I’m presenting a new CLE for Lawline today on dealing with difficult people in law practice. This is something that most lawyers come to experience at some point in their practice.
As I wrote last week, I have practiced with and against many fine lawyers in my years of practice. In fact, the majority of the attorneys I have worked with have been wonderful people.
Unfortunately, though the attorneys who have behaved badly are among the minority in my experience, they have created more than their fair share of stress and difficulty.
Difficult People in Law Practice
Even so, in the presentation I make an effort to separate the people from the behavior. I focus instead on offering strategies rooted in mindfulness and compassion that can help support one’s mental health and well-being when dealing with difficult cases.
I will share more about this in the CLE, but in case you can’t watch or attend, I offer the most important point here. The single best thing lawyers can do to support themselves when dealing with a difficult opposing counsel or party is to get help.
Lawyers Deserve Support with Difficult Cases
I’m sorry if that is a let down but it’s true. Lawyers tend to be independent people. We are accustomed to solving other people’s problems. As a result, we can sometimes exaggerate how many problems we can handle on our own.
But when I say “get help” here, I don’t mean to imply that lawyers can’t handle a difficult case on their own. In fact, most of us probably do this regularly. What I mean instead is that, for those really difficult cases involving counsel or parties with whom you struggle, getting some support can really help.
Social Support Is Essential for Lawyers
Remember that lawyers are humans first. The most effective and healthy way to process and manage stress is to get social support. If you are dealing with a difficult opposing counsel, client, or party in a case, you deserve support from colleagues, family, and friends.
This support may just be good for you. It also may be essential for ensuring that lawyers make good judgments about the case. In difficult times, even the most seasoned lawyers may struggle to see issues objectively when an opposing counsel has made their life miserable for months on end.
In this way, getting support from a trusted colleague or your firm’s ethics or general counsel may help you ensure your choices are strategic and not reliatory. This can help you stay true to your values in difficulty and stress instead of forgetting them due to high emotions.
How Lawyers Can Get Support for Their Cases
Some lawyers may struggle with asking for help. I know that I used to be like this. In recent years, though, I have drastically changed my approach. This is in part because I have learned that I often solve problems faster, most effectively, and with less pain when I do.
Dealing with difficult counsel, clients, or parties can create a lot of problems for lawyers. This can include extra work or overwhelm. It can also include dealing with big feelings, ranging from anxiety, frustration, anger, or even sadness. It can also include confusion about strategy and doubt or imposter syndrome about one’s own abilities.
In this way, you can start asking for help by seeking support or delegating work tasks if possible. You can also ask for help just by asking a trusted colleague or friend to listen while you share your feelings. Where possible, it can be a wonderful support to talk over a case with a fellow lawyer to get perspective and strategy ideas.
Getting Help Can Make Dealing with a Difficult Case Bearable
Of course, you know that getting help when dealing with a difficult case, opposing counsel, or party does not solve the whole problem. Getting help does not make all the stress go away. Social support does not mean lawyers can avoid the people or cases who make their law practice hard.
In my experience, though, getting some help and support does one really important thing. It makes dealing with the difficult case bearable. It makes the situation less lonely. It often reduces overwhelm. It can sometimes inspire confidence and newfound motivation to handle the matter effectively and stay true to your values.
If you are dealing with a difficult case, check out the new CLE on Lawline for tips and strategies for navigating it well. But if you can’t make it, follow my next best advice. Don’t handle the case entirely on your own. Get social support and help as you navigate the difficult case.
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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