Finding Balance: Lessons from Philosophy, Structure, and Resistance

If balance isn’t what you escape to, but what you build from, then the next question is obvious:
How do you build it?

Not just in theory.

In a world that runs on overstimulation, scarcity mindset, and status games:

How do you actually live differently?

The answer isn’t in hacks or habits. It’s in philosophy.

The kind that orients you when ambition is loud and clarity is quiet. The kind that helps you walk away from things that reward you for abandoning yourself.

Balance isn’t just about rest. It’s about rhythm, resistance, and re-centering, again and again.

1. Rhythm: You Are What You Repeatedly Do

Aristotle said it best: “Excellence is not an act, but a habit.”

What he really meant is: the shape of your life is formed by what you do consistently, not what you feel inspired to do once in a while.

That includes your inputs: what you read, consume, scroll, and rehearse in your mind.

It includes your defaults: what you say yes to without thinking, what you say no to because you “should.”

It includes your silence: what fills your attention when no one is asking for it.

If you want balance, you need rhythm.

And rhythm means making space on purpose, before the world fills it for you.

Ask yourself:

What are you building repetition around? Clarity, or chaos?
What time of day belongs to you, without negotiation?
What anchors you when you’re off-center, and do you actually return to those anchors regularly?

2. Resistance: You’re Allowed to Not Want the Same Things

Stoicism is often misunderstood as suppression.

But Epictetus wasn’t telling people to be numb.

He was teaching them to guard their energy, to distinguish between what’s in their control and what’s not. Because the more noise you react to, the less signal you can hear.

In today’s context, that’s a revolutionary act.

Because the system doesn’t just reward overwork; it shames you for wanting less.

It pathologizes rest. It glamorizes imbalance.

It makes ambition feel like obligation, and burnout feel like progress.

Balance, then, becomes a form of resistance.

It’s how you reclaim your time, your nervous system, and your identity from a culture that treats your worth as performance.

Ask yourself:

Where have you internalized urgency that isn’t even yours?
What values are actually yours, and which ones were just inherited from the environment?
Are you okay with being seen as “less ambitious” if it means being more intact?

3. Re-centering: You Need a Philosophy, Not Just a Schedule

Viktor Frankl wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’”

He was writing about survival under the worst conditions imaginable, but the lesson holds in everyday life: if you don’t choose what your life is for, something else will choose for you.

The point of balance isn’t to feel relaxed.

The point is to remain aligned, so that your output reflects your values—not just your fear or momentum.

That means checking in regularly. It means zooming out from metrics.

It means seeing your calendar as a moral document, not just a logistical one.

Re-centering isn’t an emergency button. It’s a regular practice.

Ask yourself:

What does success feel like in my body, not just in my inbox?
What would my week look like if it reflected my actual priorities?
What am I tracking, and is it helping or distracting me?

Design the Balance Before the System Designs You

You need a structure that protects your time before law school starts—not after. You need to know what hours are yours. What thoughts are yours. What parts of your identity aren’t up for negotiation.

You need:

Mornings that belong to you, not your inbox.
A body that isn’t treated like a taxi for your brain.
Relationships that don’t just tolerate your goals—but remind you who you were before them.

If you don’t set that rhythm early, the default will become your design. And once you’ve built your ego on that design, it’s much harder to undo.

Bonus: You Don’t Have to Be Chill to Be Balanced

There’s a trap that shows up, especially for high-performers.
We think if we’re anxious, tense, or reactive, we must be “off-balance.”

But balance doesn’t mean calm.
It means not losing the thread.

Tricia Hersey, in Rest is Resistance, reminds us: the system was not built for your healing.

So of course rest feels unnatural.
Of course silence feels boring.
Of course boundaries feel selfish.

That’s not a personal failure. That’s conditioning.

Balance isn’t a vibe. It’s a discipline.

One that protects your clarity, even when you don’t feel clear.
One that steadies you, even when you’re overwhelmed.

Balance isn’t just the absence of stress.

It’s the presence of structure, space, and sovereignty.

You build it by remembering, daily, that your life is not an accident.

It’s a design.

And it’s still yours to shape.

Author bio: Moshe Indig is the founder of Sharper Statements, a premier law school admissions consulting firm known for its depth, strategy, and results. A former litigator, Moshe helps aspiring lawyers craft powerful
narratives that reflect both who they are and where they’re headed—without sacrificing voice, clarity, or balance. Drawing from years of experience inside and outside the legal system, he teaches applicants to
center precision and authenticity in every part of the process. Read more at sharperstatements.com.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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How Law Firms Can Support Attorney Well-Being

Though I often teach strategies that individual lawyers can take to manage stress, I always balance this with the reminder that law firms have a big impact on attorney well-being. When I joined my law firm, Bricker Graydon, a few years ago I saw this first hand. While I had generally positive experiences at prior firms, the firm’s commitment to well-being was deeper and more explicit.

Many staff members at the firm help make this happen, but one I want to mention today is Mina Jones Jefferson. She’s the Chief Culture and Engagement Officer at my firm. I’ve worked and presented with Mina on topics relating to stress management and attorney well-being. She’s so knowledgeable on these subjects that I asked her to join me on the FDCC FedSpeaks podcast to discuss steps law firms can take to support attorney well-being.

Keep reading to learn more about the insights from the interview, where to listen, and how to learn more about this subject.

Attorney Well-Being Should Be a Law Firm Priority

One of the things that Mina shared first in the interview is why law firms should make the well-being of lawyers and all staff a priority. In the interview, Mina explained that supporting attorney and staff well-being was not just the right or feel-good thing to do.

Instead, she explained how mental health directly contributes to law firm business goals. Mina shared studies showing that how employees feel about their work contribute to the quality of their work. It can also correlate to absenteeism, which translates to lost work time and billable hours. Or, in the alternative, presenteeism where employees don’t miss work but their performance suffers.

In general, Mina explained, happy lawyers and staff members are more productive and do better work for clients.

How Law Firms Can Monitor Attorney Well-Being

The idea of mental health can sometimes seem hard to define, but Mina didn’t skip a beat when I asked her about this. First, Mina explained that there are many signs that firms can monitor to gauge the well-being of their employees. As noted above, these include sick days uses, absences, and productive work hours.

To get more information, though, Mina suggested that firms should consider asking their employees regularly how they feel about work. She shared about the value of employee engagement surveys to gather information from attorneys and staff members directly. This can help law firms identify practical steps that may need to be taken to make the work life of their employees better or more satisfying.

Image of podcast guest, Mina Jones Jefferson, with quote from the interview shared in the blog post which says "Attorneys with the lowest risk of attrition are in law firms where they feel valued for their skill, talent, professionalism, or inherent worth as a human being. This shows that the value system of an employer can affect employee mental health."

Simple Steps Law Firms Can Take

Armed with this qualify information, Mina explained that law firms can make good decisions to support employees better. This can include reviewing internal policies, benefits plans, wellness offerings, and employee assistance programs.

It can also include leadership strategies that keep mental health a top priority in the law firm’s culture. These can include things like “leaving out loud”, where firm leaders don’t hide the fact that they prioritize things outside of work. It can also include simple strategies, such as honoring business hours for email and text communications.

As Mina also shared, however, it should also include a review of broader firms policies and procedures and leadership. In some ways, Mina explained that attorney and staff well-being is a function of a well-run organization.

Where and How to Learn More

This blog post was just a summary of the insights that Mina offered in the interview, but I strongly encourage you to listen to the full episode to hear it straight from her. If you want to listen to the full interview, you can find it on Apple Podcasts here. You can learn more about Mina Jones Jefferson and her work at Bricker Graydon on LinkedIn.

For more great interviews relating to lawyer well-being, check out the following episodes of FDCC Speaks:

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Book Review: The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal

This was not always true, but I am now one of those people who cannot stand to go a day without exercise. A few years ago, I would have found this comment annoying. Over the course of time, though, I found a way to prioritize movement each day. Now, I don’t just enjoy exercise. I need it to feel physically good and to support my mental health.

The Joy of Movement Is Not Just Another Fitness Book

If you think this sounds like an artless humble brag, then you might want to read The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal (paid link). This book explains why movement is so essential to our well-being. It’s not a self-help book that tries to identify the “best” way to get fit or maximize calories burned.

Instead, The Joy of Movement is truly about the joy that moving can inspire in us as humans. The short book is composed of 7 chapters that each explain a different concept relating to movement. Most of the book discusses various exercise modalities, but other activities are covered as well.

About the Author, Kelly McGonigal

As I have written before, Kelly McGonigal is one of my favorite wellness authors. She’s a psychologist at Stanford and the author of other great books, including The Science of Compassion, and The Upside of Stress. As she explains in The Joy of Movement, McGonigal is also a fitness fanatic. She wrote the book in part to explain where her love of exercise originated.

This quest inexorably leads to a scientific analysis of the impact of movement on the body. McGonigal provides scholarly analysis on that subject in The Joy of Movement. But she also goes one step further. The book doesn’t just talk about cardiovascular and bodily benefits that arise from movement. It explains how movement offers us mental health, emotional, social, and even spiritual benefits.

The Joy of Movement Is Not Just a Science Book Either

In truth, though, McGonigal does not merely explain these benefits at all. Rather, she illustrates them with well-told stories. This is one of the reasons why I like McGonigal’s work so much. Her books do not merely cite studies or discuss concepts. She demonstrates the truth of the studies with stories.

For example, in The Joy of Movement, McGonigal explains the connection between the mythic “runner’s high” and our evolution from a hunter gatherer society. She examines popular fitness programs, including Orange Theory, Soul Cycle, and Peloton to explain how movement encourages social connection. And she shares stories of how real life people use exercise to build self-confidence, move past grief, or become more engaged in their communities.

A Health Book That Inspires Enthusiasm Rather Than Guilt or Shame

Most of us understand that exercise is good for us. Unfortunately, though, that message often inspires guilt, apathy, or even shame because it often comes with hidden pressure. Many discussions of exercise are linked, whether intentionally or not, to diet and fitness.

Those are certainly important, but I have learned that joy is a much better motivator than a “should.” In The Joy of Movement, McGonigal does not nag or scold. She does not emphasize health in the strict sense or longevity. And she does not waste time arguing about what form of movement is best for burning fat or calories or building muscle.

Image with a quote from the book review of The Joy of Movement as shared in the final paragraph of the blog post

How Movement and Joy Are Connected

Instead, as the title suggests, McGonigal’s goal is to help us see how movement cultivates joy in individuals and supports communities. If you read The Joy of Movement, you might think that you should start exercising again but only because it will remind you how awesome it feels.

In truth, The Joy of Movement is a book that feels good to read. It shares essential information about the human body and mind from an author with sufficient training to explain the concepts well. The book also shares stories that exemplify how good, generous, resilient, and kind the human race can be when it at its best.

The Joy of Movement Is a Great Read

If you read the book, though, it will be hard to forget that movement in its many forms is an important part of being at our best as humans. Whether you are a fitness fanatic or a reluctant runner, rower, or whatever, The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal is a great read. It may motivate you to start or keep exercising or help you understand why you never want to stop. Even more importantly, it will help you explore how to live a joyful life.

Founder’s Note: The link to the book mentioned in this review is an affiliate link. The review is unsponsored and sincere but the link to Amazon is paid.

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What Is Body Scan Meditation and Why Should Lawyers Try It?

When people think of meditation, they typically think of the breath as the focal point. But in truth, meditation can use almost any focal point and the focal point doesn’t necessarily have to be a singular, stagnant object. One of the most beneficial practices that I incorporate in my routine is the body scan.

What Is Body Scan Meditation?

With this practice, the focus is on the sensations in the whole body, rather than exclusively focusing on the breath. Traditionally, this practice flows systemically through the body, flowing from one part or region of the body into the next.

Most commonly, body scan meditations start at the crown of the head and proceed down to other parts of the body until you reach the feet and toes. This is sometimes called a “top down” style of body scan.

There are a few reasons why teachers may commonly start the practice at the top of the head. It can be a trauma-informed risk mitigation strategy for those very new to practice, since trauma often affects the body. The theory here is that gradualism to cultivating body awareness is supportive to many students.

Similarly, starting at the top of the head may be a way to meet students where they are. This is because many of us new to mindfulness are accustomed to living life in our thoughts and brains.

Various Ways to Do a Body Scan.

There are, of course, many potential methods and starting points for body scans. For instance, you could start with the toes and work up or do a body scan that focuses on the chakras or plexuses along the spine.

Another way to start is by making a connection with your five senses and then branching out from there. Still other styles of practice, like yoga nidra, skip awareness from one body part to another rapidly. This can feel disorienting at first, but over time it may cause the mind to still and the body to relax.

Some body scan practices may also make use of progressive muscle relaxation, where one tenses the muscles and releases them. This is not required but can be a nice way to hasten relaxation or support the detection of body sensations if that is a challenge for you.

Regardless of the particular method you try, the object of a body scan meditation is to feel the sensations in the body and notice what you feel, rather than to think about the body.

Image of woman meditating with quote that says "body scan meditations typically start at the crown of the head and proceed down to other parts of the body"

Advantages of Body Scan Meditation.

Body scan meditation often feels more manageable to new meditators because the practice is more active than breath practice. Because the focus of body scan is to flow or cycle through sensations in the body, the mind has to work a bit more to stay focused on the sensations in the body. For this reason, it may not seem as hard to keep the mind engaged with the focal point as it does in the early phases of learning breath practice.

Even so, body scan builds focus, acceptance, and awareness like any other mindfulness practice. In this way, it can be a great alternative to breath-based practices if those present unique challenges for you.

In addition, in my experience, getting into the body is a great (perhaps the best) way to get out of your head. It is for this reason that resting in sensations during a body scan can be deeply relaxing even to new meditators and after relatively short periods of time.

Potential Challenges of Body Scan Meditation.

As mentioned above, body scan meditation can present some challenges. People with past trauma, whether diagnosed or not, should proceed gently and in small doses. Traumatic experiences can have lasting effects on the body even when we aren’t consciously aware of it. If you have concerns in this area, consult with a trauma-informed mindfulness teacher or your mental health support provider first.

Another challenge is that some people don’t feel much sensation when they do body scan. This can be normal for those new to the practice, since some of us may need some time to build awareness of bodily sensations. It also can be normal because there is a range of unique capacities when it comes to mindful awareness. If a lack of sensation is severe, chronic, or concerns you, though, you may talk to your doctor to ensure that your medical needs are being fully met.

Why Body Scan Meditation Is Great for Lawyers and Other Busy People

Body scan meditations are very useful for attorneys because they remind us to pay attention to and take care of our bodies. In law school, we learn to emphasize rationality in making decisions for our clients. While separating fact from emotion is critical, we lawyers are still human beings with human bodies.

To do our best for our clients, we need to understand and respect the limitations of our own bodies so we can fulfill our responsibility to our clients. As I’ve written before, emotions are sensations in the body, so body scan practices may also have the incidental benefit of building emotional intelligence and tolerance when powerful emotions arise.

Image of woman doing tree yoga pose on the beach with a quote that says "getting into the body is a great way to get out of your head"

Potential Benefits of Body Scan Meditation.

Even outside of emotions, however, the awareness that body scan practice engenders can have more fundamental benefits for lawyers and professionals. Some of the most common bodily issues that can impede us from doing our best work are represented in the acronym HALT, which stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired. These symptoms are fundamental to the human condition, but in our fast-paced world it is easy to skip lunch, push our emotions to the side, miss out on social opportunities, and deprive ourselves of sleep.

Body scan meditations are excellent for lawyers because they remind us that we are not merely brains filled with legal strategy, but people who must be fed, rested, and cared for. If you practice body scan meditation, you will develop the skills to notice the symptoms of various conditions and emotions in your body in the early and more subtle stages before they get to the point where they affect your performance, outlook, or demeanor. These skills are not only necessary to performing our responsibilities as lawyers, but they are also beneficial for anyone who wants to be a top performer in a high-stakes environment.

Image with quote that says "emotions are feelings in the body" which you may experience if you do body scan meditation

Body Scan Meditation Can Be a Building Block for Mindfulness Cultivation.

Finally, body scan is building block to support further growth in your meditation practice or just when dealing with the difficulties of life. When you start a meditation practice, it can seem like the focal point is the object of practice. As your practice advances, you may learn, however, that the focal point is really a tool. In other words, the point of practice is not just to focus on the breath or the sensations of the body. It is, instead, to build the skill of resting with the breath or the body.

If you can learn to do this with body scan practice, then you have one more tool at your disposal when meditation or life throws you curveballs. For example, perhaps troubling thoughts or overwhelming emotions come up during your practice. A meditator proficient in body scan might be able to shift focus to a less reactive part of the body, such as the feet, to rest from the experience until they find enough stability and calm to proceed with normal practice. You could also do this in life, if for instance you have a tense meeting with opposing counsel and need to keep your cool.

Image with pictures of people meditating that has the quote "body scan is a building block to support further growth in your meditation practice"

Conclusion: Body Scan Meditation Is an Excellent Practice for Lawyers and Professionals to Try.

In short, body scan is a simple practice to learn and may be more accessible to new meditators than other styles of practice. It offers many benefits that support a meditation practice and build coping skills for life. Lawyers in particular could stand to benefit from the practice, so give it a try.

To understand more how important body-based practices are to lawyers and how to add them into your routine, check out the Personal Well-Being Worksheet, Stress Management Workbook, and Coping Strategies Ebook.

To try body scan practice, check out our meditations that incorporate body scan techniques.

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Book Discussion with Yoga Specialists This Saturday

Join me on Saturday afternoon for a discussion of my book How to Be a Badass Lawyer ht and Q&A session. This session is perfect for anyone interested in learning more about mindfulness and compassion, writing, or the process of crafting a book.

In particular, I will explain the title for the book and discuss the four practices I teach in it, including: breath, body awareness, joy, and loving-kindness.

This session is done in partnership with Yoga Specialists. It is free for anyone to join. Lawyers, professionals, students, yoga and mindfulness teachers, and anyone is welcome.

You can register here.

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This App Can Help You Find More Moments of Space

Cover image for a blog post reviewing the Meditation App moments of Space

I wasn’t looking for a new meditation app, but one came looking for me. The lovely people at Moments of Space reached out to ask if I would be willing to check out their blog and do a sponsored post.

As a busy lawyer, mom, and author, it’s not an easy thing to just add a new task on my to-do list but they appealed to all my favorite things. Am I curious by nature? Absolutely. Did they offer me a chance to try something new? Yes, indeed.

What is Different about Moments of Space?

Moments of Space is a relatively new entrant to the meditation app market, but it offers a fresh take. Unlike most other apps, Moments of Space encourages an “eyes open” style of practice. You read that right. The meditations cue you not to close or lower your eyes, but instead keep them wide open.

This invitation, I have to admit, made me nervous at first. I had heard some really great teachers suggest meditating with eyes open before, but my eyes always seemed to close on their own whenever I meditated. Could I even meditate with my eyes open? What would it be like? Would I be so distracted with visual information that my mind would never settle?

I had to get answers to these questions, so I quickly agreed to explore and write a post about my experience. And, yes, keep scrolling because I share my answers below.

Who Is Behind This App?

The first thing I was curious about when I started exploring Moments of Space was the people behind it. The creator is Kim Little, a long-time meditator and London tech entrepreneur. Kim’s experience with Tibetan Buddhism, a branch with which I am familiar and has bestowed upon the world some of the most transformative heart practices, was immediately appealing to me. I also liked his goal of making the teachings practical and accessible and building a business based on ethics.

A more recent addition to the app is someone who does not require an introduction: Gwyneth Paltrow. Paltrow, known first as an actress and now as the purveyor of all things lifestyle on Goop, is a co-owner and Global Community Director. Though not a teacher, Paltrow is a long-time meditator and was drawn to the app when she discovered eyes open practice.

One thing I noted about this relationship that I appreciated was that the app indicates that the meditations lead by Paltrow were “read” by her. It’s a small thing that only a meditation teacher would notice. Yet, I appreciated this subtle reference to differentiate between practice with a trained teacher and a celebrity using her influence and well-loved voice to promote the practice of meditation.

Art from meditation app Moments of Space

What Was the App Like?

Like many apps, Moments of Space offers a seven-day free trial so that you can check it’s features out for yourself before you decide to subscribe. Here are the features that I noticed when I gave it a shot.

Seamless Set Up

The download and set up for the app couldn’t have been easier. I created an account easily and did the quick questionnaire to identify my path with a few screen taps.

Nice Features

After getting set up, I went through all the tabs on the app. I first looked for an unguided timer, since silence is my jam, and surprisingly all meditation apps don’t have this. I was pleased to see one there with options for setting the time and selecting sounds if desired.

Like any good app, Moments of Space also tracks and rewards and achievements to help keep you motivated to practice and explore.

Skills Pathways

The app also has “paths” which are a structured journey through the realms of Body, Mind, Heart, and Space. I liked the inclusion of “space” as an option, since open awareness practice–where no particular focal point is selected–has helped me learn to find deep relaxation and inner peace. Instruction on this practice is also particularly helpful since open awareness, due to its utter simplicity, may be the hardest to grasp.

I was not able to try all 4 paths but I worked through the first level of the “heart” and “mind” pathway. I enjoyed the “learn,” “practice” and “apply” model for each lesson. They included a short conceptual teaching paired with a practice and then a very short (1-3 minute) debriefing to drive the concepts home.

Check-In Opportunities

On the home page, you will be prompted to reflect on how you are feeling. Checking in with how you feel regularly is a good practice in itself. However, if you try it on the app, you will also get an AI-generated recommendation. In a tiring world, anything to help fight the battle against decision fatigue is appreciated.

Clean Appearance and Calming Animations

Meditation apps come in a lot of flavors. Some are very subdued and others whimsical. Pun fully intended, but Moments of Space picks the middle path on this. Neutral to warm tones are featured prominently and it has an energized but clean appearance. Animations are added to most meditations but they are calming concentric circles. Overall, the feel of the app is one of ease, simplicity, and harmony.

To learn more about the app and how it looks, check out this video here.

A promotional video for the Moments of Space app.

How Were the Meditations?

The app is for meditation, after all, so you may be wondering how they were. As someone who doesn’t prefer to use guided meditations most of the time, I have to say I enjoyed them. Here are the big reasons why.

Soothing and Neutral Voices

You know how musicians tend to wear black when they perform so you can focus on the music instead of what the musicians are wearing? That’s how I would describe the voices for the meditations. They are soothing and neutral. The voices are pleasant in their own right but they don’t steal the show from the practice.

Unobtrusive Guiding

The style of guiding for the meditations is similar too. Sometimes guided meditations leave little room for awareness or insights and Moments of Space, as its name would imply, avoids this trap. The guiding is measured, calm, and includes enough pauses so that you still feel like you are practicing meditation instead of listening to a podcast.

Nice Options

The mediations also offer options. You can add music, set them for sitting or walking, and select a male or female voice. I also enjoyed that some of the “Moments” meditations included practice for real life activities, like cooking, writing, or walking. This can make those activities more enjoyable and they help you learn to do an eye open meditation any time, anywhere.

Is Eyes Wide Open a Good Thing?

So at last we have reached the final test. What about all this eyes wide open business? Though I was skeptical at first, I have to say that it did help me reshape my perceptions of reality. Of course, there were a few times when my eyes got tired and I had to close them to take a break. This was not a problem, since most of the practices include gentle reminders that closing your eyes is okay too. In general, though, I was able to keep them open.

Having meditated for more than 10 years, it was nice to see how this subtle change could have an impact. Until I tried meditating with eyes open, I would have assumed the visual information would clutter my experience too much. Not so, I was able to focus just fine.

I also would have assumed my brain would get confused between thoughts with any visual content and the things I was actually seeing with my eyes in the moment. Again, this wasn’t what happened. To the contrary, it seemed that my eyes being open made the visual content in my mind more detailed. Despite this, I was able to find my way back to presence and start to see the difference between mental images and real visual perception.

In other words, mediation with eyes open is a real chance to literally see how our attention can color our perception. It’s seeing realities like this that I have found leads to wiser choices, as well as peace and serenity. In the end, I plan to continue exploring eyes open meditation and am glad to have had the opportunity to explore this with the app.

Want a Preview?

If you have had enough of me sharing my opinion about the app, here’s a chance to sample it for yourself. Check out the “Awareness of Space” meditation with usuals from the app read by Gwyneth Paltrow here.

A video with the “Awareness of Space” meditation ready by Gwyneth Paltrow with visuals from the Moments of Space meditation app.

Conclusion

Moments of Space is an app that offers a modern day approach to meditation, clean presentation, helpful instruction, and style of practice that may be new to many users. It’s worth a try for anyone looking to learn meditation or add a new app to support their meditation habit. To try it for yourself, download the app here or search for “Moments of Space” on the app store for your smartphone.

I’m Skeptical of Resolutions but Love New Year’s Reflections

Cover image for blog post about new year's resolutions v. reflections

This is the time of year when lots of people start New Year’s resolutions. At the same time, you are also bound to see a plethora of folks taking to social media to proclaim that resolutions are a scam.

I’m not big on resolutions, so I can understand the skepticism. You can’t just decide one day to be different. Instead, as we all know, it takes consistent action over time to make real change. But this realism, accurate though it may be, isn’t entirely complete.

As I have written about several times, Dry January is a part of my annual traditions. In years past, I have also successfully started or refreshed habits relating to nutrition, meditation, fitness, and personal hobbies in January.

January Is Arbitrary but Not Capricious.

Of course, January is an arbitrary time to start a habit. Anyone who watched their January resolve fade to oblivion by February knows this. Even so, other arbitrary deadlines have helped to motivate me too. As I shared last year, I set a goal to write my first book before my 40th birthday. I knew there was no reason that this had to happen but I got it done.

So I have to ask: is the impetus to set a resolution in January really so arbitrary? I don’t believe it is. Obviously, I’m aware that time is a construct and the calendar is a human creation. Though the month January and the concept of the new year may be somewhat made up, they signify something that is 100% real: the passage of time.

Resolutions are popular in January because the start of a new year is bound to prompt reflection on the past one. In that reflection, you may notice patterns in your behavior and consider ways of doing things better. And you may think about how quickly time passes and habits form, sometimes without our awareness, if we don’t take action to disrupt them.

A quote about the significance of the new year and why reflections are important

Reflections and Resolutions Aren’t the Same.

This is what has always been so motivating to me. As a lawyer who wears too many hats, it is certainly good advice to “pick your battles” in life and to consider your energy and appetite for change. At the same time, though, the question “if not now, when?” can be a hard to answer to yourself year after year about something that matters to you.

Over time, some of the healthy habits I started in new years past have lapsed, so I don’t claim to be a magician. But the fact that January helped me find motivation to return to good practices in the past gives me greater confidence that I can do it again.

So what does all of this mean for you? Am I telling you that resolutions are good or bad? Am I speaking out of both sides of my mouth?

New Year’s Reflections Can Help Us See Our Patterns.

My point here is that resolutions don’t work for many people for the simple reason that habit change can’t come from willpower and momentary motivation alone. New Year’s reflections, though, can help us see our habits and patterns and consider whether those patterns is helping us create the life we want.

As I have written before, I don’t believe in resolutions. Instead, I believe in small changes, gradual growth, consistent effort, and ample supports and self-compassion. With this approach, you don’t rely on early energy to carry you through to a goal. Instead, you count on that energy lapsing and create a plan for supporting yourself when that time comes.

While I appreciate the anti-perfectionist spirit inspiring many to castigate the pull to resolutions at the New Year, I think much of the rhetoric goes too far. Sure, as I have experienced, putting pressure on yourself in January to “improve” can be incredibly damaging, misguided, and ineffective.

An image with a quote about resolutions and reflections at the new year

Seeing Your Patterns Is Empowering.

On the other hand, reflecting on your past experience and seeing insights about how you can take better care of yourself in the new year is different. Reflecting is merely seeing the truth. When it comes to habits and personal patterns, the truth can be hard to see. The new year offers an opportunity to consider those habits and patterns over time and therefore provides a chance to think about where we are heading in the future.

When we get a glimpse of the truth about our patterns, we get a chance to choose something different. This can allow us greater agency in life and, in my experience, more happiness and peace.

For all of these reasons, I’m skeptical of New Year’s resolutions as much as anyone else. But I proudly say that I love New Year’s reflections. They have served me well in the past and have helped me create a better future for myself. Whether you are resolving, reflecting, or just being this January, I hope you have a wonderful 2024.

Want Some Help for Your Reflections?

If you are interested in doing some New Year’s reflection, check out our Resources page. The Meditation Habit Worksheet and the Pause and Begin Again e-book may help you start or refresh your meditation practice. The Personal Well-Being Worksheet is designed to help you consider personal practices to support your well-being. If you need some community to support yourself in 2024, check out our Events page with new (and free) guided meditation events.

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Meditation Teacher Sharon Salzberg Helps Us Bring Mindfulness Into Real Life

I have read a lot of books on mindfulness and followed many meditation teachers over the years. Some help me understand the practice of meditation better. Some help me understand myself better. But Sharon Salzberg has helped me understand life better.

Sharon Salzberg is one of the most well-known teachers of mindfulness in the world. She has been teaching for more than four decades, is a founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, the author of numerous books (which I’ll mention below), and the host of the wildly popular Metta Hour podcast. This is a fantastic resume to be sure, but it’s not what I like most about Salzberg.

Salzberg Makes Mindfulness Accessible

What I like most is that, despite this resume, Salzberg’s teachings don’t come across as esoteric, ethereal, or even professorial. They are down-to-earth, practical, and human. If you read her books or listen to her podcast, it’s immediately clear that Salzberg knows her stuff but she always talks to you and never at you.

In fact, though I certainly have experienced a mind and heart expansion from reading Salzberg’s works, reading them didn’t feel like being taught. Instead, reading Salzberg’s books felt more like talking about life with a wise friend or good neighbor.

Salzberg on Loving-Kindness Meditation

If you are reading this blog, the odds are that you have heard of Sharon Salzberg and you may have already encountered some of her works. What you may not realize and what I didn’t appreciate until I sat down to write this post is how extensive and broadly applicable her work was.

Salzberg is perhaps most well-known for her teachings on my favorite meditation practice, loving-kindness. But what I hope you get from this post is that her work can help you learn how to live loving-kindness too.

Meditation Books from Sharon Salzberg

To more clearly illustrate what I am talking about here, I provide a few summaries of the books from Sharon Salzberg that I have enjoyed the most:

Loving-Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

This is a book that explains the practice of loving-kindness in depth. It discusses each aspect of the practice to support the process of opening the heart more broadly. As I explain in my own book, loving-kindness is a dynamic practice that includes both body awareness, mental imagery, and emotional understanding. This book breaks the practice down in a simple way to help support you in your practice.

Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves & the World

This book is for anyone seeking stability and inspiration to keep working to make the world a better place. I read this book years ago as I was reeling from the bruising 2020 election and I can’t tell you the healing it brought me. It explains how mindfulness can be a stabilizing force in the work towards change and how compassion can inspire action even amid fear. She also offers more resources relating to political action and election stress on her website which is bound to be helpful to many as we head into a new election cycle.

Books Applying Mindfulness to Real Life

In addition to her books teaching meditation practices, Sharon Salzberg also has books applying mindfulness to life.

Real Happiness at Work: Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement & Peace

The goal of this blog is to help lawyers and professionals not just learn about meditation but bring mindfulness into their lives and work. That’s the goal of this book from Salzberg too. It embeds mindfulness concepts and practices into the life of work. What I like best are the micro practices sprinkled into every chapter to help you incorporate mindfulness into your work regardless of your experience (or lack thereof) with meditation practice.

Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness & Freedom

This is Salzberg’s latest book. There are many teachers who talk about the process of contracting or tightening during difficulty, including Tara Brach. This book, though, explains how easy it is to do that habitually throughout our lives. It offers teachings about how to open back up again to get what we actually want out of life: meaning, connection, and peace. In a time when the world seems intent on making us afraid and isolated, this book will help you rebalance again towards hope and calm.

Looking for More Meditation Instruction?

If you are interested in learning more, Salzberg frequently offers special events and courses where students can learn more. Fortunately, we can expect to see more from Salzberg. In her latest book, Real Life, Salzberg discussed the fact that she is going to be devoting more of her time to writing. This has already proven to be fruitful, with the recent release of a 10^th anniversary edition of her book, Love Your Enemies, which I discuss here.

Salzberg is a teacher who has made mindfulness practices accessible and approachable to thousands of people around the world. Whether you do a few of her guided meditations or do a deep dive into all of her books, you are bound to learn not just about mindfulness, but also some skills for life.

Founder’s Note: The links to the books discussed here are paid through the Amazon affiliates program. The reviews and recommendations to all books and the author are unpaid and are genuine and sincere.

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Five Things to Know about Meditation with Trauma

Though I am trained to teach mindfulness, yoga, and compassion and have undergone trauma-sensitive training, I am not a trauma healer. As a meditation teacher, however, I have had questions arise about whether meditation is right for a person who has been diagnosed with trauma or had a traumatic experience.

To be sure, meditation is something that can help people who have experienced trauma because it can increase mental focus, body awareness, and self-compassion.

Concerns about Meditation for People who Have Experienced Trauma

Even so, meditation could include some risks for those who have experienced trauma. The experience of meditation can allow traumatic experiences to resurface, whether in the body or mind, and this can result in adverse symptoms.

Moreover, trauma is exceedingly common and researchers now understand that it can be caused by a broad range of experiences. Thus, the reality is that past trauma may be a concern for a large portion of people who explore meditation.

With this background in mind, my perspective as a mindfulness teacher and someone is that meditation practice can be beneficial for those who have experienced trauma. With that said, individuals who are experiencing symptoms associated with trauma may need additional supports to ensure that their practices help them heal. Here are my recommendations for those supports.

1. Take Your Time.

I recommend a gradual approach to building a meditation practice for all people. It makes sense to give yourself time to acclimate to the experience of mindfulness and it is much easier to find a few minutes of free time in your schedule.

When it comes to trauma, though, this is even more essential. Trauma is more common than you’d think. Though less than 10% of people are diagnosed with PTSD, it is estimated that as many as 70% of people worldwide have experienced a traumatic event.

Traumatic experiences can occur for incidents that may fall outside of the incidents that give rise to a PTSD diagnosis, including medical procedures, auto collisions, work-related incidents, or interpersonal experiences especially when they intersect with issues of race, class, religion, sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

This can even be true if we don’t have a clear memory of the traumatic event. Thus, the reality is that many of us may not know how a practice will affect us or what might surface in practice. Taking a gradual approach can allow you to monitor this more carefully and adjust or seek support if you need it.

2. Get Support.

Technology has enabled us to learn meditation on our own but this doesn’t mean it is necessarily ideal. Social support is helpful when it comes to meditation and can be essential for dealing with trauma. If you are working with a care provider to treat symptoms associated with trauma, consult them first and keep them updated about your progress.

Likewise, skilled meditation teachers or meditation groups may offer social or technical support for your practice. Trusted relatives and friends may also be able to help you process your experience if you feel comfortable sharing your experience.

Even if you meditate on your own, you do not have to face whatever arises during meditation alone. Moreover, there is no reason for you to strive to use meditation alone to support your healing.

Meditation is a powerful tool but it is most effective as part of an overall self-care regimen that may include therapy, medication, coaching, exercise, and robust social support. Getting support with your practice may help you find or learn the strategies that will work best for you and accelerate the healing process.

3. Protect and Use Your Own Agency.

Many people start meditation thinking that they must do exactly as they are told. This isn’t necessarily true and when it comes to trauma it is certainly not true. Trauma can create a variety of different symptoms for different people.

a. Notice the Struggles You May Have in Practice

Some have difficulty with mental images or scenes. Some struggle with intense physical sensations or sensory experiences. Some may not be able to relax because they don’t feel safe. And some people may not be immediately aware how an experience has affected them due to unclear or missing memories.

b. Consider and Try Modifications

The good news is that you can modify most meditation practices just like you could any physical exercise. Some helpful modifications might include:

Opening your eyes or change the length of your sessions.
Incorporating movement into your practice, with light yoga, walking meditation, or practices like tai chi or qigong.
Trying interval training for your mind by, for example, meditating for intervals with periods of rest.
Using touch or smell or sound to offer support to your practice as long as you avoid the sensory items that may be triggering or problematic for you.

Since trauma can affect the agency of the people it affects, modifying your meditation practice to suit your needs is a way to build skills and personal efficacy. For more ways to modify and support a mindfulness practice in a trauma-sensitive way, I highly recommend the book Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness by David A. Treleaven (paid link).

4. Find Your Window – Not Your Edge.

Some yoga teachers and internet gurus encourage people to find there “edge.” The use of this term has rarely been defined but I generally understand it to mean that one should toe the line of their personal limits. This may sound cool and there may be times when it is empowering to see what you can do. But when it comes to meditation, I strongly prefer windows to edges.

a. Defining the Window of Tolerance

By this, I mean the window of tolerance, a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel. It refers to the optimal zone of arousal, where you aren’t bored and listless but not dysregulated.

Segal wasn’t necessarily referring to meditation practice when he coined this term, but it applies. When it comes to trauma or any deep-seated emotional issue, going for the edge too fast runs the risk of overwhelm, repeating trauma, and demoralization.

b. The Benefits of Finding Your Window of Tolerance

Focusing instead on finding your window of tolerance, however, is about building skills over time. You focus on facing what you can handle from a mental, emotional, and physical standpoint and you allow that window to gradually open.

For difficulty in life, most of us want the suffering to go away immediately. We want to feel like we can just push a bit harder and get over the mountaintop. Though mindfulness can help us get there, it rarely happens so quickly.

While discipline is a part of the process, so is developing wisdom about what you can’t control. Identifying and staying within your window of tolerance in meditation paradoxically may help you learn to honor your limits and expand them over time.

5. Start with Kindness.

Many people who start meditating want focus and calm, but in the pursuit of that we find something much more important: self-compassion. People who are experiencing trauma may benefit from this because shame and self-judgment are common symptoms following a traumatic experience. Even though self-compassion isn’t automatic for many people, you don’t have to wait weeks and months to learn this lesson.

a. Why Kindness Is Essential Even if It Is Challenging

If you have past trauma or challenging life experiences, kindness should be a cornerstone of your practice. It may take some time to internalize this, but any meditation practice should reinforce the ideas that you are worthy, loved, and deserve to be respected, feel good, and have your wishes honored.

Thus, in starting or structuring a practice, self-kindness should be a focal point. As one of my teachers aptly noted, meditation is a healing art instead of a material art. We shouldn’t be battling through every session, but instead learning how to take better care of ourselves.

b. Self-Kindness Can Balance the Urge to Push Too Hard

Sometimes meditation gets tangled up with self-improvement because the practices can help you behave better out in the world. But one of the big reasons that is true is because the practices can help you understand and care for yourself better. The practices don’t fix you; they help you see without judgment. The way to achieve this is through self-kindness. As you proceed with your practice, kindness should be the focal point and the guide.

Conclusion

These are a few ideas to raise awareness about trauma in the context of mindfulness from the perspective of a meditation teacher and fellow practitioner who has used mindfulness as one aspect of personal healing. In the end, you and your care providers know best whether meditation can support a healthy lifestyle for you.

Meditation can support healing for people who have experienced trauma but supports, including help from trained professionals may be needed. Whether you meditate or not for personal healing, know that your efforts to care for yourself are so important and will contribute to a better world.

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Mindfulness, Compassion, and Meaning: Guest Appearance on The Mindful Fire Podcast

I really love appearing on podcasts and it’s not just because I’ve got some books to sell. I love answering questions. This sounds kind of weird but I love the way they put me on the spot. It’s almost like a jungle gym for the mind. If you give it an obstacle, you will be amazed to see the connections and insights it offers.

Many times when I am invited on podcasts, the hosts present me as an expert. Even so, I find that I learn so much from thinking about things in a new way and getting the perspective from the host. When I appeared on The Mindful Fire podcast with Adam Coelho, I was not disappointed.

Most frequently, I have appeared on podcasts with lawyers or for lawyers. Adam however, is not a lawyer and he’s somebody I never would have met but for LinkedIn. Adam works at Google and he teaches mindfulness there as part of the Search Inside Yourself program.

Like me, Adam has a side hustle and a goal to help other professionals use mindfulness to achieve financial independence and build the life they want. Because of this background, Adam knew the questions to ask to fully explore mindfulness and compassion practices to professionals of all kinds.

As such, we talked about various topics during the interview, including:

How struggling with anxiety, depression, and overthinking led me to explore mindfulness and compassion.
Why a gradual approach and self-compassion are essential for mindfulness practice.
How mindfulness and compassion work together and should be equally emphasized.
What compassion is, why it matters, and how it is distinct from empathy.
How the practice of loving-kindness can help people get comfortable with physical sensations in the body and understand that everyone wants to be safe, healthy, happy, and at peace.
Why mindfulness and compassion offer particular benefits to lawyers and working professionals.

My favorite insight from the interview, though, was when Adam asked me what I would tell other people who were starting to build “a life they loved.” This is a great question for many reasons because it forces us to focus on two things: what we want in life and how we feel in our lives. It also assumes we can and deserve to be excited about our lives.

Though I didn’t feel any hesitation as I started to respond, my answer surprised me. The key, I explained, was meaning. Mindfulness and compassion helped me because the practices helped me manage stress, build inner resources, and connect with who I was. But mindfulness and compassion changed my life because all of those things allowed me to connect with my deepest values, build a community, and create meaning in my life.

If you want to dive into these topics more, you can listen to the episode here or on your normal podcast platform.

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