Category Archives: Special Event

I have had a very busy couple of weeks. Fortunately, that business has been almost all good. I have had several talks and presentations over the last few weeks, which included all of my favorite things: mindfulness, writing, stress management, and leadership. I have also had some articles publish which I have not yet had an opportunity to share, but will soon. The bad news, however, is that I didn’t have time to write a blog post for the week.

Then I realized that I was maybe being too restrictive. It finally donned on me that one of the talks I am scheduled to give would make a pretty good blog post. I was asked to give a Ted-style talk on the topic of “leadership” for the Federation of Defense and Corporate Counsel. Given how much I love writing, I decided I would write about “thought leadership” and specifically how I came to it.

The talk traces my story from starting with little writing experience and only a couple hundred followers on LinkedIn to becoming a speaker, author, and blogger. And, of course, it shares how meditation was at the origins of it all. If you are interested in writing, business development, or the power of mindfulness, check out a print version of it here:

­­What is thought leadership?

I’m here to talk to you this morning about thought leadership. This sounds really impressive. Forbes defines a thought leader as “a person who is specialized in a given area and whom others in that industry turn to for guidance.” Wow. Kind of a big deal.

Am I a thought Leader? Here’s why.

Am I a thought leader? Did they get it right when he asked me to give this talk?

“Thought leader” is not a word I generally use, but if you twisted my arm I would admit that this definition fits me for certain topics. I’m practicing at a great firm and have demonstrated expertise in my field. I have an established blog and thousands of followers on LinkedIn. I teach mindfulness and compassion in addition to practicing law and raising a family. I give talks and present seminars on mental health, stress management, and more on a regular basis. And I have written two books with more on the way.

Started out a nobody.

When I started, though about 6 years ago, I was a nobody. I was the most junior partner at a small firm in Kentucky. My practice was focused, so I didn’t work with a ton of people. I’m an introvert and assumed for a long time I would never be a rainmaker. And I was the mom of two young girls and didn’t have a lot of expendable time and energy to invest to change this.

Hidden advantage.

But I had one hidden advantage. I thought way too much. You may be wondering how on earth this could be an advantage. For years, it was a huge liability. Overthinking kept me anxious, stuck, and at times spiked into intense depression. Eventually, though, I learned how to harness this power.

My mental health needs forced me to try meditation. When I did, I got distance from and clarity about my thoughts. Many of them, to be sure, were garbage to discard and ignore. But some were ideas for writing. So I started writing to get the thoughts out of my head.

Writing progression.

I wrote articles for trade magazines, then blog posts, and then LinkedIn posts. In doing this, I learned that publishing my thoughts was the only way to let them go. The thoughts always kept coming, so I kept going. I kept writing and eventually realized I needed my own place to write whenever I chose. So I founded my own blog where I publish one post a week. By the end of the first year, I was ready to write my first book. After 3 years, I have written nearly 200 posts in addition to many other resources.

Early doubts and why I got started.

All the while, I had doubts. I was afraid that nobody would care. I was afraid all my efforts would be for nothing. The urge to write, though, was powerful and usually won out over these doubts. But more importantly, I had something to say.

I knew that there was a need for a change in the legal profession. Too many lawyers struggle with mental health and feel like they can’t get any relief or support. Even when mental health challenges are absent, I knew all too well how perfectionism, self-doubt, and overreliance on control could impede lawyers from happiness and doing our best work.

So I started writing about leadership, writing, networking as an introvert, being a working mom, mindfulness, and mental health. I just started offering ideas about what might help others and what had helped me.

Early impediments.

Of course, I was afraid of what people might think. At the beginning, I was not an experienced writer and had not developed my voice. I was a still young lawyer and wasn’t sure it was my place to put my ideas out there. And nobody else in my firm or even my local community was sharing content like mine on social media.

Humility and struggles.

One thing that helped me move forward, though, was to lean into my humility. Rather than act like I had it all figured out, I often shared my struggles. Sometimes I shared things that at a certain time in my life had made me feel ashamed. I wrote about my anxiety, I shared stories about struggling with loneliness and managing anger, and I have been pretty open about my experiments with Dry January to help me manage alcohol.

Afraid but the “why” pushed me along.

Every time I shared something like this, I was afraid of what people might think but I did it anyway because I knew I wasn’t alone and thought it might help. I knew what it was like to feel anxious all the time, out of control of one’s thoughts, and always stressed out or depressed. What I wanted more than anything was for others, not to feel how I had felt. I especially wanted this for my fellow lawyers who make it our life’s mission to serve other people. So if something I wrote could reach someone, resonate with someone, or give them a good resource, then it was worth it to me.

Despite all the fears on the front end, I felt nothing but pride and validation after sharing these stories. Any shame I had felt about my experience melted away when I could acknowledge it simply as a human experience. To my surprise, people reached out to say that they appreciated what I had shared. People told me that they thought I was brave.

Setbacks.

Now, this isn’t every time. Sometimes my posts would bomb. Sometimes nobody cared. But by then I had developed enough self-compassion to not take these things personally. I knew how to take care of any feelings of disappointment, and I remembered that I didn’t start writing for anyone’s approval. Instead, I had started writing because I loved it and had something to say. So I took breaks when needed but then got back to it.

Payoff.

As it turns out, it was worth it for many other reasons I could never have expected. When I started sharing content, at first nobody cared. After a while though, people started following me. Then people started reaching out to tell me they liked what I had to say. Then people started inviting me to speak and write more.

Over time, I made some real friends and connections. People referred me work. They looked to me as a resource and sought my input. They invited me to join and become active in networks, like this one, and most recently one friend I gained through with my writing even invited me to join her law firm.

Not a nobody anymore.

Now, I’m not a nobody anymore. Now, I see that I never was. I was a quiet and thoughtful lawyer who sometimes saw things differently from others around me. For years, I thought this was what was wrong with me. I was convinced that this trait is what would hold me back. And it did until I started using it. By putting my copious thoughts to use, I learned my overthinking was the gift I could offer to the world and the profession.

Can you lead without followers?

So, how do you become a thought leader when you have no followers? First, stop thinking about followers. Start instead with the thoughts. What thoughts are you going to offer? What can you say that nobody else can? Or said differently, what is something so important to say that you are willing to take a risk?

That’s the thing. Leadership is not about followers. Leadership is about accountability. It’s about a vision for something better and the willingness to take responsibility to make it happen.

Final advice.

I don’t care how many followers you have or how impressive you are. If you say something authentic, helpful, honest, and kind, you are not a nobody. Instead, you may have a gift that the world and our profession really need.

Get started. Trust yourself. Trust other people (at least some of the time). Use your gifts, whatever they are and even if you never saw them as gifts before. And then see what happens.

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Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

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