I really love appearing on podcasts and it’s not just because I’ve got some books to sell. I love answering questions. This sounds kind of weird but I love the way they put me on the spot. It’s almost like a jungle gym for the mind. If you give it an obstacle, you will be amazed to see the connections and insights it offers.
Many times when I am invited on podcasts, the hosts present me as an expert. Even so, I find that I learn so much from thinking about things in a new way and getting the perspective from the host. When I appeared on The Mindful Fire podcast with Adam Coelho, I was not disappointed.
Most frequently, I have appeared on podcasts with lawyers or for lawyers. Adam however, is not a lawyer and he’s somebody I never would have met but for LinkedIn. Adam works at Google and he teaches mindfulness there as part of the Search Inside Yourself program.
Like me, Adam has a side hustle and a goal to help other professionals use mindfulness to achieve financial independence and build the life they want. Because of this background, Adam knew the questions to ask to fully explore mindfulness and compassion practices to professionals of all kinds.
As such, we talked about various topics during the interview, including:
My favorite insight from the interview, though, was when Adam asked me what I would tell other people who were starting to build “a life they loved.” This is a great question for many reasons because it forces us to focus on two things: what we want in life and how we feel in our lives. It also assumes we can and deserve to be excited about our lives.
Though I didn’t feel any hesitation as I started to respond, my answer surprised me. The key, I explained, was meaning. Mindfulness and compassion helped me because the practices helped me manage stress, build inner resources, and connect with who I was. But mindfulness and compassion changed my life because all of those things allowed me to connect with my deepest values, build a community, and create meaning in my life.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Anyone interested in mindfulness is likely to understand the deep connection between thoughts and actions. The stories we tell ourselves about the world and our own lives often dictate, sometimes without our conscious awareness, the actions we take or don’t take. Given this, many people would intuitively agree that inner work, including reflection and healing, can lead to transformation on the personal and ultimately societal level.
This is the theory which underlies The Inner Work of Racial Justice: Healing Ourselves and Transforming Our Communities Through Mindfulness by Rhonda V. Magee, a law professor and world-renowned mindfulness teacher. In the book, Magee posits that the history of white supremacy in the United States and across the world requires personal and interpersonal healing. Building on her own personal experience of healing through mindfulness and compassion, Magee’s book shares stories, reflections, and practices to help all of us do the inner work needed to build a more just society.
Undoubtedly some of you reading this may be frustrated by this idea. You might see the state of the world and think that we don’t have time for inner work; we need action instead. I won’t argue with that perspective, and I think that is Magee’s ultimate objective. But Magee, like many thinkers and leaders before her, understands that wise action often requires self-reflection.
As Magee explores in her book, some of us may not see or fully understand the need for action due to privilege. Some of us may not feel the need for courage because we may have ignored the impact of race in our own lives or overlooked how it has impacted people in our own community. It is in this space that Magee’s book tries to create an opening, a space for reflection, and ultimately a bridge outside of ourselves.
If we think about it, most of us can understand how doing inner work can lead to a lasting and meaningful change in conduct. I’ve seen how examining my own inner stories and embracing the pain, hurt, and confusion there has helped me lead a more courageous life. But even though our news feeds are filled with stories of the lasting effects of racism many of us have not had the opportunity to look inside to see how these stories have affected us or identify what we can do about them.
Even if mindfulness and compassion may seem like a strange fit for this undertaking, since Western mindfulness remains predominantly white, this idea has deep roots in Buddhist philosophy. The path of the Bodhisattva instructs us to work to end suffering for all beings once we have attained peace for ourselves. Likewise, the Buddhist concepts that may help individuals address personal suffering—rooting out greed, hate, and delusion, wariness of judgment, and embracing common humanity—have obvious connections to the work of building a racially just society.
Given my prior understanding of these concepts and experience with them, I enjoyed reading Magee’s book. Like the best law professors (and teachers of mindfulness) do, she combined scholarly analysis, deep thought, and steady coaching to help the reader not just learn but also hear and internalize what she had to say.
She offered stories, both personal and from her teaching experience, to explain concepts and practices (journal prompts and guided meditations) to help the reader apply the concepts to their own lives. As a result, reading the book didn’t feel like a law school lecture. It felt more like talking over hard truths, but doing so in a circle with friends.
Even those new to mindfulness and compassion practices, however, may learn a lot from the book. One thing many new meditators struggle with is the notion that thoughts, emotions, or bodily sensations are somehow bad or off limits when it comes to mindfulness. In the book, Magee shares how mindfulness helped her allow her emotions and heal as a result. She also shared several stories and practices about making space for the feelings and experiences of others which can lead to transformation in groups.
With that said, Magee’s book may be a frustrating read for some. For one thing, it is not a book that should be read straight through. A chapter or two at a time, allowing for pauses and reflection, is ideal. In addition, Magee’s emphasis on nonjudgment (though consistent with mindfulness practice and supported by research) may alienate readers currently experiencing anger and frustration about issues of race and inequity. Though Magee’s book is clearly intended to ultimately encourage conduct change, the book emphasizes inner reflection far more than direct action.
Overall, however, The Inner Work of Racial Justice is a worthwhile read and especially important for lawyers. It is ideal for those interested in exploring how they can support racial justice or curious about the ways that mindfulness and compassion practices can help us build a better world. Though the book does not offer many strategies for direct action, it offers instruction, reflections, and practices that may empower readers to see more clearly and act more courageously to make a more just world.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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For this reason, it might actually help you to think about incorporating some rest periods into your meditation practice. I first learned about this idea years ago on a meditation retreat I attended. During one of the afternoon sessions (which are the the toughest for me because that’s when sleepiness sets it), the teacher reminded us to rethink our approach to meditation. He explained that, while we often designate a time period to meditate due to our busy schedules, we can play with the structure of our practice. In particular, he had us try a period of 4 minutes of meditation with alternating 1-minute stretch/movement breaks.
When I heard this, I instantly thought of all the HIIT (high-intensity interval training) cardio classes I’d done. With this style of exercise, you do short bursts of high impact exercise followed by lower impact, active recovery periods. Of course, what the teacher at the retreat was proposing was actually “LIIT” or “low-intensity interval training.” I soon discovered that it was, indeed, quite LIIT. After several long periods of meditation that day, it was a breath of fresh air just to try a new way.
Why does this matter? It matters because, as with fitness, meditation practice is destined to run into roadblocks if you do it long enough. You may have injuries or illnesses. You may have mental resistance. You may just not feel like it. You may still be developing the skills needed to support a practice. Sometimes it helps to keep going if you free yourself of the mental constructs you’ve created as to the “way” you are “supposed” to do it. As one example, I usually try to get 30 minutes of meditation a day. When I ran into a bad patch a while back where I just didn’t feel like it, I committed to 5 minutes a day. I often ended up sitting for longer because, by the end of the 5 minutes, my resistance had passed. More significantly, though, I still have a practice today.
On the other hand, I have also had times where I needed more than my normal 30 minutes a day to work through particular stresses in my life. The problem, though, as I have learned with years of practice is that I tend to have diminishing returns when I practice for longer than 30 minutes. My feet fall asleep, my knees and back hurt, and I tend to be so low on energy that I am almost asleep. In those times, I have instead broken up my long sit into two shorter sessions of 20 minutes with a few minutes to stretch in between. The results were much better and more helpful for me than trying to power through just 1 session of 45 minutes.
And that’s the point, isn’t it? The point isn’t to have an ideal practice. It isn’t to have a practice that competes with anyone else’s. The point is to have a practice that serves your life. So, while discipline is certainly part of any good practice, don’t put your practice in a box. If there is one thing my practice has given me, it is an awareness of the dangers of all or nothing thinking. Sure, 4 minutes of meditation may not be as “good” as 5 minutes, but it is way better than 0. More significantly, recognizing that 4 minutes might serve me better than 5 minutes on a given day is practicing self-compassion and self-awareness which, as a lawyer, I constantly need to practice.
So, if you are struggling to find the time to meditate or have a hard time sitting still for very long, perhaps you should consider adjusting the way you are doing it. Think about where you are in your life and, with kindness and generosity towards yourself, try a new way. That’s what the meditation teacher was saying when he told us to try intervals: don’t let your mind get in the way of your meditation practice. To do this, you have to factor in your body and heart along the way. Low intensity interval training for meditation is just one way that you could balance your practice to help your mind, while acknowledging the whims and needs of your body and heart.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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If you are interested in learning more about this, you may be gratified to know that there are a number of high quality and accessible courses for you to explore compassion practices further. Here’s a brief comparison of some of the most well-known courses available that can help you get started with the process of cultivating compassion for yourself and others.
1. Best Introduction: Science of Compassion by Kelly McGonigal
This is an audio course available for purchase from Audible or Sounds True. It is divided into chapters and each chapter contains a brief lecture on a compassion topic as well as relevant strategies. This course is an exceptional introduction into compassion research and practices. McGonigal is a psychologist but she knows how to tell a story and understands the science well enough to explain it in plain language. She does a remarkable job embedding research-based practices into human stories to convey the power of compassion and how we can all bring it into our lives and the world. At only $30 for the audio version, this course is a fraction of the price of the others covered here. While it cannot compare to the benefits obtained from a more interactive course, it is an excellent and accessible introduction to compassion practices and a great value.
2. Best for New Meditators: Power of Awareness by Tara Brach & Jack Kornfield
This is an introduction to mindfulness and meditation created by popular and renowned meditation teachers and psychologists, Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. It is available at regular intervals throughout the year from Sounds True. The course is primarily composed of video and audio recordings but they are high quality and informative. Tara Brach is famous for her RAIN technique, a compassion practice for handling painful emotions and an entire section is devoted to this strategy. If needed, online community options and Zoom meetings are available to participants who need more detailed instruction. Although this course is not live, the teachings were recorded before a live audience. Recordings of Q&A sessions with the audience are included and this is where Brach’s and Kornfield’s teaching really shines. In addition, the course includes a self-study, half-day retreat, which offers a chance to explore the practices in more depth.
3. Most Practical and Comprehensive: Compassion Cultivation Training from CCARE at Stanford University
This course is the marriage of ancient meditation practices and modern science. It was founded by researchers at Stanford University and Thupten Jinpa, Ph.D., a Tibetan refugee who served as translator to the Dalai Lama for more than 30 years and later earned a Ph.D. in religious studies. This course uses Tibetan compassion practices, including loving-kindness and tonglen, as well as others derived from research to teach students how to increase compassion for themselves and for others. CCARE has limited in-person choices for instruction but trained teachers offer the course elsewhere, including virtual options. Because compassion for self and others are intertwined, I found the subject most practical when both aspects were treated together in this program. The structure of the CCT program, as well as the small class size, permitted more time for discussion with and learning from classmates.
4. Best for Self-Compassion: Mindful Self-Compassion from the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion
This course may be one of the most well-known compassion courses across the globe. It was created by researchers and teachers, Kristin Neff and Chris Germer. It is available in either a live or online format that ranges from 8 to 12 weeks, depending on the course structure. It is packed with strategies and resources to expand and employ self-compassion, regardless of one’s experience with meditation. The tone of this course is very soft, so soft in fact that lawyers or others not familiar with compassion practices may struggle or be put off by it. Like the Power of Awareness above, it includes a half-day retreat as well but the retreat for MSC is live and done with other participants, which is generally more supportive for a first retreat experience. Because MSC is so well-known, one other neat aspect of the course, especially if you take it online, is that your classmates are likely to include people from around the world. Interacting with classmates around the world on the topic of self-compassion may help you understand more than anything how universal and critical the human need for self-kindness is.
So, which course should you choose? I’ll admit that CCT was my personal favorite, so if you could pick only one I would tell you to try CCT. With that said, I benefited from and enjoyed every course mentioned here and compassion is a capacity that I don’t think you can overtrain. The real question isn’t which course you should choose, but which one you should try first.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Founder’s Note: I found Laura where I found a lot of other wonderful people I have nevermet in person: LinkedIn. She posted great content about compassion and so I connected with her. When she offered a CCT course this spring, I signed up even though it ended the week after I finished Mindful Self-Compassion training. I was a bit afraid I would be sick of compassion by that point, but Laura’s style of teaching was so real, practical, and filled with heart that I ended up being even more enthusiastic about it. Please welcome Laura to the pages of Brilliant Legal Mindand check out her bio below for information about another CCT courses she offers.
In late February 2020, I traveled to New York City for a compassion workshop. Having grown up in the New Jersey suburbs, it felt like coming home. The city’s sights, sounds, and smells were as familiar as my heartbeat and the first bite of a folded slice of pizza brought me right back to childhood. As people jostled on the subway and scrambled up the stairs that Saturday night, the coronavirus still seemed like news from the other side of the world. Thousands of bodies crowded around Times Square, oblivious to what was just around the corner. We could not have imagined how soon and suddenly our lives would change, and how much strength and courage we would need to summon in response.
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Whether or not we recognize it, we have all drawn on this compassion for ourselves and others to navigate the past turbulent months. And it is compassion, this awareness of suffering and willingness to relieve it, which will continue to resource us moving forward.
At the beginning of the pandemic, the poet Moya Cannon wrote:
Light is what days are made of –
it pulls the daffodils up out of dark earth,
prompts the eagle and the stub-tailed wren to nest
and draws the humpback whale north with its song.
Stones, warm on the morning sea-shore, know it.
Such tempests of grief our sun has scanned
yet light, the sun’s light and compassion’s light,
deep in every soul, eternally draws us on.
Recent discoveries in neurobiology and other sciences have begun to map out how “compassion’s light, deep in every soul” literally “draws us on” as it unfolds in our bodies. It is both an innate capacity which manifests as a specific physiological process and a skill that can be nurtured and strengthened through experience and deliberate practice and training. In addition, research shows that profound physical, mental, and social benefits result from offering and receiving compassion.
Author Bio: Laura Banks is honored to be a Certified Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) Instructor, dual-certified by Compassion Institute and Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE). While raising a family around the world, she has witnessed how meeting the challenges of life with compassion can greatly reduce suffering and transform the very things people thought would break them into the most resilient and beautiful parts of who they are. This powerful combination of evidence-based training and personal experience shape Laura’s commitment to strengthen her own and others’ capacity to thrive and find meaning throughout life, especially through the cultivation of compassion. You can learn more at www.lauralbanks.com or connect with Laura on LinkedIn.
Want to learn more about Compassion Cultivation Training? Check out this interview our founder, Claire E. Parsons, did with Laura here.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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Despite this, loving-kindness practice is one of the more difficult kinds for meditators in the West and especially lawyers to practice. Culturally, many Americans aren’t used to wishing themselves well. They may feel like they are being selfish or worry that the practice is sappy. Us skeptical lawyers who are trained in law school that we need to analyze problems without reference to our feelings may see the practice as a waste of time.
But it occurred to me that many of us are used to sending out nice cards for no real purpose every year. That’s what Valentine’s Day is all about. As kids in school, we didn’t just send those to sweethearts but to friends and classmates and usually even our teachers. I tried to avoid giving them to kids I didn’t like in my class but my mom wisely and firmly encouraged me not to be stingy.
So, I thought it might help to briefly explain loving-kindness practice to you in those terms. As the slideshow below indicates, loving-kindness practice is sort of like sending out Valentines from your mind and heart. The practice starts with you, then moves on to others, including a loved one, mentor (teacher, benefactor or supporter), a neutral person, and then difficult person. As you bring these people to mind, you offer them warm phrases, such as “may you be at peace, may you be happy, may you be safe, may you be at healthy.” If these phrases don’t work for you, you can select anything that does, such as “I hope you are healthy and safe.” If you are really struggling, you can even try “I hope you have a nice day.”
At the end of the practice, you move from individuals to groups, expanding from your family and friends, your community, and even the world. While this sounds very silly and highly ineffectual, it is amazing what happens when you experience it. During the practice, one is generally instructed to focus attention in the area of the heart and notice the feelings that arise there. I have done this practice many times and literally felt my heart expand and open. While it is true that wishing someone well doesn’t change anything on its own, warm sentiments towards someone can affect your behavior and research shows that they do when it comes to loving-kindness practice.
This practice can be uncomfortable at first, so don’t push or judge yourself if you feel resistance or don’t feel anything at all. The point is to cultivate warm feelings and let your heart grow, so give yourself time to let that happen. In addition, don’t stress about the individuals you select for practice. At first, pick easy ones. Select a loved one who is easy to love, a benefactor to whom you feel genuine gratitude, and don’t start with your sworn enemy (read: opposing counsel you can’t stand) as your first difficult person. Eventually, though, you may find that you can expand out to new people and broader classes of people.
Most meditation apps have loving-kindness practices, but they may call use words like “kindness”, “compassion” or even the traditional phrase “metta” to indicate them. Several of the meditations on our Resources page also feature loving-kindness type practices including the Body Breath Heart, Responding to Nasty Emails, Loving-Kindness for Business Networking, Calm Work Performance Anxiety meditations, and the meditations for Caregivers and Gratitude. In addition, my new book is structured to gradually teach the foundational skills including in loving-kindness practice.
Because the world right now could certainly use it, I hope you will give loving-kindness practice a try. And this Valentine’s Day, I wish that you all may be happy, healthy, safe, and at peace.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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