These days, part of being a lawyer is learning how to manage your mental health in a busy schedule. The last few weeks have been pretty hectic for me. Billable hours demands shot up rapidly. I had extra back to school meetings to attend for my kids. And I am still working through the final steps on my first novel.
In the midst of all of this, it can be hard to find time for fun and personal satisfaction. That’s why this post is about why lawyers should plan their fun and build it into their calendars.
Lawyers Are Too Busy Not to Plan Ahead
Lawyers are busy people and sometimes this can get in the way of planning fun things for ourselves. It’s easy to think of activities done purely for our personal enjoyment as non-priorities. After all, client demands, billable hours, and family obligations have big claims on our time and attention.
If this is taken to the extreme, though, lawyers will never make time for ourselves. It’s not like the obligations above truly ever stop. However, the only way to make them pause it to set personal boundaries.
In my experience, it’s not enough to set a weak boundary by merely setting a passive intention to make time for yourself. Instead, it works better to set a firm boundary by making real plans. This means, buying the tickets, marking the event on your calendar, and committing to plans with friends or loved ones.
As a young lawyer, I struggled with this a lot because I worried that I would get busy and have to break my plans. This may have happened once or twice over the years, but it was usually pretty rare. Why? Because lawyers manipulate schedules every day under time pressure to get the job done. If a conflict arose that threatened my big plans, I was usually able to navigate it.
Planning Ahead Means You Have Something Fun to Look Forward To
Now, you may be thinking that planning fun sounds like a lot of work in the calendar of a busy lawyer. You are right. But the effort is worth it. The other good news about planning ahead is that it gives you something to look forward to.
This is more important than you may realize. As an example, I have two concerts with my favorite singers coming up this week. I put these concerts on my personal and work calendars to make sure I got out of the office on time. Though that decision was practical, it had a nice side effect.
Every time I looked at my calendar to check a date for a hearing or deposition, I saw my reminder that the concerts were getting closer. Each time I saw this, I smiled and felt happy and excited.
My favorite time management expert, Laura Vanderkam, would say this is a great benefit of future planning. By doing this, we don’t just get to enjoy the event itself. Instead, we get to enjoy the anticipation as we look forward to it too.
For lawyers who have calendars that are often filled with things that are not happy or fun, the impact of this is huge. We can’t always control how our work days go, but with planning we can build in joy into our evenings and days off.
A Simple Way for Lawyers to Plan Their Fun
I’ll be honest. Though I generally love my law practice, there are certain aspects that are really stressful. One of the ways I have learned to cope with this what I call the “bookend” approach.
By this, I mean that where possible I sandwich difficult things on may calendar with good things. In most situations, I find it works best to start with prioritizing self-care and end with something fun or celebratory.
As an example, if I have a trial or hearing coming up I will prioritize my personal self-care routines as much as possible. For me, this of course means meditation, exercise, and sleep. In some situations, I may also prepare some meals ahead to give myself a break from trial prep and give myself one less chore at home during the week of trial.
Then, after the difficult period is over, I plan something nice for myself. Sometimes this is big and sometimes this is small. I may take the day off to go take a long hike or make plans to see a movie or a show. Or maybe I will just plan to cook a new recipe or make reservations at a great restaurant.
A Small Shift for More Fun
Now, some lawyers may be reading this and think “this is not earth shattering.” To be honest, that’s what I hope you think. Planning good things is really just part of a good life. If you are already doing this regularly, you may not need to do anything new or different.
As I mentioned, though, many lawyers don’t do this regularly or fall out of the habit of doing so. I was like that years ago, especially when my kids were little. It always felt like I had no energy and no time.
What I learned when I paid more attention, was that I had time but I needed to exert more agency over it. The big shift for me was the recognition that fun, relaxation, and new experiences were priorities.
After a few attempts, I saw that all the time and effort for fun experiences was well worth it. For example, though a concert might take time, travel, or keep me up past my bedtime, it also usually gave me an experience of community and memories I could not forget.
This strategy–planning fun things–is definitely a small shift, but it is one that can make a big difference for lawyers.
Go Make a Plan for Something Fun
I don’t argue that everything in life can or should be planned. Certainly, lawyers just like everyone else can use some time for surprises and spontaneity. But the truth is that busy people have to plan if they want to prioritize things that matter to them. Fun should matter to lawyers because’ it’s essential for our mental health. I hope this post helps you make more room in your calendar for fun. ‘
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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