Mindfulness in Crisis: How Titration Helps Lawyers Manage News Stress

Image of man reading news online with title of post that says "Mindfulness in Crisis: How Titration Helps Lawyers Manage News Stress"

I didn’t get a new post written last week. This time, my schedule is not to blame. I was home due to the massive snowstorm that plowed through my community and much of the United States. Instead, my only excuse was that I struggled to write because I was troubled by the news.

I try to avoid taking positions on the news in this blog. I don’t want to give people the wrong idea that mindfulness practice is restricted to a single political persuasion. It isn’t. But as a mindfulness teacher and a lawyer it does not feel right for me to pretend like political and social events don’t affect us. They do.

My point here is not to take a position on the events in the news. I do that via appropriate means in other ways. It is important to address the reality that the news cycle recently has been hard on almost all of us. In this post, I will share a mindfulness strategy that has helps me deal with the news: titration.

Two common solutions for lawyers trying to deal with the news.

There are two common forms of mental health advice when it comes to the news cycle. One camp suggests avoidance and self-preservation. The appeal of this school of thought is obvious. The news cycle recently and often in general is filled with violent images and stories of conflict.

Though these stories stir our emotions, they often relate to things outside of our control. This is a recipe for empathic overwhelm. Based on this, some people argue that we should turn off the news, stay off our phones, and focus on self-care.

Others take the opposite view. They tell us that we are scared and concerned for a reason. They urge us to find ways to act, to call our senators, raise our voices, make donations, or even attend meetings or protests.

This path does not offer the respite of the first, but it promises a greater sense of agency in the world. It also offers a use for all of the energy we are bound to feel watching conflict play out on the news. It could even help us feel less alone and more engaged in our community, especially it leads us to in-person experiences.

Can mindfulness offer lawyers a middle path?

As indicated above, there is wisdom in both of the approaches stated above, but there are also downsides. For lawyers, the downside of the self-care route may be that it could inspire guilt. It could also be really hard to actually relax and rest for too long, knowing that turbulence is happening in the world.

The downside of the engagement approach, of course, is that many lawyers may not feel safe to do so. Client opinion or law firm policies may prevent us from engaging with social or political issues as much as lawyers might like. Some lawyers may not have the energy or mental space to even face the news, let alone engage civically or politically in response to it.

Given the pros and cons for each approach, the mindfulness teacher in me reflexively looks for a middle way. After some struggle this weekend, I think I finally found my answer. The issue is not a true dichotomy between self-care and engaging with the world in turbulent times. Instead, it is possible to do both. A practice called “titration” provides a useful model.

The Mindfulness Practice of Titration

Titration is a mindfulness practice that allows us to approach difficult experiences slowly, gradually, and in manageable doses. A very common way of using this strategy in meditation practice is in response to powerful emotions or difficult bodily sensations.

The classical mindfulness directive is to allow the difficult experience to arise and be fully present with it. But for truly powerful emotions or painful sensations, though, this advice can leave us overwhelmed. For people with trauma or other conditions, this advice may be impractical.

Out of self-compassion and wisdom, then, we can instead learn to titrate by noticing small bits of the experience over time. To do this, you might notice the challenging emotion or sensation for a few moments. Instead of simply staying with that difficult experience, though, you would then shift attention to something pleasant or neutral as a means of rest and recovery.

When you feel ready again, you can return attention to the area of difficulty. This strategy is called pendulation, a specific variety of titration, because it helps you take small doses of a difficult experience instead of taking it in all at once.

Image with question asking what titration is and answer which says "Titration is a mindfulness practice that allows us to approach difficult experiences slowly, gradually, and in manageable doses. To do this, you might notice the challenging emotion or sensation for a few moments, then shift attention to something pleasant or neutral as a means of rest and recovery."

Why titration helps.

Titration is a great skill for lawyers for work and life in general. Many of us face times of high conflict and stress. Lawyers must often deal with people who present us with difficult circumstances and issues.

Titration offers us the ability to face the difficulties of life on our terms. It marries courage with self-kindness. It balances stability with flexibility. It gives us a real strategy for caring for our minds, hearts, and bodies as we engage with a sometimes challenging world.

As someone who has had anxiety most of my life, I have found that mindfulness practices like titration build a lot of confidence. Even though they don’t mean that I will never be afraid, they give me a road map to follow when fear arises.

This means I am allowed to be afraid because I have faith that I can manage it when it arises. If I can be afraid, that means I can do the things in life and work that I need to do. This translates to faith in myself and great confidence for managing my life.

How to apply the concept of titration to a challenging news cycle.

I know it sounds weird to say this, but you can apply titration to the news and world events too. With this practice, you can take the wisdom of the people advocating rest and self-care and combine it with the necessity of engaged citizenship.

With this approach, you do not have to shield yourself entirely from the news during difficult times. You can scroll social media, listen to or watch the news for the purpose of obtaining information. As you do, though, it is best to monitor yourself for how the news is affecting you.

If it is affecting your mood, behavior, or leading to compulsive doomscrolling, it may be time for a break. You also might consider caring for yourself with restorative practices, including exercise, calming strategies, or talking with a trusted friend.

Another strategy that I like is to take some small but productive action in response to what I see on the news. I may make a donation, research ways to offer help, or find ways to support a worthy cause. Then after I have done my part, I let go of the issue and turn my attention elsewhere.

Given how engrossing TV news and social media can be, it may be wise to schedule breaks or plan activities to avoid overwhelming yourself. This may mean scheduling time with other people, getting outside, or just leaving your phone out of arm’s reach.

Conclusion

There is never a lack of challenging information waiting for us on the news and social media. When times are particularly difficult, it can be tempting for lawyers and other professionals to take an all or nothing approach. We can either be sucked in by the neverending news cycle, which may lead to overwhelm. Or we can be tempted to check out in the pursuit of self-preservation.

This post is not intended to tell you how you should respond to the social and political issues you see on the news. Instead, it explains one strategy, titration, that may provide a way to balance self-care and engaged citizenship as we face turbulent times.


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Mindfulness Techniques That Help Lawyers Break Out of Stress Cycles

Image of lawyer reviewing file with title for blog post that says "Mindfulness Techniques That Help Lawyers Break Out of Stress Cycles"

Stress can build quickly in the legal profession, often trapping lawyers in exhausting cycles of overthinking, pressure, and emotional fatigue. In fact, a Reuters study found that 66% of lawyers said their time in the profession had harmed their mental health. Another 46% reported they were considering leaving entirely due to stress or burnout.

Mindfulness offers a practical, accessible way to interrupt those patterns. Grounding the mind, easing tension, and finding brief moments of clarity help lawyers break free from reactive stress loops. These practices help them reconnect with their work from a place of balance and control.

In this article, we’ll explore simple mindfulness techniques that support this shift.

Recognizing Stress Triggers Before They Spiral

Recognizing stress triggers early is one of the most powerful ways lawyers can stop stress cycles before they take over. Mindfulness helps by bringing attention to the first signs of tension. It also highlights the subtle moments when the body or mind signals that something is off.

The Mayo Clinic suggests starting by identifying what reliably causes your stress. What makes you feel tense, irritated, or suddenly overwhelmed? Do you notice headaches or stomach discomfort without a clear medical cause? Is your focus slipping or your sleep disrupted?

By observing these cues with curiosity instead of judgment, lawyers can catch stress at its earliest stages. They can then take mindful action before it spirals into a full cycle of pressure and reactivity.

Grounding Techniques That Instantly Calm the Nervous System

Grounding techniques help the nervous system settle quickly by directing attention away from spiraling thoughts and back into the present moment. 

One simple option is slow, intentional breathing where you inhale deeply, pause briefly, and then exhale longer than you inhaled. This signals the body to relax and reduces the intensity of stress. Another method is physical grounding, like placing your feet on the floor or pressing your palms together. 

The Cleveland Clinic also recommends the 3-3-3 technique, which means noticing three things you can see, hear, and touch. It may be a tree outside the window, a book on your shelf, or a photo on your desk. Pay attention to colors, textures, and small details. Then repeat the process for sounds and physical sensations. 

These practices create an immediate feeling of steadiness and help lawyers regain control during high-pressure moments.

Mindful Reflection Practices for Long-Term Stress Reduction

Mindful reflection helps lawyers break long-term stress patterns by creating space to understand what truly affects their well-being. Simple practices such as journaling, a mindful review of the day, or intentional decompression routines create space to slow down. They also help you notice what triggered stress and how you responded. 

Approaching these reflections with curiosity rather than judgment builds resilience and prevents the same stressful cycles from repeating. 

Reflection can also inspire long-term professional growth, especially when lawyers explore new ways to shape their careers through flexible learning paths. This can include options like pursuing an online Juris Doctorate program. Such opportunities help lawyers grow their skills, broaden their practice options, and align their careers with their goals. 

Cleveland State University notes that an online JD program requires 90 credits and includes experiential learning. The best thing is that it can be completed part-time in just over three years.

Using Mindful Pauses to Interrupt Negative Thought Loops

Using mindful pauses is one of the most effective ways for lawyers to interrupt negative thought loops before they intensify. A mindful pause can be as simple as stopping for a moment and taking a slow breath. It also involves observing what is happening in your mind without getting pulled into it. This brief reset creates enough space to choose a calmer response instead of reacting automatically. 

Verywell Mind also suggests shifting your focus through healthy distractions when thoughts feel especially persistent. Stepping outside, moving your body, getting absorbed in a project, or reading for a few minutes can all help. Even activities like tai chi or karate can clear the mind. These small pauses redirect mental energy and break the momentum of stress-driven thinking.

Body Awareness Practices That Release Tension and Promote Focus

Body awareness practices help lawyers release built-up tension and return to a state of steady focus during demanding workdays. These techniques involve checking in with physical sensations rather than ignoring them, which is something many attorneys unintentionally do while rushing between tasks. 

Noticing tightness in areas like the jaw, shoulders, or lower back is an important first step. It gives you the chance to gently relax those spots with slow breathing or simple stretches. Even simple actions like rolling the shoulders, loosening the neck, or unclenching the hands can reduce stress immediately. 

Bringing attention back to the body also quiets mental noise. The result is clearer thinking and more thoughtful, deliberate responses. This renewed physical awareness supports better concentration and more grounded decision-making.

Emotional Labeling to Reduce Overwhelm and Reclaim Control

Emotional labeling is a simple but powerful mindfulness practice that helps lawyers reduce overwhelm and regain a sense of control. Instead of getting swept up in stress, you pause and name what you feel. 

Labeling the emotion creates space and helps you understand what is happening inside. This shift calms the nervous system and interrupts the urge to react quickly or defensively. 

By identifying emotions with honesty and without judgment, lawyers can navigate challenging situations with more clarity, stability, and confidence.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can mindfulness help lawyers who struggle with chronic stress or anxiety?

Yes, mindfulness can help lawyers. It trains the mind to stay present, reduces overthinking, and calms the nervous system. With regular practice, lawyers often feel more grounded, clearer in their decisions, and better able to manage ongoing pressure.

What mindfulness techniques work best during high-stakes legal work?

Breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and brief mindful pauses work best during high-stakes legal work. These practices steady the mind, reduce tension, and help lawyers stay focused and composed. Even a few slow breaths or a quick sensory check can restore clarity in demanding moments.

How do I know if my mindfulness routine is actually working?

You’ll know your mindfulness routine is working when you notice small but consistent shifts. These may include calmer reactions, better focus, improved sleep, or less tension during stressful moments. You may also find it easier to pause before responding and recover more quickly from stressful situations.

Breaking the Cycle With Mindful Awareness

Mindfulness gives lawyers practical tools to step out of stress cycles and return to a steadier, more grounded way of working. Even small practices can create meaningful shifts in focus, clarity, and emotional balance. 

By integrating these techniques into daily routines, lawyers can strengthen their resilience and navigate their profession with greater ease and confidence.


Author bio: Writer by day, dream catcher by night. Marchelle Abrahams cut her teeth during the infancy of the internet when the dial sound of the modem was more than a soundbite at a rave. Not a Millennial and not a Boomer, Marchelle is an in-betweener, making her a special breed of human. As a qualified journalist, Marchelle believes her superpower is stringing a few words together and people reading them. That, and the ability to take her kids on with her unique brand of gnarly comebacks.


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Tips for Lawyers: Manage Stress Getting Back to School

Image of chalk board and school supplies with title of blog post "Tips for Lawyers: Manage Stress Getting Back to School"

As a school lawyer, I normally love back to school season. This year, though, I am struggling. The summer was busier than I expected and the back to school rush at work happened earlier too. This means that I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stressed.

What is a lawyer and meditation teacher to do with this situation? Well, I don’t promise to be an expert here. This struggle is real for many of us for a reason. But I can say that a few intentional strategies have helped me establish order and get ready for back to school.

Manage the Biggest Stress Points First

When things get very busy, I narrow the scope of my focus. My guiding principle is to do now what has to be done today. Clearly, this is not a sustainable approach on a long-term basis. Living day to day has some advantages, but so does planning ahead.

Even so, focusing on what has to be done right now is an essential strategy for regaining order in times of chaos. It can help you build some momentum for managing the challenges of life. It can also help you avoid other problems that may emerge later if you don’t tackle priorities first.

Thus, when your schedule is too busy or life is in flux, a first essential step is identifying prioriy tasks and addressing those first.

Simplify and, If Possible, Delegate

After you have triaged the priority issues, another step for reestablishing order is to simplify whatever you can. Remove unnecessary steps or flourishes from projects. Look for easier ways to accomplish tasks. Delegate or get help in any way that you can.

Many lawyers tend to be high achievers. This means that we often do more than what the circumstances truly require. When time allows, this is not a terrible life strategy to adopt. But in times of stress or change, it can add work and sap energy that you do not have. Simplifying tasks and focusing on what is truly essential can help you avoid this trap.

As a quick example of this, I used this strategy to handle some of the back to school chores for my kids. They had a doctor’s appointment and needed new shoes. Instead of going to my favorite shoe store, I went to one very close to the doctor’s office. This allowed me to consolidate travel time, so the kids could get new shoes and I could get the job done.

When time is limited, don’t make extra work for yourself. Simplify tasks as much as possible.

Image of post it note with question "How could I make this simpler?" as discussed in the blog post about back to school

Prioritize Healthy Habits

When times are busy or stressful, healthy and supportive habits are often the first things to suffer. Even though most of us know what is good for us, disarray in one’s schedule can make it harder to eat, sleep, and exercise like we should. These habits, though, can have an immediate beneficial impact on how we feel mentally and physically.

For this reason, when my schedule is in flux, I often prioritize the basics. I try to refresh my sleep hygiene protocols and get a regular schedule back in place. I make sure I have some healthy ingredients on hand so that I can eat nutrient-dense meals to power my days. Even though it can be a struggle, I get back to my normal meditation and exercise routine too.

Let me be clear. All of these things take time and energy to manage. Despite this, I prioritize them in times of change or stress because I know they are priorities. These habits help me feel my best and manage stress, so that I can face whatever I need to face in my daily life. In addition, because these practices are part of my normal routine, returning to them helps me create a sense of normalcy and order.

Conclusion

Back to school time can be a fun and exciting time. For many lawyers, though, it is also a stressful time. It’s a time of change and extra work to transition to a new phase in life. With some intentionality, though, you can manage the time crunch, stress, and extra work. I hope these tips help you regain some control and establish a new order that will help you and your family thrive this school year.


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Need Support This Election Day? Find It Here.

Image with details about meditations offered by the Mindfulness in Law Society to provide community and support during election day

If you haven’t voted already, I hope that you have a plan to do so. I was lucky to early vote yesterday few challenges and only a short wait. The only bad thing about this is that now all I can do is wait for the election results.

Waiting is not something I enjoy in normal circumstances. Most of us, regardless of political persuasion, would probably agree that this election cycle is anything but normal. It’s likely that you may be feeling stress, anxiety, or even significant fear about the election results.

Meditation Is Not a Magic Pill but It Can Be a Refuge

I take great pains as a lawyer and mindfulness teacher to avoid treating mindfulness practice like a magic pill. Meditation isn’t something you can do to make all the problems of life go away. To the contrary, when done right, meditation may help you get clearer about life. It’s one reason why the practice is hard.

Paradoxically, though, at the same time meditation can also be a refuge. It can be a safe space to find calm when the world is turbulent. Meditation can offer an opportunity for self-acceptance to deal with difficult emotions. At the most basic level, it can offer us at least a few minutes where we aren’t ruminating or doom scrolling about the state of the world.

Meditation Can Help Us Reorient to Goodness

The purpose meditation most often serves for me as a lawyer, mom, and community leader is that it reorients me to goodness. I’m a busy lady, I frequently deal with conflict, I’m often lost in my thoughts, and I tend to be intense and competitive. Meditation helps me rebalance the scales.

When I meditate, I let go of controlling things for a while. I let go of thinking and instead reactivate my faculties to perceive and sense. I stop judging and instead let holding and allowing to take the lead. And instead of closing off my heart, I work on opening it to myself, my community, and even the people who challenge me. This is how meditation can be a refuge that enables us to find stability so we can engage more deeply with life.

MILS Practices for Election Day

It is this idea that motivated me to volunteer to lead a meditation practice for the Mindfulness in Law Society on Election Day. First, I knew that offering a practice would be the most compassionate things I could do for myself. It would keep me busy and allow me to do something good and that I loved on a hard day.

Second, I knew that other lawyers out there were probably worried like me. Meditation can be a challenge when times are hard, so doing the practice in community can really help. Frankly, just remembering that you have a community can really help. That’s why MILS is offering a special practice on Election Day and the day after to offer the support of community to all in the legal profession.

Details of the MILS Election Day Support Practices

The Mindfulness in Law Society is offering 2 special practices on Election Day and the day after, Wednesday November 6th. Here are the details:

Election Day Sit

Event Details: I will offer a self-compassion meditation practice at 12 PM PST / 3 PM EST on Election Day, November 5th, on Zoom. This will be open to any law student or professor, lawyer, or anyone who works for a law firm or in the legal profession. The practice will focus on finding refuge in one’s community to support oneself.

How to Join: As a special event, you will need to register on Zoom to join the sit. The event is free of charge but you must register here for the link.

Special Wakeful Wednesday Sit

Event Details: I was set to guide the Wakeful Wednesday Sit this week, but my friend and highly experienced teacher, Judi Cohen, agreed to fill in for me. Knowing that none of us can predict what will happen this week, Judi will offer a special practice about welcoming whatever emotions may arise.

How to Join: This is a recurring event for MILS so simply click this link to the Virtual Sits page and hit “Wakeful Wednesday” to join on Zoom at 12 PM PST / 3 PM PST on November 6th.

Feel Free to Join Us in Community

I hope that you are making your voice heard at the polls this week. After you do that, please join us to practice meditation in community. Both practices are open to law students, law professors, lawyers regardless of practice status, paralegals, and anyone who works in the legal profession.

Even if you cannot join us for the sits, I will be wishing that all of you are safe, healthy, happy, and at peace.


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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New Download: Stress Management Workbook

Cover image for blog post sharing stress management workbook for lawyers and profesionals

We just finished Well-Being Week in Law. One of the biggest struggles for many lawyers when it comes to well-being is stress. Even though our jobs are very stressful, many lawyers never learn good strategies for stress management.

To be sure, I believe in a holistic approach to stress management. As I have written before, change is needed in workplaces, our culture, and in the legal profession when it comes to mental health. Firms and companies should consider the overall impact of their policies and practices on employee mental health. In addition, lawyers in a position of power to reduce or avoid stress for ourselves or others should certainly do so.

Why Individual Stress Management Can Help

The thing is, though, that not matter how good our workplace policies or personal practices, stress always happens. It is a function of life. For lawyers, too, the challenging circumstances in which we often work play a big part. As a result, it is a good idea for lawyers and others in stressful jobs to understand stress and learn good stress management skills.

In part, this is because the way we respond to stress can have a huge impact in how it affects us. When we respond with awareness and self-kindness, we can learn approaches that work better for us and help us treat others better in the midst of stress.

Cover image for stress management workbook for lawyers and professionals.

Stress Management Is Not Doing It All on Your Own

That is one reason I speak and teach about stress management for lawyers and other professionals. Of course, as an introvert, I know that group discussion is not the only way to gain insights. Sometimes personal reflection may help us learn about ourselves too.

For those who want to consider stress management for themselves, I developed the Stress Management Workbook. It will help you bring awareness to practices and habits around stress and consider other ways of responding to it. Of course, social supports and help (including from trained professionals) is a huge element of stress management. Do not take this resource as a sign to manage stress all on your own. Instead, use it as a tool for fostering better connection with yourself and others.

Where Can I Get the Workbook?

To get the workbook, follow the link here, enter your email address, and download. That’s it.

While you’re at it, you can check out our other downloads for:


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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5 Healthy Ways to Handle Emotions as a Lawyer

Cover image for blog post with title "Five Healthy Ways to Handle Emotions as a Lawyer"

The first question I ever asked a mindfulness teacher showed how uncomfortable I used to be with my emotions. In the Zen tradition, you get an opportunity for an interview with the teacher when you go on retreat. I was totally unprepared for this on my first one so I asked the question at the top of my mind: is it okay if I cry when I meditate?

In not so many words, the teacher kindly explained that, yes it was perfectly healthy for emotions to came up during meditation. She wisely didn’t push me too hard to examine why I had asked the question at all and let me figure out that more fundamental issue for myself. In retrospect, I now know that the question isn’t whether it is okay to cry during meditation.

The better question is why did I ever think it was a problem in the first place?

Emotions Are a Part of Healthy Life and Mindfulness Practice.

As I eventually discovered, I had been making some assumptions about my mindfulness practice and myself. I had assumed that meditation was about being calm. To dive a bit deeper, I had generally assumed that I should be in control of my emotions. When I reacted in ways that I didn’t expect, it didn’t feel healthy. Instead, it seemed to signal a problem.

In years of practice, I have come to learn that mindfulness is not about being calm. Instead, it is about being as you are. A perceived lack of control over emotions isn’t the problem either. Usually, the problems arise when we fight against that lack of control.

Even so, lawyers are in the position where we often must modulate and monitor our emotions to do our jobs. How can we do this in a healthy way? Here are the five strategies rooted in mindfulness and compassion that I use.

Image listing the five healthy ways to handle emotions with mindfulness as shared in the blog post

1. Give Your Emotions time.

Emotions sometimes have deeper meanings and sometimes they don’t. One of the best ways to tell the difference is to give yourself a moment to watch them and see what happens. The first thing you will notice if you can let emotions be is that they don’t last very long. In themselves, the bodily sensations often last about 90 seconds before resolving or changing to something else.

So, if you can pause for a few breaths, let your body settle, and give your brain a chance to catch up, you may understand better what your emotions are trying to tell you. If nothing else, you’ll be present for yourself in an authentic way and remember for a moment that you are a human being who is affected by the world and that’s not entirely a bad thing.

2. Give Your Emotions Space.

As you give your emotions time, it also helps to give them space. What I mean by this is a few things. First, don’t force a conclusion right away. Don’t immediately put your emotions under the microscope. Don’t demand an explanation. Remember that emotions are feelings and they are not necessarily logical, so don’t judge or add on extra baggage that doesn’t need to be there.

Second, it also means to let yourself expand around the emotions. Sometimes big emotions can feel overwhelming. In those times, I find the breath helpful as a tool to help me feel a sense of expansion as I make space for emotions. Strong emotions can also push us to contract around them, so the practice of allowing them to float (not pushing them away or reacting to them) is a way to honor our emotions while avoiding rash and potentially harmful actions.

Image from blog post sharing quote about mindfulness practice that says "meditation is not about being calm. It is about being as you are in any given moment."

3. Move to Release Your Emotions.

Meditation is excellent for some emotions, but I find movement more helpful for dealing with the energetic ones like anger, frustration, or nervousness. After years of practice, I can sense when I am too keyed up to meditate. In those situations, I take a walk, do a strenuous workout, or put my energy to good use by doing yard or housework.

The movement helps me to avoid ruminating about the situation and, even if I don’t get full clarity by the end of the activity, at least I did something good for myself or completed a chore. I also use this strategy when my calendar or case load give me reason to anticipate strong emotions. I make a point of working out before difficult depositions or important presentations.

Even if short, I take walks or do some stretching or yoga the weeks I am in trial. At their heart, emotions are sensations which is energy. Movement can make you feel physically better and discharge some of that extra energy, so it is a great response to emotional surges.

4. Share Your Emotions.

Lawyers sometimes must remind ourselves that we don’t have to handle everything on our own. As an introvert, this is true for me. When things are awkward, I tend hide them or try to fix them before anyone notices. Eventually I learned, though, that all the self-care strategies in the world are no match for the loved ones in my life.

The reason is that our emotions can easily get mixed up with shame. Sharing our experience with those we trust is the most effective way to counteract shame. In many cases, our loved ones or trained professionals can’t change the situation or even offer wise advice. They can, however, remind us that we aren’t alone and our feelings matter and that is valuable.

Image of blog post post author with quote that says "The healthy way to deal with emotions as a lawyer isn't treating them as a problem, but instead embracing them as a part of the human experience."

5. Care for Your Emotions.

The first few strategies emphasized some distance from one’s emotions to build stability in the midst of turbulence. Ultimately, though, practice with your emotions may reveal the truth that you can’t and shouldn’t try to become aloof from them.

One amazing thing I have seen repeatedly is that compassion emerges when we feel suffering, whether it is our own or someone else’s. This isn’t to say you should always take on suffering or never use strategies to help yourself get distance when needed. It is to say that feeling our emotions and treating them like they matter is essential.

This means being present for and accepting of ourselves even when our emotions are inconvenient, irrational, or uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean we always act based on our emotions, but it does require dropping the pretense that we can somehow rise above them.  

Law practice is a rational, logical, and competitive. If we are honest, though, it’s also highly emotional, intuitive, and relationship based. Emotional intelligence is not merely about recognizing emotions in ourselves and others. Because of the toll that law practice can take on legal professionals, it is also essential to learn strategies to honor and care for our own emotions. This is not just true because it can help you maintain or improve solid performance at work, but also because you are a human being and your lived experience matters.

Image with quote from the blog post that says "Emotions help us remember that we are human beings affected by the world and that's not entirely a bad thing."

In short, the healthy way to deal with emotions as a lawyer isn’t treating your emotions as a problem, but instead embracing them as a part of the human experience. Coming from someone who used to struggle mightily with this, I know that this takes patience, trust, and effort but these strategies derived from mindfulness and compassion can help.    


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Book Review: The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal

This month I am focusing on debunking myths relating to mindfulness, compassion, and mental health. After all my years of meditation, I still find myself holding onto a few myths every now and then. One of those myths is that stress is bad for you.

As a lawyer, I have been informally trained to know that stress is a scary thing. The lawyer mental health crisis tells me I have to “manage” my stress. Family, friends, and doctors will tell me to “limit” my stress. And even in my training to become a meditation, yoga, and compassion teacher, I learned that stress can impede us physically and mentally.

But, then I came upon a book by Kelly McGonigal with a title that proclaims that stress is good for me. Her book The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It seemed to fly in the face of everything I thought I knew. The thing is, though, that I adore Kelly McGonigal’s work.

She explains scientific concepts in a simple and engaging way that shows she really understands them. She does this so well that, in turn, I feel like I really understand the concepts too. I thoroughly enjoyed The Willpower Instinct and The Joy of Movement and, despite it being only in audio form, learned a ton from her course on compassion.

So, even though the title made me skeptical, I decided to give The Upside of Stress a try. Guess what? It totally changed my mind. And when I say “changed” I don’t mean that it made me suddenly welcome and enjoy all the stress in my life. Instead, it refined my understanding of what stress meant and how it actually worked.

Most of us know the “fight/flight/freeze” reaction as the stress response, as if it was the only response to stress. In Upside, however, McGonigal explains that this is only one possible response to stress and it usually occurs in dire threat situations. This is when stress can harm us physically, impede our performance, and even lead to bad behavior and aggression.

On the other hand, humans can respond to stress in other ways, including the “tend and befriend” or “challenge” responses. In other words, we can learn to care for and forge connections to deal with stress or see a stressful situation as a challenge that can present opportunities. When we respond to stress in these ways, research shows that it can improve performance, cause us to behave more ethically and collaboratively, and create courage, motivation, and energy.

Now, of course, the skeptics out there are likely to wonder why we hear so many dire warnings about stress if it is good for us. McGonigal acknowledges that stress can be bad, even devastating for some of us, but she explains that the popular discourse of stress is often misleading.

One thing that is often left out of these discussions is that our reactions to and mindset about stress can determine how it affects us. That is why so much of The Upside of Stress is devoted to changing the audience’s mind about stress, because just acknowledging that stress can have an upside is the first step to healthy stress management.

When I read this part of the book, I was ever more surprised because I realized I already knew it or had at least experienced it. I had not officially accepted the idea that stress could be good for me, but I had learned through meditation to respond to stress differently.

Rather than ignore, evade, or fight stress, I had learned to regard it as a normal part of life, to accept it as human, and to treat it with care. In other words, meditation had helped me more frequently invoke a challenge or tend-and-befriend response to stress. As McGonigal argues, it didn’t make the stress go away but it made it easier to bear.

If, like most lawyers, you want some help managing stress, consider checking out The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal. If the only thing it does is change your mind about stress, that alone could be enough to change your life for the better.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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