deal, but I do because I am a meditation teacher and a writer. Anyone who meditates has likely come across some visualization techniques in meditation practice. Because I meditate, I am acutely aware of my own past struggles with these practices. I couldn’t avoid them entirely, however, because many heart practices, including my favorite loving-kindness, use some form of visualization.

This is why I looked closer at the issue and got training in neurodiversity-informed mindfulness to understand it better. Based on this, I have learned to modify my meditation practice to work around my inability to visualize. This post will identify the tips that worked for me.

1. Meditate on Your Mental Visual Ability

Did you know that there is a condition called “aphantasia” which refers to the inability to see mental images? If you haven’t heard of this, you aren’t alone. I had only discovered it recently myself. Aphantasia is not a mental disorder or something that necessarily indicates a health condition. Instead, it’s just a way to describe one’s relative ability to see mental images.

Image with a self-test for aphantasia that can help you identify how strong your ability to visualize mental images

Test Option A

The good news for all of us is there is a handy test for exploring your ability to visualize yourself. As the image here shows, bring an apple to mind. Consider how detailed it is. Can you see color, shape and details? How long does the image stay in your mind? How easy is it for you to hold it there?

Test Option B

Another way to consider this is to talk about it with others. I started to understand the impact of my mental visual ability better when I was training to teach mindfulness and compassion. After one guided practice, a classmate described an elaborate image of a butterfly with beautiful colors graceful fluttering wings.

Based on both categories of tests, I don’t have aphantasia but I know that I am pretty close to it. I can see images but they are glimpses at best and I have to work really hard to hold them in my mind. My mind would never generate an elaborate image of a butterfly even if I tried really hard.

2. Don’t Judge Yourself

You may have already guessed what I am going to say next. Yeah, that’s right, this is where self-compassion has to join the party. To be honest, I felt a little jealous when I heard my classmate talk about her beautiful butterfly. It sounded cool. I wished I could see it myself.

But, I avoided judging myself and not just because the course in which this discussion happened was about teaching compassion cultivation. When my classmate shared her story, it helped me share my own. I am not blessed with mental visualization but I have other strengths (as I’ll discuss below).

If I focused too much on my reactions of what I couldn’t do, I risked missing the chance to explore what I could do. Beyond this, it’s not like self-judgment or criticism would help. Thus, my advice when considering your own ability to visualize is to avoid judging yourself.

Image with a quiz that allows self-reflection of mental imagery, including how detailed, how clear and vivid, how easy it is to hold, and how long the imagery lasts

3. Meditate on Other Areas of Strength

If there was a test like the one above for the ability to detect physical sensations in the body, I would get high ratings. After I got comfortable with my body and learned to attend to it, I realized that my awareness of felt sensations is strong. I can note subtle differences in sensation, hold my attention on them for a long time, and this comes without effort.

Similarly, when it comes to verbal and auditory processing, I am pretty sensitive. My mind doesn’t think in pictures but words are ever present. Music affects me deeply and the auditory quality of words is a skill I rely on frequently in writing, public speaking, and crafting guided meditations.

This goes to show that a relative lack of ability in one area is not the same as a lack of ability overall. Even if you aren’t a visual person, you may have other strengths. Taking the time to identify other strengths may help you explore how to address a relative lack of visual ability.

4. Lean on Your Strengths as You Meditate

One approach for those of us who are not visual is simply to avoid meditations with visualization. For elaborately imaginative practices, I admit that this is generally what I do. This is not, however, my approach with for all styles of practice.

Because my ability to feel physical sensations is robust and comes easily to me, I have a come up with my own meditation hack. What this boils down to is that I don’t take the word “visualize” literally. When I am told to “visualize” something, I don’t force a mental image. Instead, I connect with the felt sense of something.

How to Visualize When You Can’t Visualize

For example, if I am told to visualize being outside on a nature walk, I don’t try to force images of grasses, trees, and the sky in my mind. Instead, I connect with the sensory and kinesthetic memory of walking in nature. I imagine the internal experience of walking in nature in terms of physical sensations.

If this sounds complicated, remember that physical sensation is easy for me. It may be complicated to describe in words but it is easy for me to do in practice. Even better,I can still participate in the meditation and get the same benefits all while doing it my way.

“Visualizing” Someone’s Presence for Loving-Kindness

I do something similar when it comes to loving-kindness. With that style of practice, the common instruction is to bring someone to mind and to allow that mental imagery evoke feelings in your heart area. For me, though, I cut out the middle man because imagery doesn’t help.

Instead, I bring someone to mind by name and connect with the felt sense of their presence. In particular, I may invoke a memory of how it feels to be in that person’s presence or I may notice the felt sense that emerges upon bringing their mind to name. Since loving-kindness practice includes consideration of felt sensations in the body, this style is fairly simple to modify for those of us who aren’t visual.

An image for modifications to meditation practice for those who don't see mental imagery or have limits in their ability to do so

5. Explore Other Options When You Meditate

My last point here is a simple reminder to keep exploring and being curious. I recently started exploring meditation with my eyes open and I was shocked to discover that it made mental images during meditation more vivid. I would have thoughts having content in my visual place would make inner visualizations impossible for me.

Upon investigation, though, I found that the opposite was true. Not only could I tell the difference between actual visual content and mental visual content, but also the mental visual content seemed more robust. What does this mean?

The big lesson here is that the procedures of your practice can influence your meditation experience. If you close or open eyes, listen to meditations or music, or sit or lie down, it very well may affect your inner experience. If you struggle with some aspect of practice or just get curious, it can be fun and eye-opening (pun intended) to see what a new mode of practice offers.

Conclusion

If mental imagery is not strong for you, it does not mean you can’t meditate. It doesn’t even mean that you can’t do meditations which include visualization. All of us are wired differently with various strengths and challenges. With self-compassion and curious exploration, you can learn ways to modify meditation practice even if visualization is not your strength.

If you would like to assess how visual you are, try this Guided Reflection. It will help you explore your capacity for visual imagery to your capacity for awareness of physical sensations. You can listen on YouTube here or on Insight Timer.

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The Right Intention Can Sustain a Meditation Practice

When I was new to meditation, I used to hate it when a guided practice would encourage me to “set an intention” for practice. I didn’t know what that meant. I was not used to thinking about my intentions or living my life as if I got to pick one. In general, I was sitting because I was tired or thinking too much or because I was trying to keep my meditation habit alive.

For a long time, this intention was enough to sustain my practice. Early on, the physical benefits of learning to manage my stress were so obvious that feeling better was my sole intention. In those days, I would sit and find some new energy or cure a headache. With benefits like those, the intention was apparent: I just wanted to feel better.

Rethinking Intention

This week, though, I have been thinking about the power of intention in a deeper way. I am preparing to give a dharma talk to my local meditation community about how I went from novice meditator to teacher. My path was far from perfect and includes a span of nearly a year in which my practice faded away entirely.

In the course of preparing the talk, I realized that a shift in intention made all the difference for me. Meditation has always been a self-care strategy for me. It helps me slow down, get in touch with myself, and care for myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It helps me face challenges and remember self-compassion.

From Self-Care to Guiding Principle

At some point along the way, though, meditation became more than self-care for me. Eventually, after years of sitting, I started to realize that my meditation practice didn’t just help me care for myself better. Instead, meditation helped me take care of everybody I came in contact with better.

This is in part what led me to start teaching. I knew from personal experience that stress, anxiety, and overwhelm as a lawyer led to bad conduct and worse results. I began teaching other lawyers and professionals about mindfulness practices because they had made such a difference for me.

Image for blog post with options for common intentions for meditation practice

Intention Inspires Action

Over and above this, though, was the truth that I behaved better, acted more kindly, and was more available to help others when I kept my meditation practice robust. In fact, I have found that my practice is stronger when I am busy because I know that is when I need it most. Indeed, I even have increasingly made time to go on retreat because I know it makes me a calmer lawyer, more present parent, and a happier person all around.

Realizing these benefits helps me stick with my practice even when motivation is hard to muster. Even as a meditation teacher, my practice is far from perfect. I struggle with laziness, resistance, and excuses like anyone. Sometimes I am tired, I don’t feel good, or I just don’t feel like meditating.

These are the times when my intention helps me the most. I remember that I’m not just meditating for me. I’m meditating for everyone I love, for everyone I work with, everyone who depends on me, and everyone I meet. In short, I remember that I can give my best to others when I take care of myself first.

What Intentions for Meditation Are There?

There are different schools of thought about the intention which should guide meditation practice. If your intention is purely self-care, there is no shame in that. That was my sole motivation for years and it made a huge difference in my life.

If your intention is self-improvement, that can be wonderful too. In reality, I have experienced how a balanced effort to improve oneself can lead to more ethical living and benefit others.

Image asking the question what is your motivation for meditation practice

What Motivates Your Meditation Practice?

The point of this post is not for me or any other teacher to tell you what your intention should be. Rather, the point is to encourage you to discover the intention for your own mindfulness practice. You may not know what your intention is right away and that’s okay.

If you keep asking, though, you may eventually realize what is motivating you to keep meditating. Once you understand this you will discover a powerful motivational tool to help keep your practice robust. If you are lucky, you may also unearth a guiding principle that can positively influence the direction of your life.

If you have struggled with motivation for your meditation practice, we have some resources that might help. Check out our Meditation Habit Worksheet to see if any subtle tweaks can make a difference. You can also check out our Pause and Begin Again e-book, which offers strategies for starting and restarting a meditation practice. Lastly, consider ways to make your practice more enjoyable here.

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Three Simple Steps Lawyers Can Use to Build Self-Compassion

Cover image for the blog post Three Simple Steps Lawyers Can Use to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Self-compassion features prominently on this blog. In part that is because cultivating self-compassion is a huge part of my personal journey. I consider it one of the greatest gifts of my meditation practice and perhaps the biggest shift in my life. It is what helped me grow after decades of overthinking, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

My story, though, is not unique. Self-compassion has been proven to help people achieve goals, build happiness, take risks, and foster closer relationships. Beyond this, even for those of us to whom it does not come naturally, self-compassion can be cultivated with practice and time.

But how do you “practice self-compassion.” The good news is that this this, too, has been researched. Thanks to the work of researcher and author, Kristin Neff, among others, we know that self-compassion has three primary aspects which any of us can use to learn to bring into your own life and work to help yourself.

1. Mindfulness

Many of us who struggle with self-compassion worry that it may cause us to become too soft on ourselves. We may be concerned that we will rest on our laurels, get a big head, or even overlook our own unethical or hurtful conduct. If this is you, you may be relieved to learn that mindfulness is an essential element of self-compassion.

At its heart, self-compassion means that we are sensitive to our own needs and suffering. In this way, mindfulness has to be there because we can’t be compassionate towards something of which we are unaware. This aspect can matter a lot for lawyers who are often focused on the suffering of others. Just acknowledging our own struggles is where mindfulness fits in in to self-compassion.

Beyond this, though, mindfulness is also a steadying and stabilizing force. This is what helps us notice things without getting lost in them. In the context of self-compassion, mindfulness is what helps us realize we are having a problem without piling on by taking the situation personally or judging ourselves for our reactions.

An image sharing the benefits of cultivating self-compassion for lawyers and others

2. Common Humanity

The next aspect of self-compassion is common humanity. This aspect helps us embed our individual struggle in the context of the human story. When bad things happen, it is very easy to think “why me” or “woe is me” or “I’m the worst person in the world.”

Invoking common humanity, though, helps you zoom out from this common storyline. Instead of responding “why me” when a hard situation happens, you may consider that bad things are an unfortunate but normal part of life. Instead of the self-pity of “woe is me” or self-judgment, you may remember that your story is like the stories of so many others.

This aspect of self-compassion is important for lawyers especially. In hard times, even the best of us may tend to self-isolate or get lost in shame. Common humanity is what helps us avoid that tangle because it reminds us of our connection to other people. At a minimum, this can help loosen the grip of self-judgment. Eventually, though, it may also help us seek out and accept kindness and support from our community when we need it most.

3. Self-Kindness

The last aspect of self-compassion flows from the first two. Once you have become aware of your own suffering and recognized it as a part of the human story, it becomes easier to take care of yourself.

To put it very simply, self-kindness means giving yourself what you need. This sounds simple and it truly can be when we let it. At the beginning, though, it may feel pretty awkward.

Think about it for a minute: how much were you taught to take care of yourself? Most of us weren’t. Instead, many lawyers have historically been taught to take care of others first. We are validated and praised when we set our feelings aside and focus on someone else’s needs.

Image showing the elements of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness

Most of these lessons aren’t intended to be taken in the extreme, but when they aren’t balanced by other teachings and practices they can become so. That’s why self-compassion cultivation is important and has been shown to be so powerful: it empowers us to strike a balance in caring for ourselves and others.

In some situations and after some practice, we may get pretty good at identifying our needs and honoring them. If you need some help, though, I recommend considering the basic human needs first. The acronym HALT for “hungry, angry, lonely, tired” is a basic and easy to memorize tool that can help you scan through the usual suspects of basic needs. For a more in-depth version of this, I like this list of needs from Marshall Rosenberg, the author of Nonviolent Communication.

Conclusion

These are the three aspects of self-compassion, but knowing these aspects is just the first step. The next step is putting them into practice. Though it may feel awkward at first and you won’t always have the presence of mind to bring these steps to mind, I hope you can find ways to use them in your life and work. I have done so and it has helped me take care of myself and my community much better.

If you want to try some self-compassion practices, check out some of these guided meditations on our YouTube channel here:

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