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Why to Visit Your Local Dharma Center and How to Be a Good Guest

Founder’s Note: One of my favorite stories from the Buddha is when he tells his right hand man, Ananda, that “noble friends and noble conversations” are the “whole of holy life.” Sometimes you show up to a new place and these people are clearly labeled for you. Sue Noble is one of the first people I met on my first residential retreat. She seemed like a leader in the group but never acted authoritative. She was open and kind and always made me feel welcome and included. Sue has been meditating for many years and active with the Buddhist Dharma Center here in Cincinnati. I know other may feel strange visiting the Dharma or Zen Center in their community, so I asked Sue to do this interview to help others envision what they might expect.

1. Please tell me about yourself and your work with the Dharma Center.

I’m in a 12 step recovery program and the 11th step has to do with prayer and meditation. I was rather resistant to the idea of prayer to some deity and focused more on meditation. After a couple years of trying it on my own (with not much of what felt like success!) I spoke to a couple people I had heard talk about meditation. One person gave me a copy of Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The book was intimidating, but it came with a CD of guided meditations. My other friend directed me to the Buddhist Dharma Center’s Wednesday evening beginner’s session.

I attended those sessions for 10 years, eventually becoming one of the peer leaders, introducing others to the practice of meditation and the teachings of Buddhism. That led to me begin teaching some University of Cincinnati Communiversity courses, starting a Buddhism and 12 Steps group, and becoming a member of the Board. I’ve also started a book group and a couple contemplative reading groups at the Center.

2. What does a Dharma Center do? Why would a professional like a lawyer want to visit a Dharma Center? What could they expect to gain from the experience?

The Buddhist Dharma Center of Cincinnati provides an open and supportive environment for practicing meditation and studying the dharma. Our purpose is to cultivate a path which leads to awakening through:

Maintaining a weekly schedule of silent group meditation
Providing instruction in simple sitting and walking meditation common to all Buddhist traditions
Offering opportunities to deepen one’s practice through dharma study, periodic extended meditation, open discussions, and dharma talks
Supporting dharma practice at all levels
Sharing a compassionate approach to life with the larger community.
Openness and inclusivity are at the heart of dharma teachings and practice; the center is committed to kindness and respect for others, regardless of race, religion, cultural expressions, gender, gender identity, age or abilities. All are welcome!

We’re really a very casual, relaxed place. There’s no teacher, no affiliation with any other group–we truly are just a group of people who want to practice and study together.

I know your blog has talked a lot about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness—a clarity of thinking, less reactivity, lower stress levels, a more open and loving heart. But meditation can feel hard to do! My experience is that guidance from someone more experienced and the support of like-minded individuals is hugely beneficial. Even after sitting for a number of years, there is still something wonderful about meditation with others. Shared silence is palpably different than silence alone.

Image of people practicing yoga with quote that says "Shared silence is palpably different than silence alone."

3. How might the discussion or practice of meditation/mindfulness differ from what someone might encounter at a yoga studio or other source of secular mindfulness?

I practice in the Theravedan, or Insight Tradition, where the primary form of meditation is Vipassana which means “seeing clearly.” So for me the reason for meditating isn’t to relieve stress, calm my mind, or become less reactive (those are all great things!), but to clearly see how this mind works. The Buddha taught that suffering arises from craving and that craving arises in the mind. The way out of suffering is to clearly see the nature of the craving and how it leads to suffering. So meditation is part of the path to total liberation!

I use the example of experiencing opera. My first experience was listening to Sunday afternoon opera from the Metropolitan on a small radio. It was probably AM! But I was enchanted. Then some years later I heard and saw Beverly Sills on the Ed Sullivan Show and a new appreciation grew. Then I saw an entire production of an opera on TV and experienced the visual element of opera. And finally, I saw a live opera in a theater and was blown away by the sensory/emotional experience. Every single one of those experiences was valid and valuable. Any form of meditation is valid and valuable, but when held in the context of the Buddha’s teachings, meditation takes on a much more profound and life-altering meaning.

But having said that, many mindfulness and yoga teachers have strong spiritual practices and their teaching is often very similar to Buddhist teaching, just in a more secular language.

Image of interview subject from blog post with quote from the post that talks about the difference between meditation and mindfulness with a dharma center and elsewhere

4. Is there any etiquette or are there rules for visiting the Dharma Center? How can someone be a good guest?

We ask that you follow the below guidelines to help ensure an environment and culture that honors the Dharma and this space of practice, teaching and inquiry.

Please arrive a few minutes before a session starts
Once inside, before meditation begins, please remove your shoes and place under the bench along the wall.
Maintain silence during meditation.
Dress modestly, in attire appropriate to the occasion.
Turn off your phone and other noise making devices.
You may leave a session during walking meditation, which is also the time to use the restroom.
Keep your valuables with you during meditation.
The center has cushions, chairs and benches for meditation. Please brush off and straighten your cushion after meditation concludes.

5. Do you have to be a Buddhist or a religious person to benefit from practices or teachings at the Dharma Center? Is any experience with meditation required?

In our Buddhism and 12 Step group we say “No meditation experience or particular faith or spiritual practice is required. Neither is membership in a twelve step program. We are simply people exploring the path out of the suffering brought about by craving and clinging in whatever form it arises.”

Many people who come to the Dharma Center also participate in other religions or spiritual programs. One nice thing about silent meditation is that no one else knows what your intention is, how you are meditating, or what your beliefs are. I think many people just find it beneficial to sit quietly with others.

Our Wednesday night group is especially good for people new to meditation. There are shorter guided meditations, brief teaching and time for check-in and discussion.

Image of post-it note with quote from blog post that says "One good thing about silent meditation is that nobody else has to know what practice you are doing."

6. Are there any resources you’d like to share for those new to meditation?

I’m a huge fan of the Insight Timer Meditation App. There are thousands of guided meditations, a timer so you can set the length of time you want to sit, and even a way of tracking your meditation. I’ve also found tricycle.org to be very helpful. It’s a print/online magazine with articles from all different Buddhist traditions. It’s a great way to explore different styles of meditation.

7. What is the most important thing you’d like those new to meditation, mindfulness, or Buddhism to understand?

Just do it. Start small–five minutes at a time is how I started. Let go of what you think meditation should be. Practice mindfulness all the time. Practice seeing clearly, hearing clearly, moving with intention. And always, always be kind to yourself and others.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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Join Us for a Collective Meditation for Peace

The events in Jerusalem last weekend have been devastating for so many friends for a variety of reasons. This post is offered as a wish for all of the blog’s readers and friends to be happy, healthy, safe, and at ease.

I know in times of difficulty, it can be very hard to remember that goodness remains possible. Several times in my life, though, I have had the experience where friends helped me reconnect with something good even in the midst of difficult situations.

On September 11th, a woman in my dorm brought me along with a group to give blood. In 2017, after the bruising election season of 2016, my mom’s group organized a donation drive to support local homeless shelters. Even though these acts didn’t solve the problems that motivated them, they did good and they helped me remember that there is always good to do.

This week, my author friend and heroic lawyer Tahmina Watson invited me to help guide a meditation for peace on Sunday evening. Like the other events, this one features friends too. Jigna Patel, the Mindful Divorce Coach, will start the session. I will lead a loving-kindness practice, which has always been a source of strength for me on difficult days. And Amaris Vicari of The Beneficial Element will close out the session with a brief reflection.

The event is Sunday, October 15th at 7 PM PST/10 PM EST on Zoom. You can register here. Registration is required to obtain the link to join on Zoom but the event is free and open to all. I hope that you can join us but if not I plan to have a recording of the meditation on Insight Timer and in our Guided Meditations soon.

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Four Reasons You May Love Meditating with a Group

Technology is a wonderful thing. It has enabled people from all over the world to learn about the practice of meditation. Think about it. You can now have access to some of the world’s best meditation teachers in any number of means which are immediately available. You have a selection of apps that can teach practices and provide guided meditations. You can buy books from thinkers and teachers across the centuries. And if you look online, you’ll find any number of courses from any tradition you may wish to try.

I have used all of these things. I still do. I have benefitted from them immensely. I’m not here to tell you that they are not good. But I am here to say that they are not as good as learning meditation with friends.

I started meditation entirely on my own ten years ago. At the time, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I was trying meditation. I didn’t even tell my husband until my dabbling with meditation at 1 or 2 minutes at a time evolve into a habit. It took me even longer to tell others about my practice, but by then the results were so clear I couldn’t help myself.

Eventually, I decided I was ready for more and I signed up for a 1-day intensive in my area. Over time, I attended longer retreats and then some courses. During the pandemic, I tried more options online, from courses to virtual retreats. More recently, I have resumed my in-person meditation events and I remembered how helpful it is.

I know it can be hard to find a meditation group in some areas and even harder to show up as a stranger to a new place. I’m writing this post to let you know what you might find if you work up the courage to find and join a meditation group in your area. Here are the 4 reasons why meditating with a group can be helpful.

1. Peer Pressure Can Be Good.

If you meditate in person, the odds are that there will be some nerves and jitters at first as you adjust to sitting and breathing with other people. Eventually, though, you may find as I did that your mind settles down far more easily in a group than by yourself. Why?

Of course, humans are mammals. As social creatures, we are made to be together. Have you ever been to a concert or sports event and found yourself overcome with the emotion of the crowd? The same is true in reverse. Meditation in a group can help you relax and settle because everyone else is relaxed and settled.

And even on the times you aren’t relaxed and settled, you may find the group helpful too. When you are struggling with a session, being in a group may help you stick with the practice simply to avoid disrupting others. Clearly, if you need a break or have to move, that’s not out of bounds. But sometimes with habits, we just need one more reason to keep saying yes and being in a group offers that in the hard sessions.

2. It Can Add Variety to Your Practice.

If you sit and do nothing for long enough, you are bound to notice one thing: meditation can be boring. This is not a reason to quit but your mind will tell you it is. In reality, though, boredom is an amazing reaction to watch. We often think of boredom as the end of the story, but in reality it’s an opening question.

Boredom is really more about our judgments and reactions than the thing we think is boring. So, if meditation is boring, one question might be: how many things can you do entirely on your own and not get bored? If you are being honest, there probably aren’t too many.

Pure and simple, meditation in a group is a way to add variety to your practice. It may mean you are meditating in a new space, there may be new people, there might be some new rituals (i.e. chanting, bowing, etc.), and you may try new practices or modalities. This variety offers the chance of building skills and seeing your practice in a new way.

3. You Learn You Aren’t So Weird.

This one may be my favorite. No shade to Tara Brach or Sharon Salzberg or any of the other world-renowned teachers I adore. But I may have learned more from the other meditators on retreat who asked questions about practice.

These people overtly stated that they did not know the answers. They announced their struggles to the group. These people were asking for guidance. Why was this so amazing?

Well, first of all, it was amazing for me to hear people admit that they weren’t perfect and didn’t have it all figured out. It helped to see the teachers respond with humanity, compassion, and often humor to try to help. Because these people were brave enough to ask questions, it made me feel brave enough to ask my own.

The other thing that really helped though was that most of the questions related to things I had struggled with too. Was I allowed to swallow? Was I allowed to scratch an itch? What if I had a train of thought that would not stop? What if I kept falling asleep or spacing out? All these questions and more told me that my problems weren’t weird at all but a normal part of the practice.

4. You Meet Awesome People.

I was wrong. This one is my real favorite. One thing I have learned about venturing forth with my own hobbies and interests is that you meet cool people in the process. Even for an introvert like me, meeting and bonding with new people is easy when I am doing something I enjoy.

If you find a meditation group to learn with or sit with, you are bound to get to know some great people. This might be at your yoga studio, church, local Dharma center, or your office. If you sit with the same group for long enough, you will get to know people. Chit chat happens or sometimes you make friends through Q&A sessions at the end of a practice.

In general, the people I have met in meditation groups or courses have been thoughtful, kind, warm, and open. They are people looking to heal, grow, and lead intentional lives in community with others. With all the division, difficulty and strife in life and work, I have found it heartening to see and sit with people who are trying to create peace for themselves and others.

These are the four reasons I keep looking for opportunities to learn and practice meditation in a community. If you are looking for the same thing, you may try looking for courses or open sits in your area at your local yoga studio, church or worship space, or a Dharma or Zen Center.

There are also many online and virtual options for courses, retreats, and sits. These may not offer the same support as an in-person event, but they offer convenience and a chance to preview group meditation with minimal effort. Lawyers interested in trying this out should check out the Mindfulness in Law Society Virtual Sits every Monday and Wednesday afternoon.

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Insights from an Influencer? Yung Pueblo Will Change Your Mind

If I were to tell you that an Instagram influencer under 40 is a source of healing and wisdom for millions of people, you’d probably be skeptical. Instagram is the source of social comparison and makeup how-to videos. It’s not where people interested in meditation (like I am and you are) traditionally go to find wisdom.

Maybe some of that is true, but a big exception to this rule is Yung Pueblo (Diego Perez). Perez is a former community organizer and now famed writer who has published 3 books (with a fourth on the way) and has a following on Instagram exceeding two million.

Who Is Yung Pueblo?

He healed himself through meditation after struggling with emotional turmoil, conflict, and addiction. Then he started sharing the insights he gleaned from the practice in short poem-like verses on Instagram.

At the time, this was almost unheard of on Instagram. That platform is filled with glossy and well-manicured photos of celebrities and curated video content meant to sell. Against this backdrop, though, you can almost see how someone bold enough to share only a white background and simple text might stand out.

And stand out they did. Yung Pueblo – writing for “young people” – got the attention of millions of followers and ultimately secured a book deal. How did he garner this attention? With insights. Pure and simple.

Image of person meditating on the beach with a social media post that says "Yung Pueblo talks about meditation but he teaches insights. He gives you a reason to stop scrolling for a moment and ponder."

What Yung Pueblo Can Teach You about Meditation

Insights? Maybe you’re reading this and you feel like it’s a let down but I assure you it’s not. I haven’t written much about insights on this blog because they are hard to describe. You can’t really meditate to get a particular insight. Instead, if you do vipassana (“insight”) meditation, you often just sit with very little structure and await the arrival of wisdom.

In many cases, these insights are so basic that you could easily mistake them as merely mundane or insignificant thoughts. But, when you slow down in the course of meditation, you realize that they are more than statements of the obvious. Instead, they are acknowledgments of fundamental truths that you may normally overlook in your busy daily life.

Insights from Yung Pueblo

For instance, here’s this little gem from Perez’s first book Inward

reminder:

you can love people and

simultaneously not allow

them to harm you.

Many of us logically know that this is true, but who doesn’t need a reminder about boundaries every now and then? I mean, how easy it is to get love confused with obligation or to not know how to balance self-compassion and compassion for others?

What Meditation Offers Us

Or how about this understated little gem that is so easy to forget:

I am

at my

strongest

when

I am calm

Now that you’ve prepared a bit, try this one on for size:

self-love is doing the work

we need to be free

Boom.

Yung Pueblo Offers Fresh Simplicity

Again, these are hopefully obvious to most of us. But imagine you saw this on Instagram after scrolling for minutes to avoid thinking about some stressful situation at work. Then think how you would respond. In my imagination, I’d double tap and probably comment with something like a “100” emoji followed by a few flames.

Now imagine that you follow and have more of these statements showing up in your feed on a regular basis. Who couldn’t use reminders like these? Of course, we all can. Though meditation is a great way to see insights in our own lives, it never hurts to have some support from other wise people.

Image sharing the books of Yung Pueblo on mindfulness and meditation

Meditation and Mindfulness Simplified

More recently, though, Yung Pueblo has shown he can offer even more than the modern-day equivalent of The Tao Te Ching. In Lighter, Yung Pueblo offers a work in full prose that is part memoir and part self-help. He shares his story as a first generation American after his parents emigrated from Ecuador. He details his struggle with addiction and how meditation helped him heal. And he even offers insights about how mindfulness can help us achieve positive social change and healing across the world.

This book was stylistically different than the others but it offered many of the same insights you’ll see in Yung Pueblo’s other works. In general, Yung Pueblo’s work doesn’t focus on meditation practice, but it gives you a clear idea about why you might want to meditate. He’s not a meditation teacher per se and doesn’t describe himself that way, but I wouldn’t call it a stretch to call him a teacher of insights.

Books from Yung Pueblo

This is not to say that I think you could read Yung Pueblo as a substitute for meditation practice. But his gentle reminders to let go of what you don’t need and pursue what really matters can sure help. Whether you meditate or not, Yung Pueblo offers a wisdom that is well beyond his years. For insights, healing, and calm clarity, find him on Instagram or check out his books:

Founder’s Note: I share these books because I sincerely enjoyed them. The links to the books are paid affiliate links through the Amazon Associates program.

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Writing About Your Darkest Moments Feels So Damn Good

Can you help me understand something? Like seriously. I need someone else to explain this to me slowly and in small words. Why does writing about my dark times in life feel so good?

I have had these times in my life. Experiences that are just awful. So awful, in fact, that I don’t even want to acknowledge them when they are happening.

Then I survive them and time passes. And I find myself not just journaling about them, but publishing pieces about them. Every time I do this, it scares me. Every time, I think “This is going to be the last straw. This is going to be the one where people say I have gone too far.” But that last straw never seems to come.

Writing About Dark Times Feels Good

Instead, what happens is that I feel good. Damn good. So damn good that I repeat the cycle again. What is this? Can you help me identify this phenomenon?

Case in point. I just published an article for Above the Law – one of the most well read legal blogs on the internet. The topic of my article was loneliness. While a common affliction these days, especially for lawyers who rate themselves as the loneliest of professions, loneliness also commonly induces shame.

Image with the mental health inspiration phrase If I'm already a mess I can try being a mess in public.

Why Does Writing About Dark Times Help?

This was true for me. I was so ashamed of my own loneliness that it took me years and a bout with postpartum depression to start to face it. Ultimately, my meditation practice forced me to reckon with it because sitting still without distraction made me unable to look away. As I learned, this pain was worth it because facing the problem eventually helped me address it.

But at the time, the idea of saying to myself “I have no friends” was too painful to bear. Fast forward ten years, and I decided to tell the internet about it. The weird thing is that I don’t feel ashamed anymore. I feel fantastic. What gives?

Writing Can Help You Process Emotions

Now, you would be correct to point out that the response from my community has been heartening. I received nothing but positive comments and messages in response to my post. One contact on LinkedIn even offered to be my friend and a legal scholar of ethics dubbed me the Lawyer of the Week for my post.

Certainly, seeing the reality of what people really think juxtaposed against the tragedy of shame playing out in our minds can help us get perspective. But this isn’t a one-off scenario. At this point, this is a pattern for me.

Writing Is Sharing and That Means Confronting Shame

I have written about my experience with postpartum depression, and my struggle with alcohol during the pandemic, and my fear of networking, and my challenges with anger management. All of these things in the moment made me feel deeply ashamed. Writing about all of them made me feel great.

Image with a quote about mindfulness and the power of acknowledging our experiences

And, though I got similarly positive responses to those posts, the great feelings happened before any public response. The good feelings started when I decided to write. They climaxed when I wrote and cried my way through the editing process. And they continued as I hit send or publish on the piece.

Writing Can Be Scary at First But It Ultimately Feels Good

So what are these great feelings? If I had to offer one word, I would call it self-acceptance. Writing about our past experiences forces us to get clear about them. It forces us to recall what happened, acknowledge all the angst and fear there, and not look away.

In general, the form of story telling also calls on us to provide a narrative structure. It’s not enough to just say what we experienced; we next have to say where it took us and what we learned. That means we have to figure out the meaning of the experience.

Writing about Traumatic Experiences

I have read that writing about a traumatic experience can help us process it. My lived experience tells me this is true. I don’t know of any research that says publishing your work has any added benefits, but I have felt them myself.

When I have published the pieces about my dark moments, it’s like self-acceptance on steroids. I know that some people may judge me. I know that some people may criticize. I publish anyway. Usually, I have been motivated to do so because I know that I am not alone in dealing with the issue. For example, all of the dark experiences I have shared (depression, alcohol, loneliness, imposter syndrome) are things lawyers commonly face.

Image with a phrase that says writing about challenging experiences can offer mental health benefits

But when I share my story with these experiences, I highlight my story and take the risk that some might not understand. When I do, I remember how much of my life was spent tip-toeing around people who might not get me and I say to myself “not anymore.”

Writing Lets Us Share Our Story and Make Sense of It

So perhaps I have figured this out on my own. Writing about dark moments in life isn’t without pain or risk, but it feels damn good. It feels good to acknowledge your own experience and understand what it means. It feels good to own your story no matter what people might think.

Justice Louis D. Brandeis (the namesake for my law school) famously said “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants.” He wasn’t talking about mental health here but the saying still applies. If you are struggling with dark moments, try bringing in some light. Talk it out, write it out, share it with those you trust. Your story matters and acknowledging it can feel damn good.

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Why Overthinking Lawyers Will Love Noting Practice

Founder’s Note: This is the blog’s 150th post and somehow I managed to publish it on World Mindfulness Day and have a new meditation to share too. Sometimes little ideas you have grow and sometimes things work out. Thanks to all of the blog’s readers, followers, contributors, and friends.

If you try meditation practice long enough, you are bound to encounter the practice of “noting.” With this practice, you pick a focal point (most commonly the breath though any focal point would do). Then when a distraction arises, you simply note it and and return to the focal point.

In many cases, the instruction to note generally means to briefly identify the distraction and let it go. For example, you might be instructed to categorize the experience as either a thought, emotion, sensation, sound, or mental scene. Though many of us may be familiar with this practice, we may not always know why it’s a good one to do. That’s what this blog post will address.

What Is Noting Practice?

Noting is a mindfulness practice. Like breath practice, noting will help you cultivate awareness and focus. It can also help you cultivate self-compassion as you manage the inevitable frustration that may arise with meditation. Noting, however, offers something more too.

With noting, the act of categorizing mental experiences may help you recognize mental experiences for what they are. For example, anyone who has meditated even once knows that it is not always easy to differentiate awareness of your breathing from thinking about your breathing.

Similarly, it can be hard to realize that you are experiencing a memory or fantasy about the future when you are in it. Once you can get outside of the mental images or thoughts, it can be easy to acknowledge their unreality or challenge their logic. But, when you are absorbed by the thought or scene or sensation or emotion, your ability to manage the situation is much harder.

Noting Practice Can Help You Manage Thoughts.

Noting practices the skill of recognizing when you are having an inner experience and zooming out from it. By looking for and categorizing inner experiences, you can note them without getting sucked into the details. In other words, noting helps you practice seeing a trap for your attention and stepping around it.

In this way, noting is different from self-analysis. It is not seeing a thought and applying more thought to ask why the thought pattern occurs. Instead, the practice is simply note it as a “thought” and then let it go. You avoid the juicy details of the story underlying the thought and you focus instead on the reality that the story is one totally of your mind’s own making.

This is not to say that all of your thoughts are bad or wrong. Thinking and thoughts aren’t inherently bad. The problem that many of us encounter, however, is that we aren’t usually aware when we are thinking. As such, we often assume that our thoughts are correct and helpful. When we look at thoughts critically, though, we are bound to see that some are based on incomplete information, affected by our emotions, or infused with biases.

Any lawyer reading this probably knows why this is an essential skill. We think so much in our jobs that it can be a challenge to stop thinking. If, like me, you have ever struggled with overthinking, learning to just see that you are thinking can be a benefit in and of itself.

Noting Practice Can Help Manage Overwhelm.

The other thing that is helpful about noting practice is that it can separate aspects of our inner experience. Life does not send us experiences in neatly labeled and clearly delineated boxes. To the contrary, we can be inundated with thoughts, emotions, and sensory information all at once.

The cool thing about attention, though, is that it can really only focus on one thing at a time. So, even if you are inundated with a slew of inner experiences at once, your mind can focus on just one. In daily life, this may be hard to see because things may happen so rapidly. With meditation, though, we can slow things down and take experiences one by one.

Over time, this can help us build inner resources for dealing with difficult situations. We may notice a challenging sensation caused by emotion and then see that our thoughts are starting to spiral. We can internally “note” the situation and choose to use an inner resource to maintain steadiness.

Conclusion

Am I saying that noting practice should become a mainstay of your practice? Probably not, but it is one to try because noting is a good skill to keep sharp. I recommend trying the practice out a few times to learn and implement the strategy. Once the skill of noting is developed, you can do it occasionally to keep the skill sharp.

Even if you don’t practice noting regularly, you can use the strategy of noting in your life to catch yourself in rumination or bring nonjudgmental awareness to physical sensations. This is where the benefits of noting practice can really pay off.

If you want to give noting practice a try, check out our new Noting Practice Guided Meditation here:

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Come Hang Out with the Mindfulness in Law Society

Over the years, my networking approach has generally not been a sophisticated one. I join things and show up and eventually someone encourages me to get more involved. There have been times when I have declined opportunities, but I have said “sure” far more often.

I’ll admit that I have sometimes found myself exasperated and been forced to scale back. In general, though, this openness has served me very well.To my great satisfaction, this pattern repeated itself again with the Mindfulness in Law Society.

How I Found the Mindfulness in Law Society

I have been a member of this group for several years, but have not been heavily involved until recently. A few years ago, a fellow lawyer reached out and asked me to lead a meditation for a young lawyers program for the American Bar Association. As it turns out, that lawyer, Christina Sava, is also involved with MILS.

She reached out again to see if I’d be interested in joining the roster of teachers for the twice weekly guided meditations that MILS offers. This was an easy “sure” but I added something more.

I checked out the local chapters for MILS and saw none in Kentucky or Ohio. Since I am already active with wellness committees for my state and local bars here, I decided to start a local chapter for MILS in the Greater Cincinnati Area.

Image showing some of the virtual meditation sits with the Mindfulness in Law Society

Why You Should Hang Out with the Mindfulness in Law Society

So, what I am I asking of you? Nothing crazy; maybe just to consider my unsophisticated networking approach of showing up. The virtual sits for MILS are held twice weekly, on Mondays at 3 PM EST and Wednesdays at 5 PM. They are open to anyone in the legal profession (which is defined broadly and includes students and paralegals).

In addition, people from across and outside of the United States participate in the virtual sits. I have stressed the value of meditation in a group before and I will say it again: it helps.

Virtual groups are not nearly the same as in-person groups but they are far better than no group at all. I will be guiding on the 2nd Monday at 3 PM EST and the 3rd Wednesday at 5 PM EST, so come and hang out.

A Mindfulness Group for Lawyers

And, if you are in the Cincinnati area, interested in mindfulness, and in the legal profession, please reach out via email or on LinkedIn if you would like to help form and launch the chapter. You don’t have to be a meditation teacher or even an experienced meditator. Someone who cares about mental health in the legal profession is all we need.

I know we are all too busy. I also know that it’s hard to show up with a group of people you don’t know. To find a meditation community, though, that’s often the only choice. As hard as it can be to work up the courage, it’s not a bad thing.

Meeting new people and joining new groups is a great way to network, build community, and learn mindfulness. Now, it seems I am the person encouraging you to get more involved. All you have to do is say “sure.”

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Zen in the Art of Yard Maintenance

Image of yard and home with title of the blog post "Zen and the Art of Yard Maintenance" with a blurb "why getting outside may be the bets thing you can do for your mental health"

The single best thing I did for my mental health this summer was not meditation. Instead, it was getting outside. By no means am I saying that I stopped meditating. But at this point the practice for me is part of my routine. So, the best new thing I did this summer was to make the area outside of my home more hospitable. I got rid of some old stuff and in the new spaces deposited a tent with some rocking chairs and a covered swing.

This was a game changer for me because my backyard is in full sun. Before my upgrades, there was almost no shade. This made it difficult to enjoy being outside for any period of time. My new shady spots and comfy seats, however, have drastically changed things for me. Now, I can read, listen to a webinar, or even work outside. And you can bet that I have also enjoyed meditating outside, too.

Getting Outside Is Mental Health Magic

Let’s face it. Being outside is magical. The sounds of nature can quickly calm and relax us. The outdoors can give us a break from our screens or offer a chance for movement. In fact, I have it on good authority that getting outside is part of what many lawyers require for an “ideal day.”

Last year, when I was preparing to write my first book I interviewed more than 30 lawyers to discuss their experience with stress. I thought these interviews would be hard but they were actually quiet inspirational.

My favorite part was when I got to ask them what their ideal day looked like in order to provide some context around all the questions about stress. Nearly every answer included an outdoor activity, whether it was playing golf, taking a walk, or gardening.

Image of public park with quote from the blog post that says "Getting outside for as little as 2 hours each week can positively impact your well-being."

Research Shows the Mental Health Benefits of Getting Outside

These anecdotal reports are also consistent with myriad research studies that show the health benefits of getting outside. Studies have shown that being in nature can reduce stress, improve cognitive functioning, and increase happiness. What’s more, you don’t have to take a trek through the Grand Canyon to tap into the benefits. Instead, two hours–even if spread out over the course of a week–is enough to improve one’s perceived well-being.

While it may not be terribly surprising that pleasant activities outside can lift our spirits, I have experienced a similar boost from unpleasant outdoor activities. It has taken me a few years to get there, but I am now officially a fan of trimming my hedges. My house is surrounded by landscaping on all sides, including two literal walls of shrubs.

Even Doing Chores Outside Can Offer Mental Health Benefits

My husband and I are not handy people so we had outsourced this for many years. While social distancing during the pandemic, I got ~~ambitious~~ bored and tried it myself. I would go out on a nice day and trim for about an hour or two and fill up a dumpster with clippings. I always came in tired and messy but seeing the impact of my work felt good.

And, can I be honest? Yard work can sometimes be cathartic. One day, I was in a terrible mood and very much in my head after getting an email from a colleague about a project.

I stewed in that feeling for a while and then looked out the window. I saw how nice it was, recalled the trimming I had yet to do, and put my energy to good use. I came back inside in a much better mood to find that the email “crisis” was really no big deal.

Image of hand on grass in a meadow with quote from the blog post that says "Meditation is about focusing inward, but getting outside is about expanding outward. Humans need both for a happy life."

Many of Us Need Multiple Strategies to Support Our Mental Health

I teach about meditation a lot. There is certainly power in looking inward and getting to know ourselves more deeply. Getting outside, however, lets us expand outward beyond our normal routines and environment. Humans need both introspection and expansion to live a happy life. We need healing and rest, just as much as we need space to grow and move.

The other day my mom, who has never meditated before, asked me how she could get started with mindfulness. I offered some resources and tips, but the first thing I told her to do was to leave her phone and go sit outside. My mom has a nice covered porch with a swing and it’s filled with the lush plants she lovingly tends. I told her to sit for a few minutes every day and to notice how it felt.

If You Need a Quick Mental Health Boost, Get Outside

Whether you are totally new to mindfulness or are an experienced meditator, this is pretty good advice. To boost your mood, get some exercise, and expand your mind, get outside. You can run, or swing, or clean up your yard, or just sit still and listen to the crickets. Just get outside and notice how it feels. It may just be one of the best things you can do for your mental health.

This post encourages you to get outside for the real thing, but if that’s not an option check out this guided meditation:

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Supported Fish Pose with Self-Kindness Guided Meditation

Cover image of woman doing restorative yoga with title of blog post "Supported Fish Post with Self-Kindness Guided Meditation"

It’s a long holiday weekend. If you’re lucky, that means some extra time for rest and relaxation and enjoying the last days of summer. Some of us have no trouble resting when we get the chance, but if you are anything like me it can be a struggle. That’s why I am sharing this guided meditation.

It’s really easy to get caught in habits, whether they support the life we want or not. For lawyers, the habit that can impede quality rest is that of being busy. We have jam-packed schedules, numerous obligations, and full lives. This can make it hard to spot the nooks and crannies in our schedule for ease and rest and take advantage of them when they come.

Some of Us Need Help Resting and This Guided Meditation Can Help

The other problem for lawyers, of course, is that even physical rest can feel uncomfortable because our minds don’t stop. As a long-time overthinker, I know that this struggle is very real.

So what’s my answer? First, it is important to learn to just stop and take a few minutes for oneself. Second, though, it helps a lot to honor and connect with the body. In general, it’s the quickest way to feel better both physically and mentally. Third, I really like playing with my mindfulness practice to find what works just for me. As someone trained to teach meditation, yoga, and compassion, this has often meant combining practices.

A Guided Meditation Combined with Restorative Yoga

I used all of these ideas in the new guided meditation I am offering today. In the practice, there is a guided reflection on rest and it’s role in our lives. This practice is not merely a mental exercise but also incorporates a classic restorative yoga pose: supported fish to help the body relax and rest. And third, it’s certainly a playful exploration of the intersection between meditation and yoga.

Labor Day is about honoring the American worker with a day of rest. I’m sharing this meditation with you today as an additional support in your quest to rest this long weekend. If you want to try it out, check it out here or on the YouTube channel.

Another Guided Meditation Option to Help You Rest

If you like this practice and want another, you might check out my most popular video, the Legs Up the Wall Guided Meditation too. This one uses another classic restorative yoga pose: legs up the wall. You can use a cushion to support your back and hips but in truth no props are required at all. This meditation teaches a variety of ways to focus on the breath so you can learn while you rest.

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Meditation Teacher Sharon Salzberg Helps Us Bring Mindfulness Into Real Life

I have read a lot of books on mindfulness and followed many meditation teachers over the years. Some help me understand the practice of meditation better. Some help me understand myself better. But Sharon Salzberg has helped me understand life better.

Sharon Salzberg is one of the most well-known teachers of mindfulness in the world. She has been teaching for more than four decades, is a founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, the author of numerous books (which I’ll mention below), and the host of the wildly popular Metta Hour podcast. This is a fantastic resume to be sure, but it’s not what I like most about Salzberg.

Salzberg Makes Mindfulness Accessible

What I like most is that, despite this resume, Salzberg’s teachings don’t come across as esoteric, ethereal, or even professorial. They are down-to-earth, practical, and human. If you read her books or listen to her podcast, it’s immediately clear that Salzberg knows her stuff but she always talks to you and never at you.

In fact, though I certainly have experienced a mind and heart expansion from reading Salzberg’s works, reading them didn’t feel like being taught. Instead, reading Salzberg’s books felt more like talking about life with a wise friend or good neighbor.

Salzberg on Loving-Kindness Meditation

If you are reading this blog, the odds are that you have heard of Sharon Salzberg and you may have already encountered some of her works. What you may not realize and what I didn’t appreciate until I sat down to write this post is how extensive and broadly applicable her work was.

Salzberg is perhaps most well-known for her teachings on my favorite meditation practice, loving-kindness. But what I hope you get from this post is that her work can help you learn how to live loving-kindness too.

Meditation Books from Sharon Salzberg

To more clearly illustrate what I am talking about here, I provide a few summaries of the books from Sharon Salzberg that I have enjoyed the most:

Loving-Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

This is a book that explains the practice of loving-kindness in depth. It discusses each aspect of the practice to support the process of opening the heart more broadly. As I explain in my own book, loving-kindness is a dynamic practice that includes both body awareness, mental imagery, and emotional understanding. This book breaks the practice down in a simple way to help support you in your practice.

Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves & the World

This book is for anyone seeking stability and inspiration to keep working to make the world a better place. I read this book years ago as I was reeling from the bruising 2020 election and I can’t tell you the healing it brought me. It explains how mindfulness can be a stabilizing force in the work towards change and how compassion can inspire action even amid fear. She also offers more resources relating to political action and election stress on her website which is bound to be helpful to many as we head into a new election cycle.

Books Applying Mindfulness to Real Life

In addition to her books teaching meditation practices, Sharon Salzberg also has books applying mindfulness to life.

Real Happiness at Work: Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement & Peace

The goal of this blog is to help lawyers and professionals not just learn about meditation but bring mindfulness into their lives and work. That’s the goal of this book from Salzberg too. It embeds mindfulness concepts and practices into the life of work. What I like best are the micro practices sprinkled into every chapter to help you incorporate mindfulness into your work regardless of your experience (or lack thereof) with meditation practice.

Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness & Freedom

This is Salzberg’s latest book. There are many teachers who talk about the process of contracting or tightening during difficulty, including Tara Brach. This book, though, explains how easy it is to do that habitually throughout our lives. It offers teachings about how to open back up again to get what we actually want out of life: meaning, connection, and peace. In a time when the world seems intent on making us afraid and isolated, this book will help you rebalance again towards hope and calm.

Looking for More Meditation Instruction?

If you are interested in learning more, Salzberg frequently offers special events and courses where students can learn more. Fortunately, we can expect to see more from Salzberg. In her latest book, Real Life, Salzberg discussed the fact that she is going to be devoting more of her time to writing. This has already proven to be fruitful, with the recent release of a 10^th anniversary edition of her book, Love Your Enemies, which I discuss here.

Salzberg is a teacher who has made mindfulness practices accessible and approachable to thousands of people around the world. Whether you do a few of her guided meditations or do a deep dive into all of her books, you are bound to learn not just about mindfulness, but also some skills for life.

Founder’s Note: The links to the books discussed here are paid through the Amazon affiliates program. The reviews and recommendations to all books and the author are unpaid and are genuine and sincere.

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