Tag Archives: meditation

4 Key Traits of Effective Anchoring Practices

Cover image for blog post entitled "4 Key Traits of Effective Anchoring Practices"

I have had a busy few months and it doesn’t look like things are going to slow down any time soon. When things get like this for me, I really appreciate the anchoring practices in my life to keep me steady. In case you don’t know what that means, this post will explain it and help you identify the practices that may serves as anchors for you.

What Is An Anchoring Practice?

Anchoring practices are the things we do in daily life that help us feel steady, nourished, focused, and in a state of flow. The practices that serve this purpose for me most frequently are meditation, exercise, writing, and cooking. You would think that in busy or turbulent times, these practices would be the first to go.

Over the years, though, I have noticed that the opposite is true. Rather than let these habits go when I am too busy, I rely on them even more. This is how the practices serve as anchors. They keep me grounded, steady, and calm enough to face life, busy and crazy as it is.

How to Identify Anchoring Practices for Your Life?

If you have practices in your life that serve the same purpose, you may be able to identify them very quickly. Many lawyers and professionals, though, don’t have time or reason to think this through. I find it helpful to have a framework for my well-being, though, because I can use it as a guide in times when I struggle or get stuck.

In case you need some help establishing or identifying potential anchoring practices for your own life, here are the four hallmark traits to consider.

1. You Genuinely Enjoy It.

For a practice to serve as an anchor for you, it needs to be something you will do consistently. To some degree, then, this means that you need to sincerely enjoy it. Does this mean that it will always be easy, risk free, or only feel good?

Not necessarily. When a practice becomes like that, you may get bored with it and it won’t keep your attention very well. A little bit of challenge and even some risk might be present in any good anchoring practice. But still there has to be something there that calls you back and draws you in again and again.

Crazy as it sounds, meditation serves this purpose for me. Yes, it is often boring and sometimes a struggle. But after years of practice I have come to enjoy it and generally like how it feels when I meditate. What practices are like this for you?

2. It Allows You to Be Yourself.

Another important thing about anchoring practices is that they allow you take your armor off. By this, I mean that you can really tell that something is an anchor for you if you feel like you can be yourself while doing it.

When you do the practice, there is no pretending or putting on a happy face or trying to appear professional. Instead, there is just you and the practice. It’s you as you are doing something you love.

Cooking is an anchoring practice for me because it allows my creativity and resourcefulness to shine. What activity in your life makes you feel like your most authentic self?

Image with 4 key traits of effective anchoring practices as shared in the blog post

3. It Nourishes You.

Another reason that you may come back again and again to anchoring practices is that they always give you what you need. This is to say that they nourish you in some way.

In many cases, lawyers have most of our basic needs met. As people who tend to be time poor, however, some essential human needs may get neglected. For many lawyers, and professionals, then, the most beneficial daily habits may give us a chance to get what we don’t otherwise get at work.

The practice that showcases this best for me is exercise. I love my law practice but it involves a lot of sitting around at my computer or talking on the phone. My daily Peloton workouts give me a chance to move, relax, and release excess stress. What practice in your life nourishes you?

4. It Creates Connections.

A final feature about anchoring practices is that they create connections. As noted above, this may include a chance to get in touch with oneself. In general, though, practices that connect us to others or something bigger tend to be the ones that stick with us throughout our lives.

All of the practices I mentioned above have this connecting force too, but the one that exemplifies it most for me is writing. As I have shared before, I am an introvert and can easily get very lost in my own thoughts and experience. It has been hard for me over the years to share my ideas with others and it took me a long time to learn to be myself.

Writing helped me do that. Though I do most of my writing on my own, sharing my work helped me create a community and build confidence in myself in all other areas of my life. What regular practices in your life create connections for you?

Want to Explore Further?

Though anchoring practices are not one size fits all, they have some essential features. If you are trying to identify or establish anchoring practices in your own life, look for these four things: (1) enjoyment; (2) authenticity; (3) nourishment; and (4) connection.

To explore this idea more, check out the Personal Well-Being Worksheet. It will help you identify the practices that support all aspects of personal well-being by guiding you through an assessment of basic needs.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

The Connection Between Mindfulness and Writing Success

Cover image for appearance on Dear Indie Author podcast on mindfulness and writing

As a mindfulness teacher and blogger, the connection between mindfulness practice and writing comes up for me a lot. Though I have always been drawn to writing and I do it every day in my work as a lawyer, I didn’t always consider myself a writer. It took many years for it to emerge as a real passion and part of my life.

How Meditation Led to Writing

If I never started meditating, there’s a good chance that I never would have discovered this meaningful pastime at all. As I have explained before, meditation helped me create the mental space that was necessary to recognize some of my copious thoughts as ideas. Over time, I also cultivated self-compassion and became more aware of latent judgments, so I could get ideas on the page.

Then, finally all the time sitting in meditation and the benefits it imparted convinced me of something fundamental: using some of my time to please myself was worthwhile. This helped me get over all the fears about writing being a “waste of time” or “too much work” or that “nobody would care.”

The Interview Discussing Mindfulness and Writing

I was fortunate to get a chance to discuss all of these things and more with fellow writer and coach, Shonda Ramsey. I met Shonda online when I saw her searching for self-published authors. Writing my first book was a great experience and one that has led to many other wonderful opportunities in my life.

I was glad to get to talk to Shonda about it and explain how mindfulness and creativity are interconnected. I was also pleased to discuss the fact that writing, a traditionally lonely endeavor, was something that led me to cultivate greater community. In fact, I was proud to share that I got help from a book coach to make the leap from blogger to author quickly.

How to Watch or Listen to the Interview

If you are interested in writing or wonder what mindfulness can do to help you get more creative in life, check out the full interview on the Dear Indie Author podcast. You can listen online, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify or watch the interview on YouTube here:

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Mindful Advocacy: Interview with Medical Malpractice Attorney Kathryn Conway

Cover image for blog post entitled: Mindful Advocacy: Interview with Medical Malpractice Attorney Kathryn Conway.

Though I have had a few experiences as a lawyer on the side of the plaintiff, most of my legal career has been on the defense. Lawyers of all kinds may share certain stresses, regardless of practice area. But the demands of working as a lawyer for injured people seeking compensation can be uniquely intense. In this interview, Kathryn (“Kate”) Conway, Partner at Power Rogers and an experienced medical malpractice attorney in Chicago shares her personal experiences and insights on how mindfulness and compassion have helped her navigate the emotional complexities of high-stakes cases.

Question: Can you share a little about the emotional challenges lawyers face, particularly in cases like personal injury or medical malpractice?

Kate: Absolutely. Advocacy, especially in emotionally charged cases, can be incredibly demanding. I often work with families who’ve experienced catastrophic injuries or loss due to medical errors. Their pain and grief are palpable, and as lawyers, we feel a deep responsibility to do right by them. Early in my career, I struggled with drawing the line between caring deeply for my clients and maintaining the clarity needed to handle their cases effectively. Over time, I realized that mindfulness could help me strike that balance.

Question: How has mindfulness played a role in your work as a lawyer?

Kate: Mindfulness has been transformative. It allows me to stay present for my clients while ensuring I don’t become emotionally overwhelmed. For instance, I once handled a particularly tough case where a young family lost a loved one due to a preventable medical error. Their grief was overwhelming, and it was challenging to compartmentalize my emotions during trial preparation. I turned to mindfulness techniques, like grounding exercises and pausing to breathe, which helped me stay emotionally available for them while making sound, strategic decisions.

Image with quote that says: Mindfulness benefits both lawyers and their clients.

Question: What are some mindfulness techniques that have worked well for you?

Kate: There are three techniques I use regularly:

  1. The Power of the Pause
    Taking a brief pause during emotionally charged moments can make a big difference. Whether it’s a few seconds of deep breathing or simply stepping back to reflect, pausing helps me respond intentionally instead of reacting impulsively. For example, during contentious negotiations, I’ll take a moment to collect myself before responding. This helps me stay calm and focus on achieving the best outcome for my clients.
  2. Setting Boundaries
    It’s essential to set emotional boundaries. As lawyers, we care deeply about our clients, but their struggles aren’t ours to carry. After a particularly heavy client meeting, I’ll go for a walk or spend a few minutes journaling. This helps me process what I’ve absorbed and reaffirm my role as their advocate, not their emotional caretaker.
  3. Compassion Without Attachment
    Active listening is key. I strive to be fully present when clients express their emotions, validating their feelings without becoming entangled in them. Afterward, I often reset with a short breathing exercise or a guided meditation.

Question: Do you have any resources you’d recommend for lawyers or professionals exploring mindfulness

Kate: Absolutely! Two books I found particularly helpful are The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thích Nhất Hanh and Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. For more accessible content, I recommend the Headspace YouTube channel and The Mindful Lawyer podcast. These resources offer practical ways to incorporate mindfulness into daily life.

Question: How do you see mindfulness benefiting lawyers in their professional lives?

Kate: Mindfulness benefits both lawyers and their clients. For us, it helps reduce burnout and improves decision-making by keeping our minds clear and focused. For clients, it fosters trust and empathy in the lawyer-client relationship. At my law firm, where we handle high-stakes medical malpractice cases, maintaining clarity and emotional regulation is crucial. It allows us to advocate effectively without being overwhelmed by the stress of the case.

Image with 3 ways for attorneys to take a mindful pause as discussed in the blog post

Question: What advice would you give to lawyers looking to integrate mindfulness into their practice?

Kate: Start small. Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean meditating for hours. It could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths before walking into court or setting aside time to reflect at the end of the day. Over time, these small practices can make a big difference.

Conclusion: A Sustainable Path Forwa

Advocacy in high-stakes legal cases is demanding, but mindfulness provides a sustainable path forward. Kate’s insights show how lawyers can balance compassion with professional detachment, ensuring their advocacy is guided by strategy and care—not stress or overwhelm. Whether you’re a lawyer or navigating the challenges of life, mindfulness is a powerful tool for staying grounded and effective.

Bio: Kathryn (“Kate”) Conway, Partner at Power Rogers, is a seasoned trial lawyer specializing in personal injury and wrongful death cases. Beyond her legal achievements, Kate advocates for compassion in law through her work with nonprofits like Sarah’s Inn and Chicago Jesuit Academy. As a mentor and past President of the Women’s Bar Association of Illinois, she promotes mindfulness and empathy in legal advocacy, drawing on her experience supporting clients through emotionally challenging cases.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

How to Craft Your Daily Meditation Practice

Cover image for blog post with title that says "How to Craft Your Daily Meditation Practice"

One of the most common questions I get as a meditation teacher is also my favorite question to ask other meditators. That question is “what does your meditation practice look like?” As a teacher, I know people are asking for guidance about what their practice should or could be.

When I am asking the question, though, I am not asking it to test the other person. Instead, I am asking it because someone’s daily practice can tell you a lot. I love seeing the variety of ways that people find to make meditation their own, so I enjoy hearing people talk about it.

Though certain lineages may have preferred meditation practices, there aren’t universally applicable rules that apply to all of us. In addition, even very experienced meditators may have to rethink or revamp their practice regimen from time to time. Here are some things to consider when crafting or reshaping your meditation practice.

1. Identify the Intention Behind Your Meditation Practice.

One of the reasons that I cannot offer a generally applicable “ideal” meditation practice is that I think meditation works best when it supports personal intentions. By this, I don’t mean that meditation must or should be a solely individualistic endeavor. I have said many times before that community is essential to meditation and that, ideally, meditation will help us engage more fully in our communities.

Even so, meditation is a long-term practice. If you are going to make the habit stick, it helps if it supports your life, values, and goals. As a result, an important first step in crafting a meditation practice is to consider your intention for meditating.

Do you want the health benefits? Do you want a time to rest? Do you want to learn better ways of managing stress? Do you want a time to check in with yourself? Do you want to relax so you can get better sleep? Whatever it is, identifying the purpose driving you can help you tailor a meditation practice.

Image with quote from the blog post that says "Meditation works best when it supports personal intentions."

2. Consider the Meditation Technique that Supports Your Intention.

Identifying your intention for practice is important because there are so many options for practice technique. Meditation practices come from a variety of spiritual lineages, secular disciplines, and include a seemingly endless number of techniques.

If your practice lasts long enough, crafting your meditation routine may include exploration of everything from breath focus, to body scan, mantra, loving-kindness, and beyond. Exploration is a great thing, but ideally your daily practice will become relatively simple, stable, and consistent.

Your specific purpose in meditating will help you decide which practice best supports your life. This may take some trial and error and experimentation. Pay attention to how you feel in practice and any changes that you may be experiencing in life. This can tell you if the practice is supporting your intention or not.

3. Decide the Frequency, Duration, and Setting for Your Meditation Sessions.

Once you have selected a practice, then you must decide how long, how often, and where to practice. Many people ask me for a minimum time they must practice to get benefits. Though I recommend starting small for those new to practice, ideally the duration of your sessions will grow over time. So, the real question is what amount of time will you, as a practical matter, meditate consistently?

That is because consistency is what transforms meditation from a pastime to a practice. As a practicing lawyer myself and a busy mom, I don’t claim to meditate every day without fail. But I meditate most days and strive for 30 minutes of daily practice. That period of time is sustainable for me long-term and it allows me to rest, connect with myself, and cultivate focus and stability.

In the same way, it helps to have a designated meditation spot which may include your meditation cushion or a comfortable chair. Meditation on the go is a necessary option for most lawyers and one I frequently use. With that said, a special spot can help to remind you of practice and settle more quickly when your meditation starts.

Image with quote that says: "People often ask for the “minimum” amount of time they must meditate to see benefits. A better question is: what amount of time will you, as a practical matter, meditate consistently?"

4. Don’t Forget to Ask for Help.

Still feel lost with all of the details regarding meditation practice? That’s normal. It could be a sign that you need some more exploration time to feel at ease in your practice. It could also be reason to consider getting more support for your practice.

Over the millennia, meditation has been taught in groups and with teachers. Technology has allowed us to learn the practice without these supports and I got my practice started without them. Whether you use guided meditations or prefer an unguided practice, starting with the help of an app (or this blog!) may be great for those of us who want to explore meditation before we commit.

For more in-depth understanding of the practices and the many shapes that meditation can take, you can always explore working with a meditation teacher, taking a course, or finding a community. Even if you meditate alone most of the time, getting help and support may instill confidence that you have a practice that supports your life.

Image that shares the 4 tips for crafting a meditation practice shared in the blog post

Conclusion

There are many effective ways that you can structure a daily or regular meditation practice. If you practice meditation for long enough, you are bound to find that your practice will shift and change with time. Whether you are new to meditation or are experienced and looking for a change, this post is offered to help you evaluate your daily practice to ensure it continues to benefit your life.

If you want some immediate help for your practice, check out the Resources page and our guided meditations. In particular, these downloads may be helpful in shaping a practice that works for you:

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Cultivating Motivation: A Mindful Approach for 2025

Cover image for post with title that says "Cultivating Motivation: A Mindful Approach for 2025"

In case you didn’t notice, I took the last month off from the blog. This was actually a good thing. I had a great 2024 filled with many wonderful things, including finding my place at a new law firm, editing a legal treatise for LexisNexis, and many new opportunities. The only downside was that I was exhausted by December and, as a result, many of my normal habits fell away.

This means that I have been thinking a lot about motivation lately because I need to get back to my normal habits. As most of us know, January is the perfect time to refresh habits because it is the season of goal-setting and resolutions. I have already picked my word of the year for 2025, so now I just need the energy to execute my plan. This raises the question: how does one bring motivation back?

Motivation Starts with Intention

If I had to answer this question with one word, it would be “intention.” I used to think talk of intention was new age puffery. It made me roll my eyes and wonder what the heck it even meant. “Why did I need to think about intention?” I would think to myself. “I usually know what I am doing.”

Experience, and of course lots of meditation, has shown me that in many cases we do not know at all what we are doing. Sure, we know in the sense that we are generally aware of what is happening and have a vague idea about what we want. But, how often do you actually think about the direction of your life and where it is leading you? How often do you ask what your deep intentions are?

Mindfulness Can Help You Connect with Your Intention

More often, we are embroiled in habits and busy people, like lawyers, can get so distracted by life that we don’t think about how we want to live. For this practical reason, when we want to establish new habits or need to get back to old ones, it helps to reflect on our intention and ask what we want or are trying to achieve.

This is one of the reasons that meditation has become such an important part of my life. Not only does the practice give my nervous system a break, it also allows me some time and mental space to check in with myself, including what I need and what I really want. In fact, it is so important that I have made checking in with my intention the first step when I start meditating.

Image with quote that says "Motivation starts with intention and mindfulness practice can help you connect with your intention."

Motivation Requires a Connection Between Effort and Results

Identifying our intention may be enough to get us started with initial steps, but it won’t last for long by itself. It is commonly said that habits take weeks to form, so a burst of initial energy from a reflection on intention will only get you so far. The next essential step, I find, is often overlooked: we need to create a connection between our effort and the results we week.

In my experience, this connection requires two things:

  • a belief that our effort will lead to some kind of positive result; and
  • a plan to turn our belief into a reality.

In some cases, belief comes first but sometimes we may need to chart a course to inspire confidence. Last year, I succeeded in losing some weight in a few months. Of course, I had thought about starting for months before but put it off until I started imagining my plan of attack. Once I had a plan, I realized the feat was achievable and it gave me the energy to try.

Sustained Motivation Requires a Good System

Now, anyone who has tried to start a new habit or get back to your wholesome ones knows that energy fades. As you are creating your plan of attack, therefore, it only makes sense to factor in a system that will sustain your motivation.

To do this, you can’t rely on discipline and willpower alone because both of these things wear out quickly and may be heavily taxed by your existing lifestyle and work. If you are a lawyer or other busy professional, your schedule may not be your own. If you are a caregiver in addition to that, many people may depend on you too. This means, at some point, you are going to require support to stick to your good habits.

What Kind of System Supports Motivation?

So, what kind of system supports sustained motivation? For a deep dive on this issue, I highly recommend that you check out Atomic Habits by James Clear. He has a lot of practical tips for changing habits and making the change stick.

In general, though, what you want to do is create a system that offers you support on a practical level. It should reduce the friction and effort needed to overcome it in getting the relevant task accomplished. Ideally, if at all possible, your plan should support your intrinsic desire to do the task. That means increasing your personal enjoyment and satisfaction with the task.

An important way to do this is to track and check your progress and to regularly check in with your intention to remind yourself why you are investing the effort.

Image of a notebook with a quote that says "Willpower can’t sustain motivation, But a good support system can."

Self-Compassion Is Essential

Ideally, when you get back to your new habit, it will be smooth sailing with no major challenges. For most of us, though, challenges and struggles are bound to arise eventually. This is why self-compassion is one tool that is essential to sustaining or renewing motivation.

As I have written before, self-compassion is positively correlated with goal attainment because it supports persistence. When a challenge arises, it is self-compassion that helps us focus on what we need instead of how we failed to measure up. When our energy is depleted, self-compassion is what may help us take the time to rest so we can recover and get back on track.

Just like any other habit, self-compassion is a skill that can be trained over time and it is one that can support you in cultivating other positive habits. For this reason, as you set your intentions and craft plans to motivate yourself for the new year, be sure to include compassion for yourself.

Conclusion: Motivation Can Be Cultivated and Mindfulness Can Help.

This is a great time of year for refreshing habits but don’t fall into the trap of believing that motivation is an elusive energy that changes like the wind. Though motivation can be this way, it can also be something we cultivate with mindfulness and self-compassion. If we connect to our intention and craft a plan that supports our effort, we can cultivate motivation and sustain it over time.

If motivation to start or get back to meditation is what you are looking for this year, check out the downloads on our Resources page, including the Meditation Habit Worksheet based on the principles of Atomic Habits.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

10 Gift Ideas to Encourage a Loved One’s Mindfulness Habit

When I teach mindfulness, I always stress that you don’t need to buy anything when you start a meditation practice. With that said, some accessories can support a practice. Beyond that, around the holidays we always need some gift ideas for those in our lives. If you have someone in your life looking to create or establish a mindfulness habit, some of these ideas might help.

1. Meditation Cushion or Bench

A chair is perfectly sufficient to meditate, but if you do it regularly it can help to have a defined space for the practice. In addition, once you are able to sit for longer than 15 minutes, a cushion can help you maintain a good posture. You can find any number of meditation cushions or benches online, including on Amazon. I recommend a buckwheat fill for your cushion because it offers support and you can refill the cushion with more hulls over time.

2. Meditation App

A meditation app can help make a practice accessible because the world’s best teachers are always with you on your phone. Many apps also have courses available to teach the practice to you. Headspace, Calm, and Ten Percent Happier each have gift subscriptions available. In addition, fitness apps like Peloton has yoga classes and meditations as well and Peloton also has an introduction to meditation course.

3. Books

There are so many good books on mindfulness and meditation practice out there that you really can’t go wrong. Any of the books I have reviewed on this blog would make a fine gift.

If you want an easy and accessible introduction to meditation written with lawyers in mind, check out my book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer.

A few other books I have mentioned but not fully reviewed include the following:

Zen Habits

Mindfulness in Plain English

Radical Compassion

Ten Percent Happier

4. Courses

You may be able to find courses and retreats at your local yoga studio, dharma or zen center, or other public facilities. If you can’t, Sounds True has a number of self-paced audio or video courses available from the best teachers in the world. They also regularly have sales that make these courses really affordable. For those new to the practice, we recommend Tara Brach’s and Jack Kornfield’s Power of Awareness.

5. Blanket

It’s not unusual to get cold during meditation practice since you are sitting still for extended periods of time. In addition, a blanket can add a sense of comfort and even protection to help you calm during your practice. I recommend a blanket that is soft and comforting, but also light so that it doesn’t make you too hot as you sit.

6. Candle or Diffuser

The jar candle seems to be the ubiquitous holiday regift. But, on the bright side, nice smells can support a meditation practice. In the same way, an essential oil diffuser can do the same thing. If you are intending it to be used during meditation practice, pick something with a scent that is soothing so it doesn’t overpower or distract you while you sit.

7. Gift Card to Yoga Studio        

Sitting isn’t the only way to learn mindfulness. You can also learn it from yoga and many yoga studios offer practices or courses on meditation. Many yoga studios offer holiday promotions for gift cards or class passes. In this way, you can support a local business while offering a friend a chance to establish or refresh their mindfulness or yoga practice.

8. Yoga Props

Restorative yoga is an excellent way to ease into meditation practice but this practice is not as prevalent at brick and mortar studios now due to the pandemic. You can solve this problem by offering the gift of yoga props. With a couple of blocks, a yoga blanket, and a bolster, your friend could easily start a restorative practice at home on their own. In fact, Amazon even has a restorative yoga starter kit and Judith Lasater has several great books that teach the practice for beginners.

9. Devices

Extra devices aren’t really necessary for a meditation practice, but some items can support it or solve a particular problem. A nice set of wireless earbuds can make your meditation practice mobile or help reduce distractions while you sit. If you are really into gadgets and have a larger budget, you could look into the Muse. By the time I tried the device, my practice was already established so I have not really used it much but it could be helpful to someone new to meditation. I also recently discovered Zenimals which offer a screen-free way of providing guided meditations to kids.

10. Time

The biggest impediment to a meditation practice is the lack of time. So, if you want to give the gift of mindfulness, you may not have to spend any money. You could offer to babysit, take care of pets, or water plants for a friend who wants to go on a retreat or take a meditation course.

As a caveat, don’t push any of these gift ideas on anyone. Meditation is a deeply personal practice and it may not be right for everyone. Thus, I wouldn’t give any of these gifts unless I knew that the person was interested in mindfulness, yoga, or looking for some help with their stress management strategies. For those friends or family members looking to develop or establish a meditation habit, however, any of these gifts can support their practice and help it grow.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

How to Practice Gratitude without Being Fake

Cover image for a blog post for lawyers and professionals entitled "How to Practice Gratitude without Being Fake"

Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days. This holiday is one that is pretty easy for me to love because cooking and eating are two of my favorite things. You get to do both on Thanksgiving and you only have to spend one day with your extended family. Seems perfect, right?

Oh yeah, I forgot about gratitude. In some form or fashion, you may be asked to reflect on or proclaim your gratitude. I don’t doubt the myriad studies that say gratitude is good for us. I appreciate the need to express and receive gratitude. But, as a lifelong pigheaded person, I refuse to feel something on demand.

Forcing Gratitude Doesn’t Work

Honestly, it’s not even truly refusal. I could decide to go along with the little game of gratitude to amuse my family or shut them up. But I would know in my secret heart of hearts that I don’t really feel grateful. What I really feel is resentful.

This same phenomenon is why I also can’t do positive affirmations. They don’t make me feel strong, calm, empowered or loved. They make my mind argue and my mind already does this well enough on it’s own. In short, despite the best intentions of these positive practices, I just can’t force my mind or heart to go in a direction it’s not already inclined to go.

Then How Can You Practice Gratitude?

So, what’s the key here? How can someone like me practice gratitude in a way that’s not fake? One way, of course, is to notice when genuine gratitude comes up, savor it, and where appropriate share it. I do this and it feels really good.

But can I cultivate gratitude otherwise? Despite my mental and emotional blocks against fakery, I have discovered a hack. I have written many times about my fondness for loving-kindness practice. One of the reasons I love this practice so much is that it serves as a gratitude practice for me.

I don’t go into the practice hoping for gratitude but it almost always shows up as a wonderful side effect. When I bring to mind the people I love and care about and wish them well, invariably I also feel gratitude that they are in my life. Strangely, I even sometimes feel gratitude to myself and to the difficult people in my life as the practice progresses.

Try This Gratitude Meditation

This is why I am sharing a gratitude meditation that is really a modified loving-kindness practice. It follows the same traditional pattern, but instead of wishing the phrases of peace and well-being it includes an offering of gratitude. I did this one for a Mindfulness in Law Society Virtual Sit and remembered how much I liked it.

To try out the practice, find it here or on our YouTube channel or on Insight Timer. Please have a wonderful holiday weekend. I am honestly and sincerely grateful to have you as a reader and meditation friend.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Why Lawyers Need Enlightened Self-Interest

Cover image for blog post entitled "Why Lawyers Need Enlightened Self-Interest"

Though I am a mindfulness teacher, I am still a lawyer so that means I love competition. I like to win. I want to be number one in all things. And after a decade of meditation my ego is still going strong.

The drive to compete and win is necessary for most lawyers. I am not here to tell you it’s entirely bad. I’m sharing this post, though, because competition and naked self-interest have some down sides.

My beloved compassion teacher, Laura Banks, recently introduced me to Tom Bussen, a psychologist and former lawyer, who wrote a book on this topic. The book is called Enlightened Self-Interest: Individualism, Community, and the Common Interest. I thought the book offered great insights about the role of competition in life and work, including some recommendations about how to compete in a healthier and happier way.

What Is Enlightened Self-Interest?

The book, Enlightened Self-Interest, analyzes something that most lawyers know all too well: competitive individualism. Most of us who live in the western world, especially the United States, probably don’t need more explanation on this. In case you do, though, this is referring to the societal and professional emphasis on attaining money, power, and fame.

Despite common assumptions that these things lead to health, happiness, and safety, the book explains that they often do the opposite. They foster worldwide inequality, rampant loneliness, incentivize unethical conduct, and often contribute to mental health challenges.

Enlightened self-interest, then, is the recognition that the cultural messages many of us get about what we are supposed to want and pursue in life may not truly be in our self-interest. This recognition then opens up possibilities for cultivating a more balanced, sustainable, and collaborative practices that support individual and collective well-being.

Image with loose definition of enlightened self-interest

Why Do Lawyers Need Enlightened Self-Interest?

Enlightened self-interest matters for lawyers and others in the business world for some obvious reasons. Law practice itself is highly competitive and confrontational. Not only are lawyers often competing with other lawyers in representing clients, they also may face business competition in their own firms and externally.

What are the most common incentives for a job well done in this system? You got it: money, power, and reputation enhancement. In this way, whether intended or not, law practice sets many lawyers up in a system where success and happiness may be at odds. As a result, it behooves lawyers, especially law firm leaders, to incorporate approaches that mitigate the impact of individualistic competition.

What Can Enlightened Self-Interest Do for Lawyers and Professionals?

What I liked most about the book, Enlightened Self-Interest, is that it was balanced. It didn’t claim that competition was entirely bad. It didn’t argue that the hyper-individualistic Western world should wholesale adopt the collectivism more prevalent in Asia. Instead, it acknowledged that there are pros and cons with every social system, including collectivism, and agreed that competition has its place in a healthy life and culture.

Still, the book recommended several actionable steps that lawyers and professionals can consider and implement to cultivate more fulfilling and healthier lives. These include things like examining the role of money in our lives, understanding how a collaborative mindset can help us in business, and strategies to avoid the trap of social comparison. It also recommends exploring a simple but effective meditation practice, mudita, to cultivate appreciative joy for others.

Image sharing information about podcast interview with author of Enlightened Self-Interest, Tom Bussen

Who Is the Author?

I’ve told you why the focus of the book is relevant to lawyers, but you may also be interested to know that the author of the book, Tom Bussen, was a lawyer. Bussen is now an academic and organizational psychologist who has taught and trained companies and businesses around the world about ways to create healthier workplaces.

As Tom shares in the book, though, he used to practice law and left in part because the competitive and individualistic environment was not for him. I got a chance to interview Tom for the FDCC FedSpeaks Podcast and he graciously shared the challenges he experienced with law practice. Because Bussen’s first-hand knowledge of many of the challenges that lawyers, professionals, and their firms ensure that he remains practical in his focus and recommendations.

Why Should I Read the Book?

Enlightened Self-Interest is a needed examination of the role of individualist competition in our society and the impact it has on the lives of most lawyers and professionals. It offers balanced analysis of research, case studies and true stories, and practical strategies to help lawyers and professionals craft happier and more fulfilling lives. If you want to learn how you can remain competitive as a lawyer without sacrificing your own well-being, Enlightened Self-Interest is one to read.

Image with summary book review of Enlightened Self-Interest as shared in the blog post

Where Can I Buy the Book?

You can find Enlightened Self-Interest on most online booksellers, including Amazon (paid link). However, for those of you who wish to support smaller booksellers, Bussen was gracious enough to provide a 30% code (“TGUF”) to purchase the book from Georgetown University Press.

The link to the book mentioned in this review is an affiliate link. The review is unsponsored and sincere but the link to Amazon is paid.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Need Support This Election Day? Find It Here.

Image with details about meditations offered by the Mindfulness in Law Society to provide community and support during election day

If you haven’t voted already, I hope that you have a plan to do so. I was lucky to early vote yesterday few challenges and only a short wait. The only bad thing about this is that now all I can do is wait for the election results.

Waiting is not something I enjoy in normal circumstances. Most of us, regardless of political persuasion, would probably agree that this election cycle is anything but normal. It’s likely that you may be feeling stress, anxiety, or even significant fear about the election results.

Meditation Is Not a Magic Pill but It Can Be a Refuge

I take great pains as a lawyer and mindfulness teacher to avoid treating mindfulness practice like a magic pill. Meditation isn’t something you can do to make all the problems of life go away. To the contrary, when done right, meditation may help you get clearer about life. It’s one reason why the practice is hard.

Paradoxically, though, at the same time meditation can also be a refuge. It can be a safe space to find calm when the world is turbulent. Meditation can offer an opportunity for self-acceptance to deal with difficult emotions. At the most basic level, it can offer us at least a few minutes where we aren’t ruminating or doom scrolling about the state of the world.

Meditation Can Help Us Reorient to Goodness

The purpose meditation most often serves for me as a lawyer, mom, and community leader is that it reorients me to goodness. I’m a busy lady, I frequently deal with conflict, I’m often lost in my thoughts, and I tend to be intense and competitive. Meditation helps me rebalance the scales.

When I meditate, I let go of controlling things for a while. I let go of thinking and instead reactivate my faculties to perceive and sense. I stop judging and instead let holding and allowing to take the lead. And instead of closing off my heart, I work on opening it to myself, my community, and even the people who challenge me. This is how meditation can be a refuge that enables us to find stability so we can engage more deeply with life.

MILS Practices for Election Day

It is this idea that motivated me to volunteer to lead a meditation practice for the Mindfulness in Law Society on Election Day. First, I knew that offering a practice would be the most compassionate things I could do for myself. It would keep me busy and allow me to do something good and that I loved on a hard day.

Second, I knew that other lawyers out there were probably worried like me. Meditation can be a challenge when times are hard, so doing the practice in community can really help. Frankly, just remembering that you have a community can really help. That’s why MILS is offering a special practice on Election Day and the day after to offer the support of community to all in the legal profession.

Details of the MILS Election Day Support Practices

The Mindfulness in Law Society is offering 2 special practices on Election Day and the day after, Wednesday November 6th. Here are the details:

Election Day Sit

Event Details: I will offer a self-compassion meditation practice at 12 PM PST / 3 PM EST on Election Day, November 5th, on Zoom. This will be open to any law student or professor, lawyer, or anyone who works for a law firm or in the legal profession. The practice will focus on finding refuge in one’s community to support oneself.

How to Join: As a special event, you will need to register on Zoom to join the sit. The event is free of charge but you must register here for the link.

Special Wakeful Wednesday Sit

Event Details: I was set to guide the Wakeful Wednesday Sit this week, but my friend and highly experienced teacher, Judi Cohen, agreed to fill in for me. Knowing that none of us can predict what will happen this week, Judi will offer a special practice about welcoming whatever emotions may arise.

How to Join: This is a recurring event for MILS so simply click this link to the Virtual Sits page and hit “Wakeful Wednesday” to join on Zoom at 12 PM PST / 3 PM PST on November 6th.

Feel Free to Join Us in Community

I hope that you are making your voice heard at the polls this week. After you do that, please join us to practice meditation in community. Both practices are open to law students, law professors, lawyers regardless of practice status, paralegals, and anyone who works in the legal profession.

Even if you cannot join us for the sits, I will be wishing that all of you are safe, healthy, happy, and at peace.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media:

Book Review: The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD

Cover image for blog post with a book review of The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD

Neurodivergence, including ADHD, has been an area of exploration for me recently as a lawyer, a parent, and a mindfulness teacher. ADHD prevalence in the legal profession is twice the national average. I have also had several contacts share with me recently about their experience being diagnosed as an adult.

Over the last year I have seen loved ones struggle with or worry about shortages of ADHD medications. This has inspired me to obtain training to better understand the intersection of mindfulness and ADHD.

Part of my searching led me to discover a great resource on the topic from someone who had researched it in-depth. Lidia Zylowska, M.D. is a psychologist who created a mindfulness program for people with ADHD and studied its effects in a clinical setting. She combines her research and insights in The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD, which I found to be a worthwhile and enjoyable read. Here are five reasons why I liked it.

1. Not Anti-medication

In case the title makes you nervous that the author “prescribes” mindfulness for ADHD to the exclusion of other things, like medication, don’t be. Mindfulness Prescription doesn’t do that. Dr. Zylowska says nothing in the book to dissuade anyone from supporting themselves with medication, therapy, or any other beneficial modality.

To the contrary, Zylowska offers useful guidance for people who may need to decide whether ADHD medication is right for them. She also explains that medication and meditation can work well together.

This is good news since, just like meditation, the decision to use medication to treat ADHD symptoms is a personal choice that may require consideration of a variety of factors. Rather than a directive, the discussion of medication in Mindfulness Prescription is aimed at empowering readers with information and ideas so they could make informed decision for themselves.

2. Offers a Clear Path for Learning Mindfulness

The book also offers a nice entry point and a clear path for exploration of mindfulness practices. The first section provides context and research regarding ADHD and explains why mindfulness can be an effective treatment option. Even if you know about ADHD, I encourage you to read the overview because it may increase understanding and motivate practice by clearly identifying potential benefits of mindfulness practice.

The second part of the book sets out Zylowska’s 8-week mindfulness program for ADHD. This portion of the book is ideal for readers new to mindfulness, since it offers clear guidance on practices that can target specific symptoms, such as a racing mind or hyperfocus. It may also be a good refresher even for experienced meditators because it offers so many suggestions for incorporating informal practices into life.

Image depicting the 4-step STOP practice which is an informal mindfulness practice discussed in the blog post

3. Doesn’t Exaggerate the Deficit in ADHD

My favorite thing about Mindfulness Prescription is that it didn’t let the “deficit” in ADHD take over. As a special education lawyer and someone who has loved ones with ADHD, I know it is common for people with ADHD to think of the condition as entirely a bad thing. This may be the result of problems in school, a series of negative comments over the course of one’s life, or a history of feeling obligated to work harder than others just to keep pace.

Despite research showing its potential benefits, this could make some people with ADHD feel like meditation, a practice in training attention, is not for them. Zylowska addresses this head on when she offers the idea that ADHD, just like many other conditions, isn’t all deficits. She reminds readers that all of us have relative strengths and weaknesses, and she explains that mindfulness is not just about focus but also non-judgment or open curiosity. Though people with ADHD may find focused attention a bit more challenging, Zylowska notes, curiosity may be a relative strength.

Overall, the book is clear that meditation is not about “fixing” oneself but relating to one’s life and oneself with greater kindness. It doesn’t merely offer practices to improve focus, but also aims to help readers cultivate self-compassion and self-acceptance.

4. Provides Formal and Informal Practices

The 8-week practice guide is built around targeting specific aspects of life that may especially benefit people with ADHD. These include focus, slowing down, body awareness, communication, and emotional regulation. In each chapter, formal guided meditation practices are offered to help the reader build skills in each area.

Though the formal practices are relevant and well-presented, the informal practices in the book may be the most useful. As an example, one practice “STOP” was an acronym to help you learn how to build regular pauses into your day. The acronym stands for

  • Stop,
  • Take a breath,
  • Observe (sensations, emotions, thoughts, environment),
  • Proceed.

Most of us can easily fall into the habit of unconscious rushing, but people with ADHD may have the extra challenge of hyperfocus that can make this even harder. Small practices like STOP built into your day can help make mindfulness a part of your life even without formal meditation practice.

Image with summary review of The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD contained in the blog post

5. Explains Mindfulness with Science and Stories

While of course the perspective of science in the Mindfulness Prescription is beneficial, I was also glad that the book wasn’t just science. Each chapter and each practice was embedded in a story from life to exemplify its significance and utility.

Though the first section of the book is heavy on science, the second section used stories and examples that showcase how mindfulness can work in real life. This made the book a lot more enjoyable and engaging to read and helps readers envision how they might begin using the practices to support their own lives.

Conclusion

The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD is an accessible, yet thorough offering for anyone looking to understand how mindfulness can serve as a tool for people with ADHD or for those supporting people with ADHD. Lawyers, professionals, and others who want to learn more about ADHD or mindfulness or both can benefit from reading it and trying the practices it offers.

Founder’s Note: The links to the book mentioned in this review are affiliate links. The review is unsponsored and sincere but the links to Amazon are paid.

Want to learn more about mindfulness and compassion? Check out my new book, How to Be a Badass Lawyer, for a simple guide to creating a meditation practice of your own in 30 days. And to share mindfulness with your little one, check out my new children’s book, Mommy Needs a Minute.

Like this post? Subscribe to the blog here or follow us on social media: