There is a word that I have heard all the best meditation teachers say about meditation. As the title of this post would suggest, that word is “play.” On retreat and in courses, I have heard the teacher frequently offer some wisdom then encourage further study by suggesting we “play with it.”
When I first heard comments like this as someone new to mindfulness, my lawyer brain didn’t quite get it. I was looking for a direct path. I wanted clearer guideposts. Beyond this, I was trying to manage real life challenges, like stress, overthinking, and anxiety. How could playing possibly help me with problems like this?
Playing in meditation can do a lot of good.
Years of practice and training have changed my mind. In fact, cultivating a sense of play can in fact help you a lot. As I have written before, many of us lawyers and other type A people, innately may think that discipline and hard work is the way to go when we start meditation. I thought that too, but now I think that self-discipline is overrated when it comes to meditation.
I’m not the only who thinks this either. Thich Nhat Hanh, possibly one of the most beloved ambassadors of mindfulness in the modern era, famously reminds us to “smile” in life and meditation. Renowned teacher and psychologist, Tara Brach, does the same thing. Many of her meditations intended to release students from deep-seated emotional pain start with visualizing the image of a smile.
Even Shunryu Suzuki, author of Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind, tells us to bring an “effortless” quality into our practice. Though that book includes many reminders to be disciplined in posture and breath, it otherwise encourages us to relax and let meditation itself be “nothing special.”
Why is a playful attitude important?
So why is play so important in meditation? One reason is that meditation practice is hard, or at least it can be. The practice is simple, but it often involves retraining our minds. As most of us know, changing habits is challenging and can take time.
If we go charging into meditation with big ideas of instant calm and a clear mind, most of us are bound to be disappointed. Trying the practice, instead, with an attitude of kind curiosity can inspire the desire to practice more. With this attitude, you can try things out, see what works, and what doesn’t.
On the other hand, though, a playful spirit also may help you avoid putting too much pressure on yourself. Pressure kills the curiosity and openness that allows for clear awareness and it certainly is not helpful for cultivating compassion.
But what does a playful attitude mean?
Now you may be wondering, what does “playfulness” even mean when it comes to meditation? For example, how would one know if their sense of play went too far and instead became silliness?
First, it’s important to note that I am talking about this idea in the context of meditation practice. Inherently, maintaining a meditation practice involves some level of discipline. The idea of play that I am describing doesn’t mean pure frivolity. It’s intended to counterbalance the habits of many of us lawyers to rely on discipline, rules, and force to achieve our goals.
When I talk about play in this article, what I mean is letting go of expectations. Play also includes forgiving yourself quickly for any mistakes or difficulty focusing. Having a sense of humor and adventure. And being open to joy when it arises.
How can you foster a sense of play in your meditation practice?
Learning to identify and cultivate a sense of play will likely take some time and experience. If you want to start exploring, here are a few strategies you can use to keep your practice fresh and light:
- Make your meditation practice more enjoyable.
- Identify your early signs of tension and striving.
- Reflect on the value of joyful work.
- Find a good community and supportive teachers.
- Cultivate self-compassion and loving-kindness.
To explore the idea directly in your mindfulness practice, check out these guided meditations crafted to inspire play:
Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.
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