Brilliant Recommendation - brilliantlegalmind.com

Book Review: Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

How many times have you lamented in stress or frustration that life doesn’t come with an instructional manual? It’s a statement that all of us from time to time have exclaimed when we don’t really understand what’s going on and we are just doing our best to get through it. Emotions are often like this. They come along every so often and we have no choice but to ride the wave.

Most of us like to pretend that we are in control of our emotions. Anyone in the business world, including lawyers, are now familiar with the importance of EQ (“emotional intelligence”). So, of course we know how to recognize and honor the emotions that come. Right?

As a meditation teacher, I’ll be the first to admit that this is far more challenging than it seems. That’s why I am really glad to tell you there is an instructional manual–or at least an encyclopedia–for emotions: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brene Brown.

Now, some of you may be skeptical about the need for a book that explains our emotions. You may think “I know when I am happy, or sad, or mad.” And I bet you do. Those emotions are pretty easy to recognize and differentiate. But are you clear about emotions like jealousy or shame or anxiety or loneliness? Can you tell the difference between sympathy, empathy, compassion and pity?

An image about the importance of understanding emotions and emotional intelligence

When I ask this question, I’m not requesting a dictionary definition alone. What I really mean is: can you recognize the signs of these emotions in yourself and in others? Can you also understand them well enough to know their causes, cures, and significance?

That’s what Atlas of the Heart offers. It categorizes the range of human experience and uses geographical terminology to help us understand them. Rather than defining emotions as a range of symptoms, the book is structured into chapters for clusters of emotions grouped by experience. Each experience is described as the “places we go” when things are uncertain, we’re hurting, or we search for connection.

Because the chapters cluster emotions in this way, it instructs the reader on the many flavors or shades of emotional experience. For example, it helps you understand the difference between envy and jealousy, or shame and guilt, boredom and frustration, and joy and gratitude.

Moreover, the book avoids a clinical perspective on these emotions. As a social scientist, Brown has usually focused on articulating lived experience. Thus, her book isn’t broken down into “good or bad” or “healthy or unhealthy” emotions. Instead, it covers the full range to help us understand and identify emotions at any stage in our lives.

Why does it matter if we can identify our emotions? I mean, haven’t I told you that emotions are in the body? Doesn’t this mean that they just need to be felt? In the direct experience, this is often true when we can tolerate them. As Brown explains in the book’s Introduction, though, “the ability to name this emotion or experience is essential to being able to process it in a productive and healing manner.”

An image with a review of Atlas of the Heart that can helps lawyers and professionals understand emotions better

This may be true for a number of reasons. Naming emotions helps us articulate them and ideally share them with others. As a meditator, I find even powerful emotions far less daunting when I can at least recognize them and understand what message they may be trying to convey. Finally, it is really helpful to understand the variety of emotions so I can look for them in others who may not be in a position to name their emotions for me.

If you want this kind of understanding, Atlas of the Heart is worth a read. If you’d rather watch, there is one season of a TV show by the same name but as of yet the show only covers about a third of the chapters from the book. Though I am usually an audiobook listener, I got the hardback as a birthday gift and love having the print copy available as a reference tool.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Washam’s Spirit of Harriet Tubman Is a Story You Know Told in a Totally New Way

It’s Black History Month, so you are bound to see articles or social media posts about Harriet Tubman. Most of us learn in elementary school that she was the most famous conductor of the Underground Railroad. I was an adult, however, before I learned the full extent of her heroism.

Not only had she endured the physical hardships of slavery, including a devastating head injury early in life, the loss of her family while in bondage, and escaped to find her freedom. That would be heroic enough in itself. Harriet Tubman, though, went back to the south more than a dozen times. At first she went to locate and free her relatives. Then she returned to assist others. And during the Civil War, she returned again to assist the Union, both as a spy and a leader of military operations.

When I learned the full scope of Tubman’s story, the emotion I recall feeling was nothing short of awe. To say her story was courageous is an understatement. Awe is a better word to describe my reaction because I could not understand the level of courage she displayed.

An image of Harriet Tubman with facts about her life and work

I could understand Tubman’s escape. As a mother, I could understand Tubman’s impulse to free her loved ones. Tubman’s willingness to continue to put herself at risk for others, so many others, was what was hard for me to understand.

Last year, a book written by meditation teacher, Spring Washam, helped me understand this better. In The Spirit of Harriet Tubman: Awakening from the Underground, Washam traces the story of Harriet Tubman in a way I had never experienced before.

Washam is not just a meditation teacher; she’s a spiritual teacher. In addition to Buddhist meditation practices, Washam also has studied shamanic traditions. Thus, in Spirit, Washam does not merely tell Tubman’s story. She channels it. This is to say, Washam tells the story as if she is channeling the spirit of Harriet Tubman.

I have written before that I tend to be pretty practical and down-to-earth. I struggled early on with meditation because I was always skeptical and on guard against anything woo-woo. When I first began reading Spirit, I struggled mightily with the idea that Washam was claiming to “channel” a great figure from American history.

An image with a quote about courage and compassion

After a while, though, I let go of my concerns about whether this was a literal truth. How many classic poems have I read in which the author claims that the words were guided by the muse? How many times have I, as a writer, felt like I didn’t fully control the writing process? Even if I wasn’t sure Washam truly channeled Tubman’s voice in a supernatural sense, I saw enough truth in what she meant to keep reading.

As I did, I felt my resistance fade because I was so immersed in the story. The experience of a firsthand account is just different, even if it is aided by a literary device like the one Washam employed. Despite my early skepticism, reading the book felt a bit like it was being told by Tubman herself. I could feel, to the extent any reader could, what Tubman had felt and understood what she might have thought. By the end of the book, Tubman’s courage made a lot more sense to me.

Why? It made sense because I stopped trying to make it rational. In many cases, courage is not a logical thing. Similarly, compassion doesn’t always make sense. Both of these things require us humans to be present with or go willingly towards suffering, risk, and difficulty.

In such situations, our brains and bodies may be screaming for us not to proceed. The reason that humans can go forward in such situations, therefore, is likely not going to be a purely logical one. Instead, it is far more likely to be one motivated by the heart. In this way, Washam’s decision to channel Tubman’s story may be the only way us humans could understand it for what it really means.

An image with a summary review of Spring Washam's Spirit of Harriet Tubman

What I also liked from Washam’s telling, though, was that she incorporated some of her own story and the story of modern life into the book. This helped me as a reader be more than temporarily inspired by Tubman’s story. Instead, it helped me consider the ways in which I could be braver, more expansive, and look for opportunities to help others in my own life and community.

Those reading for Black History Month may be reading to learn more about history, to be better citizens, or to broaden their perspectives. Even if you already know Tubman’s story, Washam’s book will do all of these things. It will also challenge you because it calls you to do more than be inspired by Tubman’s story.

Instead, The Spirit of Harriet Tubman asks you to live a piece of American history from the perspective of one of its greatest heroes. If you give the book a chance, it might change your understanding of courage and expand your capacity to demonstrate it in your own life.

If you want to cultivate courage in your meditation practice, check out our Courage Guided Meditation. In this practice, you can can sit in the presence of loved ones and others working to achieve a common goal, which may include historical figures. You can access the practice on Insight Timer or on YouTube here:

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

1 Simple Thing You Can Do to Promote Mental Health

A lot of people on the internet are talking about mental health these days. Like most things on the internet, not all of this talk is productive. Content on the internet is usually going for clicks, shares, and likes. As a result, it is targeted at producing visceral emotional reactions instead of deep introspection. Outrage at “society” or an unspecified “they” is so much more satisfying to experience than thoughtful self-reflection.

This blog, I’m sorry to say, is about promoting mindfulness. Therefore, I apologize in advance for refusing to follow the paradigm of pointing the finger elsewhere when it comes to mental health.

Yes, Culture and Workplaces Need to Change

There is no doubt that our culture and our workplaces need cultural and organizational shifts to address the mental health crises prevalent in so many industries and sectors. I have endeavored to write about those needs here in various ways and to share resources intended to help.

I do this, though, because I know that organizations and cultures don’t changes without individuals leading the effort. So, busy as I know you all are, I’m writing this post as a reminder that each of us individuals has a part to play to promote and support the mental health in our communities.

Now, maybe you are thinking, “I’m not trained to deal with mental health issues. How on earth can I help?” That’s exactly what this post is suggesting. Getting trained is one thing you can do to help. If your next question is “but what training, though?” all you have to do is keep reading.

An image with a quote about the need for change around mental health in workplaces and the need for individual accountability

1. QPR Gatekeeper Training

Did you know that the risk of suicide is higher for those in the legal profession than other professions? This may mean that the people reading this blog are more likely to encounter those at risk for suicidal ideations. Despite this and the fact that lawyers deal with people in crisis frequently, most of us never got training for how to respond to someone at risk for suicide.

QPR Gatekeeper Training does just that. In a 60-minute webinar, you can learn to identify the risk factors for suicide, how to detect if someone is expressing a risk to you, and strategies for how to respond.

Though many of us may feel that these situations are unlikely to happen, many of us may know people who have attempted or died by suicide. While this is an intense topic, I can speak from first hand experience that it is reassuring to at least know the right steps to take and things to say if someone close to you is in need of support.

2. Mental Health First Aid

If you are in a position to make a bigger investment of time and money, another worthwhile program is Mental Health First Aid Training. This program includes a few hours of self-paced work, a day-long seminar, available live or online, and a written examination.

Mental Health First Aid truly is about learning to handle and offer first line support to individuals who may be dealing with a variety of mental health conditions. The purpose of this training is to help lay individuals support and stabilize individuals so that they can locate and seek support from trained professionals.

An image with 3 options for mental health training

With the training, you will learn how to approach, listen, and respond to individuals who may have a variety of mental health challenges. You will learn how to assess the varying levels of risk and respond appropriately to promote the safety and well-being of everyone involved.

The Mental Health First Aid website has a searchable directory with teachers who offer the course live and online at various rates and locations. If you have a day to offer, the program is well worth your time.

3. SHRM Mental Health Ally Certificate

Since I practice in, among other things, employment law, I got SHRM (“Society for Human Resources Management”) certified last year and am active with my local SHRM chapter. This means that I am now responsible for completing my annual CLE requirements as well as professional development credits (“PDCs”) for SHRM.

The good news is that SHRM’s Workplace Mental Health Ally Certificate program earns PDCs and is otherwise an excellent use of time. SHRM’s Mental Health Ally program is similar in scope to Mental Health First Aid, but it is applied directly to workplace situations.

Unlike Mental Health First Aid, however, the Mental Health Ally Certificate program is entirely self-paced. It is a series of seven interactive online programs that address mental health conditions which may arise in the workplace as well as strategies for appropriate responses. One thing I especially liked about the program was that the final program included instruction in motivational interviewing, a research-backed intervention aimed at facilitating others to make health choices.

An image with a quote about the need for mental health support

Conclusion

If you are too busy to consider any of these options, don’t take this blog post as a homework assignment. As a lawyer, I know that many of us are too busy to seek additional training just to get a gold star for citizenship. As someone who has both given and received support in the midst of a mental health crisis, I can say for sure that the time and money is worthwhile because it literally could save a life.

Along the same lines, if you are in a position of leadership in your bar association, company, or other organization, you could consider offering or providing these program to your members or employees. Years ago, my state bar association made QPR Gatekeeper training available for free and for CLE credit and it was well-attended and well-received.

Our culture and workplaces are in need of a shift to become more supportive of individuals facing mental health challenges. Part of that shift, though, can and must include greater awareness and understanding of individual actors. Getting trained is one simple thing you can do to promote mental health in your workplace, family, and community.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Andre 3000 Is My Fav New Spiritual Teacher

Cover image for blog post about the new age album from Andre 3000 which is great for meditation

I was in college in the early 2000’s. Outkast was such a big deal at that time that it was almost impossible to walk into any campus community space without seeing their videos on TV. I’m not a visual person but the image of the iconic video from “Hey Ya!” playing on the TV in the student gym is burned in my mind.

Outkast was a rap group, but that video and song made it abundantly clear that the group’s constituents, Big Boi and Andre 3000, weren’t overly concerned with genre. Given this, I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised by Andre 3000’s latest album but I admit that I absolutely have been.

If we had to put Outkast and Andre 3000 in a genre category, the best categorization would probably be rap, right? Well, what kind of album did Andre just release? A new age flute album entitled New Blue Sun.

This is not a joke, but when I first read about this I swear that I grinned from ear to ear. I wasn’t laughing at Andre. Far from it, I was elated for him. It appears that he became somewhat obsessed with the flute, started doing pop up concerts, and let himself play enough to generate an entire album.

An image with a quote that discusses how spiritual matters cannot always be predicted

New age is not my normal genre, but I decided to give New Blue Sun a listen during my meditation sessions. The titles alone made the experience worthwhile. The first track is called “I swear, I Really Wanted To Make A ‘Rap’ Album But This Is Literally The Way The Wind Blew Me This Time .”

I’m not a musician. At best, I am an avid car/shower singer and a failed pianist. As a writer, though, that title spoke to me so deeply. How many times had I sat down to write one thing only to see some other totally different thing emerge? And how many times had I come up with something great just because I let myself play and have fun?

I am here to say that New Blue Sun is one of those great things that comes from having fun. Unlike some of Andre’s prior work with Outkast, I would say it fits squarely within the new age genre. It’s all instrumental and the vibes are similar to what you’d get from artists like Enigma, Enya, or Deuter.

But what I like best is that you can hear Andre playing with sound. Flute is present on most tracks, but it is used in so many ways you may not always realize it is the sound from a flute. You can also hear other sounds blended in throughout, such as shells rattling.

An image with a recommendation for meditation music from Andre 3000's album New Blue Sun

Though the tracks have a feeling of being random, Andre’s skill with sound is apparent. The tracks come together in the end to create a cohesive whole and convey an emotion. The changing quality of the tracks, however, is what I like best.

Because so many varieties of sound, rhythm, tone, and mood are used in each track, the album is perfect for meditation. The music in general is calm and introspective, but the shifts and changes help keep your attention.

In fact, my favorite track for starting a meditation session is “Ninety Three ‘Til Infinity And Beyonce.” That track starts with beats perfectly synced up to box breathing and enables deep relaxation in less than 3 minutes.

Does New Blue Sun signify that Andre 3000 may defy expectations entirely by venturing beyond the bounds of music into the world of spiritual teaching? I don’t know. Rumors are that a new Outkast album may happen first and I personally can’t wait to see what might come from that.

In truth, I don’t expect Andre 3000 to start a profile on Insight Timer any time soon or to become the next Oprah. But his album teaches a spiritual lesson for many lawyers out there and anyone who wants to live a creative life.

An image with a review of Andre 3000's spiritual and unique music in New Blue Sun

The lesson is that sometimes you can’t predict where the wind will blow you. You can’t control what comes out when you start to make things. This can be scary and frustrating, but it can also be worthwhile. New Blue Sun shows us it is possible to see beyond the expectations set by others and ourselves. And when we do something totally unexpected but also good can emerge.

As I start my new year in a new law firm, I for one am thrilled to have Andre 3000’s New Blue Sun as an example of the beauty can emerge when you learn to just play with life.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

A Holiday Gift for Readers: New Law Practice e-Book

It’s that time of year when you may be getting winter coats and clothes out of the closet. If you are lucky, you may find a dollar or too in a pocket of one of your coats. Recently, I had the writing equivalent of that experience.

I was perusing the blog’s pages to check on links from guest posts I had written to see if they were still current. I saw that my old posts for Ms. JD were no longer available on their blog because they revamped their website. As a teacher of mindfulness, it was an opportunity to reflect on impermanence. Apparently even aspects of the internet are temporary.

I was sad for a minute and thought “wow, has it really been 5 years since I wrote those posts?” Indeed, it has and it’s closer to six for the early ones. But then I remembered something awesome.

In 2020, when I first started experimenting with Canva and just before I decided to launch this blog, I had created an e-book with my Ms. JD posts. I had originally intended it for another group, MothersEsquire, with which I had been involved and wrote for previously. Then I got invited to write a chapter for the #Networked book, started my meditation teacher training, and launched the blog.

In short, I forgot entirely about the e-book and just let it sit. That’s how writing projects sometimes go. You set them aside for a while as you focus on something else. It’s been a great three years and, with the publication of 2 other books and the continued growth of the blog.

Though all of these wonderful things may have provided an excuse to forget about the e-book, they also presented a wonderful opportunity to celebrate. I started writing for Ms. JD almost 6 years ago and had no plans, no goal, and no confidence that my writing would go anywhere.

Many lawyers and other professionals ask me about writing frequently. They express that they want to write more but are afraid to get started. I’m sharing the e-book for any people who might want to see how a single blog post a month can add to something bigger.

In addition, the e-book has some good things in it. It is aimed at young women lawyers because that is Ms. JD’s mission and the focus of their blog. However, it may have some ideas, practice tips, and humor for any lawyer or working professional. It addresses topics like:

the best career advice I ever received;
work-life balance and dispelling the “how do you do it all” myth;
dealing with microaggressions as a female lawyer;
establishing fitness and meditation habits;
networking; and
leadership and mentorship.

To download and read the e-book or share it with someone else, you can find it here. While you are there, check out the other free downloads on the resources page, including the Meditation Habit Worksheet, Heart of Loving-Kindness Practice Guide, Pause and Begin Again e-book, and Personal Well-Being Worksheet.

Happy holidays to all!

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

5 Books to Help You Prepare Emotionally for Election Year

I don’t usually talk about politics or religion on this blog very often, but election year is upon us. I am careful about political discussion here, and it’s more than just the desire to not make anyone mad. Part of what I do as a mindfulness teacher is debunk myths and misconceptions about mindfulness practices. Some of the myths I have encountered have been about the kind of people who are able to benefit from meditation.

As I discussed last week, it’s easy to get caught into the trap of identity about the kinds of people we are. When I teach mindfulness, therefore, sometimes I find myself subtly hinting at the idea that identity is not nearly as stable as we’d all like to think. But I usually try to avoid launching into a direct attack on identity because that can be pretty scary.

Election year is tough. Are you ready?

When you talk about politics and religion, you are bound to encounter identity. In America right now, lots of us may feel like our identities are under attack. We may feel like we have to fight to protect who we are and to save the country or state or city we know and love. I know this is a hard place to be and so I try to be respectful and give people time to consider the impact of their identity on their own terms and in their own time.

But here are the facts. The last two election cycles in the United States have been brutal. The next election coming in 2024 doesn’t look like it is going to be any easier. As someone with personal experience letting politics drive me crazy, I don’t judge anyone who feels this way.

Having been tossed about by polarized politics in America for years now, I started to wonder whether there is a better way. I don’t claim that this post offers the better way. That is, I don’t know that there is one way to do things better. In truth, I think there may be many better ways.

Cover image with tips about talking about politics and how mindfulness can help

How to get ready for election year

What has been the better way for me? Well, it has been trying to learn how to judge a little bit less when it comes to politics. When I say this, I don’t mean to disengage. I still vote- even in primaries and especially in local races. I still donate. I pay attention to the issues and I call my representatives. However, the internal reactions- to elected officials, my neighbors, and the situation – I have had to learn to relax to save my own sanity.

Obviously, sticking with my meditation practice has been an essential component to this solution. Calming down and becoming aware of thoughts is a fundamental step to being mindful of judgments. But I noticed that I had been engaging in another form of mind training over the last year or so. I looked at my reading list and I saw a pattern of books that I had read (or read again) to help me watch my judgments this election year.

Here are the 5 books that have helped me understand things a bit better so I could judge a bit less and have more peace in the coming election year.

Image listing 5 books to help you prepare emotionally for election year

1. Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown

I‘ve talked about loneliness a few times on this blog. Has it ever occurred to you that political polarization is happening at a time when loneliness is being recognized as a public health crisis? Sure, there are other factors at work here too, but Brown makes an interesting point in Braving the Wilderness (paid link).

She helps us see that what we want as humans – belonging and connection – is the exact opposite of what we find when we polarize and segregate ourselves. The point here is not to judge anyone for wanting a safe space with like-minded individuals, but instead to help us reevaluate how we can make spaces truly safe for all. If you need some courage or help eliminating shame and dehumanizing speech from your vocabulary (and trust me most of us do) check this book out.

2. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

So, you may be thinking, “fine I agree that we all want connection, but how can I possibly relate to people with whom I can’t even talk?” I’m not telling you to rush into protracted debates with people on the opposite end of the political spectrum. Nonviolent Communication, though, may help you learn some skills so you can understand people better (paid link).

This book is about owning and respecting our human needs and interests and doing the same for others. This sounds simple but it’s something you will probably hardly ever hear in ordinary communication at work and at home. Some of the references in this book are a bit dated, but the practices remain valuable and practical today.

3. Against Empathy by Paul Bloom

This one may sound surprising in this context. Nonviolent Communication, which I just recommended, strongly encourages empathy as a tool for communication. And, in fact, it can be. As Bloom points out in Against Empathy, though, it can also become a block to it. This book really isn’t against empathy in all cases. Rather, Bloom argues instead that empathy can create problems for us in moral decision-making.

Why? Well, in part because empathy “spotlights” certain individuals. Depending on our morality, we may disagree on who deserves the spotlight. Bloom argues instead for a “rational compassion” to guide our moral and policy decisions. As a teacher of compassion, I’m certainly inclined to agree. This book can help you see how emotions may come up in morality and politics in ways you may not have noticed before. That awareness may help you understand better how others process things so you can judge less and understand more.

Image with a quote about how judging less can aid communication and connection during election year

4. Why We’re Polarized by Ezra Klein

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but I have to admit that I recommend it with some hesitancy. This book didn’t make me feel better exactly, but it definitely helped me judge others different from me less. In Why We’re Polarized, the Vox founder did what he does best: he explains polarization (paid link). In particular, he explains why American politics as a system tends toward polarization and how that system polarizes all of us individuals in turn.

It examines the government structure, the parties as organizations, American history, and even the media to explain how polarization has evolved. Did this book change my political beliefs? No, not at all. Did it help me understand the factors that shaped my beliefs better? Absolutely. And it helped me consider how my fellow citizens are subject to the very same forces.

5. Love Your Enemies by Sharon Salzberg & Robert Thurman

Even if you learn to talk nicer and you understand more, the reality remains that people can still piss you off. That’s why the final book, Love Your Enemies, is about how to not get so pissed off all the time (paid link). Authors, Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman, say it is about loving enemies, but make no mistake it is really mostly about loving yourself.

Quite appropriately, the book starts off by talking about “external enemies” – the other people in our families, workplaces, and communities who drive us nuts. But you will be surprised to see how much of this is devoted to getting clear on your own pain and frustration and learning to care for it. Like I’ve discussed before when talking about compassion, this book is not about being a doormat. Instead, it’s about being brave enough to be kind in a world that sometimes isn’t.

These are the books that have helped me prepare to judge less, stay kind, without checking out too much during the next election year. As I said before, this isn’t an exhaustive list. What books would you add to this list? What other resources or practices are helping you stay steady these days?

The links to the books mentioned in this post are affiliate links. The reviews are unsponsored and sincere but the link to Amazon is paid.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Insights from an Influencer? Yung Pueblo Will Change Your Mind

If I were to tell you that an Instagram influencer under 40 is a source of healing and wisdom for millions of people, you’d probably be skeptical. Instagram is the source of social comparison and makeup how-to videos. It’s not where people interested in meditation (like I am and you are) traditionally go to find wisdom.

Maybe some of that is true, but a big exception to this rule is Yung Pueblo (Diego Perez). Perez is a former community organizer and now famed writer who has published 3 books (with a fourth on the way) and has a following on Instagram exceeding two million.

Who Is Yung Pueblo?

He healed himself through meditation after struggling with emotional turmoil, conflict, and addiction. Then he started sharing the insights he gleaned from the practice in short poem-like verses on Instagram.

At the time, this was almost unheard of on Instagram. That platform is filled with glossy and well-manicured photos of celebrities and curated video content meant to sell. Against this backdrop, though, you can almost see how someone bold enough to share only a white background and simple text might stand out.

And stand out they did. Yung Pueblo – writing for “young people” – got the attention of millions of followers and ultimately secured a book deal. How did he garner this attention? With insights. Pure and simple.

Image of person meditating on the beach with a social media post that says "Yung Pueblo talks about meditation but he teaches insights. He gives you a reason to stop scrolling for a moment and ponder."

What Yung Pueblo Can Teach You about Meditation

Insights? Maybe you’re reading this and you feel like it’s a let down but I assure you it’s not. I haven’t written much about insights on this blog because they are hard to describe. You can’t really meditate to get a particular insight. Instead, if you do vipassana (“insight”) meditation, you often just sit with very little structure and await the arrival of wisdom.

In many cases, these insights are so basic that you could easily mistake them as merely mundane or insignificant thoughts. But, when you slow down in the course of meditation, you realize that they are more than statements of the obvious. Instead, they are acknowledgments of fundamental truths that you may normally overlook in your busy daily life.

Insights from Yung Pueblo

For instance, here’s this little gem from Perez’s first book Inward

reminder:

you can love people and

simultaneously not allow

them to harm you.

Many of us logically know that this is true, but who doesn’t need a reminder about boundaries every now and then? I mean, how easy it is to get love confused with obligation or to not know how to balance self-compassion and compassion for others?

What Meditation Offers Us

Or how about this understated little gem that is so easy to forget:

I am

at my

strongest

when

I am calm

Now that you’ve prepared a bit, try this one on for size:

self-love is doing the work

we need to be free

Boom.

Yung Pueblo Offers Fresh Simplicity

Again, these are hopefully obvious to most of us. But imagine you saw this on Instagram after scrolling for minutes to avoid thinking about some stressful situation at work. Then think how you would respond. In my imagination, I’d double tap and probably comment with something like a “100” emoji followed by a few flames.

Now imagine that you follow and have more of these statements showing up in your feed on a regular basis. Who couldn’t use reminders like these? Of course, we all can. Though meditation is a great way to see insights in our own lives, it never hurts to have some support from other wise people.

Image sharing the books of Yung Pueblo on mindfulness and meditation

Meditation and Mindfulness Simplified

More recently, though, Yung Pueblo has shown he can offer even more than the modern-day equivalent of The Tao Te Ching. In Lighter, Yung Pueblo offers a work in full prose that is part memoir and part self-help. He shares his story as a first generation American after his parents emigrated from Ecuador. He details his struggle with addiction and how meditation helped him heal. And he even offers insights about how mindfulness can help us achieve positive social change and healing across the world.

This book was stylistically different than the others but it offered many of the same insights you’ll see in Yung Pueblo’s other works. In general, Yung Pueblo’s work doesn’t focus on meditation practice, but it gives you a clear idea about why you might want to meditate. He’s not a meditation teacher per se and doesn’t describe himself that way, but I wouldn’t call it a stretch to call him a teacher of insights.

Books from Yung Pueblo

This is not to say that I think you could read Yung Pueblo as a substitute for meditation practice. But his gentle reminders to let go of what you don’t need and pursue what really matters can sure help. Whether you meditate or not, Yung Pueblo offers a wisdom that is well beyond his years. For insights, healing, and calm clarity, find him on Instagram or check out his books:

Founder’s Note: I share these books because I sincerely enjoyed them. The links to the books are paid affiliate links through the Amazon Associates program.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Come Hang Out with the Mindfulness in Law Society

Over the years, my networking approach has generally not been a sophisticated one. I join things and show up and eventually someone encourages me to get more involved. There have been times when I have declined opportunities, but I have said “sure” far more often.

I’ll admit that I have sometimes found myself exasperated and been forced to scale back. In general, though, this openness has served me very well.To my great satisfaction, this pattern repeated itself again with the Mindfulness in Law Society.

How I Found the Mindfulness in Law Society

I have been a member of this group for several years, but have not been heavily involved until recently. A few years ago, a fellow lawyer reached out and asked me to lead a meditation for a young lawyers program for the American Bar Association. As it turns out, that lawyer, Christina Sava, is also involved with MILS.

She reached out again to see if I’d be interested in joining the roster of teachers for the twice weekly guided meditations that MILS offers. This was an easy “sure” but I added something more.

I checked out the local chapters for MILS and saw none in Kentucky or Ohio. Since I am already active with wellness committees for my state and local bars here, I decided to start a local chapter for MILS in the Greater Cincinnati Area.

Image showing some of the virtual meditation sits with the Mindfulness in Law Society

Why You Should Hang Out with the Mindfulness in Law Society

So, what I am I asking of you? Nothing crazy; maybe just to consider my unsophisticated networking approach of showing up. The virtual sits for MILS are held twice weekly, on Mondays at 3 PM EST and Wednesdays at 5 PM. They are open to anyone in the legal profession (which is defined broadly and includes students and paralegals).

In addition, people from across and outside of the United States participate in the virtual sits. I have stressed the value of meditation in a group before and I will say it again: it helps.

Virtual groups are not nearly the same as in-person groups but they are far better than no group at all. I will be guiding on the 2nd Monday at 3 PM EST and the 3rd Wednesday at 5 PM EST, so come and hang out.

A Mindfulness Group for Lawyers

And, if you are in the Cincinnati area, interested in mindfulness, and in the legal profession, please reach out via email or on LinkedIn if you would like to help form and launch the chapter. You don’t have to be a meditation teacher or even an experienced meditator. Someone who cares about mental health in the legal profession is all we need.

I know we are all too busy. I also know that it’s hard to show up with a group of people you don’t know. To find a meditation community, though, that’s often the only choice. As hard as it can be to work up the courage, it’s not a bad thing.

Meeting new people and joining new groups is a great way to network, build community, and learn mindfulness. Now, it seems I am the person encouraging you to get more involved. All you have to do is say “sure.”

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Meditation Teacher Sharon Salzberg Helps Us Bring Mindfulness Into Real Life

I have read a lot of books on mindfulness and followed many meditation teachers over the years. Some help me understand the practice of meditation better. Some help me understand myself better. But Sharon Salzberg has helped me understand life better.

Sharon Salzberg is one of the most well-known teachers of mindfulness in the world. She has been teaching for more than four decades, is a founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, the author of numerous books (which I’ll mention below), and the host of the wildly popular Metta Hour podcast. This is a fantastic resume to be sure, but it’s not what I like most about Salzberg.

Salzberg Makes Mindfulness Accessible

What I like most is that, despite this resume, Salzberg’s teachings don’t come across as esoteric, ethereal, or even professorial. They are down-to-earth, practical, and human. If you read her books or listen to her podcast, it’s immediately clear that Salzberg knows her stuff but she always talks to you and never at you.

In fact, though I certainly have experienced a mind and heart expansion from reading Salzberg’s works, reading them didn’t feel like being taught. Instead, reading Salzberg’s books felt more like talking about life with a wise friend or good neighbor.

Salzberg on Loving-Kindness Meditation

If you are reading this blog, the odds are that you have heard of Sharon Salzberg and you may have already encountered some of her works. What you may not realize and what I didn’t appreciate until I sat down to write this post is how extensive and broadly applicable her work was.

Salzberg is perhaps most well-known for her teachings on my favorite meditation practice, loving-kindness. But what I hope you get from this post is that her work can help you learn how to live loving-kindness too.

Meditation Books from Sharon Salzberg

To more clearly illustrate what I am talking about here, I provide a few summaries of the books from Sharon Salzberg that I have enjoyed the most:

Loving-Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

This is a book that explains the practice of loving-kindness in depth. It discusses each aspect of the practice to support the process of opening the heart more broadly. As I explain in my own book, loving-kindness is a dynamic practice that includes both body awareness, mental imagery, and emotional understanding. This book breaks the practice down in a simple way to help support you in your practice.

Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves & the World

This book is for anyone seeking stability and inspiration to keep working to make the world a better place. I read this book years ago as I was reeling from the bruising 2020 election and I can’t tell you the healing it brought me. It explains how mindfulness can be a stabilizing force in the work towards change and how compassion can inspire action even amid fear. She also offers more resources relating to political action and election stress on her website which is bound to be helpful to many as we head into a new election cycle.

Books Applying Mindfulness to Real Life

In addition to her books teaching meditation practices, Sharon Salzberg also has books applying mindfulness to life.

Real Happiness at Work: Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement & Peace

The goal of this blog is to help lawyers and professionals not just learn about meditation but bring mindfulness into their lives and work. That’s the goal of this book from Salzberg too. It embeds mindfulness concepts and practices into the life of work. What I like best are the micro practices sprinkled into every chapter to help you incorporate mindfulness into your work regardless of your experience (or lack thereof) with meditation practice.

Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness & Freedom

This is Salzberg’s latest book. There are many teachers who talk about the process of contracting or tightening during difficulty, including Tara Brach. This book, though, explains how easy it is to do that habitually throughout our lives. It offers teachings about how to open back up again to get what we actually want out of life: meaning, connection, and peace. In a time when the world seems intent on making us afraid and isolated, this book will help you rebalance again towards hope and calm.

Looking for More Meditation Instruction?

If you are interested in learning more, Salzberg frequently offers special events and courses where students can learn more. Fortunately, we can expect to see more from Salzberg. In her latest book, Real Life, Salzberg discussed the fact that she is going to be devoting more of her time to writing. This has already proven to be fruitful, with the recent release of a 10^th anniversary edition of her book, Love Your Enemies, which I discuss here.

Salzberg is a teacher who has made mindfulness practices accessible and approachable to thousands of people around the world. Whether you do a few of her guided meditations or do a deep dive into all of her books, you are bound to learn not just about mindfulness, but also some skills for life.

Founder’s Note: The links to the books discussed here are paid through the Amazon affiliates program. The reviews and recommendations to all books and the author are unpaid and are genuine and sincere.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Book Review: The Origins of You May Help Your Inner Child Heal and Grow

Editor’s Note: Thanks to the author Vienna Pharaon who provided permission to use the cover for this post. She has a huge following on Instagram and took the time to respond to my request for permission with approval and graciousness.

One of the biggest stereotypes I encounter teaching lawyers about mindfulness is the fear that meditation will cause you to turn into a hippy obsessed with your inner child. I’ve written several times that this isn’t true. In fact, I have experienced the opposite and I proudly say that mindfulness has helped to make me a badass lawyer.

But, I have to be clear about something. That inner child which people like to mock all the time? Well, it’s real. The sooner you accept that and learn to embrace it, the better off you’ll be. In fact, the badassery I claim my mindfulness practice has given me emerged when I accepted my inner child and learned to take better care of her.

This is what The Origins of You, a book by Vienna Pharaon, intends to help you do. Despite her many followers on Instagram and the popularity of the book, I didn’t know what it was about when I borrowed it from my library. I had long been a fan of considering one’s origin story, perhaps because I write so much and understand the teaching value of a good story. So, it was the word “origins” that first got my attention.

Pharaon, a marriage and family therapist, never uses the word “inner child” in The Origins of You. Instead, she opts to use the term “wound” to describe the many injuries that each of us humans tend to experience in life and carry around with us as adults. Perhaps we experienced a “prioritization” wound because we experienced neglect or a “safety” wound if we experienced an injury or were treated recklessly.

While this linguistic choice makes sense from the standpoint of reducing identification with the past experience for the purposes of understanding it better, the presence of a wound implies a subject who was wounded. The thing I like about the book, however, is that it helps the reader understand that the inner child—even a wounded inner child—can grow up and heal. And who is the person who can help that child do this? Well, it’s you.

The book doesn’t just explain the variety of wounds that we ordinary people can walk around with and unconsciously try to protect every day. It also offers strategies for becoming aware of them, learning to face them, and ultimately to heal them. It shows how therapy, subtle changes in relationships, new styles of communication, and even practices like meditation can assist in that process.

As a whole, I found the book to be highly accessible (especially in contrast to other works that address healing from traumatic life experiences), practical, and useful to a broad variety of people. The book also does not only focus solely on traumatic experiences, but also explains how a range of life experiences (like a car accident or a medical procedure) can leave us feeling wounded and affect our lives for years to come.

In addition, I respected the balance that Pharaon offers in recognizing that not all personal wounds are necessarily anyone’s fault. The other common trope that goes with the “inner child” is the idea that personal healing inevitably causes us to blame our parents. As Pharaon acknowledges, though, sometimes wounds happen even when our parents or other caregivers in our life are doing their best or are affected by social or economic factors outside of their control. Instead of blame, the book offers high accountability, guided reflection in a way that doesn’t feel so lonely, and tools for positive change.

My one concern is not something that should cause anyone to avoid the book, but is more of a heads up for those who read it and try the practices. The book includes several guided meditations intended as practices to help readers face and heal their wounds. I found the practices to be well-crafted and many appeared to be rooted in research-based practices with which I was familiar.

People new to mindfulness, however, might find them challenging to do on their own. As I have written before, meditation may allow traumatic memories and experiences to arise and past trauma can make focus and stability during meditation a challenge. For those new to healing or new to the practice of meditation, give yourself ample time or consider seeking support before doing the practices.

Overall, The Origins of You is a well-written and accessible book full of practical tools and clear analysis of the wounds that trouble so many of us. Though most examples in the book address personal relationships, lawyers could easily benefit from it given how critical personal relationships are to law practice. If you want to learn more about yourself or the other people in your life, check out The Origins of You for some helpful tools for learning how to take better care of your inner child to help you be the adult you want to be.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media: