My habits and routines have suffered a bit as the holidays approach. By Friday last week, I felt the prickly tingle on my skin that I have come to recognize as a physical sign of stress. I knew that I needed to prioritize rest over the weekend.
Fortunately, Saturday morning brought sunshine and higher temperatures. It was a lovely respite from the extreme cold and snow that had been common in recent weeks. You better believe that I took advantage of the situation by taking a long walk outside.
That’s why this post is about making small joys like these priorities in a busy life.
Small Joys Can Be Significant
I write a lot about dealing with negative thoughts, situations, and emotions on this blog. That’s not because I enjoy being negative. Instead, it’s because a huge piece of mindfulness practice is cultivating skill in the face of difficulty.
But if you focus your entire mindfulness practice on difficulty, it’s likely that you won’t want to practice very long. As I have written before, mindfulness practice can be enjoyable. In fact, it’s better when we enjoy practice because it helps us feel safe and relaxed. That’s when the mind and heart can open.
This is why I recommend orienting to joy and other positive emotions as much as possible. This is true in meditation practice, but it is even more important in life. Our brains are wired to be negative by nature, but we can train ourselves to reorient towards the joyful moments that happen every day.
We can learn to look for the ordinary and small joys that arise in life and notice how good they feel. If this seems too small, remember that life is a collection of moments. Our brains naturally notice and remember the dark moments. We can create balance and equanimity in life by intentionally noticing and savoring the small joys that arise too.
Small Joys Are Important for Lawyers
Now, busy lawyers are bound to object, saying that they don’t have time for things like this. One of the best things about prioritizing small joys is that it doesn’t have to take any extra time. In the example above, the walk outside did not cost me any extra time. I was already going to exercise. I just made the decision to increase my enjoyment by exercising outside in the sunshine.
These small shifts have big consequences for lawyers. Yes, we are often busy and our minds are often devoted to very important things. But this is an argument in favor of prioritizing small joys instead of against it.
If you are often busy and dealing with stressful things, as lawyers often are, doesn’t it make sense to have some small moments for lighter things? We lawyers often defer gratification for our own needs to support others. It is just common sense that, some of the time, we can please ourselves.
And for busy people like lawyers, it makes even more sense to start with small joys that arise in everyday life. We may not always have time for a vacation or the money to treat ourselves with a gift. In most cases, we can afford a few minutes for a small pastime or indulgence we really like.
How Lawyers Can Stop and Smell the Roses
If you are anything like me, you may be worrying that you don’t know how to recognize joy, let alone prioritize it. Many of us lawyers get out of the habit of checking in with our own needs and wants. This may happen for a variety of reasons, so if possible avoid judging yourself.
If this sounds like you, a simple way to make joy a priority in your life is to start to notice the things you really like. An easy way to do this is to slow down and pay extra attention to daily routines. What foods do you like the most? What counts as an ideal shower or bath for you? How exactly do you like your bedroom to be at night for sleep? What makes a conversation with someone else really good?
These are just a few examples, but the common theme for them is that they are focused on how you care for your body. As I have written before, emotions are often bodily experiences. So if we want to know what small things bring us joy, it helps to pay attention to our bodies and what helps us care for and soothe them.
How to Make the Most of Small Joys
Once you have started to identify and look for small joys, the next step of course is to prioritize them. In my view, lawyers can prioritize small joys by learning to savor. The word “savoring” is often used with regard to food and our sense of taste, but it can be broader.
In fact, positive psychologist, Rick Hanson, says that we can savor an experience by bringing full attention to it in our minds and bodies. Hanson’s process for savoring joys is one I now use frequently. It includes the following three steps:
- Notice and define the thing that is bringing you joy. Using the example from above, I really loved the walk outside because the sunshine was energizing. My body felt light and free being outside and I felt how warming and invigorating the sunshine was during my walk.
- Savor it and allow it to last 20 to 30 seconds. Again, using the example from above, every time on my walk I noticed something pleasant, such as the feeling of the sunshine, I let it be there. I kept my attention with it for as long as it remained.
- Allow the positive feelings to expand or permeate your body and soak them in. Continuing with the example from above, as I walked I let the relaxation and the new energy spread through my body as I walked. Perhaps I felt the sun on my face, but I let the warmth and energy spread all the way down to my toes during the walk.
Conclusion
Life for most lawyers is not all about joy. It also includes difficulty, stress, and conflict. This is why making the most of small joys is not trivial or frivolous for lawyers. Instead, it is an important practice that can support mental health and lead to a richer, more vibrant life.
Even if savoring small joys is not a current habit, this post offers some small practices to help you make it a regular part of life. Hopefully that means you will take advantage the next time you are presented with a chance to take a walk outside on a nice day.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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