Author Archives: Claire E. Parsons

Claire E. Parsons is Of Counsel at Bricker Graydon LLP in Cincinnati, Ohio. She has practiced for the last fifteen years in the areas of litigation, employment, local government law. Claire is an active leader in her community and in the legal profession. She has led innovative charitable programs in her community, statewide legal organizations, committees relating to the promotion of women professionals. Claire is also a frequent writer and speaker for these and other organizations. She has published and spoken about numerous topics, ranging from complex legal issues, to law practice, networking and marketing, as well as mindfulness and wellness for lawyers and other professionals. She writes regularly on LinkedIn and even co-authored a book this year with 19 other women lawyers about how they used the platform to network and pursue career goals during the pandemic. In 2013, Claire began a mindfulness practice early in her law career and as she was learning to be a new mom to her eldest daughter, Sophie. When Claire began the practice, she saw it gradually transform her life for the better by helping her to reduce overthinking, manage stress, and infuse compassion practices into her daily life. Over the next few years, she continued to study mindfulness practices and attend retreats. In 2018, Claire began speaking and writing on these topics and she quickly became regarded as a resource for professionals as someone who can explain meditation practices in an approachable and practical way. She has completed more than 1000 hours of training to teach mindfulness and compassion, including meditation and a variety of other mind-body practices, including yoga, pranayama, and somatic healing. Claire has also authored two books, How to Be a Badass Lawyer and Mommy Needs a Minute. You can learn more and connect with her through the blog or on LinkedIn.

Mindfulness vs. Ego: Finding Balance in a Digital World

Image of pawns with social media graphics with title "Mindfulness v. Ego: Finding Balance in a Digital World"

I spoke to a group of new law students this week and someone asked the best question about mindfulness and ego. I loved it because it showed a lot of courage and insight. The student asked me if mindfulness practice and blogging or social media are at odds because they contribute to ego.

The short answer I gave him is that this certainly can be a problem but it doesn’t have to be. I explained that anyone who writes or uses social media must learn some skills with managing their ego. And I explained how mindfulness practice can help with that.

After leaving the session, though, the question was still in my mind. It pointed to some fundamental questions about mindfulness and ego that I thought others might be asking. So in this post, I will explore mindfulness and ego a bit more deeply.

What Is the Ego?

Many of us use the word “ego” in conversation but we may not take the time to define the term. A common dictionary definition is “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” Most of us wouldn’t argue that a healthy sense of self-esteem is a good thing.

But when I hear the phrase “ego” uttered, it usually has a pejorative connotation. This is because, as most lawyers have observed, it is very easy to get an inflated sense of self-importance. In fact, our hyper-individualistic culture can contribute to this.

This is why it may be helpful to look at the psychological and clinical meaning of the ego. The Cleveland Clinic explains that it is the “part of your personality that helps you make practical, rational decisions.” It also supports your ability to:

adapt to your environment;
regulate your emotions; and
feel like yourself.

Viewed in this more neutral light, you can see that ego is a part of the human psyche that may serve an important function.

Image of dictionary definition of ego as stated in the post which is "a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance"

You Need a Healthy Sense of Self-Esteem

Given this, it would be a misunderstanding in my opinion to say that the goal of mindfulness practice is to overcome or eliminate the ego. In truth, as I have written before, I would be cautious about setting any specific goal for mindfulness practice at all.

Intention can be a wonderful guiding force to help motivate practice. Goals, however, often add a level of expectation that can undermine the cultivation of mindfulness.

In addition, high achievers like lawyers are encouraged to be cautious about pushing themselves too hard when it comes to self-improvement. If you are anything like me, you may need to learn to be kinder to yourself in meditation rather than more disciplined.

Along the same lines, some people may benefit from a more robust sense of self rather than a diminished one. This can include people with particular sensitivities, including histories of trauma or neurodivergence.

But It Helps to Get Clear about Your Life

With that said, mindfulness practices can help you explore the role of ego in your own life. As I have explained before, mindfulness practices are likely to help you explore the very concept of the self. Practicing mindfulness can help you see that “the self” to which you have grown accustomed is not a stable or static thing at all.

Taking time in your day to be present with your thoughts and feelings can give you an opportunity to become aware of patterns in your life. This can give you greater ability to notice, check, or even change some patterns that may not be ideal for you. It may also help you see the ways in which you are not separate from, but instead integrally connected with, others.

In many cases, you are bound to find (much like I have) that the ego is a present driving force in life. You may notice when a need to feel important or especially loved or better than others pushes you in ways that are not wholesome for you or other people. And even better, you may see ways that you can take care of your feelings and find greater connection with others in your life.

In all of these ways, mindfulness can help you understand yourself better, including the role of ego in your life. It can help you become clearer about your place in the world, so that you can navigate relationships more ethically. This can be a truly wonderful and life-changing part of the practice, but it is important to balance this inquiry with self-compassion.

Image of blog post author Claire E. Parsons with quote "Mindfulness practice doesn't mean we have to drop out of the world. It doesn't mean we can't pursue goals or things we love. It doesn't mean we have to change who we are."

Mindfulness, Ego, and Social Media

Given this clearer understanding, I want to return to the law student’s question to illustrate the concepts more clearly. The student asked whether things like blogging and social media are contrary to mindfulness practice because they can contribute to ego.

The operative word in this question is “can”. Most of us know that social media can certainly contribute to one’s sense of self-importance. We know that, depending on how it is used, social media is also associated with adverse mental health consequences and sometimes abhorrent conduct. Even if you aren’t a blogger, you may see how that can have the same effect. But I will say from experience that those things aren’t universally true.

For some people, blogging and social media might lead to unhealthy states of mind, like social comparison or perfectionism. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that those struggles sometimes happened for me. But I have learned to recognize when a striving attitude is taking hold and to give myself a break. I have adopted an attitude of fun and play when it comes to writing and the use of social media. I’ve also let go of expectations. If I have a goal, it is to share ideas and connect with others.

And in truth, I have had to learn how to navigate the negative aspects of social media too. I have had to learn how to not fight with strangers on the internet. I have hard to learn to state my opinions with humility and respect for the viewpoints of others.

In addition, I will be honest that blogging and social media have inspired a lot of humility in me. I have written so many things that never get read. I have had times where people criticize my writing. I have faced imposter syndrome so many times when I see talented people who do things better than me. In all these ways, blogging and social media have provided at least as many checks on my ego as they have provided temptations for it.

What Does This Tell Us about Mindfulness, Ego, and Pursuing Goals?

The big conclusion from all of this that most lawyers will care about is that I don’t think mindfulness practice means we have to get rid of our egos. Mindfulness practice doesn’t mean we have to drop out of the world. It doesn’t mean we can’t pursue goals or things we love. It doesn’t mean we have to change who we are.

Instead, mindfulness practice is really more about understanding ourselves more clearly so that we can engage in the world with greater kindness and skill. In this way, mindfulness practice is not inherently antithetical to the use of social media or to creating a robust body of work in the world.

The caveat here is that, of course, mindfulness practice should inspire you to watch the way you go about pursuing goals and crafting your body of work. It should cause you, at every turn, to consider the impact of these things on you as well as on the community around you.

If you practice mindfulness long enough, you inevitably will question yourself at times just like the law student questioned me. This part of the practice can sometimes be a gut check – or maybe an ego check – but it is one that has changed my life. And it is one that helps me stay honest on this blog and when I use social media. If you learn to make space for questions like these in your own mindfulness practice, they can change your life too.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Tips for Lawyers: Manage Stress Getting Back to School

As a school lawyer, I normally love back to school season. This year, though, I am struggling. The summer was busier than I expected and the back to school rush at work happened earlier too. This means that I am feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stressed.

What is a lawyer and meditation teacher to do with this situation? Well, I don’t promise to be an expert here. This struggle is real for many of us for a reason. But I can say that a few intentional strategies have helped me establish order and get ready for back to school.

Manage the Biggest Stress Points First

When things get very busy, I narrow the scope of my focus. My guiding principle is to do now what has to be done today. Clearly, this is not a sustainable approach on a long-term basis. Living day to day has some advantages, but so does planning ahead.

Even so, focusing on what has to be done right now is an essential strategy for regaining order in times of chaos. It can help you build some momentum for managing the challenges of life. It can also help you avoid other problems that may emerge later if you don’t tackle priorities first.

Thus, when your schedule is too busy or life is in flux, a first essential step is identifying prioriy tasks and addressing those first.

Simplify and, If Possible, Delegate

After you have triaged the priority issues, another step for reestablishing order is to simplify whatever you can. Remove unnecessary steps or flourishes from projects. Look for easier ways to accomplish tasks. Delegate or get help in any way that you can.

Many lawyers tend to be high achievers. This means that we often do more than what the circumstances truly require. When time allows, this is not a terrible life strategy to adopt. But in times of stress or change, it can add work and sap energy that you do not have. Simplifying tasks and focusing on what is truly essential can help you avoid this trap.

As a quick example of this, I used this strategy to handle some of the back to school chores for my kids. They had a doctor’s appointment and needed new shoes. Instead of going to my favorite shoe store, I went to one very close to the doctor’s office. This allowed me to consolidate travel time, so the kids could get new shoes and I could get the job done.

When time is limited, don’t make extra work for yourself. Simplify tasks as much as possible.

Image of post it note with question "How could I make this simpler?" as discussed in the blog post about back to school

Prioritize Healthy Habits

When times are busy or stressful, healthy and supportive habits are often the first things to suffer. Even though most of us know what is good for us, disarray in one’s schedule can make it harder to eat, sleep, and exercise like we should. These habits, though, can have an immediate beneficial impact on how we feel mentally and physically.

For this reason, when my schedule is in flux, I often prioritize the basics. I try to refresh my sleep hygiene protocols and get a regular schedule back in place. I make sure I have some healthy ingredients on hand so that I can eat nutrient-dense meals to power my days. Even though it can be a struggle, I get back to my normal meditation and exercise routine too.

Let me be clear. All of these things take time and energy to manage. Despite this, I prioritize them in times of change or stress because I know they are priorities. These habits help me feel my best and manage stress, so that I can face whatever I need to face in my daily life. In addition, because these practices are part of my normal routine, returning to them helps me create a sense of normalcy and order.

Conclusion

Back to school time can be a fun and exciting time. For many lawyers, though, it is also a stressful time. It’s a time of change and extra work to transition to a new phase in life. With some intentionality, though, you can manage the time crunch, stress, and extra work. I hope these tips help you regain some control and establish a new order that will help you and your family thrive this school year.

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Four Easy Ways to Add Movement to Meditation

I have been traveling a lot this summer, so movement is on my mind. One of the common issues many people new to meditation ask me about is moving. Some people worry that they can’t meditate because they can’t sit still. One easy answer to this question is the reminder that you don’t have to sit still to meditate.

Though movement is discouraged during sitting meditation, it’s not because movement is bad. Instead, movement is discouraged to encourage its opposite: stillness. In this way, it is sometimes wise to move a bit to scratch an itch or adjust your posture.

In addition, mindfulness can be cultivated with intentional movement practices too. Anyone who does yoga, tai chi, or qigong regularly knows that movement can support a calming of the mind. The same is true for movement during sitting meditation itself. Here are five simple ways to incorporate movement into your meditation practice.

1. Use an Object to Track Breath

Breath focus is one of the most common and practical styles of meditation. Though this style is seemingly simple, there are many ways to follow the breath. Many people count the breaths or cycles of breath internally by, for instance, counting on each inhale.

A. Breathing with Beads

Some of us, myself included, tend to get lost in all the counting and may have an easier time tracking a physical object. I do this with a string of beads. There are traditional and formal ways to use beads for meditation but I am more flexible. I let each bead represent a full cycle and advance to the next bead on the space between breaths.

B. Pop It Practice

After I started using beads in this way, I realized that I could do the same thing with one of my kid’s Pop It toys. I inhale, exhale, and pop one of the buttons. When one side is fully popped, I flip to the next side and start again. Now I keep a Pop It on my keychain so that I can meditate for a minute or two whenever and wherever I need it.

2. Sync Hand Movement with Breath

If you don’t have beads or another object, you can still bring some small movements into practice with your hands. As I have shared before, syncing breath and movement is a great way to calm the mind and cultivate mindful presence.

A. Finger Practice

One practice I really like is finger meditation. With this practice, you run your finger along the edge of your opposite hand while breathing. Starting with your thumb, run your finger up to the tip while inhaling, and then run your finger down the inside of your thumb while exhaling. Continue with this pattern until you get to your pinky as shown in the image. Then you can switch to the other hand.

Image demonstrating flow of finger meditation as explained in the blog post

B. Breathing with Hand Movement

Another similar option is to raise and lower your hands or extend and clench your fists while you breathe. I prefer to inhale and raise or extend my hands and exhale and lower or clench my palms. You can try this practice out for a few rounds of breath and see what feels most supportive to you.

While these aren’t practices I use every day, they come in handy during times when my mind is very active or strong emotions are present.

3. Walking Meditation

As I have written before, walking meditation is always an option. It’s a good option to explore, too, if you ever plan on trying a retreat. Walking meditation is often used during retreats as a break from sitting meditation. Thus, if you want some movement while cultivating mindfulness, walking meditation can be supportive.

Another great advantage of walking meditation is that it helps you bring mindfulness into your life. Because the practice is done during movement, it helps you strengthen the trait of mindfulness during your normal daily activities.

4. Standing Figure 8 Movement Practice

Even if you have an established sitting meditation practice, you may eventually need to try standing meditation. If you practice sitting meditation long enough, you will eventually encounter sleepiness or mental dullness. Standing meditation is a practical way to wake up and energize yourself while continuing mindfulness practice.

Figure 8 meditation is a wonderful way to add some movement to your standing practice. With this practice, as indicated in the image, you move in a figure 8 motion while standing by subtly shifting your weight along the borders of your feet in a swaying motion.

Image showing figure 8 standing meditation as explained in blog post

Anyone who has rocked a baby or a small pet understands why this practice is great. Rocking and swaying are soothing to our nervous systems. This gentle motion can help us to soothe ourselves and help us relax quickly. The good news is that this practice can be done however you like. Add a bit more movement of the hips and hands if you wish to dance. Keep it small if you are waiting in line at the grocery store and don’t want to be noticed.

Conclusion: Add Some Movement to Your Meditation

Sitting in stillness during meditation is a wonderful way to cultivate patience, calm, and equanimity. But it isn’t the only way. Mindfulness can be cultivate with movement and meditation can be practiced in any posture. This posts offers just a few ideas for incorporating movement into your meditation practice. These practices can be incorporated into your regular meditation sessions or done quickly on the go.

To learn more about the movement practices discussed in this post, check out the Coping Strategies Ebook. This free download has more explanation and demonstration of several practices for finding steadiness in stressful times.

If you want to try a traditional meditation practice that incorporates a visualization of movement, check out my rocking chair meditation. This is a traditional breath focus practice but it uses the image of a rocking chair to help you rest and relax with the movements of the breath.

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What Is MBCT? An Interview with a Mindfulness Expert

Back in May, I met Sophie Lazarus, PhD when I was about to start a seven-day meditation retreat. It started out as a simple conversation about our mindfulness practices. When the topic of work came up, I realized I had met an expert on mindfulness-based cognitive therapy.

As you will learn if you keep reading, MBCT is a treatment program rooted in mindfulness that can help people who have experienced anxiety and depression. It’s not as well-known in the United States as other programs, like mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) so I asked Dr. Lazarus to explain more here. Read on to learn more about the program and for other helpful resources.

Q: Tell me about yourself and your work as it relates to mindfulness-based cognitive therapy?

I live and work in Columbus, Ohio, though I am originally from the East Coast. Outside of work, I love reading, spending time in nature, traveling, and connecting with friends and family.

My journey with mindfulness began in 2009 during graduate school and deepened in 2014 when I started practicing in the insight meditation tradition. I’m a clinical psychologist and currently serve as an Associate Professor at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. I lead the Mindfulness-Based Programs for Resilience and Well-Being and am a faculty member within our Depression Recovery Center.

In my role, I develop programs, conduct research on MBCT and other treatments for depression, supervise and train PhD students, and provide care for individuals experiencing mood and anxiety disorders. I trained as an MBCT teacher through UC San Diego in 2018 and have since expanded my training to include MBCT-L (Mindfulness for Life) and workplace mindfulness through the Oxford Mindfulness Foundation. I’m also the author of Mindfulness Meditations for Depression: Practices for Cultivating Self-Compassion and Insight.

Q: What is Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) is an eight-week, group-based intervention designed for individuals who experience recurrent depression, anxiety, or chronic unhappiness. It integrates cognitive therapy techniques with mindfulness practices to help people become more aware of the thought patterns and habits that contribute to emotional distress.

By cultivating this awareness, participants learn to relate to their experiences with greater kindness and wisdom, supporting long-term well-being. MBCT is best suited for individuals who are not currently in the midst of a severe depressive or anxious episode and are ready to focus on relapse prevention and staying well.

Q: How does MBCT compare to other kinds of mindfulness programs like MBSR?

MBCT was originally modeled after Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), but tailored specifically for individuals dealing with depression and anxiety. Researchers recognized that while existing treatments were effective, many people still experienced relapse. Mindfulness offered a promising approach to address this specific vulnerability.

MBCT incorporates core elements of MBSR but adds specific practices and psychoeducation to help participants understand the nature of depression and anxiety. It teaches skills to work wisely with the mental habits—such as rumination and avoidance—that often accompany these conditions.

Image with quote from blog post explaining what mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is

Q: Does MBCT offer any specific advantages for lawyers or other professionals?

Absolutely. MBCT can be particularly beneficial for conscientious, high-achieving professionals—such as lawyers—who often operate with high standards, perfectionism, and self-critical thinking. While these traits can drive success, they may also make it harder to cope with internal challenges like disappointment or loss, especially when those experiences can’t be “solved” in the usual way.

MBCT helps individuals recognize these patterns and develop a more compassionate and balanced way of relating to themselves, which can be transformative both personally and professionally.

Q: What are you most excited for people to know about MBCT?

MBCT is backed by strong research evidence that has accumulated over many years. It significantly reduces the risk of relapse in depression and is included in national treatment guidelines in both the UK and the U.S. (APA). Given the profound impact of depression on individuals, families, and society, I’m passionate about making MBCT more widely available to those who could benefit.

Q: How can people interested in mindfulness learn more about MBCT or access the program?

We offer MBCT through the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at Ohio State. Groups are available both in-person and virtually, making them accessible to anyone in Ohio—and in other PSYPACT-participating states. To learn more or register for MBCT and other mindfulness-based programs for resilience and well-being, visit our website.

You can also find trusted MBCT providers internationally through this directory.

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Understanding Perfectionism: Lessons from Season 4 of The Bear

Spoiler Alert: Read with caution if you haven’t finished watching Season 4 of The Bear yet. There are a few references to the end of season that some might consider spoilers.

“Mistakes.”

When I heard this word uttered in the latest season of The Bear, it cut like a knife. This single word accentuated the theme for the season: perfectionism. Carmy, the head chef and lead of the show, said it when his colleague and sometimes screaming match partner, Richie, asked him what he was thinking about after a grueling night at the restaurant.

With only a word, Carmy let all the perfectionists watching know exactly what he was experiencing. He was ruminating over his past failures. They were swirling in his mind. It’s fair to imagine they had been with him that entire day, screaming in his ear while he was trying to live his life. Fans of The Bear also immediately knew that they had been with Carmy a lot longer than that.

Perfectionism Can Be a Mistake

The surprising thing that you come to see later is that one of the mistakes that Carmy had to have been thinking about was perfectionism. In the episodes that follow this tepid bath of negative thoughts and self-recrimination, Carmy makes some positive steps forward. He scales back on his overly ambitious strategies. He eases up on his colleagues, Syndey and Marcus, enough to see that they have become masterful chefs. And he even apologizes to his girlfriend months after a panic attack caused him to flee the relationship and ghost her.

As I watched the season, I couldn’t help but see it as a mirror for my own life. I joked with my husband that watching this season in college would have saved me a whole lot of heartache over the years. Just like Carmy, perfectionism was never something I chose but it continues to be something exceptionally hard for me to stop. As the show illustrates, some of us are incentivized for our efforts to be perfect. This makes it very hard to see that perfectionism has its downsides too.

The Downsides of Perfectionism

Season 4 of The Bear shows us these downsides. It shows us how Carmy can’t enjoy success or relax with peace. It shows us how perfectionism can erode the relationships around us and wear down the people we love. It shows us that good results are a double-edged sword for perfectionists.

We may feel good for a moment, but as soon as that moment fades, we are thinking, often unconsciously, of how we can raise the bar higher. When that bar gets too high, and it always does, we crash and feel like failures. This can cause us to turn what we love into a grind, so that even the things we are good at suddenly feel hard.

The Bear Is a Realistic Depiction of Perfectionism

If you are thinking that I am telling you that Season 4 of The Bear is painful to watch, you are right. It was painful for me to watch, but only because it was so painfully true. I knew how easy it is to absorb perfectionism even if no person in your life consciously pushed it on you.

Even if we come from a loving family, the desire to be good and create something good can get twisted by what we miss or maybe by what we see too much in childhood. By the time we get out of school, our tendency to be organized, conscientious, and high performing helps us excel in demanding and intense professions.

And before we know it, we start to emulate the very behaviors we told ourselves we never would. We do this all with the noblest of intentions. We want to make something better, more decent, and gentler than we have ever had. It’s just that we never learned the skills to build this peaceful life we want.

The Good News for the Perfectionists Out There

It absolutely hurt to watch Season 4 of The Bear and to relive all the ways I have hurt myself and others in the process. The good news, for me and for all the perfectionists out there, is that the season has some light at the end of the tunnel. By the end of the season, Carmy has stopped thinking so obsessively about all his mistakes. He starts instead to face them and tries to learn how to avoid repeating them. He stops isolating himself. He gets out of his head. He leans on his friends and admits how he feels.

By the end of the season, Carmy is not fully self-actualized. It is a TV show after all and TV shows about peaceful people who have things figured out would probably not get very good ratings, let alone a slew of Emmy awards. Instead, the season ends with you questioning whether Carmy is once again running from goodness by threatening to leave the restaurant he founded and all the people there he loves. It may turn out that Carmy makes yet another huge mistake.

Mistakes Happen to Us All, Perfectionists Included

And you know what? He probably will. And so will I. I don’t know you, but I bet you will too if you are a perfectionist. Because perfectionism doesn’t leave us easily and for some of us it may never leave entirely. I’ll have to wait for Season 5 to know how it turns out for Carmy, just like I must wait for retrospection to arrive to know if my life choices were really the product of perfectionism. I’m going to keep rooting for Carmy, though, and hope he can learn that mediocrity is sometimes amazing, flaws are opportunities for connection, and you can learn to be okay with peace.

Until then, if you find yourself sitting at a table somewhere with only mistakes rolling around in your head, I hope a friend comes up and asks you what you are thinking about. I hope even more that you do what Carmy did and tell the truth even if all you can muster is a single word.

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Mindfulness and Business Development for Lawyers

Most of the time, when people talk about mindfulness and law practice they talk about the stress of dealing with our cases. This is true for me, but one additional stressor for many lawyers is business development.

Over the years, I have come to enjoy business development. Now, I think it’s fun.

Some Lawyers Struggle with Business Development

Years ago, though, I really struggled networking and business development. I was convinced I couldn’t do it because I was an introvert and not a natural salesperson. Mindfulness practice has helped me make peace with business development, largely because it helped me make peace with myself.

I got to talk about this journey on a new episode of the BE THAT LAWYER podcast with Steve Fretzin. Steve if a business development coach and consultant. He helps lawyers make the whole process less painful and more effective.

About the Podcast and Episode

On his podcast and in his latest book, he shares the stories of lawyers who have found success with business development. If business development makes you nervous, if you worry about losing your soul or feeling inauthentic trying to sell, Steve is a good person to listen to and this episode is for you.

Ultimately, I think business development is about building relationships and offering value to the your community. I think this idea comes through well in the episode. It also shares some insights about how mindfulness practices can support it.

How Can Mindfulness Help with Business Development?

As Steve and I discuss in interview, mindfulness practices can support business development in a number of ways.

It can help you identify and regularly reconnect with you values so you can live them in your business development efforts;
They can help you cultivate tools for managing stress as it arises in your body, heart, and mind;
It can help you cultivate self-compassion which is essential for actualizing any long-term goal;
It can help you let go of limiting thoughts and beliefs; and
It can help you manage the mental and physical toll of handling additional work on top of law practice.

Where to Find the Podcast Episode

If you want to learn more about mindfulness and business development for lawyers, check out the interview. Here are several options for how you can do.

You can listen to the Be That Lawyer podcast here: Website | Apple Podcasts | Spotify.

You can also watch the episode on YouTube here:

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Balance Isn’t What You Add—It’s What You Live By

Everyone thinks they’ll find balance after. After the LSAT. After admissions. After 1L. After biglaw. After they’ve proven something.

But that’s not how this works.

Balance isn’t the thing you reward yourself with once the chaos is over. Balance is the thing that prevents the chaos from defining you in the first place.

And if you don’t build around it from day one, you don’t “lose” balance. You forget what it ever felt like. You start confusing urgency for importance, burnout for ambition, and ego management for purpose.

Law Will Eat Whatever You Feed It.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: law has no off switch.

It doesn’t say “thanks, that’s enough.” It takes whatever you give it—your time, your identity, your weekends, your inner monologue—and then
it asks for more.

And in the beginning, that won’t bother you. Because you’ll feel focused. Serious. In control. Like you’re becoming the kind of person who “gets things done.”

But fast-forward six months, or six years, and you’ll find yourself living in a schedule that you didn’t design, speaking in a tone you didn’t choose, and wondering when exactly you started measuring your worth by output.

By then, it won’t feel like a choice. Because the system will have made itself feel inevitable.

Work-Life Balance Is a Lie. Try Life-Work Clarity.

“Work-life balance” suggests that work comes first—and you try to squeeze life around the edges. That’s the default framing in this profession. It’s the water everyone’s swimming in.

But if you keep that frame, you lose the plot. You end up designing your life around a job that was never meant to be your identity.

Let me be blunt:
Law school is not your life.
Being a lawyer is not your life.

Your rank, your GPA, your offer letter—they’re not your center. They’re orbiting objects. And if you confuse them for your anchor, you will drift.

What I teach my students—whether they’re writing a personal statement or rethinking their entire path—is this: your life is the primary text. Everything else is just annotation.

Image with quote from post that says "Balance isn't what you escape to. It's what prevents the chaos from defining you."

Your Nervous System Will Outlast Your Resume

You can get into a T14 by white-knuckling your way through the LSAT.
You can get biglaw by sacrificing your body to the job. You can impress professors, mentors, hiring committees—by bending yourself into whatever shape they expect.

But eventually, the bill comes due. In your joints. Your breath. Your friendships. The way you sleep. The way you speak to yourself when no
one’s around.

And no job title is worth that. Balance isn’t luxury. It’s protection.

It’s not about spa days or Sundays off. It’s about building a rhythm that doesn’t collapse when the pressure spikes. It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t need to “escape” their own life to feel okay.

Design the Balance Before the System Designs You

You need a structure that protects your time before law school starts—not after. You need to know what hours are yours. What thoughts are yours. What parts of your identity aren’t up for negotiation.

You need:

Mornings that belong to you, not your inbox.
A body that isn’t treated like a taxi for your brain.
Relationships that don’t just tolerate your goals—but remind you who you were before them.

If you don’t set that rhythm early, the default will become your design. And once you’ve built your ego on that design, it’s much harder to undo.

Final Truth: Law Doesn’t Deserve Your Life. You Do.

You don’t get extra credit for martyrdom. You don’t get a medal for disappearing into the system. You get a life—or you don’t.
Law can be a meaningful part of that life.

But only if you’re still in the driver’s seat. Only if balance isn’t an afterthought, but the foundation.

You are not here to survive law school. You’re here to live a life you’re proud of—one that law fits into, not one it consumes. The time to start thinking about that is now.

Author bio: Moshe Indig is the founder of Sharper Statements, a premier law school admissions consulting firm known for its depth, strategy, and results. A former litigator, Moshe helps aspiring lawyers craft powerful
narratives that reflect both who they are and where they’re headed—without sacrificing voice, clarity, or balance. Drawing from years of experience inside and outside the legal system, he teaches applicants to
center precision and authenticity in every part of the process. Read more at sharperstatements.com.

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Mindfulness Events for Lawyers This Summer

Summer tends to be a slower time for me as a lawyer. As a mindfulness teacher, though, my summer is pretty exciting. I am thrilled to have to wonderful events regarding mindfulness for lawyers coming this July.

Keep reading to learn the details for both and find ways to participate.

Anger Management CLE for Lawyers in Pennsylvania

Image with details of CLE entitled "Understanding Anger: Mindfulness Strategies for Lawyers" which is discussed in the post

On July 16th at 10 AM, I will be offering a virtual CLE for the Pennsylvania Bar Institute on anger management for lawyers. Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help lawyers manage and care for our emotions. Anger is no exception.

As I have written before, mindfulness practices can help lawyers and others to understand and navigate anger better. This is an essential skill for lawyers who frequently encounter anger, in themselves and others, in our cases.

This webinar is available virtually through the Pennsylvania Bar Institute but CLE credit may be available in other states as well. You can watch on-demand here.

Mindfulness in Law Society Retreat and Conference

Image sharing details of the Mindfulness in Law Society Virtual Retreat

The following week, I am flying out to San Francisco to hang out with some of my friends at the Mindfulness in Law Society. I will be speaking at and attending the 2025 Mindfulness in Law Society Conference and Retreat in San Francisco.

This is a wonderful opportunity to participate in and build community with other lawyers who practice mindfulness. The first day will include a conference and CLE presentations at the University of San Francisco. I will be participating in a panel discussion during the conference regarding mindfulness in law practice.

The second day will include a retreat at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Spirit Rock is a beautiful facility founded by some of the most well-known meditation teachers in the United States. This day will be an opportunity to practice mindfulness with other lawyers in community.

To participate, register for both the conference and retreat separately at the links provided above.

This Will Be a Great Summer for Mindfulness in Law

I hope to see you or maybe even meet you at these events. If you cannot attend, the MILS Virtual Sits happen twice a week and are another great option for lawyers and others in the legal profession. Keep checking my events page for more opportunities to practice and learn about mindfulness.

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Why Self-Compassion Is Key to Managing Anger

Whenever I get the chance, I talk about self-compassion. It is one of the biggest and most beneficial changes I have made over the course of my life. As a lawyer, it is essential to help me manage the stresses and challenges of law practice. The other day, though, a friend reminded me of yet another reason. Self-compassion can help with anger.

I teach about self-compassion all the time, but it was honestly nice to be reminded of this fact. For one thing, it was good timing because I am preparing to present a CLE on anger management for lawyers. In addition, self-compassion is not always easy to practice, so it was nice to remember yet another benefit of this trait.

The Relationship Between Self-Compassion and Anger

The friend who told me about the positive impact self-compassion can have on anger is another mindfulness teacher. I didn’t doubt her memory, but I wanted to confirm for myself. As a result, I visited researcher, Kristin Neff’s, website to see what I could find.

In a quick search, I found at least 3 studies that confirmed that self-compassion indeed had an impact on anger. These included the following studies showing that:

These are just a few examples, but all of these studies reveal that my friend was right. Indeed, self-compassion has an impact on anger and how we process it.

How Are Self-Compassion and Anger Related?

If you read any of the studies above, you may get some insights about the way that self-compassion can help us navigate and let go of anger. As a mindfulness teacher and someone who has historically struggled with anger, I have seen exactly how the two things are related.

Here are just a few ways that I believe self-compassion has helped me to be a less angry person.

I practice anger and judgment less. This means I disrupt the habitual anger reaction. Instead, I have replaced it (most of the time) with remembering common humanity.
I allow my feelings more and block them less. It took years but quite literally I have learned to let myself feel my emotions. This has created clarity about what matters and what doesn’t.
I focus more on honoring my own needs. When I meet my needs more, I feel better and don’t feel angry as much.
I accept my own limitations with more kindness. Constantly striving for perfection creates a lot of frustration. Wisdom around personal limits helps avoid this.
All of these things help me see others with kinder and gentler eyes. When I accept how I feel and what I need, I remember more often the humanity of other people.

Image showing 3 examples of research-proven benefits of self-compassion in relation to anger

Why Should Lawyers and Professionals or Anyone Else Care?

This one is obvious to most lawyers. Anger is a constant and frequent threat for us, just like it is for many business professionals. Our jobs often entail stress, time constraints, and conflict. This is a breeding ground for anger in and of itself.

In addition, as I have written before, anger and judgment are strongly correlated. Nothing will create an anger reaction more than the perception that someone has broken the rules or invaded a personal boundary. This kind of analysis is a lawyer’s stock and trade. To some degree, this means that many lawyers and other professionals practice anger every day at work.

As a result, the fact that self-compassion can help us manage or reduce anger may be a lifeline that many lawyers need. Even though anger sometimes feels good, it is volatile and can easily lead to bad results at work. It can lead to even more dire health consequences, including adverse impacts on our sleep as well as cardiac, immune, and digestive systems.

Easy Ways to Begin Exploring Self-Compassion Even If You Are Unsure about It

Despite the promising research, many people remain skeptical or unsure about cultivating self-compassion. Even though research exists to the contrary, they may be concerned that self-compassion will make them weak. In addition, they may be concerned that they can never change, even though countless studies demonstrate that self-compassion can be cultivated.

If this is you, I encourage you to first be self-compassionate towards yourself by not pushing too far. You don’t have to change your mind right away. All of those fears are normal and besides change takes time.

If you want to explore self-compassion more deeply, including to help you manage anger, I hope this list of resources will help:

If You Want to Be Angry Less, Try Self-Compassion

Anger is a human emotion that happens to us all. Though we should not strive to never be angry in life, many lawyers and professionals may need help managing it. If you have a busy, stressful, or conflict-heavy job, you may need to pay extra attention to the role that anger plays in your life and work. The good news is that self-compassion is a trait you can cultivate with simple practices over time. If you give them a try, you may help yourself build a happier, healthier, and less angry life.

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The Connection Between Mindfulness and Personal Boundaries

“Can you talk about setting boundaries?” I got this question during a presentation about mindfulness and compassion for a law firm last week. Though I did my best to answer it, this topic is one that took more time than I had during a webinar. As a result, the question stayed with me long after the presentation ended.

Boundaries are tough for many of us. They are especially challenging for lawyers and others in service professions. My answer when the question was presented to me was that mindfulness and compassion can definitely help with this. In this article, though, I will explain in more detail precisely how.

The Ways that Mindfulness Helps with Boundaries

Boundary setting sounds like a single-step process but it truly has multiple aspects. This means that our ability to set boundaries may require us to execute more than one task successfully. The other problem with boundaries is that they are by definition individualized. We can’t simply copy other people. Instead, we must learn through life experience what our needs are and how to ensure that they are met.

This is why mindfulness and compassion can help us set boundaries in the following ways:

Supporting us in identifying personal needs;
Helping us to explore the concept of interconnection;
Cultivating clarity about what kindness and compassion truly are; and
Building skill with being uncomfortable.

I’ll explain each one below in more detail.

1. Mindfulness and Identifying Needs

One of the reasons that boundaries can be hard to set is that we may be in the habit of overlooking our own needs. This is not a criticism but an observation of life. Lots of us are busy. Lawyers, caregivers, and others in service industries may be accustomed to focusing on the needs of others. For these reasons, it is quite easy to just not notice what you need.

Mindfulness practices can be transformational for this basic reason. The practices force you, at least for a few minutes, to check in with yourself. Inherently, meditation or other practices like yoga include noticing what’s in your mind, heart, and body. This clarity about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions is a foundational step to help you identify needs so that you can set boundaries.

2. Mindfulness of Interconnection

We live in a highly individualistic culture, so many people can get the idea that setting boundaries is about focusing only on themselves. I think this is a mistake for a practical reason. Despite the constant encouragement to think about ourselves, humans are social animals. We live in and depend on community to live happy and productive lives.

Mindfulness practices can help us get clarity about our rightful role in the world. As we pay attention to our own minds, bodies, and hearts, it is nearly impossible to avoid the social situations in which our feelings, thoughts, and emotions arise. Over time, this helps us see how connected we are to others.

When we pay attention to this interconnectedness, we build wisdom about the importance of honoring all human needs, including our own. Paying closer attention to these connections may also help us better understand what our essential needs truly are. Over time, this may help us develop more balance in navigating our own boundaries in relationship to others.

Image listing the four ways that mindfulness and compassion can help with setting personal boundaries that are shared in the blog post

3. True Compassion Respects Boundaries

Some people struggle with setting personal boundaries because they may think it seems selfish. Others may have the idea that kindness and self-sacrifice are synonymous. Regular mindfulness and compassion practice help us see that neither are really true.

As I have shared before, a regular mindfulness practice should include the four heart practices, including kindness and compassion. If you do these practices regularly, you will build clarity about what kindness and compassion truly are. Kindness isn’t meekness or consistently denying oneself. Compassion is not merely sacrificing oneself for others.

Instead, both of these traits and responses are premised on the idea that all people, including yourself, deserve to be healthy, safe, happy, and at peace. If you practice long enough, you will likely see that kindness and compassion flow much more easily and robustly when your own needs are met. In this way, practicing mindfulness may help you internalize the idea that compassion and kindness for others are compatible with and supported by setting personal boundaries.

4. Setting Boundaries Can Be Uncomfortable but Mindfulness Helps with That

Another practical thing that keeps many of us from setting good boundaries: it’s uncomfortable. Most of us, especially lawyers and others in service professions, don’t like to tell other people no. It can cause conflict. We may worry it will cause others to judge us. At a minimum, it can make us feel awkward and unsure.

This good news is that mindfulness practice can help with that. The bad news is that mindfulness helps because it often includes being uncomfortable. Most of us don’t want to sit quietly and watch our thoughts. Most of us don’t want to avoid moving when we have an itch on our arm. We don’t want to persist when our backs hurt or we are falling asleep or our minds won’t shut up.

When we can persist with these challenges, though, it builds patience, courage, and the skill of being with discomfort. Though I emphasize gradualism and self-kindness at all stages of meditation, I am the first to say that these skills are invaluable. If you can sit in meditation for a few minutes with a difficult thought or uncomfortable sensation, this means you can face the same things when they arise in a conversation about boundaries.

Conclusion: Mindfulness Builds the Skills We Need to Set Boundaries Effectively

In short, mindfulness and compassion practices help with setting boundaries because they cultivate some of the fundamental skills necessary for doing so. These include, identifying personal needs, clarity about kindness and our role in community, and the ability to handle discomfort. Of course, setting boundaries is something that we cannot do with meditation alone. With time, though, mindfulness practice can help us bring these traits into our lives so that we can set personal boundaries more effectively.

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