Five Ways Mindfulness Helped Me Write My First Novel

Image of typewriter generating letters on desk with notebook, pen, and glasses and title of blog post "Five Ways Mindfulness Helped Me Write My First Novel"

A funny thing happened over the last few years: I wrote a novel. This was never something I had intended to do. As a blogger, of course, I love writing. But as a lawyer, my focus is usually on the facts. I generally didn’t spend my time dreaming up stories.

But then one day, I noticed that I had dreamt up a story. I have a special place in my heart for A Christmas Carol. And I have attended a meditation retreat around the New Year several times. At some point, the two things merged a story about a lawyer who goes on retreat came to mind.

I didn’t quite know what to do with this idea at first or if I would do anything with it at all. Eventually, though, I sat down and let myself write. Then I decided that I liked what I had written well enough to keep working on it. Now, my plan is to publish this little novel by the holidays.

How did I go from nebulous idea to official project? As you may have guessed, mindfulness sure helped. Here are the five ways that mindfulness helped me write my first novel.

1. Mindfulness Helped Me Recognize the Idea.

It’s really hard to recognize a good idea or even be aware that you are having an idea in a crowded mind. Many lawyers try mindfulness with the notion that they will get a clear mind – one with few or at least fewer thoughts. After more than a decade of meditation practice, that hasn’t exactly been my experience.

My thoughts haven’t stopped coming. Far from it, they have continued on much like they did before. It’s just that, with a lot of meditation practice, my mind is much better at knowing which thoughts deserve my time and attention.

I don’t feed all the thoughts and give them energy now. This means that I have a lot more mental space. I can see individual thoughts more clearly. This leaves room for wisdom about which ones are significant.

When it comes to ideas, this really matters. New ideas don’t often yell at us and demand our attention. Instead, they often whisper. When the novel started coming to me, it was very subtle. I would get a flash of a scene that might last only a few minutes. After a few weeks, I realized that this was a pattern and I started to take note.

Without clear, nonjudgmental awareness, I would have easily missed these tiny moments of inspiration. Because my mindfulness practice had honed this trait, though, I was able to see it and let the idea emerge.

2. Mindfulness Practice Gave Me the Patience to Let the Novel Emerge.

As you may have noticed by now, this book has taken a long time to unfold. It began coming to me late in 2022 but I didn’t recognize it until the next year. I started writing it early in 2023, but then didn’t finish until the very end of 2024. In 2025, I thought about publishing but then got sidetracked by my hectic law practice and copious speaking engagements. Only now in 2026 did I decide once and for all that I was going to publish the novel.

My point should be obvious by now: writing takes time. You can’t force an idea to emerge. Creativity doesn’t flow when you exert too much control. After years of writing, I have learned that I have to let inspiration guide me. As a practicing lawyer and mom too, I have also learned that I have to pick my battles in terms of creative ventures.

If there is one thing that breath focus meditation will teach you, it is patience. There have been countless times when I wanted to quit meditating when I was tired or bored or just over it. I won’t lie. Sometimes I did quit. But many times, maybe most, I continued on. In the moment I didn’t always know why.

Now, I know why not quitting matters. All those times, I was practicing patience. I was practicing keeping an open heart and a calm mind when things took longer than I preferred. In the moment, I wasn’t sure my effort was worth it, but I am sure now. Patience is an essential trait for a writer and I am glad mindfulness practice helped me cultivate it.

Image listing the five ways that mindfulness helps with writing a novel as shared in the blog post

3. Meditation Gave Me Plenty of Experience Dealing with Doubt and Resistance.

If you are anything like me, the odds are that you will have an initial wave of pride after completing a new project. Soon enough, though, it may be followed by a wave of self-doubt and resistance. When I finished writing the novel, I had both.

Doubt definitely came up because I had never written fiction before. This was not unexpected. As I have written before, doubt is often strong for me. Any time I try something new, I have grown accustomed to looking for doubt to show up.

Normally, I can breeze right through it. But this doubt enlisted a friend: resistance. Do you ever have times when you just put things off? Or stubbornly refuse to do things you know you should? That’s resistance.

It can be a huge impediment to creative pursuits, like writing, and also moving forward in life. My resistance lied to me. It told me that I was too busy to focus on a novel. It worked with my doubt to convince me that nobody would read it anyway and continued effort would be a waste of time.

So, what did I do? Like in my meditation practice, I just kept paying attention. For a while, the doubt and resistance worked and the novel faded into the background. But when things calmed down in my life and law practice again, the novel came back to my mind. I realized that I cared about it enough to face the doubt and deal with the resistance. Because of my mindfulness practice, I knew that I could.

4. Mindfulness Taught Me Trust Myself, an Essential Trait for Writing a Novel.

I have written a few times before that mindfulness practice builds confidence. This isn’t in the brazen or brash kind of way. Instead, I think it comes from really knowing yourself. When you study yourself closely, you learn what works better for you and that helps you face life on your terms.

Writing is a deeply personal thing, even when the story you share is a made up one. Years of writing has helped me slowly build the courage to share my own story in this blog and elsewhere. It’s allowed me to see that I can be okay if nobody reads my writing or if people don’t react as I had hoped.

In part, this is because I often feel pride and joy in the act of writing and sharing itself. And, as a bonus, some people have read my writing and it has helped me make friends and build community.

Make no mistake. When you write, it is intimate and vulnerable. Because mindfulness helped me know myself so well, I developed good instincts about sharing. I learned I could trust myself and trust others too. That trust helped me see the book in terms of possibilities rather than fears.

5. Self-Compassion Helped Me Craft a Plan to Finish and Publish the Novel.

Did I mention that I have never written fiction before? So that means I was writing a novel without knowing how to write a novel. I was an English major in college but I have never so much as taken a creative writing course.

How did I let myself write a novel with no road map? Well, in a word, I used self-compassion, which may be the very best trait derived from my mindfulness practice. Years of writing has taught me that the first draft does not have to be good. Instead, it just needs to be out. I have to allow the messy mind dump so I can see what I have.

When I first read the draft, I needed self-compassion again. Rather than looking at it with an eagle eye, I paid attention to how I felt. I wasn’t looking for plot holes or typos. I was looking to see if I laughed or cried. Fortunately, I did both.

Finally, after languishing for more than a year, my last act of self-compassion was to enlist some help. I asked some friends to beta read the draft. I got some editing help. And I made a plan to get this project done this year. After all, haven’t I written before that success on long-term goals requires adequate support?

Now that I have some support, I have a real plan for publishing the novel in time for the holidays this year.

Image of an open book with the words "novel coming soon" and "stay tuned" and "Holidays 2026"

Mindfulness Helped Me Write My Book. What Could It Help You Do?

Mindfulness practice offers many wonderful benefits, including reduced stress, less rumination, improved health, and better relationships. I experienced all of those things. But when you hear about those benefits, you don’t always understand what it means in terms of a real life. As I shared in this post, all those wonderful traits from my mindfulness practice helped me pursue something I love: writing.

Most recently, it even helped me keep writing when a project I didn’t anticipate or ask for came up. My mindfulness practice helped me write my first novel. Now, I’d love to know, hear about, or see what mindfulness practice helps you do.


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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How Mindfulness Helped Me Discover My Word of the Year

Cover image for blog post about how mindfulness can help you identify a word for the new year

Last week, I wrote about how much I enjoy reflection around the turn of the year. This year, I am especially reflective because I am also about to start a role at a new firm. When identity is shifting, it is normal to consider the past and reevaluate goals for the future.

Many of my friends have been sharing their “words of the year” or “in and out lists” on social media. Though I enjoyed seeing my friends’ thoughts , I felt a bit at a loss about what to make of this for myself. How do I pick a word or theme of the year when I am heading into something new and have no idea what the future would hold?

Step 1: Start Where You Are.

As I do in many other things, I decided to start exactly where I was. Over the last few weeks, I have been struggling a bit. Though I am ecstatic about the new opportunity, I was struggling to feel excited. Of course, any new role is bound to inspire nerves, but that wasn’t my problem.

My struggle was letting go of the past. I kept thinking of the past year, the ways in which it was hard, and the mistakes I had made. As a perfectionist overthinker, it occurred to me that this struggle often resulted from my patterned thinking.

I attended an event this week where I finally gave voice to this feeling. The group was sharing our word or theme of the year and I announced during my turn that I needed help selecting a word. I said “what’s the word for getting rid of the good girl voice in your head? That’s my word.”

Image with quote about picking a word for the new year and the value of reflection through mindfulness

Step 2: Look for Clues about What You Need.

Condolences and commiseration was offered and ideas where shared, but a single word did not reveal itself to me. I then posed the same question in a post on LinkedIn. Some people offered funny comments that made me smile. A few offered words like “liberation”, “fearless” and “empowerment.”

Those are good words but they felt too heavy and could lead back into the striving and perfectionism with which I had been struggling. But a few people suggested that being a good girl isn’t a bad thing and wondered about a less aggressive way of approaching the problem.

That is a fair point. Sure, I get frustrated with my “good girl” voice a lot because she judges and pushes me hard. But she has led me to some good things, like founding this blog and writing two books for instance. Moreover, I have learned that sitting with some “undesirable” tendencies, like anger, is actually the best way to prevent them from causing harm.

Asking for Help Is Good but Stay Focused on What You Need

Is there a middle way when it comes to the “good girl” voice that causes me so much suffering? To answer this question, I put on my “mom” hat. I am the mom of two little girls. I know for a fact that they want to be good but they sometimes get ornery, fight, argue, and get mean and nasty. As a mom, I have learned that this often happens because they have a need that’s not being met.

What if I applied this idea to my “good girl” voice who had been very ornery as of late? What could it be that my “good girl” in my head needs but isn’t getting?

Another thing I have seen some of my friends do around the New Year is go to vision board classes. They clip out pictures from magazines and arrange the ones that speak to them on a big board to reveal their longings and aspirations.

I have done these with friends but the exercise didn’t mean a lot to me. Why? Well, I am not a visual thinker. Images don’t do it for me in general. I am, however, a very auditory thinker. Applying the vision board concept to sound, I considered the “Year in Review” playlist on my music app.

Image with tips from mindfulness for picking a word for the new year

Step 3: Nonjudgmentally Evaluate Your Clues

It included songs like “Float” by Janelle Monae, “Chvrch Girl” and “Cuff It” by Beyonce, “Bejeweled” by Taylor Swift, “Trustfall” by Pink, and all of the Barbie soundtrack. Does this sound like the playlist of a “good girl”? Or does it sound like the playlist of a girl who wants to have fun?

Bingo. And there we have it. The word of the year for 2024 is “fun.” I don’t need to get rid of the “good girl” at all. Instead, I need to let her have some fun.

Why did it take me so long to get there? It seems obvious in retrospect. Lawyers, including me, don’t always trust fun. We trust hard work, clarity, and discipline a lot more. For this reason, proclaiming “fun” the word of the year is like announcing you are taking an indefinite vacation.

Keep Things in Perspective

But let’s remember the context here. Picking a word of the year doesn’t mean you’ll only get the word you picked. Life is not that simple. Instead, I see it more as a guidepost. I know life will not only be fun in 2024. Even so, I can be on the lookout for life getting too tense and I can be creative about bringing in more fun.

In addition, recall that the thing that prompted me to think about this was the “good girl voice” who is so hardworking, highly motivated, and relentless that she drives me nuts. Given that she has taken up residence inside my brain, will a little bit of fun really cause me to shirk all effort and discipline?

Doubtful. What it might do, however, is help me remember the ways in which discipline, work, and pursuing goals can also be fun. It might also remind me how to look for fun even when things seem bleak and how to bring more fun into my community.

Conclusion

That’s how I figured out my word of the year. First, I took stock of where I was. Then I looked for clues about what I needed, including from my community. Finally, I nonjudgmentally evaluated to identify the single word that could help me rebalance in the new year.

Do you pick a word of the year or do any other kind of new year’s reflection? If you want to think about this more, check out the video from our past event “A Vision for the New Year and Guided Meditation”. Whether you do or not, I hope that you have a “good” and “fun” year in 2024.

Image asking what is your word of the year to prompt mindfulness and reflection

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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I’m Skeptical of Resolutions but Love New Year’s Reflections

Cover image for blog post about new year's resolutions v. reflections

This is the time of year when lots of people start New Year’s resolutions. At the same time, you are also bound to see a plethora of folks taking to social media to proclaim that resolutions are a scam.

I’m not big on resolutions, so I can understand the skepticism. You can’t just decide one day to be different. Instead, as we all know, it takes consistent action over time to make real change. But this realism, accurate though it may be, isn’t entirely complete.

As I have written about several times, Dry January is a part of my annual traditions. In years past, I have also successfully started or refreshed habits relating to nutrition, meditation, fitness, and personal hobbies in January.

January Is Arbitrary but Not Capricious.

Of course, January is an arbitrary time to start a habit. Anyone who watched their January resolve fade to oblivion by February knows this. Even so, other arbitrary deadlines have helped to motivate me too. As I shared last year, I set a goal to write my first book before my 40th birthday. I knew there was no reason that this had to happen but I got it done.

So I have to ask: is the impetus to set a resolution in January really so arbitrary? I don’t believe it is. Obviously, I’m aware that time is a construct and the calendar is a human creation. Though the month January and the concept of the new year may be somewhat made up, they signify something that is 100% real: the passage of time.

Resolutions are popular in January because the start of a new year is bound to prompt reflection on the past one. In that reflection, you may notice patterns in your behavior and consider ways of doing things better. And you may think about how quickly time passes and habits form, sometimes without our awareness, if we don’t take action to disrupt them.

A quote about the significance of the new year and why reflections are important

Reflections and Resolutions Aren’t the Same.

This is what has always been so motivating to me. As a lawyer who wears too many hats, it is certainly good advice to “pick your battles” in life and to consider your energy and appetite for change. At the same time, though, the question “if not now, when?” can be a hard to answer to yourself year after year about something that matters to you.

Over time, some of the healthy habits I started in new years past have lapsed, so I don’t claim to be a magician. But the fact that January helped me find motivation to return to good practices in the past gives me greater confidence that I can do it again.

So what does all of this mean for you? Am I telling you that resolutions are good or bad? Am I speaking out of both sides of my mouth?

New Year’s Reflections Can Help Us See Our Patterns.

My point here is that resolutions don’t work for many people for the simple reason that habit change can’t come from willpower and momentary motivation alone. New Year’s reflections, though, can help us see our habits and patterns and consider whether those patterns is helping us create the life we want.

As I have written before, I don’t believe in resolutions. Instead, I believe in small changes, gradual growth, consistent effort, and ample supports and self-compassion. With this approach, you don’t rely on early energy to carry you through to a goal. Instead, you count on that energy lapsing and create a plan for supporting yourself when that time comes.

While I appreciate the anti-perfectionist spirit inspiring many to castigate the pull to resolutions at the New Year, I think much of the rhetoric goes too far. Sure, as I have experienced, putting pressure on yourself in January to “improve” can be incredibly damaging, misguided, and ineffective.

An image with a quote about resolutions and reflections at the new year

Seeing Your Patterns Is Empowering.

On the other hand, reflecting on your past experience and seeing insights about how you can take better care of yourself in the new year is different. Reflecting is merely seeing the truth. When it comes to habits and personal patterns, the truth can be hard to see. The new year offers an opportunity to consider those habits and patterns over time and therefore provides a chance to think about where we are heading in the future.

When we get a glimpse of the truth about our patterns, we get a chance to choose something different. This can allow us greater agency in life and, in my experience, more happiness and peace.

For all of these reasons, I’m skeptical of New Year’s resolutions as much as anyone else. But I proudly say that I love New Year’s reflections. They have served me well in the past and have helped me create a better future for myself. Whether you are resolving, reflecting, or just being this January, I hope you have a wonderful 2024.

Want Some Help for Your Reflections?

If you are interested in doing some New Year’s reflection, check out our Resources page. The Meditation Habit Worksheet and the Pause and Begin Again e-book may help you start or refresh your meditation practice. The Personal Well-Being Worksheet is designed to help you consider personal practices to support your well-being. If you need some community to support yourself in 2024, check out our Events page with new (and free) guided meditation events.


Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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