As a mindfulness teacher and blogger, the connection between mindfulness practice and writing comes up for me a lot. Though I have always been drawn to writing and I do it every day in my work as a lawyer, I didn’t always consider myself a writer. It took many years for it to emerge as a real passion and part of my life.
How Meditation Led to Writing
If I never started meditating, there’s a good chance that I never would have discovered this meaningful pastime at all. As I have explained before, meditation helped me create the mental space that was necessary to recognize some of my copious thoughts as ideas. Over time, I also cultivated self-compassion and became more aware of latent judgments, so I could get ideas on the page.
Then, finally all the time sitting in meditation and the benefits it imparted convinced me of something fundamental: using some of my time to please myself was worthwhile. This helped me get over all the fears about writing being a “waste of time” or “too much work” or that “nobody would care.”
The Interview Discussing Mindfulness and Writing
I was fortunate to get a chance to discuss all of these things and more with fellow writer and coach, Shonda Ramsey. I met Shonda online when I saw her searching for self-published authors. Writing my first book was a great experience and one that has led to many other wonderful opportunities in my life.
I was glad to get to talk to Shonda about it and explain how mindfulness and creativity are interconnected. I was also pleased to discuss the fact that writing, a traditionally lonely endeavor, was something that led me to cultivate greater community. In fact, I was proud to share that I got help from a book coach to make the leap from blogger to author quickly.
How to Watch or Listen to the Interview
If you are interested in writing or wonder what mindfulness can do to help you get more creative in life, check out the full interview on the Dear Indie Author podcast. You can listen online, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify or watch the interview on YouTube here:
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Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
It’s Valentine’s Day this week, so it is only natural for my mind to be thinking about hearts. In this case, I am thinking about the heart practices or Brahma Viharas. I talk about loving-kindness practice here a lot because it is a wonderful practice for cultivating kindness and reducing judgment.
What are the Four Heart Practices?
In traditional Buddhism, though, loving-kindness is just 1 of the 4 heart practices that support good conduct and overall well-being. Each practice is unique but they all reinforce each other too. Lawyers or anyone who regularly deals with stress or conflict can gain a lot from working with them together.
Keep reading to learn more about the heart practices:
(1) loving-kindness;
(2) sympathetic joy;
(3) compassion; and
(4) equanimity.
1. Loving-Kindness
Loving-kindness or metta as it is traditionally called is done to generate friendliness and a good nature towards oneself and others. And when I say “others” here, I mean it as broadly as possible. As I have explained before, loving-kindness practice is done by bringing individuals and then groups to mind and sending them wishes of well-being.
Language here is flexible but the traditional phrases are:
May you be happy;
May you be healthy;
May you be safe;
May you be at peace.
Traditionally, this practice starts with oneself and expands outward to extend kindness to literally all beings.
There are many applications for this practice but the most common reason for doing the practice is to cultivate kindness for everyone, including you. With time, the practice serves as an antidote to judgment and anger, a foundation for greater mindfulness, and a gateway to the other heart practices.
Mudita is commonly practiced with the same structure as loving-kindness but the phrases may be slightly different. Common sympathetic joy meditation phrases include:
May you be happy;
May your happiness continue;
May you appreciate your joy; and
I am happy for you.
As I discussed when I shared the interview of Tom Bussen, author of Enlightened Self-Interest, this practice can reduce jealousy, greed, and the impacts of living in a hyper-competitive culture.
3. Compassion
Compassion, or “karuna” as it is called in Sanskrit, is another essential heart practice. Unlike loving-kindness and sympathetic joy, compassion is about cultivating kindness in the fact of difficulty. As I have explained before, compassion isn’t truly an emotion but is instead a response to suffering.
Compassion is also distinct from empathy. It goes beyond merely feeling someone’s suffering, though common feeling is often part of the experience. Instead, compassion arises when we are aware of suffering and wish or act to do something to alleviate it.
I find that compassion is often specific to circumstances so I offer a variety of phrases that might work to practice compassion in meditation:
May you be free of suffering
May you be safe and well in the midst of all this
May you live with ease and with kindness in the midst of this
May you be at ease with the changing conditions of my life
May you open to this pain with gentleness and compassion
May all who experience this particular suffering be held in kindness
May the suffering of this world be met with compassion
I care about you.
Your suffering matters to me
I see your suffering; it is hard.
It would likely become unwieldy to try to use all of these phrases, so it may be better to select 3 or 4 and work with those. Over time, you can change or substitute in phrasing to suit your needs. In addition, practicing compassion in sitting meditation is only the start. With time, this practice may support more compassionate conduct in life.
4. Equanimity
Equanimity, or “upekkha”, is a trait that can be and often is cultivated with ordinary mindfulness practices. Put simply, it is non-reactive stability in the face of change, difficulty, and uncertainty. Learning to sit and be with experience when you do a practice like breath focus or body scan can help you cultivate a foundation of equanimity that supports overall mindfulness and well-being.
Like compassion above, equanimity might be affected by context. Here are a selection of phrases that you could use to cultivate equanimity in meditation:
All beings are responsible for the suffering or happiness created by their own actions;
May you find peace exactly where you are;
No matter how I might wish things to be otherwise, things are as they are;
I care for you, but I cannot control your happiness and unhappiness;
May we all accept things as they are;
I wish you happiness but cannot make your choices for you; and
I can allow what is here and offer what is needed.
Conclusion
When done on their own, each of the individual practices has much to offer lawyers and other professionals. Over time, though, exploring all of the practices together can strengthen and stabilize the heart, body, and mind. Relationships are an essential part of living a good life and the four heart practices, loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, compassion, and equanimity, can support us as individuals in relation to other people. As you think about hearts this Valentine’s Day, think about the four heart practices too.
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Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
I am not a football fan but there is one team I am rooting for big time at the Super Bowl this year: team Kendrick and Sza. Yes, you got that right, I am going to watch the game for the halftime show. I did the same thing on Christmas Day with Beyonce and that did not disappoint.
As a kid who grew up in the 90’s, I have always listened to rap. My taste in music, though, tends to be eclectic so rap has never become my mainstay. Though I am late to the party on this one, I am a fan of Kendrick Lamar. I’m planning to see him on tour later this year and I am really excited to see what he does in the Super Bowl.
Kendrick is riding high after his musical battle with Drake, his stint atop the charts over the summer and his recent sweep at the Grammy awards for “Not Like Us.” He also has a new album, released in December: GNX. (paid link) I thought the album was insightful since it appeared to be a reflection and an effort to reset after the diss track battle with Drake.
Kendrick Lamar’s Latest Album Offers Lessons about Anger
I was lucky to get a chance to write about this for my blogger friends at the Tattooed Buddha. You can check out the full article here.
Expect Kendrick Lamar to Put on a Great Show
Since fun and connection is an important lesson from Kendrick Lamar’s latest album, I hope you enjoy it. Concerts and sports are great opportunities for relaxing and connecting with community. If you look a bit deeper, though, sometimes performers offer insights and lessons that do more than provide a soundtrack for a party. I’m watchin tomorrow in eager anticipation because Kendrick Lamar is one of those artists.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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As an anxious person, I have to be cautious about the amount of news I allow myself to consume. I try my best to focus on what matters most to my work and my community. When things are out of my control, I try my best to let go. Usually, this means I don’t allow myself much time for doomscrolling.
In the last few weeks, natural disasters, political tumult, and other challenges have caused my anxiety levels to rise. To some degree, this is normal. Change leads to uncertainty and uncertainty wants to be resolved. The siren song of the internet promising endless information and quick answers is hard to resist.
The thing is that doomscrolling usually leaves me feeling more confused and anxious and it is usually a huge waste of time. In case you are experiencing this now or ever struggle with it, here are five steps that may help you stop doomscrolling.
1. Recognize That You Are Doomscrolling.
The first step to ending doomscrolling may be the hardest to implement. Many lawyers and professionals often use the internet as a tool to address anxieties about our work. We may notice an issue, feel concerned, and take to the internet to gather legal authority or facts to solve the problem.
In my experience, doomscrolling starts much the same way. I come across something alarming and then I unconsciously start searching and clicking in the hopes of finding something to make me feel better. The problem, of course, is that the internet offers ready access to information but meaning can be harder to find. This means that the searching could go on endlessly and it is likely, and often does, raise more anxieties that will need to addressed.
So what are the signs of doomscrolling? It can vary for each of us but the salient features I have come to recognize are: sprawling or directionless searching, an investment of time with no meaningful return, and fear or anxiety.
2. Pause and Bring Awareness to What You Are Doing.
When you start to sense that you are doomscrolling, it can be hard to stop. In the midst of relentless searching, your mind may become scattered, race towards the future, and overwhelm itself with information. To disrupt the cycle, though, you can pause and return your awareness to the present moment.
One way to do this is to literally remove your hand from the mouse or put your phone face down or ideally out of reach. Close your eyes, take a breath, and notice how your body feels. Ask yourself whether the scrolling is helping or hurting. One question I often ask myself when I find myself mindlessly scrolling or clicking around is “what am I looking for?” If I can’t answer the question, it’s a great sign that it’s time move on to something else.
3. Identify and Acknowledge the Emotion Hiding Beneath the Scrolling.
If you are sure that you are doomscrolling but are struggling to stop, you may need to get up and away from your device and proceed right on to step 5. Assuming the temptation to keep scrolling is in check, however, I find it helpful to acknowledge what caused the doomscrolling in the first place.
As noted above, when doomscrolling is happening fear or anxiety is often involved. Even when I have a good sense of the emotion, though, I find it helpful to get more specific. For example, I may note or say to myself the specific fear or concern that started my scrolling. This helps me to honor my emotions and get some distance from them.
4. Take Care of that Emotion.
If at all possible, it helps to take one moment more to do something to care for the emotions that started the doomscrolling. Where possible, avoid judging yourself for doomscrolling or being afraid. The world is complex, information is all around, and life changes fast. Given how much information is available to us all, it’s easy to get sucked into an information anxiety loop.
Recalling this fact alone may help you see the common humanity in your situation and that of other people. This is an essential element of self-compassion that can help you care for the fear that may be lurking beneath the doomscrolling. I also find it to be empowering too. Even though I may be unable to solve all (or any) of the world problems my doomscrolling revealed, I find that I am at least able to take care for myself when I am afraid.
5. Do Something Useful, Pleasant, or Kind.
It is not possible to tell your mind to not think of whatever caused the anxiety and prompted the doomscrolling. The mind does not work that way. What you can do with the mind, however, is shift attention to something else. In this way, you can care for your mind and your your emotions after doomscrolling by doing something else that engages your attention.
Since doomscrolling is emotionally challenging, generally negative, and often useless, the best antidote to it is to do the opposite. Find an an activity that is useful, pleasant, kind, or ideally all three of those things. Experience has taught me that movement, creativity, getting outside and away from technology, and real human contact are the most effective answers to doomscrolling. They remind me of my present moment reality, the people and things I care about most, and my power to do good even in an imperfect and confusing world.
Conclusion
Doomscrolling happens to the best of us but it can easily make a bad situation worse. Knowing how to recognize and stop doomscrolling is an essential skill for contemporary life and challenging times. With mindful awareness and self-compassion, you can stop doom scrolling, care for the fear that started it, and put your time and energy to better use.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
Though I have had a few experiences as a lawyer on the side of the plaintiff, most of my legal career has been on the defense. Lawyers of all kinds may share certain stresses, regardless of practice area. But the demands of working as a lawyer for injured people seeking compensation can be uniquely intense. In this interview, Kathryn (“Kate”) Conway, Partner at Power Rogers and an experiencedmedical malpractice attorney in Chicago shares her personal experiences and insights on how mindfulness and compassion have helped her navigate the emotional complexities of high-stakes cases.
Question: Can you share a little about the emotional challenges lawyers face, particularly in cases like personal injury or medical malpractice?
Kate: Absolutely. Advocacy, especially in emotionally charged cases, can be incredibly demanding. I often work with families who’ve experienced catastrophic injuries or loss due to medical errors. Their pain and grief are palpable, and as lawyers, we feel a deep responsibility to do right by them. Early in my career, I struggled with drawing the line between caring deeply for my clients and maintaining the clarity needed to handle their cases effectively. Over time, I realized that mindfulness could help me strike that balance.
Question: How has mindfulness played a role in your work as a lawyer?
Kate: Mindfulness has been transformative. It allows me to stay present for my clients while ensuring I don’t become emotionally overwhelmed. For instance, I once handled a particularly tough case where a young family lost a loved one due to a preventable medical error. Their grief was overwhelming, and it was challenging to compartmentalize my emotions during trial preparation. I turned to mindfulness techniques, like grounding exercises and pausing to breathe, which helped me stay emotionally available for them while making sound, strategic decisions.
Question: What are some mindfulness techniques that have worked well for you?
Kate: There are three techniques I use regularly:
The Power of the Pause Taking a brief pause during emotionally charged moments can make a big difference. Whether it’s a few seconds of deep breathing or simply stepping back to reflect, pausing helps me respond intentionally instead of reacting impulsively. For example, during contentious negotiations, I’ll take a moment to collect myself before responding. This helps me stay calm and focus on achieving the best outcome for my clients.
Setting Boundaries It’s essential to set emotional boundaries. As lawyers, we care deeply about our clients, but their struggles aren’t ours to carry. After a particularly heavy client meeting, I’ll go for a walk or spend a few minutes journaling. This helps me process what I’ve absorbed and reaffirm my role as their advocate, not their emotional caretaker.
Compassion Without Attachment Active listening is key. I strive to be fully present when clients express their emotions, validating their feelings without becoming entangled in them. Afterward, I often reset with a short breathing exercise or a guided meditation.
Question: Do you have any resources you’d recommend for lawyers or professionals exploring mindfulness
Kate: Absolutely! Two books I found particularly helpful are The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thích Nhất Hanh and Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. For more accessible content, I recommend the Headspace YouTube channel and The Mindful Lawyer podcast. These resources offer practical ways to incorporate mindfulness into daily life.
Question: How do you see mindfulness benefiting lawyers in their professional lives?
Kate:Mindfulness benefits both lawyers and their clients. For us, it helps reduce burnout and improves decision-making by keeping our minds clear and focused. For clients, it fosters trust and empathy in the lawyer-client relationship. At my law firm, where we handle high-stakes medical malpractice cases, maintaining clarity and emotional regulation is crucial. It allows us to advocate effectively without being overwhelmed by the stress of the case.
Question: What advice would you give to lawyers looking to integrate mindfulness into their practice?
Kate:Start small. Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean meditating for hours. It could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths before walking into court or setting aside time to reflect at the end of the day. Over time, these small practices can make a big difference.
Conclusion: A Sustainable Path Forwa
Advocacy in high-stakes legal cases is demanding, but mindfulness provides a sustainable path forward. Kate’s insights show how lawyers can balance compassion with professional detachment, ensuring their advocacy is guided by strategy and care—not stress or overwhelm. Whether you’re a lawyer or navigating the challenges of life, mindfulness is a powerful tool for staying grounded and effective.
Bio: Kathryn (“Kate”) Conway, Partner at Power Rogers, is a seasoned trial lawyer specializing in personal injury and wrongful death cases. Beyond her legal achievements, Kate advocates for compassion in law through her work with nonprofits like Sarah’s Inn and Chicago Jesuit Academy. As a mentor and past President of the Women’s Bar Association of Illinois, she promotes mindfulness and empathy in legal advocacy, drawing on her experience supporting clients through emotionally challenging cases.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
One of the most common questions I get as a meditation teacher is also my favorite question to ask other meditators. That question is “what does your meditation practice look like?” As a teacher, I know people are asking for guidance about what their practice should or could be.
When I am asking the question, though, I am not asking it to test the other person. Instead, I am asking it because someone’s daily practice can tell you a lot. I love seeing the variety of ways that people find to make meditation their own, so I enjoy hearing people talk about it.
Though certain lineages may have preferred meditation practices, there aren’t universally applicable rules that apply to all of us. In addition, even very experienced meditators may have to rethink or revamp their practice regimen from time to time. Here are some things to consider when crafting or reshaping your meditation practice.
1. Identify the Intention Behind Your Meditation Practice.
One of the reasons that I cannot offer a generally applicable “ideal” meditation practice is that I think meditation works best when it supports personal intentions. By this, I don’t mean that meditation must or should be a solely individualistic endeavor. I have said many times before that community is essential to meditation and that, ideally, meditation will help us engage more fully in our communities.
Even so, meditation is a long-term practice. If you are going to make the habit stick, it helps if it supports your life, values, and goals. As a result, an important first step in crafting a meditation practice is to consider your intention for meditating.
Do you want the health benefits? Do you want a time to rest? Do you want to learn better ways of managing stress? Do you want a time to check in with yourself? Do you want to relax so you can get better sleep? Whatever it is, identifying the purpose driving you can help you tailor a meditation practice.
2. Consider the Meditation Technique that Supports Your Intention.
Identifying your intention for practice is important because there are so many options for practice technique. Meditation practices come from a variety of spiritual lineages, secular disciplines, and include a seemingly endless number of techniques.
If your practice lasts long enough, crafting your meditation routine may include exploration of everything from breath focus, to body scan, mantra, loving-kindness, and beyond. Exploration is a great thing, but ideally your daily practice will become relatively simple, stable, and consistent.
Your specific purpose in meditating will help you decide which practice best supports your life. This may take some trial and error and experimentation. Pay attention to how you feel in practice and any changes that you may be experiencing in life. This can tell you if the practice is supporting your intention or not.
3. Decide the Frequency, Duration, and Setting for Your Meditation Sessions.
Once you have selected a practice, then you must decide how long, how often, and where to practice. Many people ask me for a minimum time they must practice to get benefits. Though I recommend starting small for those new to practice, ideally the duration of your sessions will grow over time. So, the real question is what amount of time will you, as a practical matter, meditate consistently?
That is because consistency is what transforms meditation from a pastime to a practice. As a practicing lawyer myself and a busy mom, I don’t claim to meditate every day without fail. But I meditate most days and strive for 30 minutes of daily practice. That period of time is sustainable for me long-term and it allows me to rest, connect with myself, and cultivate focus and stability.
Still feel lost with all of the details regarding meditation practice? That’s normal. It could be a sign that you need some more exploration time to feel at ease in your practice. It could also be reason to consider getting more support for your practice.
Over the millennia, meditation has been taught in groups and with teachers. Technology has allowed us to learn the practice without these supports and I got my practice started without them. Whether you use guided meditations or prefer an unguided practice, starting with the help of an app (or this blog!) may be great for those of us who want to explore meditation before we commit.
For more in-depth understanding of the practices and the many shapes that meditation can take, you can always explore working with a meditation teacher, taking a course, or finding a community. Even if you meditate alone most of the time, getting help and support may instill confidence that you have a practice that supports your life.
Conclusion
There are many effective ways that you can structure a daily or regular meditation practice. If you practice meditation for long enough, you are bound to find that your practice will shift and change with time. Whether you are new to meditation or are experienced and looking for a change, this post is offered to help you evaluate your daily practice to ensure it continues to benefit your life.
If you want some immediate help for your practice, check out the Resources page and our guided meditations. In particular, these downloads may be helpful in shaping a practice that works for you:
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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In case you didn’t notice, I took the last month off from the blog. This was actually a good thing. I had a great 2024 filled with many wonderful things, including finding my place at a new law firm, editing a legal treatise for LexisNexis, and many new opportunities. The only downside was that I was exhausted by December and, as a result, many of my normal habits fell away.
This means that I have been thinking a lot about motivation lately because I need to get back to my normal habits. As most of us know, January is the perfect time to refresh habits because it is the season of goal-setting and resolutions. I have already picked my word of the year for 2025, so now I just need the energy to execute my plan. This raises the question: how does one bring motivation back?
Motivation Starts with Intention
If I had to answer this question with one word, it would be “intention.” I used to think talk of intention was new age puffery. It made me roll my eyes and wonder what the heck it even meant. “Why did I need to think about intention?” I would think to myself. “I usually know what I am doing.”
Experience, and of course lots of meditation, has shown me that in many cases we do not know at all what we are doing. Sure, we know in the sense that we are generally aware of what is happening and have a vague idea about what we want. But, how often do you actually think about the direction of your life and where it is leading you? How often do you ask what your deep intentions are?
Mindfulness Can Help You Connect with Your Intention
More often, we are embroiled in habits and busy people, like lawyers, can get so distracted by life that we don’t think about how we want to live. For this practical reason, when we want to establish new habits or need to get back to old ones, it helps to reflect on our intention and ask what we want or are trying to achieve.
This is one of the reasons that meditation has become such an important part of my life. Not only does the practice give my nervous system a break, it also allows me some time and mental space to check in with myself, including what I need and what I really want. In fact, it is so important that I have made checking in with my intention the first step when I start meditating.
Motivation Requires a Connection Between Effort and Results
Identifying our intention may be enough to get us started with initial steps, but it won’t last for long by itself. It is commonly said that habits take weeks to form, so a burst of initial energy from a reflection on intention will only get you so far. The next essential step, I find, is often overlooked: we need to create a connection between our effort and the results we week.
In my experience, this connection requires two things:
a belief that our effort will lead to some kind of positive result; and
a plan to turn our belief into a reality.
In some cases, belief comes first but sometimes we may need to chart a course to inspire confidence. Last year, I succeeded in losing some weight in a few months. Of course, I had thought about starting for months before but put it off until I started imagining my plan of attack. Once I had a plan, I realized the feat was achievable and it gave me the energy to try.
Sustained Motivation Requires a Good System
Now, anyone who has tried to start a new habit or get back to your wholesome ones knows that energy fades. As you are creating your plan of attack, therefore, it only makes sense to factor in a system that will sustain your motivation.
To do this, you can’t rely on discipline and willpower alone because both of these things wear out quickly and may be heavily taxed by your existing lifestyle and work. If you are a lawyer or other busy professional, your schedule may not be your own. If you are a caregiver in addition to that, many people may depend on you too. This means, at some point, you are going to require support to stick to your good habits.
What Kind of System Supports Motivation?
So, what kind of system supports sustained motivation? For a deep dive on this issue, I highly recommend that you check out Atomic Habits by James Clear. He has a lot of practical tips for changing habits and making the change stick.
In general, though, what you want to do is create a system that offers you support on a practical level. It should reduce the friction and effort needed to overcome it in getting the relevant task accomplished. Ideally, if at all possible, your plan should support your intrinsic desire to do the task. That means increasing your personal enjoyment and satisfaction with the task.
An important way to do this is to track and check your progress and to regularly check in with your intention to remind yourself why you are investing the effort.
Self-Compassion Is Essential
Ideally, when you get back to your new habit, it will be smooth sailing with no major challenges. For most of us, though, challenges and struggles are bound to arise eventually. This is why self-compassion is one tool that is essential to sustaining or renewing motivation.
As I have written before, self-compassion is positively correlated with goal attainment because it supports persistence. When a challenge arises, it is self-compassion that helps us focus on what we need instead of how we failed to measure up. When our energy is depleted, self-compassion is what may help us take the time to rest so we can recover and get back on track.
Just like any other habit, self-compassion is a skill that can be trained over time and it is one that can support you in cultivating other positive habits. For this reason, as you set your intentions and craft plans to motivate yourself for the new year, be sure to include compassion for yourself.
Conclusion: Motivation Can Be Cultivated and Mindfulness Can Help.
This is a great time of year for refreshing habits but don’t fall into the trap of believing that motivation is an elusive energy that changes like the wind. Though motivation can be this way, it can also be something we cultivate with mindfulness and self-compassion. If we connect to our intention and craft a plan that supports our effort, we can cultivate motivation and sustain it over time.
If motivation to start or get back to meditation is what you are looking for this year, check out the downloads on our Resources page, including the Meditation Habit Worksheet based on the principles of Atomic Habits.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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A chair is perfectly sufficient to meditate, but if you do it regularly it can help to have a defined space for the practice. In addition, once you are able to sit for longer than 15 minutes, a cushion can help you maintain a good posture. You can find any number of meditation cushions or benches online, including on Amazon. I recommend a buckwheat fill for your cushion because it offers support and you can refill the cushion with more hulls over time.
There are so many good books on mindfulness and meditation practice out there that you really can’t go wrong. Any of the books I have reviewed on this blog would make a fine gift.
If you want an easy and accessible introduction to meditation written with lawyers in mind, check out my book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer.
A few other books I have mentioned but not fully reviewed include the following:
You may be able to find courses and retreats at your local yoga studio, dharma or zen center, or other public facilities. If you can’t, Sounds True has a number of self-paced audio or video courses available from the best teachers in the world. They also regularly have sales that make these courses really affordable. For those new to the practice, we recommend Tara Brach’s and Jack Kornfield’s Power of Awareness.
5. Blanket
It’s not unusual to get cold during meditation practice since you are sitting still for extended periods of time. In addition, a blanket can add a sense of comfort and even protection to help you calm during your practice. I recommend a blanket that is soft and comforting, but also light so that it doesn’t make you too hot as you sit.
6. Candle or Diffuser
The jar candle seems to be the ubiquitous holiday regift. But, on the bright side, nice smells can support a meditation practice. In the same way, an essential oil diffuser can do the same thing. If you are intending it to be used during meditation practice, pick something with a scent that is soothing so it doesn’t overpower or distract you while you sit.
7. Gift Card to Yoga Studio
Sitting isn’t the only way to learn mindfulness. You can also learn it from yoga and many yoga studios offer practices or courses on meditation. Many yoga studios offer holiday promotions for gift cards or class passes. In this way, you can support a local business while offering a friend a chance to establish or refresh their mindfulness or yoga practice.
Extra devices aren’t really necessary for a meditation practice, but some items can support it or solve a particular problem. A nice set of wireless earbuds can make your meditation practice mobile or help reduce distractions while you sit. If you are really into gadgets and have a larger budget, you could look into the Muse. By the time I tried the device, my practice was already established so I have not really used it much but it could be helpful to someone new to meditation. I also recently discovered Zenimals which offer a screen-free way of providing guided meditations to kids.
10. Time
The biggest impediment to a meditation practice is the lack of time. So, if you want to give the gift of mindfulness, you may not have to spend any money. You could offer to babysit, take care of pets, or water plants for a friend who wants to go on a retreat or take a meditation course.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days. This holiday is one that is pretty easy for me to love because cooking and eating are two of my favorite things. You get to do both on Thanksgiving and you only have to spend one day with your extended family. Seems perfect, right?
Oh yeah, I forgot about gratitude. In some form or fashion, you may be asked to reflect on or proclaim your gratitude. I don’t doubt the myriad studies that say gratitude is good for us. I appreciate the need to express and receive gratitude. But, as a lifelong pigheaded person, I refuse to feel something on demand.
Forcing Gratitude Doesn’t Work
Honestly, it’s not even truly refusal. I could decide to go along with the little game of gratitude to amuse my family or shut them up. But I would know in my secret heart of hearts that I don’t really feel grateful. What I really feel is resentful.
But can I cultivate gratitude otherwise? Despite my mental and emotional blocks against fakery, I have discovered a hack. I have written many times about my fondness for loving-kindness practice. One of the reasons I love this practice so much is that it serves as a gratitude practice for me.
This is why I am sharing a gratitude meditation that is really a modified loving-kindness practice. It follows the same traditional pattern, but instead of wishing the phrases of peace and well-being it includes an offering of gratitude. I did this one for a Mindfulness in Law Society Virtual Sit and remembered how much I liked it.
To try out the practice, find it here or on our YouTube channel or on Insight Timer. Please have a wonderful holiday weekend. I am honestly and sincerely grateful to have you as a reader and meditation friend.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Though I am a mindfulness teacher, I am still a lawyer so that means I love competition. I like to win. I want to be number one in all things. And after a decade of meditation my ego is still going strong.
The drive to compete and win is necessary for most lawyers. I am not here to tell you it’s entirely bad. I’m sharing this post, though, because competition and naked self-interest have some down sides.
The book, Enlightened Self-Interest, analyzes something that most lawyers know all too well: competitive individualism. Most of us who live in the western world, especially the United States, probably don’t need more explanation on this. In case you do, though, this is referring to the societal and professional emphasis on attaining money, power, and fame.
Despite common assumptions that these things lead to health, happiness, and safety, the book explains that they often do the opposite. They foster worldwide inequality, rampant loneliness, incentivize unethical conduct, and often contribute to mental health challenges.
Enlightened self-interest, then, is the recognition that the cultural messages many of us get about what we are supposed to want and pursue in life may not truly be in our self-interest. This recognition then opens up possibilities for cultivating a more balanced, sustainable, and collaborative practices that support individual and collective well-being.
Why Do Lawyers Need Enlightened Self-Interest?
Enlightened self-interest matters for lawyers and others in the business world for some obvious reasons. Law practice itself is highly competitive and confrontational. Not only are lawyers often competing with other lawyers in representing clients, they also may face business competition in their own firms and externally.
What are the most common incentives for a job well done in this system? You got it: money, power, and reputation enhancement. In this way, whether intended or not, law practice sets many lawyers up in a system where success and happiness may be at odds. As a result, it behooves lawyers, especially law firm leaders, to incorporate approaches that mitigate the impact of individualistic competition.
What Can Enlightened Self-Interest Do for Lawyers and Professionals?
What I liked most about the book, Enlightened Self-Interest, is that it was balanced. It didn’t claim that competition was entirely bad. It didn’t argue that the hyper-individualistic Western world should wholesale adopt the collectivism more prevalent in Asia. Instead, it acknowledged that there are pros and cons with every social system, including collectivism, and agreed that competition has its place in a healthy life and culture.
I’ve told you why the focus of the book is relevant to lawyers, but you may also be interested to know that the author of the book, Tom Bussen, was a lawyer. Bussen is now an academic and organizational psychologist who has taught and trained companies and businesses around the world about ways to create healthier workplaces.
As Tom shares in the book, though, he used to practice law and left in part because the competitive and individualistic environment was not for him. I got a chance to interview Tom for the FDCC FedSpeaks Podcast and he graciously shared the challenges he experienced with law practice. Because Bussen’s first-hand knowledge of many of the challenges that lawyers, professionals, and their firms ensure that he remains practical in his focus and recommendations.
Why Should I Read the Book?
Enlightened Self-Interest is a needed examination of the role of individualist competition in our society and the impact it has on the lives of most lawyers and professionals. It offers balanced analysis of research, case studies and true stories, and practical strategies to help lawyers and professionals craft happier and more fulfilling lives. If you want to learn how you can remain competitive as a lawyer without sacrificing your own well-being, Enlightened Self-Interest is one to read.
Where Can I Buy the Book?
You can find Enlightened Self-Interest on most online booksellers, including Amazon (paid link). However, for those of you who wish to support smaller booksellers, Bussen was gracious enough to provide a 30% code (“TGUF”) to purchase the book from Georgetown University Press.
The link to the book mentioned in this review is an affiliate link. The review is unsponsored and sincere but the link to Amazon is paid.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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