I have written before that mindfulness meditation has helped me manage overthinking. But I haven’t yet talked about the steps I take to deal with a specific attack of rumination.
When I first started meditating, I had pretty severe issues with thoughts. I experienced racing thoughts on a regular basis. Sometimes I let them spiral so much that I literally sat frozen in fear, with no idea how to make it all stop.
After years of meditation, that has calmed down. I can see anxiety coming and catch it much earlier. Recently, I realized that a vague spinning of my mind with no clear thoughts was the initial phase of overthinking. When I see this arise, I know meditation is the answer.
Because overthinking is a common problem for lawyers, this post will walk through the meditation steps that help me deal with it.
Recognize Overthinking and Take Action to Stop It
I have written before that not every situation calls for mindfulness. Sometimes, too much energy or too many rapid thoughts mean I have to try something else. Even so, over the years I have come to see that there are many situations in which meditation really helps.
The calling card for me which says it’s time to sit is what I will call the “vague thinking mind.” This is when I can feel myself passively thinking but without a clear object. My mind feels like the spinning wheel that shows up on your laptop when it’s trying to load. At the same time, though, I can feel that I am not in a great mood and generally feel ill at ease.
These are admittedly subtle cues. It took me years to identify them. After years of mindfulness practice, I now know that it is phase 1 of an attack of anxiety and rumination. Though this process is largely mental, I have come to see that my thinking is a symptom of fear.
When my thoughts are nonspecific but won’t stop, that’s a clear sign my thinking is not useful or productive.
Meditation Can Calm the Mind without Digging into Thoughts
Lawyers may struggle with this next one. Instead of poking and prodding to try to make my thoughts make sense, it works a lot better to take a break from them. Of course, meditation does not mean we banish all of our thoughts. If you are new to mindfulness, you can’t expect to sit down and immediately have a spotless mind.
I, however, have been practicing for more than a decade. I know my mind very well. Though my mind used to be overactive in the past, it has now slowed down to bearable levels. In addition, I know that after a few minutes of breath focus, my mind will eventually cool it.
This gives me a chance to sit and rest for a moment. My once foggy brain suddenly feels clear. It stops spinning and I can see what’s really going on.
Notice here that I am not saying that I meditate and immediately ask myself what my deal is. I know this can be a difficult habit for lawyers to break. If you can, resist the urge to dig into the thoughts and put them under an internal microscope. I also don’t judge myself or tell myself to cut it out.
Instead, I give my mind another job to do – focus on the breath. That helps me calm down and take a rest from the spinning wheels.
Greet Your Emotions with Mindfulness
Have you ever been upset about a problem and it felt overwhelming? Then you calmed down and suddenly you could see how to fix it? Lawyers probably have a lot of experience with this. In much the same way, when I calm down in meditation I feel like I can handle things. In fact, I usually feel like I can handle almost anything that comes up.
There’s a simple word for this. It’s safety. When I meditate and calm down enough, I feel safe again. That safety gives me confidence.
With safety restored and the spinning wheel in my mind paused, I can parse through what is bugging me. Again, I don’t dig into this directly. My mind and body usually tell me what they need. They may supply thoughts or memories about something that has bothered me.
More likely than not, emotions may arise in my heart or belly. My years of practice serve me well here. I just sit with them and feel. This isn’t always pleasant but it doesn’t last too long. I let them come, deliver their message, and go.
As someone with anxiety, these emotions are usually some variety of fear. Sometimes loneliness, boredom, frustration, or sadness make an appearance.
Care for the Fear Underlying the Overthinking
Then I usually finish my sit with some form of heart (or kindness) practice. Most of the time it is a variety of loving-kindness. More recently, and especially with my episodes of anxiety thinking mind, I have focused a lot on compassion for myself.
I wish myself well, offering phrases like these:
- May I experience belonging;
- May I take care of myself;
- May my suffering come to an end;
- May I accept my own goodness; o
- May I greet my life with joy;
- May I ask for and accept help;
- May I remember goodness; and
- May I trust myself.
Sure, these phrases are soft and may seem awkward to many lawyers. They are vulnerable. Years ago, I probably wouldn’t have been brave enough to share them with anyone. But if you say these phrases to yourself enough, you start to believe them.
The long story short here is that I respond to my own emotions and all my mental worry with care. Instead of judgment, I respond with kindness. I don’t make myself false promises. These aren’t affirmations that life will always be rosy and my fears will never materialize.
Instead, they are restatements of my values and new commitments to them. In their own way, they are like a tiny plan b. If my worst fears do arise, how I will get through it? With kindness and trust in myself and by seeking out and accepting help from others.
This Is How Meditation Can Help Lawyers Tend to Overthinking
This is how meditation helps me fight off overthinking. Sure, this takes some time and practice. Most of my mindfulness sessions are about thirty minutes. And I have practiced this for over a decade. But this time is usually well spent.
Not only do I get my mindfulness practice done for the day. I get to spend the rest of my time more clear-headed and less worried. This means I can engage more directly in whatever activities I have planned for the day. It also means I can be totally present for the good thing and joyful moments that arise.
If you are dealing with overthinking that is more intense, other strategies may be necessary before you can tolerate sitting meditation. That’s okay. If you give yourself time and patience, you eventually will be able to see the signs of anxiety and rumination earlier and earlier. And then you can figure out how meditation can support you best as you deal with it.
As a warning to the lawyers out there, the point here is not perfection. The point here is not to banish all thoughts. Instead, the point is to stay present in our lives with an open heart even though our minds struggle to cope with the reality of our lives. As this post shows, though, we can learn to do that and meditation can help.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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